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Mr. Sedaei: You Aren't Very Bright

Ah, the Huffington Post: What would we do without it? Well, we'd have to go elsewhere to receive a daily dose of far-Left fatuity. And, as strollers around Al Gore's Internet can inform you, it isn't particularly easy to find "websites" composed by radical nutters. In fact, it's almost as difficult as it is to hunt down pornography on the Web. (Where do they hide that stuff?)

We, the crack young staff of "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," happened upon a delicious example of HuffPo idiocy the other day, which ably demonstrates the quality of fluff Arianna's orgy of self-celebration publishes. The HuffyPo, as it turns out, does not merely offer trenchant views on current affairs from various D-List celebrities.

Nope: In addition to publicizing the deep ruminations on foreign policy of John Stamos, it also boasts contributions from regular folks like you and us. If, of course, you and we were complete dolts.

Take, for example, a charming piece by a young Iranian émigré called Sam Sadaei. Before you even look at its first sentence, its title gives it away as a piece of arrant nonsense: "Mr. Olmert: Tear Down This Wall."

Oh, gee: A Ronald Reagan-Cold War reference, eh? Didn't anyone inform Mr. Sedaei that the proper way for anti-Israel fanatics to miscast the Jewish state is through an inapt comparison to South African Apartheid, not Communist East Germany? Apparently Mr. Sedaei didn't get that Saudi-funded memo.

But enough of this quibbling. We don't want to stop you from delighting in the almost preternatural idiocy of Mr. Sedaei's column. Here, for your perusal, is the piece's opening:

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert,

As someone who was born and lived under the current Iranian regime for seventeen years, I sometimes wonder if my readers know why I have been speaking about Israel so much when the American media almost never mentions [sic] Israel and presidential debate moderators find it more relevant to ask about life beyond earth, UFOs and baseball than how Israeli policies have been impacting U.S. interests for the past six decades.

We know what you are thinking, dear reader: Wow. What impressive ridiculousness!
We mean, come on: "the American media almost never mentions [sic] Israel"? Mr. Sedaei claims to have come to the United States from Iran; we, however, have the sneaking suspicion that he's spent his entire life on Mars. Or perhaps Pluto.

After all, he never appears to have read an American newspaper, watched American news programs, or participated in American political discourse. If he had, he might have noted that America--like much of the rest of the world--is positively infatuated by Israel. Does Mr. Sedaei believe that the American media are too busy reporting on the Tamil Tigers to trouble themselves with the intricacies of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict?

Sadly--nay, miraculously--Mr. Sedaei's piece manages to degenerate from this low point. Its author waxes indignant over the fact that Israel is a Jewish state, without troubling himself to mention that Iran--and the other explicitly Muslim countries in the region--aren't exactly beacons of secularity.

And then Mr. Sedaei manages to offer the apologists' line on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, whom he casts as philo-Semitic (!). Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a friend of the Jews! Oh, Ahmadinejad didn't say he wanted Israel "wiped off the map," claims Mr. Sedaei. This despite the fact that the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting used this very translation in an English version of an October 26, 2005 Ahmadinejad speech.

Further, Mr. Sedaei personally demonstrates his own philo-Semitism by referring to Norman Podhoretz as "a Jewish neo-con." Why Mr. Podhoretz's religious background is crucial to the Jew-loving Mr. Sedaei we personally couldn't determine.

(Note: The crack young staff normally "weblog" over at "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," where they are currently being trounced in the "Funniest Blog" category of the 2007 Weblog Awards.)


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Comments (4)

referring to Norman Podhore... (Below threshold)

referring to Norman Podhoretz as "a Jewish neo-con."

I thought neocons had to be Joos, at least according to the left.

Wow, someone voted for my c... (Below threshold)

Wow, someone voted for my comment but didn't even leave one to bump up the comment count. Well, at least I've doubled it.

Isn't it AMAZING how these ... (Below threshold)
Dirk:

Isn't it AMAZING how these brave WARRIORS FOR SECULARITY manage to suffer silently in America, the land of crazy fundies, rather than take the easy way out and go back to their "normal" loving countries of origin like Cuba and Iran?

It is amazing how little yo... (Below threshold)
You Are The One Who is not bright:

It is amazing how little your response to Sam Sedaei's thoughtful article contains. You only made a couple of points that shouldn't have taken you more than 5-6 lines. The rest of it is a pointless waste of words and readers' time.

1. "A Ronald Reagan-Cold War reference, eh? Didn't anyone inform Mr. Sedaei that the proper way for anti-Israel fanatics to miscast the Jewish state is through an inapt comparison to South African Apartheid, not Communist East Germany? Apparently Mr. Sedaei didn't get that Saudi-funded memo."
-This comment makes no sense as no creative writer or thinker should be bound by following others when making a comparison. Your allegation of a "Saudi-funded" memo is as baseless as everything else in your response. Do you have any evidence of your allegation? I wasn't aware that a memo needs to be "funded." A writer can compare Israel to any country that he or she sees fit. Just because some people have compared Israel to S.A. Africa, it doesn't mean Israel cannot be compared to any other country/state.

2. "We know what you are thinking, dear reader: Wow. What impressive ridiculousness!"
-you're good. Those very exactly my thoughts when reading your thoughtless and name-calling response to Sedaei's column which I just finished reading.

3. "the American media almost never mentions Israel?"
-I don't know about Sedaei, but I read multiple newspapers and watch a number of news programs on a daily basis and have done so for a few decades, and I completely agree that Israel almost never gets mentioned. The only times when Israel gets mentioned is when they bomb one of their neighbors without serious provocation or U.S. vetoes another UN Security Council resolution against them.

4. "Ahmadinejad didn't say he wanted Israel "wiped off the map," claims Mr. Sedaei."
-I trust Sedaei with Farsi skills over yours.

5. "Why Mr. Podhoretz's religious background is crucial to the Jew-loving Mr. Sedaei we personally couldn't determine."
-Let me illuminate you brilliant folks at "The Hatemonger's Quarterly." Podhoretz is Jewish. Israel was established as a Jewish state. It would make sense for a Jewish person to be sympathetic toward the Jewish state. Too hard to understand? I think you guys need to get out of your parents' basements and go get a real job. You aren't good at what you do now.




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