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Michelle Obama: Men are selfish, incompetent, and a mess

Oh, Lord. At what point does the Obama campaign finally put a muzzle on Michelle? It certainly works well for us on this side of the aisle (keep it up girl, you're doing great!), but when does Barack Obama start realizing that she's eclipsing Teresa Heinz Kerry in the dumb comments category?

Her newest idiotic drivel: that men are selfish and a mess!

In a 2004 interview with the Chicago Tribune, Michelle observed: "What I notice about men, all men, is that their order is me, my family, God is in there somewhere, but me is first. ... And, for women, me is fourth, and that's not healthy." This is not a radical observation: Get a half-dozen gals together with a few bottles of Beaujolais, and a similar theme will eventually emerge. (Trust me on this.)

...

As for her on-the-trail patter, Michelle is far from a feminist bomb-thrower, instead relying heavily on conventional, even old-fashioned, material. She gigs Barack for being too much of a guy: messy, thoughtless, and only marginally competent when it comes to life maintenance. More than once, Michelle has laughed about how she assigns Barack easy-to-manage projects, like procuring balloons for their daughter's birthday party, rather than anything more involved, like picking out goodie bags--"You'd walk in there and wander around the aisles for an hour, and then your head would explode." It's a folksy, humanizing shtick guaranteed to have women nodding en masse in amused agreement precisely because it is such well-trod territory. Women have long bonded over the knowledge that their men, though masters of the universe, are a disaster on the home front. It is a semi-comic routine as old as marriage itself: Sure, my husband can slaughter a mammoth with his bare hands, but can he put his club away? Can he pick his loin cloth up off the floor? And God forbid I ask him to supervise the kids' birthday down at the tar pits. No one would make it home alive. The fact that Michelle tells such tales on her hubby may be a departure for political wives. Yet, for wives in general, it is anything but new.


It's interesting to me that she assumes that all men are crappy husbands like her husband apparently is. That entire article blasts him -- for never helping out around the house, for putting his family as his last priority, for being selfish, for being incompetent... it goes on and on and on.

The thing is, Michelle sweetums, that most men are not like your husband. I know few men who are all "me first, me first, me first!". Most men I know bust their balls to be able to provide for their family. Most men I know make unbelievable sacrifices for their family. Just because Barack Obama cannot -- or will not -- do the same for his family does not mean that all men do the same. I know man-bashing is tres chic these days, but good grief, when does it end?

Women, say it with me: MEN. ARE. NOT. THE. ENEMY.

And this "harmless" disparagement of husbands among wives is not harmless either, ladies. It may seem like it's just fun and games to put down your husband when you're gossiping with your girlfriends, but it isn't. Would you say that kind of stuff to his face? Would you tell your husband that he can't take care of himself if his life depended on it, that he's selfish and doesn't pay enough attention to his family? If you wouldn't, then don't go around laughing about it with your girlfriends without a second thought. Men seem stoic and unbreakable, but they aren't. If your husband heard you telling your girlfriends how selfish he is, how he never helps out around the house, how he's such a mess, how he can't take care of himself... even if you meant it in jest, I can guarantee you that it would kill him inside. And you, loving wife, would probably never even know it.

Yes, women do this all the time -- we gossip with our friends and put our men down without a second thought. But why do we do it? Why don't we talk up our husbands more? Why don't we tell our friends what a wonderful father he is, or how great he is about helping us out when we just can't do it anymore, or how supportive he is? Why is it we find it so much easier to talk down our men? We're obviously with them for a reason; we fell in love with them because of how wonderful they are. Why is it so hard to express that?

I wonder how Barack Obama feels hearing his wife say this kind of stuff about him, as well. And what's interesting to me is that, if his wife can't even trust him to be competent enough to run his own life, how in the world can he run the country?

Michelle's no Jackie O.

Hat Tip: Dr. Helen


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Comments (33)

I got this in an email from... (Below threshold)

I got this in an email from my mother, of all people:

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

I love and admire my husband and I know that if he were home taking care of the house and kids and I were working, he would do just as fine a job at that as he does at work. I can't imagine this email being even remotely funny.

You're right: men are not the enemy.

And this "harmless" disp... (Below threshold)
Matt:

And this "harmless" disparagement of husbands among wives is not harmless either,

That "harmless" disparagement is one of the reasons that the divorce rate is still around 50% It shows a lack of respect for the spouse.

Don't worry about whether or not Barack is qualified to run a country, I am sure Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton couldn't run a household or take care of kids either and look at the swell job they did...

Please...lighten up. Men in... (Below threshold)

Please...lighten up. Men in general get this comment all the time. Women enjoy picking on men for their flaws. No one's prefect. Just like when you get a bunch of guys together, their honest feelings about the women in their lives comes out. Oh well, I guess for Clinton supporters, there's nothing more perfect than a man who sleeps around, brings home STDs and makes you the shame of the nation...like some slick willy we all know too well.

"put a muzzle on Michelle? ... (Below threshold)
BarneyG2000:

"put a muzzle on Michelle? It certainly works well for us on this side of the aisle"

Is Cindy such an "dumb blond" John had to muzzle her?

I've been receiving various... (Below threshold)
-S- Author Profile Page:

I've been receiving various invites to join "women's blogs" and "women's awards" and whatnot as to blogging sites and I really don't get it. Never have as to the gender-segregational things. And Michelle Obama is proving to be Barack Obama's handicap (or one of them) because her quick and loose (and sometimes even "dirty" -- there was this story from her earlier about how Barack "smells" in the morning and a few other references as to personal hygiene [his and their family's] that should never have been stated to the media, or any public person with decency in mind -- and I think I can safely and reasonably assign Michelle Obama to the heap of Spoiled and Segregated Spoiled Brat. She doesn't come off as a female so much as she comes off as entirely immature and bratty.

There isn't much about Mich... (Below threshold)
Sara:

There isn't much about Michelle Obama that I like, but I take exception here and do not think she is saying her husband is a "crappy husband." She is just stating a truism that almost all non-feminist women know, men are helpless babies who can barely function as adults without a woman telling them what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. It is one of the great mysteries of life how men manage to "manage" in the outside world. As my Aunt used to say, "never let him know he is a fool. It is your place as his wife to make sure he always looks like he is in charge and thinks he is too." Feminists hate that mindset, but then they just don't get it. They think they've been oppressed by men, never realizing that women who really understand men, don't feel oppressed, because they know they have the real power and used wisely it will benefit them a thousand-fold. The old mantra of behind every successful man is a strong woman didn't come about by accident.

Would anyone think that Barbara Bush ever took a back seat to her highly successful husband, George H.W. Bush? Does anyone think that Laura Bush takes a back seat to "W"? No, these are strong women who realize that their husbands are good at what they do, but rather bumbling "idiots" when it comes to the daily tasks of life. Can anyone say with a straight face that Barbara or Laura or Nancy Reagan or Betty Ford or Rosalyn Carter or Eleanor Roosevelt were oppressed women? These are all women who understood that orchestrating their married lives in such a way as to free their man up to have the time for power brought them power that most of us never enjoy and could never hope to achieve.

But in the end, the secret is really not so secret. Men need to feel needed to succeed. Feeling needed starts at home by giving them simple tasks that they can perform successfully and praising them for doing so, and building on that.

Sorry, poor punctuation, dr... (Below threshold)
-S- Author Profile Page:

Sorry, poor punctuation, dropped copy (^^).

It must be a republican thi... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

It must be a republican thing. My wife went out of town and left me with throwing my son a birthday party/sleep over. This included getting the cake, picking out and buying his present (I did discuss it with her to make sure she didn't see a problem with the present I didn't see), feeding the hungry hoard (I admit this was pizza but thats what they wanted), getting them to bed at midnight, and fixing them a Belgian waffle breakfast in the morning. Nothing my wife couldn't have done if the situation had been reversed.

So does America really want a president who says he'll talk with anyone no matter how much ill will they have shown for the US, created a minor international incident with those fearsome Canadians to prove his mettle and isn't even considered competent to handle a child's birthday paryt according to his wife? I know he is inexperienced, but how can we expect him to handle an international crisis when he can't handle domestic (as in his house) routine stuff?

It seems that a lot of crit... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

It seems that a lot of criticism of men by the women in their lives involves the home or the kids. Invariably the women making the criticism assume they are in charge and that their standards are the right standards.

Case in point was a news piece done by 20-20 several years ago. The women was so frustrated with her husband not pulling his weight around the house that she was in tears during the interview. The cameras followed them both around on a Saturday and sure enough the guy would stop cleaning from time to time to play with his young children. It soon became obvious that the guy wasn't lazy, but that the wife was an obsessive cleaner; to the point of taking apart every consumer accessible part of the refrigerator and thoroughly cleaning it every week.

The interviewer asked how they shared housecleaning and childcare tasks; but didn't get to the heart of the problem. To be fair the guy should have been in charge and his standards should have been used every other week. Maybe then the kids would get to play with both parents and the guy could relax a bit every other week. I'm sure not being allowed to clean would have drove the wife nuts.

but can he put his club away? Can he pick his loin cloth up off the floor? And God forbid I ask him to supervise the kids' birthday down at the tar pits.

Michelle, why do you think you're in charge of the house and kids? Barack knows that leaving the club accessible is a good idea, and it isn't that he'll leave his loin cloth on the floor indefinitely; it's just a temporary location while he's taking a shower or something. Leave it on the floor instead of hiding it from him and he'll likely put it back on and that saves on washing and drying. He's just trying to be green. When the loin cloth turns green then he'll wash it. And kids need to learn about the tar pit and dad's are often the first parent to give their kids some freedom. Being free involves risk; those who never take risks are never free. Kids who are never given freedom never learn about risk.

I agree with Michelle. Hub... (Below threshold)
Silda Spitzer:

I agree with Michelle. Hubbies are mostly useless.

In two weeks, my wife will ... (Below threshold)
Joel:

In two weeks, my wife will depart for Africa on a mission trip, leaving me to care for our two small kids by myself for ten days. No problem--I did it on her previous two-week trip last summer with no help and on the numerous times she has had weekend getaways.

We were married when I was 32--at that time I had already accomplished much both personally and professionally. I work full-time; she stays at home with the kids and teaches part-time in the evenings, leaving me with the kids then too. On average, I take responsibility for preparing at least seven of the meals our family eats each week and I do all the grocery shopping.

I've built an addition to our house. I have a side business in addition to my full-time job. I spend as much time parenting our kids as does my wife, and neither child is in child care--we don't want that. I do the yard work, maintain the cars and the house, keep the finances and help with other chores as well, without my wife asking or nagging me. My wife can't plan past this weekend--that is my strength. I'm primarily focused on achieving the goals we've set and forget to smell the roses--she reminds me to have fun (and often!) which is her strength. We work hard together and together we have done very well.

So pardon me if I think that Michelle Obama and Sara are either full of crap or just did a poor job of choosing their spouses.

This "helpless baby" who ma... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

This "helpless baby" who makes all the meals at our house, washes and folds all the laundry, shops for the groceries, tends to the yardwork and who does it all because I love and respect the daylights out of my wife and all that she does for me and us (and our soon to be child), has a simple message for Sara and Michelle O:

Maybe you should have married a man instead of a boy.

And don't blame the seller; blame the buyer.

Would she tolerate such gen... (Below threshold)

Would she tolerate such generalities being used to describe her gender? Race?

"Would she tolerate such ge... (Below threshold)

"Would she tolerate such generalities being used to describe her gender? Race?"

No, she wouldn't.

And it's not how you love someone. And I sure as anything expect that my husband is talking me *up* to his friends and not *down*. And I WILL do the same. Talk up, not down. Even in private with my best girl-friends, and even if I need a shoulder and need to talk about a problem, I talk about what he does right, too, and how much I appreciate that.

It's a simple thing, I think. And utterly vital for a long term marriage. We're here to lift each other up, not cut each other off at the knees.

And yeah, I've seen the "jokes" about the "perfect breakfast" and similar things. They aren't funny.

Peter F., right on the mone... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

Peter F., right on the money. I have been married for 33 years and it is joyous. She has her strengths and weaknesses as do I. For any of the above commenters to believe men can't function without women proves that the "mate" they wanted is equivalent to the dumb blond. Real men and real marraiges are shared efforts. ww

Let's see, Michelle doesn't... (Below threshold)
Jo:

Let's see, Michelle doesn't like her country or her husband.

Does she like anything? Oh yeah, she likes to bitch.

No wonder she's been MIA lately.

Right on, ww!... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Right on, ww!

Although, I think that what... (Below threshold)

Although, I think that what she was probably saying was that women should *also* put themselves first instead of fourth.

She is great! She i... (Below threshold)

She is great!
She is trying to out feminazi Hillary. I am sure the Obama's marriage is no different then Bill and Hillary's marriage.

That picture is just so...w... (Below threshold)

That picture is just so...wrong.

I think a lot of people get... (Below threshold)
SteveC:

I think a lot of people get their cues from pop culture when it comes to men. Every commercial/sitcom/movie, the dad character is the buffoon and only the wife and kids can show him the err of his ways.

I should say that it takes ... (Below threshold)

I should say that it takes very little, actually, to combat the man-bashing. The amount of public disapproval that needs to be expressed when your girl-friend or some other woman starts in to get the message across is really minor. "I'd never say something like that about my husband." would do it, or "I hope my husband doesn't tell jokes like that about me."

For a woman that's nearly a slap in the face.

That and simply say, from time to time, that you think people should lift their spouses up instead of tear them down.

And women who marry liberal... (Below threshold)
Spurwing Plover:

And women who marry liberal demacrats end up saying the same things their dweeby husbands say

I can't imagine why any con... (Below threshold)

I can't imagine why any conservative Republican would want to see a "muzzle" on Michelle Obama.

Let the lady talk. This year is a tough environment for Republicans, and we can use all the help we can get!

Cassy writes"Her ... (Below threshold)
kapow:

Cassy writes
"Her newest idiotic drivel: that men are selfish and a mess!

In a 2004 interview with the Chicago Tribune, Michelle observed..."

Love it!

She is just stating a tr... (Below threshold)
tigger:

She is just stating a truism that almost all non-feminist women know, men are helpless babies who can barely function as adults without a woman telling them what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. It is one of the great mysteries of life how men manage to "manage" in the outside world. As my Aunt used to say, "never let him know he is a fool. It is your place as his wife to make sure he always looks like he is in charge and thinks he is too."

Sara, it's one of the great mysteries in life how people such as yourself find men willing to have sex with you. ...let alone get married and have a family.

Oh and it sounds a lot like your Aunt was a bi*ch. I feel sorry for your uncle.

Women are generally very se... (Below threshold)
edward:

Women are generally very sensitive to the opinions of others/ even more than men, they tend to do what is socially approved. If they got status among other women by talking about how smart/successful/nice their husbands were, that's what they'd mostly do. But that isn't how the social pressures run these days.

One of my ex's friends was ... (Below threshold)
D:

One of my ex's friends was shocked one day when she was carping about what men couldn't do...and I said, "geez, you let them off so easy. If you expect them NOT to do something, they won't. What you are saying is that they don't do things in the precise WAY that you would. And so you don't let them, and they don't mind."

There is nothing quite so powerful as expecting someone to be competant. Most people will step up in a big way, just to prove themselves. If you are hung up on giving away your CONTROL of the situation, that's your problem.

There is a quote, most often attributed to Teddy Rossevelt, that most men consciously or unconsciously follow.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

Knowing this tell you a great deal how any guy will react in a situation, in this way you can know what to expect...

If you can't live with the way he will do it, then tell him you will take care of it, but it is your problem not his. It is also your problem when you denigrate him for your own micromanagement. I don't miss that much now that I am not married... not much at all.

dear Michelle O... If the guy is such an idiot, why would we think he'd make a good pres?

What Michelle basically say... (Below threshold)
Ivo Vos:

What Michelle basically says is when you devote your life to the community in a way that absorbs most of your time otherwise it would be a mess and thus spends less time for my personal me you are selfish. It begs the question who is selfish and what makes people think that they have the moral high ground.

Michelle Obama is the Jacki... (Below threshold)
FGFM:

Michelle Obama is the Jackie Kennedy of Liberal Fascism.

Kind of reminds you of ANNI... (Below threshold)
Spurwing Plover:

Kind of reminds you of ANNITA HILL

Excellent piece.Wh... (Below threshold)

Excellent piece.

When my wife and I married thirty-mumble years ago, we agreed NEVER to speak ill of the other in the presence of others, nor to tell embarrassing stories about the other. This has served us well. I honor my wife around other people, and she honors me. This leads to much harmony when we are not in public.

In this instance, love DOES mean never having to say "I'm sorry".

In this age of egalitarian ... (Below threshold)
Peter Charnley.:

In this age of egalitarian fanaticism the hatred that constantly emanates from the left and from today's women's movement towards the male of the human species, towards his role in society and his very physical being, is actually, from the perspective of egalitarian zealotry, an enormous compliment to men.

Of couse, many people will not see it like that. And I, myself, who does not want to live in a world of division and constant friction between each of the two halves of the largest and most dinstinct human sub-grouping, find it very tiresome.

But think about it. If a society is dominated by people who are obsessed with worshipping at the altar of 'equality', and if, by definition, the innate qualities of a particular group of human beings, by virtue of their birth and existence, are destined to forever undermine and render unrealizable the pseudo-religious, egalitarian fantasies of those people, they will be hated and In this age of egalitarian fanaticism the hatred that constantly emanates from the left and, particuarly, from today's women's movement, towards the male of the human species, towards his role in society and his very physical being, is actually, from the perspective of egalitarian zealotry, an enormous compliment to men.

Of couse, many people will not see it like that. And I, myself, who does not want to live in a world of division and constant friction between each of the two halves of the largest and most dinstinct human sub-grouping, find it very tiresome.

But think about it. If a society is dominated by people who are obsessed with worshipping at the altar of 'equality', and if, by definition, the innate qualities of a particular group of human beings, by virtue of the evidence of history, their birth and very existence, are destined to forever undermine and render unrealizable the pseudo-religious egalitarian fantasies of those people, they will inevitably be hated and scorned by those same pitiful and deluded souls.

In short, they are effectively declaring - 'my religion is equality, but you are a blasphemy to this because you are naturally the strongest and most successful human sub-grouping, therefore I hate you with all my being'.




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