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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

wcc03142008.jpg


Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Due to technical problems last weekend last week's contest is still open. You can enter that contest here. Winners for last weeks contest will be announced Monday morning.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entry. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (137)

Ninety-eight Pound Freaklin... (Below threshold)

Ninety-eight Pound Freakling

Wizbang? Well for $5500 a p... (Below threshold)

Wizbang? Well for $5500 a pop I was hoping for something a little slower.

DRUDGEBREAKING: The owners ... (Below threshold)

DRUDGEBREAKING: The owners of the HotOrNot website have announced their new political website -- Caught or Not. Developing...

"What's that, a prostitute ... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

"What's that, a prostitute in distress? Never fear, Spritzer is here,"

C'mon, guys. $4,000 an hour... (Below threshold)
ptg:

C'mon, guys. $4,000 an hour isn't expensive. If I only took three minutes like you lesser men, it would amount to a reasonable $200 a pop.

"Well, if I had to be repla... (Below threshold)
Adrian Browne:

"Well, if I had to be replaced, I'm glad it was by another Democrat more Progressive than myself. Good luck Mr. Paterson!"

I'm not only a member of th... (Below threshold)

I'm not only a member of the Chest Hair for Men Club, I bought the company.

I am cornholio!... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

I am cornholio!

Why yes, that is $4,000 dol... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Why yes, that is $4,000 dollars in my pocket. And I am happy to see you.

Half of the $4,000 he paid ... (Below threshold)

Half of the $4,000 he paid was a dork tax.

Good Lord, no wonder he had... (Below threshold)

Good Lord, no wonder he had to pay so much!

You idiot, the potato is su... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

You idiot, the potato is supposed to go in the front of your trunks

Question: What do you do wh... (Below threshold)
Jumpinjoe:

Question: What do you do when you can't score a babe at the beach with your lily white complexion and have tons of cash on hand?

High priced hooker: $4,000.... (Below threshold)

High priced hooker: $4,000.
Hotel room in D.C: $900.
Train fare from New York: $350.
Champagne: $240.

The stunning hypocrisy: Priceless...

Eliot Mess.... (Below threshold)

Eliot Mess.

"Kristin" said that when sh... (Below threshold)

"Kristin" said that when she heard he was a Super Delegate, she thought he'd be "bigger"...

Spitzer was nervously vigil... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Spitzer was nervously vigilant for Ogre, Stan Gable, and the rest of the Alpha Betas.

The Governor's story is tha... (Below threshold)

The Governor's story is that she didn't "inhale".

High priced hooke... (Below threshold)
High priced hooker: $4,000. Hotel room in D.C: $900. Train fare from New York: $350. Champagne: $240.

The stunning hypocrisy: Priceless...


Realizing the money would've been better spent on The Hair Club for Men -- Priceless.
Pull my ........ (Below threshold)

Pull my .....

He can't lie down at the be... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

He can't lie down at the beach because cats always try to bury him.

Shoulda' spent the 4g's on ... (Below threshold)
pibill:

Shoulda' spent the 4g's on a tanning bed, Bub!

♫I took my tro... (Below threshold)


I took my troubles down to Madame Rue.
You know that gypsy with the gold capped tooth
She's got a pad down on 34th and Vine,
Selling little hotties to Love Client #9.

My eyes! The goggles do no... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

A real man like Dennis Kuci... (Below threshold)

A real man like Dennis Kucinich doesn't have to pay for sex.

While posing at the beach f... (Below threshold)
Jumpinjoe:

While posing at the beach for the 2008 U.S. Governors calendar, the photographers decided that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer best represented the month of March because he came in like a lion and went out like a bright white lamb.

Hillary was client number 6... (Below threshold)

Hillary was client number 666.

"I think I just sharted"</p... (Below threshold)
tom:

"I think I just sharted"

Eliot Spitzer gives a visua... (Below threshold)
Jim in Cleveland:

Eliot Spitzer gives a visual explanation of why he had to pay $4,300 a night for sex.

After what happened, there'... (Below threshold)

After what happened, there's only one career still open to me...Congress.

Sung: "I'm too sexy for my ... (Below threshold)
Eric F:

Sung: "I'm too sexy for my wife, too sexy for my wife."

"even for guys with ED like... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

"even for guys with ED like me, there's discretionary fund accounts.."

Governor Spitzer was spotte... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

Governor Spitzer was spotted days after his resignation at Hedonism Resort with former President Clinton.

"Pull my ... wallet." ... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

"Pull my ... wallet."

WHO WANTS TO SEX ELIOT?!?!?... (Below threshold)
LCVRWC:

WHO WANTS TO SEX ELIOT?!?!?!

Mark Spitz I'm not. No worr... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Mark Spitz I'm not. No worries -- nothing that 5g's can't overcome.

My wife? She said she neede... (Below threshold)

My wife? She said she needed to look into a little legal matter...

Pimpin' ain't easy.... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Pimpin' ain't easy.

Over the loudspeaker:... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Over the loudspeaker:

"Now serving Number 9! Number 9!"

"You guys hiring?"... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

"You guys hiring?"

Strolling along, singing a ... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Strolling along, singing a song....

"Doncha wish your governor was a freak like me!"

The look of smug superiorit... (Below threshold)

The look of smug superiority is something only $4300 a night can buy...

Eliot has a new big spring ... (Below threshold)
Paul:

Eliot has a new big spring of humility and a generous swelling of litigation.

Can't touch this!... (Below threshold)
twolaneflash:

Can't touch this!

Client 9 from Outer Space.<... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

Client 9 from Outer Space.

After the call to Enzyte ab... (Below threshold)
Eric Forhan:

After the call to Enzyte about Natural Male Enhancement, Elliot is living large. In a few short weeks, Elliot has a big new spring of confidence. A generous swelling of pride. And the one thing every man deserves: A little well-earned respect from the neighborhood.

Enzyte, the once-daily tablet for natural male enhancement

"George Gershwin's Rhapsody... (Below threshold)

"George Gershwin's Rhapsody In Blue."

Eliot Spitzer shows why he ... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Eliot Spitzer shows why he couldn't get his women for free the way that Bill Clinton did.

This is the last known pict... (Below threshold)
epador:

This is the last known picture of the Governor of New York before the Governor of California kicked sand in his face.

"I'm man enuff, I'm rich... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

"I'm man enuff, I'm rich enuff, and Gosh Darn It, women like me if I pay enuff!"

Well, this didn't work. Gue... (Below threshold)
Sharon:

Well, this didn't work. Guess I'll have to hire a hooker.

Spritzerman: fighting for ... (Below threshold)
rockindoug:

Spritzerman: fighting for truth, justice and the barely tan way!

"D*mmit! Where'd she go? ... (Below threshold)
rockindoug:

"D*mmit! Where'd she go? I gotta remember to pay before I remove the shirt, not after."

I "found" this at LGF and t... (Below threshold)
Vegas Vic:

I "found" this at LGF and thought it to appropriate

Man is the only kind of varmint that sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it.

-- John Steinbeck

Not a bad way to start reti... (Below threshold)
john1v6:

Not a bad way to start retirement. If he's lucky, his wife won't find out which island he's on.

The only difference between... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

The only difference between what he was doing to the hooker and what he was doing to his constituents was that the hooker got paid.

The sad thing is that this ... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

The sad thing is that this was Photoshopped to make him look better.

Irony: more hair below the ... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

Irony: more hair below the neck than above it.

I was the Attorney General ... (Below threshold)
cathy :):

I was the Attorney General of New York! They used to call me Super Dick!

See ya
cathy :)

Eliot Spitzer poses for the... (Below threshold)
smitch:

Eliot Spitzer poses for the required photo for his application to "The Surreal Life: Political Dumbasses".

Housemates are rumored to include Mark Foley, Kwame Kilpatrick, new inductee Geraldine Ferraro, and that perennial political, dumbass gadfly, Barny Frank. Larry Craig is negotiating bathroom assignments before he gives final consent.

"the girls on beach...are a... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

"the girls on beach...are all within reach, if you've got 4 large.....?

"Nine? Are you kidding me? ... (Below threshold)
brainy435:

"Nine? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't go above 5.

Well... $5500 but that's it.

Why are you staring at me like that?

--Cough--... (Below threshold)

--Cough--

Lily white pervert alert!!<... (Below threshold)
914:

Lily white pervert alert!!

"I like them French-fried p... (Below threshold)
Craig:

"I like them French-fried potaters, um-hmm."

I actually voted for the 55... (Below threshold)
914:

I actually voted for the 5500...before I failed to rise..

Just think? 5500 hundred bu... (Below threshold)
914:

Just think? 5500 hundred bucks for doing....nothing..!

Horton hears a Hoe.... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

Horton hears a Hoe.

OK, here's my swimsuit phot... (Below threshold)
kbiel Author Profile Page:

OK, here's my swimsuit photo, now where's my $100,000 exclusive interview contract?

Governator...Not!... (Below threshold)
Pretzel_Logic:

Governator...Not!

I brought you all here to r... (Below threshold)
kbiel Author Profile Page:

I brought you all here to reveal how I plan to continue working for the public good outside of politics. I'm going to start by putting a shirt on.

Sh.T why does Clinton get s... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Sh.T why does Clinton get so many freebies?

"Money for nothing... (Below threshold)
914:

"Money for nothing and Your chics are sleaze"


Ha ha ha...lol

OK I confess it's just a ro... (Below threshold)
JAT:

OK I confess it's just a rolled up sock...but what do you expect for $4k?

With a mountain of evidence... (Below threshold)

With a mountain of evidence, the FBI placed Spitzer under abreast.

Pull My thong!... (Below threshold)
914:

Pull My thong!

CAN'T. SUCK. IN. MY. GUT. F... (Below threshold)
monkeypunk:

CAN'T. SUCK. IN. MY. GUT. FOR. MUCH. LONGER.

"I feel pretty, oh so prett... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gay."

Eliot Spitzer is The Jerk</... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Eliot Spitzer is The Jerk

Why yes, I am David Hasselh... (Below threshold)
jbw:

Why yes, I am David Hasselhoff....Look for $4,300 dollars you call me Hasselhoff, now go pretend to drown and I'll give you mouth to mouth.

Hey Gov. Your brains just s... (Below threshold)
SILVER BULLET:

Hey Gov. Your brains just slipped down into your shorts!

Tonight.. the light of Std'... (Below threshold)
914:

Tonight.. the light of Std's in Your eye's

Will You still screw Me..tomorrow?

The sheriff of Cell Block E... (Below threshold)
Tango:

The sheriff of Cell Block E.

Pool-side at Danbury Federa... (Below threshold)
Tango:

Pool-side at Danbury Federal Penitentiary.

What, no Speedo?... (Below threshold)
SideShowJane:

What, no Speedo?

The whitest playa on the pl... (Below threshold)

The whitest playa on the planet .

Letterman's list of the top... (Below threshold)

Letterman's list of the top ten ways to ruin your political career

#10. See #9

#9

#8. See #9

#7. See #9

#6. See #9

#5. See #9

#4. See #9

#3. See #9

#2. See #9

#1. See #9


Beach Blanket Bozo... (Below threshold)
guido:

Beach Blanket Bozo

In America -first yo... (Below threshold)
harshmellow Author Profile Page:

In America -
first you get de money,
den you get de power,
den you get de weemon.

- Homer Simpson

I believe Homer Simpson sai... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

I believe Homer Simpson said: "First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women."

So I started working out a ... (Below threshold)
woody:

So I started working out a bit, & I like hookers . . . & eHarmony says, you know, "Thanks, but no thanks"?? Wassupwiddat?

Let's be honest, no caption... (Below threshold)
David:

Let's be honest, no caption is needed.

I've fallen, and I can't ge... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I've fallen, and I can't get up!

Just call me Ron Mexico.</p... (Below threshold)
Lindy R. Dole:

Just call me Ron Mexico.

"Yo Blood. You can't blame ... (Below threshold)

"Yo Blood. You can't blame me for wanting to tap that fine ass. Damn Straight".

"Funny how my wife never no... (Below threshold)

"Funny how my wife never noticed $80,000 missing from around the house before. She didn't notice the "whore fund" on the bank statements".

Here we see Eliot Sptizer u... (Below threshold)

Here we see Eliot Sptizer using up his Emperor's Club loyalty points before they expire.

"Inflation is everywhere. o... (Below threshold)

"Inflation is everywhere. oil, food and prostitutes. I used to be able to hire two girls for $5,000".

"Mrs. Spitzer could avoided... (Below threshold)

"Mrs. Spitzer could avoided this whole mess if she only would have taken care of "business" at home. She refused to do the family poodle while I held the enema bag and watched".

"I hope my neighbors don't ... (Below threshold)

"I hope my neighbors don't think I'm weird or something".

"Darn. I knew I shouldn't h... (Below threshold)

"Darn. I knew I shouldn't have hired Britney Spears' career manager!"

"I think I'll ask Mrs. Spit... (Below threshold)

"I think I'll ask Mrs. Spitzer for some makeup sex".

"My politics and law career... (Below threshold)

"My politics and law career is over. I guess I'll have to take that Pimp daddy job".

"Well, all in all, that did... (Below threshold)

"Well, all in all, that didn't turn out too bad".

"PLAYGIRL Magazine here I c... (Below threshold)

"PLAYGIRL Magazine here I come".

Now Eliot resorts to impers... (Below threshold)
Roy:

Now Eliot resorts to impersonating the pool boy, in order to have sex with his wife.

OK... I've been forced to ... (Below threshold)

OK... I've been forced to look at it, now where's my $4,000?

Hello, my name is Eliot Spi... (Below threshold)
John:

Hello, my name is Eliot Spitzer, I'm unemployed and I live with my mother.

Can you see my boner? I tap... (Below threshold)
Baggi:

Can you see my boner? I taped it.

Taking a cue from gal pal K... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

Taking a cue from gal pal Kristen, professionally challenged Eliot looks for work with the Empress' club.

"Why, yes! For $5500 you c... (Below threshold)
LaMedusa:

"Why, yes! For $5500 you can also eat my shorts!"

"I'm the product of a broke... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

"I'm the product of a broken home!"

"...Oh!, That's right, I'm the one who broke it!"

Eliot Spitzer prepares for ... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

Eliot Spitzer prepares for his historic swim to the socialist paradise of Cuba, before the Feds move in.

WOW! I should have had a V-... (Below threshold)
Diane:

WOW! I should have had a V-8!!

Are you oversexed? Let me p... (Below threshold)
smitty:

Are you oversexed? Let me put a governor on you.

(*to the tune of secret age... (Below threshold)
retired military:

(*to the tune of secret agent man*)

They gave you a number and took away your name.

"I'm glad that people have ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"I'm glad that people have stopped thinking of me as just another number"

"You're my wife, you shoul... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"You're my wife, you should be happy for me. Now you can run for Congress, and then President. "

Eliot Spitzer was fired fro... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Eliot Spitzer was fired from doing American Express commercials when they asked "What's in your wallet?" and he pulled out a receipt from the Emporer's Club.

Bill Clinton got it for fre... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Bill Clinton got it for free
Spitzer didnt
Bill Clinton kept his job
Spitzer didnt
Bill Clinton kept his clothes on
Spitzer well um you get the idea.


"I'm sure glad I signed tha... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"I'm sure glad I signed that extension to the unemployment benefits."

"... head in hands. Simon ... (Below threshold)
elvis Author Profile Page:

"... head in hands. Simon says arms akimbo."

Are you Governor of New ... (Below threshold)
Proof:

Are you Governor of New York and a super delegate to the Democratic convention?
No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

Have I told You lately Im a... (Below threshold)
914:

Have I told You lately Im a jac ass

Have I demonstrated there's no one else above Me

You fill My nights with gladness, take away all My sadness

Ease My gonads that's what You do

"Club Fed, it's not too bad... (Below threshold)
Smitty:

"Club Fed, it's not too bad; three squares and a bunk, pool privleges. The only problem is Marion Barry's loud snoring."

If you play "Client Number ... (Below threshold)
guido:

If you play "Client Number 9" backwards, it sounds eerily like "Political career is dead, man!"

"Client number 9?? I thoug... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Client number 9?? I thought they said Love Potion number 9"

I feel pretty, Oh, s... (Below threshold)
invernessie:

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any guy who isn't me tonight.

Look Ma, no pants!... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

Look Ma, no pants!

Who needs good looks and ch... (Below threshold)
Mope:

Who needs good looks and charm with a fat wallet?

oh no! Shrinkage!... (Below threshold)
the struggler:

oh no! Shrinkage!

(my apologies to underdog)<... (Below threshold)
retired military:

(my apologies to underdog)

There's no need to fear! Spitzer is here!
when hookers in this world appear
and charm those that they should fear
and have sex with all who see or hear
the cry goes up both far and hither
for Spitzer! Spitzer! Spiterz! Spitzer!

speed of lightning, roar of thunder
screwing all who trick or plunder
Spitzer. Spitzer!

when the light in the bedrooms are red
of those whose hearts are filled with greed
who trick and hook those in power
charging more than $4000 an hour
goes Spitzer! Spitzer! Spitzer! Spitzer!

speed of lightning, roar of thunder
screwing all who trick or plunder
Spitzer. Spitzer!

(my apologies to Superman)<... (Below threshold)
retired military:

(my apologies to Superman)

Orgasm faster than a speeding bullet
More powerful than the LT Governor
Leaps tall hookers in a single bound

Out on the beach Look
It's a Kennedy
It's a Clinton
IT'S SPITZER

Yes, It's Spitzer: strange democrat from another state who came to New York with money and cronies far beyond those of native New Yorkers.

Sptizer: who can afford $5000 an hour for sex, ruin his career in a single second; and who, disguised as Eliot: mild-mannered democrat for a great metropolitan city, fights a never ending battle for sex, Hillary and the Democratic party."

"Clean Up On Isle Common Se... (Below threshold)

"Clean Up On Isle Common Sense."

I'm a steam roller baby,</p... (Below threshold)
jaymaster:

I'm a steam roller baby,

A busted hunk of cocky punk.

Tongue Twister:<block... (Below threshold)

Tongue Twister:

Picky Prognosticating Press Pummels Prim Proper Publicly Prudish, Privately Promiscuous Prosecuting Pied Piper Pickled for Proffering Probative Pickle to Pricey Post Pubescent Professional Prostitute
Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entry. The contest is now closed.




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