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Wizbang Regrets...

Hoo boy. Friday, Jim Addison posted a piece on Ron Paul's choosing to endorse the John Birch Society, and that brought out the Paulbots in hordes. One of them, "Mike," was so incensed that he not only posted a comment, but cut and pasted it to the "Tips" e-mail box so none of us would be spared his wrath.

Good thing he did, too -- I didn't read his comment, but I did read his e-mail.

Someone who gets so incensed over an article like Mr. Addison's deserves a serious answer.

I probably should have given him one.

Instead, I answered him thusly:

We here at Wizbang deeply regret Mr. Addison's blasphemous writings against your lord and savior, Ron Paul (Blessed be His name). His remarks were hateful and demeaning and, worst of all, revealed sacred truths that must not be uttered by heretical scum like him. We can only be grateful that he stopped before discussing the taboo subjects of The Divine One's revelation of the true differentiation of the races as revealed in His newsletters of the 80s and 90s, and His enlightenment of the masses about The Troooth of the 9/11 attacks -- that it was not Al Qaeda alone that engineered the slaughter of over 3,000 Americans, but the US government itself played a hand in the destruction of the World Trade Center Towers and the attack on the Pentagon, replacing the airliners with missiles and bombs and bodily assuming the planes into Heaven.

For his heresy, Mr. Addison will be burned at the stake as an example to those who would question Mr Paul's Messiahhood (blessed be His name). As a surprise bonus, the winner of this week's Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest will be given the honor of lighting the flames that will sent Mr. Addison to his well-deserved fate -- the earthly flames that we consign him to will be naught but a preview of the eternal flames of Perdition that will wrack his soul.

So should be the fate of all who speak out against Him.

Yours in Ron,

Jay Tea
Main Page Editor
www.wizbangblog.com

P.S.: Get a fucking life. Find something more productive to do than Google up "Ron Paul" (or respond, Pavlovian, to others who do) and attack those who dare voice opinions of which you don't approve. Hell, go masturbate or something. That's essentially what you're doing here, with this letter. Don't settle for the imitation, go for the real thing -- it's a hell of a lot more likely to gain you satisfaction than sending out barely-literate frothings (what the hell does "Ron Paul is fighting to people less laws" mean, anyway?) that only confirm the viewpoint that an unhealthy majority of Ron Paul's followers are -- for lack of a better term -- fucking nuts?

J.


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Comments (14)

IMHO your answer is spot on... (Below threshold)

IMHO your answer is spot on. I'm especially impressed with the eloquence of the last paragraph.

Ron Paul and his people are... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

Ron Paul and his people are very weird! ww

Some folks don't see politi... (Below threshold)

Some folks don't see politics as a sort of give-and-take, they see it as religion. THEIR religion is the only RIGHT religion, and they'll not stand for anyone dissin' their religious figures.

Don't mock Ron Paul, the mo... (Below threshold)
Paula Ron:

Don't mock Ron Paul, the momentum is building!

Yep,I loved Ron at... (Below threshold)

Yep,

I loved Ron at first but then it got weird. Kind of like that girl you get a crush only to find out she's totally annoying after it's too late...

Why are the smart ones always so dumb?

And for all of the messianic dribble spewed by the Ronnonites, there's just as much cult like nonsense from the Obamanites...

That whole "separation of church and state" thing is making more sense by the day...

Ron Paul isnt Kucinich-nuts... (Below threshold)
GianiD:

Ron Paul isnt Kucinich-nuts, but he is in the neighborhood!

BTW, Ru Paul is more genuine than Ron Paul.

Jay Tea.......you're holdin... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Jay Tea.......you're holding back, I commend your restraint! :o)

Both Ron Paul and Obama off... (Below threshold)

Both Ron Paul and Obama offer "Hope for America", while Ron Paul supporters went out of their way to annoy the hell out of everyone they possible could and therefor turning away support Obama's people just faint.

Well said JT, well said ind... (Below threshold)

Well said JT, well said indeed.

Nucking Futz, JT, Nucking F... (Below threshold)
epador:

Nucking Futz, JT, Nucking Futz!

When will you get it right???


;-)

"Ron Paul is fighting to pe... (Below threshold)

"Ron Paul is fighting to people less laws"

I remember, back when I used to drop acid, when that sort of thing made perfect sense. It was profound, even. Good times.

But then I had to grow up, get out of high school, etc. Maybe sometime they'll smarten up, but in the meantime, you really can't beat them for entertainment value.

Okay, so the Paul-bots DID ... (Below threshold)

Okay, so the Paul-bots DID make me cry (from laughing so hard at what pathetic morons they are). And I appreciate those who rose to my defense, because after "Mike" posted his eloquent critique I was just sure I would never be allowed to darken this portal again . . .

But perhaps I'm getting soft in my dotage, because I feel a tiny bit of sympathy for the Paul armies. I can't imagine a life so utterly devoid of meaning that I would latch onto some cult of personality, and imbue that hero with god-like qualities in my mind. To join with a political cause and candidate as if they were some Holy Crusade is something I cannot comprehend.

And here, those miserable losers of life's lottery who hitched their wagons to Ron Paul's star have not only had their fragile hopes dashed by his weak, fringe-nut showing in the primaries, but now they must also bear the scourge of cruel and thoughtless pundits like me, who stomp upon their fallen dreams, grinding them into the ground like dust. How awful it must be for them to endure this salt being rubbed into their gaping, oozing wounds!

Quite frankly, it's amazing they can go on at all, with their very reason for living gone, crushed, and discarded like last month's The Spotlight. In their depths of despair, they aren't able to do themselves or anyone else any good, much less be productive members of a free society.

No, it's probably best for all if they just lined up, single file, and marched off a cliff into the sea, like the lemmings of legend, in a final, futile gesture as meaningless as their lives and campaign.

It's sad, really, as I'm sure many of them might have had futures as marginally productive laborers, if they ever managed to put down the doobies and move out of their parents' basements.

if they ever managed to ... (Below threshold)

if they ever managed to put down the doobies

Maybe it's the childish insistence of Paulbots to continue living in their fairy tale world that brought it to mind, but when I read that line, I could hear Ernie singing, "Put down the doobie."

The Ron...Peas be ... (Below threshold)

The Ron...

Peas be upon him.




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Editors: Jay Tea, Lorie Byrd, Kim Priestap, DJ Drummond, Michael Laprarie, Baron Von Ottomatic, Shawn Mallow, Rick, Dan Karipides, Michael Avitablile, Charlie Quidnunc, Steve Schippert

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