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This news really stinks.

CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

If 8th graders get detention for utooting, what would be the criminal penalty for adults? Six months in jail? It's good for me, but not the wife, that I work at home then.

Some how I think the newsletter was trying to be tongue in cheek. Otherwise some gasbags are going to get my Knucklehead award.

Hat tip- Japundit who calls this getting expelled for expelling.


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Comments (8)

There are so many more fun ... (Below threshold)
epador:

There are so many more fun ways to deal with disruptive behavior than detention. Generating negative peer pressure though added assignments, tests, etc. is one way. I am sure they have either been tried or ruled out, At any rate, simply providing a charcoal pillow for each offender to sit on in class would negate any olifactory insults.

Or, sit each 'offender' nex... (Below threshold)
GianiD:

Or, sit each 'offender' next to an attractive girl.

We all know females dont fart, ;-), and we can definitely hold out for a few extra minutes if in the vicinity of an attractive female.

Excuse me1: I don'... (Below threshold)

Excuse me

1: I don't ever want to live to see the day when farts aren't funny

2: How in the hell do they know what's an intentional fart or not?

It's possible to swallow ai... (Below threshold)

It's possible to swallow air in order to burp.

How does someone manufacture a fart? Sure, they can go for volume and duration but, yaknow, the gas has to be there.

Isn't the suppression of fl... (Below threshold)
Burt:

Isn't the suppression of flatulence the definition of "anal retentive"? Just askin'.

Imagine -- Camden, NJ, <a h... (Below threshold)

Imagine -- Camden, NJ, once one of the most violent cities in the United States, has done such a great job of eliminating drug dealing and gang violence that they've been able to focus the law on wind-breakers.

A miraculous story of urban success, wouldn't you say"?

Synova: Lets see now, the ... (Below threshold)
epador:

Synova: Lets see now, the rest of us probably know what foods to ingest to cause either an auditory or olfactory result that most except certain 8th graders would consider undesirable. I'm sure the 8th graders in question have decided to follow special diets before school days to ensure appropriate end-loading.

What now will they do give ... (Below threshold)
Spurwing Plover:

What now will they do give out beano tablets to all kids?




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