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Life in Florida

Here's some news that will make you love the Sunshine state-

Woman slugs her boyfriend after he forgets her birthday. I bet there will be no presents in the future years either.

Need a job? Lots of work for process servers these days.

Mother can't believe school took away her daughter's crutches and may sue as a result. As I see it someone won't have a leg to stand on.

Man pays for lap dances with funny money. Police get the last laugh.

A Walmart smash and grab robbery leads to three schools being put on lockdown. What's dumber, a shoplifter inconeveniencing our schools or the fact that there was one school closer than some of those that were locked down that continued to operate as normal?

A public defender talks down a jumper for the second time in ten years. Maybe Howard Finkelstein has missed his calling.

A McDonald's drive-through is held up. Robber is believed to have said- "Can I get some fries along with your 10's and 20's?"

You never know how many missing person cases could be lying at the bottom of a South Florida canal.

A marine could be court-martialed for taking a $10,000 gift.

This is nice. I just finish one part of a web fiction story which involves the smuggling of cocaine into Japan. Now here comes a real-life story of lots of blow arriving in Florida that says the street price in my story is possibly wrong. Writers hate stuff like this.

Things to worry about on South Florida roads- Alligators, half blind little old ladies in the left lane, and 300-lb wild hogs.

And finally meet Efraim Diveroli. Only in Florida will you find a person barely legal enough to drink, who makes 300 million dollar arms deals with the US Army to supply Afghans, has been arrested for DUI, and is under investigation by the FBI.

As I say, isn't this a great state or what?

Big Hat tip to Rick at SFDB.


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Comments (4)

I want to be a juror when t... (Below threshold)
Imhotep:

I want to be a juror when the stripper sues for not paying with real money for a lap dance!

I bet you can't even seat a jury for that.

As good as Mr. Finkelstein ... (Below threshold)

As good as Mr. Finkelstein might be at talking down would-be jumpers, it doesn't seem like there's that much call for it. Perhaps he could be a process server between calls...

J.

With <a href="http://www.pa... (Below threshold)

With this story I was proud of West Palm Beach.

I was a self-employed proce... (Below threshold)
TGScott:

I was a self-employed process server for about three years. It's good money when you get it, but it's scarce work in between. It doesn't put food on the table. I didn't mind it and I only nearly got shot once. After that, I got my permit and starting packing heat myself.




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