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Why stop at two or even six?

Another episode of life in Florida.

Furious at what they consider the giving of more tax dollars than they get, North Lauderdale commissioners passed a resolution to divide Florida into two states: North Florida and South Florida.

They'd draw the boundary line at Jupiter, the northernmost city in Palm Beach County and head south down through Broward and Miami-Dade counties and into Monroe County.

The city commission in North Lauderdale could save taxpayer money by not wasting time on dumb topics.

Instead Florida bloggers should unite to draw a new state map. Some Cranky Guy has beat me to it.

I think the North Lauderdale City Commission is being very short sighted. We can't divide the state of Florida into two! It needs to be broken into six states!

The Panhandle we would just give to Alabama.

North Florida

Gulf Florida

Disney

Conch Florida

Atlantic Florida

Wacko Florida

Actually, now that I think about it, maybe South Florida should not just be their own state, but country. That way we could apply for foreign aid from America and get better highways, food for our massive homeless, and peace keeping troops to kick the corrupt government from office and help with the out of control crime.

Making Florida its own country would be going too far. War would be declared, and soon afterwards the smart bombs would start falling from the skies. Heaven knows, Floridians can't allow anything smart down here.

Here's Cranky's map

Just to let Wizbang readers know, I live in Wacko Florida. You probably knew that already.

The six new states sound great to me. I think more need to be added. Mostly in South Florida

Where the Left hand turn blinker is never turned off- Boca Raton

Country of crazy judges- Broward County Court House. Make sure a very high wall is put up around it so these nuts are never allowed to rule on anyone ever again.

The Water stinks- West Palm Beach

Don't move here or the politicians may seize your property- Hollywood

Knucklehead HQ- Lantana. Then again, maybe not. I haven't given out an award in a while.

I could think of more states if given enough time. Tomorrow I'm traveling four hours by car one way for my latest cancer treatment. My destination is Tampa and I'll have to pass through Atlantic Florida and Disney to get to Gulf Florida. Will I need a passport? Only if I plan to see Mickey for an extended period.

My mind isn't working so good right now, can't you tell?


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Comments (9)

This plan ain't gonna get y... (Below threshold)
SPQR:

This plan ain't gonna get your delegates seated at DNC ...

Estado Cubanos del Norte?</... (Below threshold)
RScott:

Estado Cubanos del Norte?

It seems you mistakenly included the Conch Republic in the place formerly know as the state of Florida.

As a resident in the future... (Below threshold)

As a resident in the future state of Northern Michigan, I'm anxiously waiting to see how things develop for you--though I'm honestly hoping we divide Michigan into 32 states.

We need the Senators.

everybody likes to pick on ... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

everybody likes to pick on my state as being weird. You know why it's weird? Becasue we didn't stop all the New Yorkers and Bostonians from bringing their madness down here. ;-)

Rarest species on this planet is a native Floridian. I'm near Ft Lauderdale and I've yet to meet one. All those transplanted Northeasterners migrated from NY and Mass to Florida and it's been downhill ever since.

We have boldy supported the... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

We have boldy supported the succession of NW FL into the state for years now and fwiw I am a native. Heck, we'll even allow you to give us Tallahassee, you keep the politicians though.

Just build a wall south of ... (Below threshold)
Buddy:

Just build a wall south of ocala and give south florida to New York, It's pretty much that anyway :-P I moved out of FL (lifetime native) 3 and a half years ago. Best thing I've ever done.

RScott is right. The Conch... (Below threshold)
Oyster:

RScott is right. The Conch Republic seceded April 23, 1982. I know. I lived there. I have a passport.

Hell, it's their motto:

We seceded where others failed

Can we declare Corrine Brow... (Below threshold)
Oyster:

Can we declare Corrine Brown's district a separate state too? Please?

But isn't all of Florida co... (Below threshold)
Paul:

But isn't all of Florida considered Wacko Florida?




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