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(Insert Frank Zappa Song Title Here)

Our troops don't ask for much. Lord knows they deserve all they get and more, but they don't make a point of asking for it. But the few things they do ask for, we really ought to consider giving them.

The people serving overseas are, for the most part, young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. As such, their needs and desires are usually relatively simple. And there are people who don't think they should not only not get them, but not even be able to buy them with their own money.

One of these people is perpetual fun-killing asshole Donald Wildmon. He heard that military PXs and BXs actually carry -- and SELL -- magazines like Playboy and Penthouse. And he thinks that our young men (and women, in some cases -- and more power to them!) should not be able to buy such things.

And the perpetually indignant mommies at MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) are coming down foursquare against a move to allowing Marines coming back from the war in Iraq from having a celebratory beer or two with their buddies. You see, apparently they're old enough to sign up for military service, carry weapons, drive tanks, fly helicopters and jets, but if they're not 21, we can't trust them with beer.

A while ago I lambasted MADD for expanding their rampant nannyism into seat belt laws, but I think I'd rather have them nagging us over that than meddling with one of the few privileges those fine young men and women have the gumption to ask for.

Let them have their fun, people. Lord knows they've earned it.

(Editor's note: extra negative removed from second paragraph. Thanks for the heads-up, Anon Y. Mous.)

For those who don't catch the Frank Zappa reference, here are the lyrics. One of the few rules Kevin has is "no profanities in the title," and I try to reserve my breaking that rule for the times it's really, REALLY called for.


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Comments (19)

As a Vietnam-era Jarhead, I... (Below threshold)
GeminiChuck:

As a Vietnam-era Jarhead, I did a whole lot of beer drinking (celebrating, or not) from age 18 and up ON BASE. A military installation is, obviously, a very controlled environment - leadership knows what they have to do to manage the troops without the interferrence of outside "do-gooders". OOH-RAH! Happy Birthday to my fellow Marines - lift one today no matter what your age!

I was stationed in the Phil... (Below threshold)
Chris G:

I was stationed in the Phillipines as a 19 year old. Needless to say after that tour my brain was pickled. We played hard, but we worked even harder. Jay has a point. Everyone has an axe to grind, and it usually affects the very people it should not apply to,

Considering all they do for... (Below threshold)
LaMedusa:

Considering all they do for us, it's not at all too much to ask for a little something to take the edge off.

The MADD outfit was the mai... (Below threshold)
stan25 Author Profile Page:

The MADD outfit was the main push behind raising the drinking age back to 21 in 1988. They and Democrat controlled Congress. I can remember that they had it in the bill, that if the states did not comply by a certain date, the federal highway funds would be cut off. We all know that when any politician is threated to have money removed, they will comply.

The drinking age thing was never in the Constitution and was and still is a States rights thing, as laid out in the 10th amendment. I wish that Ronald Reagan had vetoed the bill back then, but like the rest of the American people, he was sold a bill of goods.

The 21 drinking age has not worked as they expected and just like the 55 mph speed limit thing, it should be abolished and sent the not so good laws graveyard

Another "nanny interference... (Below threshold)
Dennis P. Skea:

Another "nanny interference" story:
Stationed in Bien-Hoa '66-'67. The NCO club had slot machines. Some kid lost his money in the slots, and wrote Momma to complain. Momma knew a congresscritter. Guess what? No more slots in the Bien-Hoa NCO club for the remainder of my tour.
Another story: A load of beer arrived at the base. All the cans were rusted. The solution? Every GI had a brillo pad. No more rust.

just want to say Happy Birt... (Below threshold)
irongrampa:

just want to say Happy Birthday to the USMC, and a heartfelt THANK YOU to all vets, past and present,from the Army

Anyone wanna quote statisti... (Below threshold)
epador:

Anyone wanna quote statistics about how many Marines were lost to DUI accidents in the past year?

I'd rather have them nag... (Below threshold)
Brian:

I'd rather have them nagging us over that than meddling with one of the few privileges those fine young men and women have the gumption to ask for.

Riiiight, it's all MADD's fault. The fact that it's a federal law? One signed by Reagan? And left in place by the Republican-controlled Congress and presidency? Not so much.

And there are peop... (Below threshold)
Anon Y. Mous:
And there are people who don't think they should not only not get them, but not even be able to buy them with their own money.

I think you out-negated yourself. :)

Certainly Donald Wildmon is... (Below threshold)

Certainly Donald Wildmon is against anything that's fun. But also certainly Playboy and Penthouse are not near as good as Hustler. It's a true working class trash classic, and so is colorful publisher, Larry Flynt.

Incidently, my band, The Inputs, played a show with Frank Zappa's band at Pine Street Theatre in Portland, Oregon once before in the early 80's. We also jammed onstage with his band for a set as well. Like Zappa's band, we were also wild and creative guys and a good opening act for them. People still tell me that I look sort of like Frank Zappa. I guess the long hair, etc. I miss the wild and crazy bands like Zappa, Captain Beefheart, The Residents, The Fugs, Holy Modal Rounders and a few others.

I would seem that your read... (Below threshold)

I would seem that your readership lacks devotion to Frank Zappa, called by Andre Segovia (the master classical guitarist of all time) "the greatest composer of the 20th century." (He was obviously referring to his music, not his lyrics.)

So there are few among the commenters who could truthfully say that they correctly predicted the headline that Jay riddled. I am one of them.

Then again, there are any number of Zappa titles that could be applied to this and other current events:

The subject of this post -- Cheap Thrills (Cruisin with Reuben & the Jets, 1968)

Hillary Clinton's campaign -- Any Way the Wind Blows (ibid)

Dennis Kucinich's campaign -- You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here (Mothermania, 1969)

Bill Clinton Stumps for Hillary -- Willie the Pimp (Hot Rats, 1969)

The Giuliani juggernaut -- Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink (Chunga's Revenge, 1970)

Nancy Pelosi's Speakership -- It Just Might Be A One Shot Deal (Waka Jawaka, 1972)

Harry Reid's Public Speaking -- The Torture Never Stops (Zoot Allures, 1976)

John Edwards Campaign Slogan -- I'm So Cute (Sheik Yerbouti, 1979) or I'm A Beautiful Guy (You Are What You Is, 1981)

Supreme Court Oral Argument Loses Interest-- Ruth Is Sleeping (The Yellow Shark, 1993)

Mitt Romney's Campaign Slogan -- Pick Me, I'm Clean (Tinseltown Rebellion, 1981)

House Leaders Manipulate Rules for Partisan Advantage -- Treacherous Cretins (Shut Up N'Play Yer Guitar, 1981)

Oh this could go on and on.

LOL, The Fugs."It ... (Below threshold)

LOL, The Fugs.

"It Can't Happen Here"

OK, so who knows where, and... (Below threshold)
epador:

OK, so who knows where, and has been there with a picture to prove it, the only city park dedicated to Frank Zappa is [since thread is about real music instead of drunk Marines].

Must be in Palmdale. Just a... (Below threshold)

Must be in Palmdale. Just a guess.

LOL! Vilnius, Lithuania.</p... (Below threshold)

LOL! Vilnius, Lithuania.

Close, though.

epador, <a href="http://scr... (Below threshold)

epador, thanks.

A few of my favorite Zappa ... (Below threshold)
ijosha:

A few of my favorite Zappa quotes:

  • The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.
  • Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
  • Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
  • When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.
  • I've got a picture of the m... (Below threshold)
    epador:

    I've got a picture of the mural behind the statue if you're interested.

    I am. ... (Below threshold)

    I am.




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