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Man On The Scene (Well, 100 Miles From The Scene)

Updated and bumped to the top: Situation resolved, all is well once more.

Hey, this is so cool! There's a hostage situation at Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters here in New Hampshire, and I live only a few minutes from there!

Whoops, never mind. The nutcase chose the office in Rochester, not Lebanon. We're a small state, but we're not that small. He's about 100 miles away from here.

Anyhoo, it looks like some local nutjob rigged up something that looks like a bomb (and very well might be one) and went into Hillary Clinton's Rochester office, demanding to talk to the senator.

Clinton, currently in Virginia, responded immediately by closing down her offices in Iowa.

My hope and my hunch is that this is just some relatively harmless whackjob who will cause a whole bunch of fuss and inconvenience a lot of people, but the situation will end peacably -- and the guy (apparently named "Troy Stanley," but that's only from a few witnesses who say they recognized him) will spend a lengthy stretch of time in Concord.

If he's very lucky, at the state hospital.

If not, then in the state prison.

On behalf of the sane portion of the state of New Hampshire, I'd like to apologize to the nation for the fuss. Usually our nuts just take themselves hostage and barricade themselves on their own property.

Update: Local witnesses are saying the guy is in the middle of an unpleasant divorce, had been drinking heavily for 72 hours, and was asking where he could buy roadside flares. The guy needs a serious dopeslap. Here's hoping it's not delivered by a sniper.

Update 2: The Rochester PD is holding a no-news conference. It's a hostage situation, but they won't say if there are any actual hostages. They won't confirm or deny the guy's identity. Basically, it's inappropriate for them to release any information at this time. Here's what he's saying in a nutshell, from Captain Paul Callahan:

A guy with what appeared to be a bomb went into the Hillary Clinton campaign offices in downtown Rochester about 3 hours ago. The cops have sealed off a big hunk of the city and have done a whole lot of various and sundry things that they won't talk about. If you want more details, tough. Ask me anything you like; the answer will be "it is inappropriate to release any information at this time."

Update 3: The authorities say they have a tactical squad and the state police bomb squad on the scene. And Pretzel Logic says some people are saying "this takes Rudy Giuliani off the headlines." Likewise, it puts Hillary in a very sympathetic light and gives CNN a chance to have everyone talk about besides how they botched (or sandbagged) the Republican debate.

Both true, and -- I suspect -- both irrelevant. The guy's a nut. He wants attention. He's getting it. End of conspiracy theories.

5:15 p.m.: Now a Boston TV station is reporting that Mr. Nutcase Whackjob still has two hostages, and it's fallen dark. Not that that matters much; between TV lights, spotlights, and police lights in downtown Rochester, it appears to be high noon there. And several schools nearby went into lockdown immediately, but all the kids have been released to their parents.

The more I hear about it, the more I think about it, the more I believe this is a drunken loser who strapped some road flares and is looking for a whole lot of attention. He's apparently also got a history of saying the government has been putting microphones in his head. (Lord knows why; I always thought paranoia had a strong element of egotism to it. Why would the government give a shit about him enough to bug his head?) I still strongly believe this will end peacefully, and Mr. Nutcase Whackjob will be hauled off to the state mental hospital in Concord (yes, I do know where it is; no, I have never actually been there) for a lengthy stretch.

5:30: Another hostage has been released. Or maybe not. We saw the police escort a woman away from the scene, in a protective and not in a custodial sense, and taken away.

5:40: Now the suspect is a guy named Leeland Eisenberg, not "Troy Stanley." All the other details posted above (divorce, drinking, flares, etc.) along with telling people "watch the news tonight," still stand. I dunno what happened to Troy.

6:35: Looks like it's over. Mr. Nutcase Whackjob has apparently surrendered, and a special robot (who looks like Numbah Five) is investigating a package he set down outside Hillary's headquarters.

7:50: Last update: no one hurt, road flares successfully detonated, Mr. Leeland Eisenberg (alias Mr. Nutcase Whackjob) is facing a metric assload of state charges. The feds might get in on the game, too. No one was injured in the process. One idiot reporter asked if the whole building might have blown up; the local cop said, roughly, "listen, dumbass, the State Police colonel just said there were no explosives, but road flares, so he might -- MIGHT -- have been able to blow his nose. Or warned vehicles from running him over for approximately three hours at most. But there was NEVER any danger of anything going boom."

Senator Clinton offered to help however she could; she was told the best thing she could do was nothing. Unfortunately, this advice was limited to the immediate situation, and not the whole election, so she will be resuming her campaign activities shortly.

Again, on behalf of the sane folks of New Hampshire, I apologize first for this whole mess, and second for not making it more entertaining and telegenic. As I said before, our nuts are usually a bit more well-behaved.

As usual, I blame Massachusetts.


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Comments (24)

Are you sure he isn't a MIT... (Below threshold)
smitch:

Are you sure he isn't a MIT student???

The moonbats are waiting wi... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

The moonbats are waiting with baited breath to see if a guy with a "bars and stars" flag in his bedroom. I saw one comment that said "darn, this takes Rudy off the headlines"

I'm not saying this is a Cl... (Below threshold)
Dave W:

I'm not saying this is a Clinton scheme, but it is really fishy...

I don't think it is a Clinton mafia job, but i am curious as to how Clinton is going to play this. And play it she will! I know she's going to use this to make her out to be a victim. I just wonder how long it will be until Republicans start getting blamed for "dividing the country to cause this man to reach this point". Or if they will start saying "this guy voted Bush in '04 so theres obviously a connection"

I KNOW the lib-tards will start grasping for straws here to make this a political issue. they make everything else a political issue, so i don't know why they wouldn't try to use this as one...

I found this story extremel... (Below threshold)
Dave W:

I found this story extremely odd...

http://www.wmur.com/news/14737868/detail.html

So they cite that he has mental problems and then go on to say how he raised a stink about the police checking car doors to make sure everyone had them locked.

So is being concerned about property rights and illegal search and seizure now classified as mental illness? I don't see where their examples of him being mentally disturbed are. Obviously he is if he thinks he can walk into Clinton Mafia HQ and expect to leave with his kneecaps... This is terrible journalism on this story today. No straight facts, all a bunch of hearsay. Nothing of substance on this story other than the man took some hostages. Some say gunpoint, others say bomb, others say road flares. Journalists, get your story straight!

Actually i think this was t... (Below threshold)
Dave W:

Actually i think this was the story that i found really odd. Scratch that link above....

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003679941

I'm not saying this is a... (Below threshold)
Brian:

I'm not saying this is a Clinton scheme, but it is really fishy...
...
I KNOW the lib-tards will start grasping for straws here to make this a political issue

'Nuff said.

As was said on another site... (Below threshold)
RicardoVerde:

As was said on another site:
My original take on this thing was to assume it was a white male in his early 60's with nearly white hair and a distinct southern accent.

Brian,I'm glad you a... (Below threshold)
Dave W:

Brian,
I'm glad you agree with my sentiments about the Clintons.

I'm suprised this guy left the mafia HQ with his kneecaps still intact.

Let me be the first to predict that he "commits suicide" pretty soon

"Hey, this is so cool!"... (Below threshold)
jp2:

"Hey, this is so cool!"

Stay classy, J.T.

Here's what I find odd. Had... (Below threshold)
MagicalPat:

Here's what I find odd. Had he just put the whole affair on video tape, CNN would have included his questions for Clinton as part of the Republican debate.

Jay Tea a question for you.... (Below threshold)
Don:

Jay Tea a question for you. Is there any way to find out if this person is a registered Democrat?
This whole thing smells of the Clinton MO. Whenever bad press do something to change the story. (Remember when Bill bombed the empty tents and the empty asprin factory) For the last couple of weeks the story that kept giving has been the Clinton plants in the debates. So now the story is poor Sen Rotdum. So the man spens a couple of months in a Hospital, comes out with, lets say, $100,000.00, not bad for a poor guy down on his luck. Not a bad investment for getting Sen Rotdum the sympathetic press.

Don, the guy was a register... (Below threshold)

Don, the guy was a registered nut. Period. I dunno if he picked Hillary's office because she's the presumptive frontrunner, because she's a woman and he seems have have had problems with women, if Clinton comes before Obama and Edwards alphabetically, or if her office was the first one he came across, but I simply can not believe he was "aimed" at her office.

He's a whackjob. He's like a low-scale Lee Harvey Oswald; who the HELL would entrust him with any sort of sensitive task, AND trust him to keep quiet about it?

He's going to be a guest of New Hampshire's for some time. There was NOTHING political about it, just him begging for attention -- and man, did he get it.

J.

Ok, I just HAD to stop watc... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Ok, I just HAD to stop watching the Hillary Whitewater Clinton Press Conference on CNN. It was tooooo much. It amazes me how she can take - what for others would be a simple three second answer - and turn it into a three minute speech to stump for the Law Enforcement Officer's endorsement. I think she said "thank you" to them 37,783,278,363,269,332,973,349,701 times (until i could no longer stomach it and flipped it off).
And by the way, hasn't ANYONE told her to stop sticking her nose in the air yet?

Brian agrees that the Clint... (Below threshold)
Jo:

Brian agrees that the Clintons might have set this up?

Cool.

He might have picked Hillar... (Below threshold)
Mikey:

He might have picked Hillary's office because it was near the courthouse? Anyways. I'm glad nobody got hurt except the restaurant we were supposed to go to for dinner.

I think he picked Hillary's... (Below threshold)
MagicalPat:

I think he picked Hillary's office because that is the one place that would garner him the most attention.

Now the Clinton HQ will ado... (Below threshold)
Dave W:

Now the Clinton HQ will adorn the Crime Scene tape that it so rightfully deserves. Unfortunately it isn't for the right reasons...

Norman Hsu anyone?

Since the late night comedy... (Below threshold)

Since the late night comedy writers are on strike, I can't resist this funny take on the hostage situation:

Boy, that Rudolph Giuliani is sure getting desperate to pull that crazy incident at the Clinton office today.

They say Giuliani entered with a disguise hairpiece

Giuliani sneaked in hiding among his numerous wives

They say the guy that held people hostage had been drinking nonstop for hours, was depressed and had a long history of mental illness. But reporters are still asking why he did it.

Thank goodness Mrs. Clinton wasn't there. She wouldn't have allowed that hostage-taker guy out alive.

Taking hostages at the Clinton office? You'd think he'd pick a more feminine candidate like Dennis Kucinich who wouldn't fight back with every inch of their life.

Three rough places not to pull crap. 1. Biker bars 2. Gang houses 3. Clinton offices.

Fred Thompson's campaign is demanding equal time.

They say the hostage guy couldn't stand all the bureacratic levels of the Clinton office, and simply gave himself up.

The hostage guy could have entered the John McCain office. But with falling poll numbers, the press wouldn't have noticed anything amiss.

That hostage guy got bored so he worked the phone bank for a few hours.

That hostage guy could have entered the John Edwards office, but he was interested in someone who could actually win something.

Actually you could tell that the hostage situation was going to work out well. The really bad guys always have a middle name, Mark David Chapman, Lee Harvey Oswalt, John Wilkes Booth....

I wonder who'll play that wacky hostage guy in the movie version. Gilbert Gottfried.

Thank goodness no actual candidate for president was harmed, although there's still far more around than really needed.

That hostage guy could have chosen Iowa. But that's only a caucas.

Why would a wife divorce a real prize like that hostage taker guy? Anybody who drinks nonstop for hours is a real catch in my book.

Real relief at the White House today. People didn't hear all the bad news about housing, gas prices or Iraq. The White House just might hire that hostage guy to do PR work for them.

Leeland Eisenberg? That name sounds even less intimidating than even comic actor Eddie Deezen.

Actually most of the hostages didn't want to tell their families that a guy named "Eisenberg" could actually terrorize them.

Leeland Eisenberg? Sounds like he'll be spending time in jail with that gang of hardened criminal accountants.

Leeland Eisenberg? You knew the hostage situation would end before his 9pm bedtime.

Leeland Eisenberg? That's the toughest guy I've seen since Woody Allen or Don Knotts.

Attention mental hospital! One of your patients is missing.

And to think I thought that November sweeps was over, when they saved the best comedy show for last.

Given that all ended well w... (Below threshold)

Given that all ended well with no one injured, I think it's fine to laugh - even darkly.

For instance, I was too busy to get online while it was going on, but I kept hearing descriptions of the perp - "odd local character" who was "known to authorities" and "used several aliases."

I had to wonder, "Has anyone heard from Jay Tea lately?"

Seriously, of course, I knew it wasn't. The tip-off was that he "showed an apparent bomb device" . . . if he had entered "brandishing a stuffed duck," though . . .

;-)

~~~~~~~

Dave W (re: #5) ~ I suspect when he called CNN, he asked for Lou Dobbs . . .

"Hey, this is so cool!"... (Below threshold)
Ryan:

"Hey, this is so cool!"

Yeah, hostage situations usually are, you idiot.

Since no news has reported ... (Below threshold)
Gringo:

Since no news has reported the man's party affiliation, is it safe at this point to assume he's a registered democrat?

Jay Tea- saw a news report ... (Below threshold)
Waldo:

Jay Tea- saw a news report that this guy was originally from Mass.

Waldo:So was this ... (Below threshold)
epador:

Waldo:

So was this guy an illegal alien from Massachusetts, or a terrorist infiltrator from Cambridge?

It looks like the official ... (Below threshold)
Dave W:

It looks like the official spin on the story now is that "Hillary is calm and can handle a crisis!". This is presidential experience right here!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071201/ap_on_go_pr_wh/clinton_hostage_leadership_6

It's pretty easy to be calm when the hostages work in your office and you've probably never met them because you don't have to pay them. It's probably also pretty easy to stay calm when you're a few states away. Good thing she canceled that speech.

They are trying to spin this as leadership, but really what did she do that denotes leadership?

At least we know she can "stay calm in a crisis".

Yay




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