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Loving your wife -- and not being ashamed -- makes you whipped.

According to GQ, anyways.

They just released a list of the 25 Most Whipped Husbands. Some of them, like Guy Ritchie, are kind of understandable (especially when the picture accompanying has Madonna and Ritchie leaving a "store" with Madonna carrying a strap-on). But some of them made my blood boil.

A few examples:

  • Doug Christie
    A running joke among NBA fans holds that giving a friend a jersey emblazoned with the Sacramento Kings' number 13 is a none too subtle indication that your buddy is terminally whipped. The swingman's wife, Jackie, followed him on the road, where in a typical game she was treated to as many as fifty hand signals of love and affirmation. In 2002 his public subjugation was celebrated in the sports pages of The New York Times, where Christie boasted: "Every conversation I've ever had with a woman since we've been married, besides my wife, she knows about."

  • Kurt Warner
    The ex-Marine and born-again Christian--that's Mrs. Warner, by the way--has raised the ire of NFL fans with her unwelcome pronouncements on her husband's career, her aggressive evangelism, and her mushy postgame kisses. Fans have compared Brenda to Yoko Ono and Gozer from Ghostbusters, but her MVP remains loyal to a fault. When the journeyman QB learned he'd be playing in the Pro Bowl, he sent her a bunch of roses with a note reading "This is a great day for me, but it would mean nothing without you there to share it." Sheds some light on that groin pull in 2005, doesn't it?

  • Keith Urban
    First he supposedly signed a prenup agreement that pays him $600,000 for each year he's together with his Oscar-winning bride, Nicole Kidman--and not a dime should he fall off the wagon, which he's inclined to do. He entered rehab four months after their 2006 wedding. Maybe that's why he told an interviewer, "I don't want to be away from my wife for more than two weeks--I prefer it to be even less."

  • Seal
    He started dating wife Heidi Klum while she was pregnant with another man's baby, he says he's crazy about his in-laws, and his pals claim he even digs changing dirty diapers. Either he's whipped or the Light FM fixture has stumbled into the perfect marriage. As Heidi told Oprah last October, she fell in love with Seal the minute she saw him: "I met him in a hotel lobby in New York, and he just came from the gym, and I was like, wow... I pretty much saw everything. The whole package."

  • Mark Consuelos
    When asked if he'd ever dated older women before hooking up with wife Kelly Ripa, the actor and Age of Love host replied, "I don't remember life before Kelly." Adorable.

    Yes, these are some true examples of horrible whippage -- telling your wife about conversations he has with other women! Changing diapers! Public declarations of love! Putting your wife above your accomplishments! Not wanting to be without your wife!

    I've written about how I don't like the new breed of whipped men. But this is just ridiculous.

    Guys, don't fall for this GQ bullshit. A real man isn't ashamed of loving his wife, and he isn't ashamed to say so, or to put her first. A real man isn't ashamed of changing diapers. Our men may need to toughen it up, but that does not include the examples here. Don't fall for it.


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    Comments (9)

    GQ can take that crap and p... (Below threshold)
    irongrampa:

    GQ can take that crap and park it. I've been married to the same sweet lady for 40 years, and no day goes by that i don't find some reason to be glad I am. If that makes me "whipped", then bring on some more.

    Real men remain faithful to... (Below threshold)
    SteveC:

    Real men remain faithful to their woman. And a lot who don't, need to nut up.

    Oh, and I don't get the Kur... (Below threshold)
    SteveC:

    Oh, and I don't get the Kurt Warner one. The man was bagging groceries and was eventually a Super Bowl winner and is gracious to his wife..?? The hell GQ.

    If that is "whipped" then G... (Below threshold)
    Matt:

    If that is "whipped" then GQ would go catatonic to learn about the men that would gladly give up everything they have for the woman they love. There is a lot of them out there.

    Sorry, but yes, Keith Urban... (Below threshold)
    Helena:

    Sorry, but yes, Keith Urban is totally whipped and bought. He and Nicole Kidman's relationship was supposedly just for publicity in the beginning as Keith already had a girlfriend he continued to be with for months after. Anytime a woman has to pay a man yearly to stay with her...well it sounds like a phoney marriage to me. I think Nicole needed a husband quickly because Tom Cruise got a wife, and I think she only needed Keith to get pregnant like Katie. As for Keith, he's a Australian who was never very famous in Australia. He is now.

    What do you expect from GQ?... (Below threshold)
    Imhotep:

    What do you expect from GQ? Gay men writing stories for other gay men......of course there will be no understanding of a faithful married relationship.

    My wife started working ful... (Below threshold)

    My wife started working full time again so I could go back to school and change careers. The least I could do is to become a Househusband--all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of the kids, and other chores, while I study. It's not like she doesn't help out. We've always helped each other out.

    These things don't make a guy, "whipped". It makes a guy a good husband and partner in the relationship. Not to mention grateful and supportive. I'd rather be called "whipped" than have a terrible marriage.

    This is like consulting Cos... (Below threshold)

    This is like consulting Cosmo on advice on how to "please your man", etc. Sad, really.

    I suppose they consider wife-beating jerk, Sean Penn, to be the end-all be-all of masculine greatness.

    No thanks. I'll take my man secure enough to not need my blood on his knuckles or another girls' stink on his pants, to feel manly.

    I would put Cowboys quarter... (Below threshold)

    I would put Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo in the "whipped" category. When you lose all playing ability when your wife is in the stands ....

    --|PW|--




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