Another episode of life in Florida.
Furious at what they consider the giving of more tax dollars than they get, North Lauderdale commissioners passed a resolution to divide Florida into two states: North Florida and South Florida.They'd draw the boundary line at Jupiter, the northernmost city in Palm Beach County and head south down through Broward and Miami-Dade counties and into Monroe County.
The city commission in North Lauderdale could save taxpayer money by not wasting time on dumb topics.
Instead Florida bloggers should unite to draw a new state map. Some Cranky Guy has beat me to it.
I think the North Lauderdale City Commission is being very short sighted. We can't divide the state of Florida into two! It needs to be broken into six states!Making Florida its own country would be going too far. War would be declared, and soon afterwards the smart bombs would start falling from the skies. Heaven knows, Floridians can't allow anything smart down here.The Panhandle we would just give to Alabama.
North Florida
Gulf Florida
Disney
Conch Florida
Atlantic Florida
Wacko Florida
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe South Florida should not just be their own state, but country. That way we could apply for foreign aid from America and get better highways, food for our massive homeless, and peace keeping troops to kick the corrupt government from office and help with the out of control crime.
Here's Cranky's map
Just to let Wizbang readers know, I live in Wacko Florida. You probably knew that already.
The six new states sound great to me. I think more need to be added. Mostly in South Florida
Where the Left hand turn blinker is never turned off- Boca Raton
Country of crazy judges- Broward County Court House. Make sure a very high wall is put up around it so these nuts are never allowed to rule on anyone ever again.
The Water stinks- West Palm Beach
Don't move here or the politicians may seize your property- Hollywood
Knucklehead HQ- Lantana. Then again, maybe not. I haven't given out an award in a while.
I could think of more states if given enough time. Tomorrow I'm traveling four hours by car one way for my latest cancer treatment. My destination is Tampa and I'll have to pass through Atlantic Florida and Disney to get to Gulf Florida. Will I need a passport? Only if I plan to see Mickey for an extended period.
My mind isn't working so good right now, can't you tell?
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Filed under:
Florida, Humor
Comments (9)
This plan ain't gonna get y... (Below threshold)1. Posted by SPQR | May 7, 2008 10:48 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
This plan ain't gonna get your delegates seated at DNC ...
1. Posted by SPQR | May 7, 2008 10:48 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 7, 2008 22:48
2. Posted by RScott | May 7, 2008 10:56 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Estado Cubanos del Norte?
It seems you mistakenly included the Conch Republic in the place formerly know as the state of Florida.
2. Posted by RScott | May 7, 2008 10:56 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 7, 2008 22:56
3. Posted by Rougman | May 7, 2008 11:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
As a resident in the future state of Northern Michigan, I'm anxiously waiting to see how things develop for you--though I'm honestly hoping we divide Michigan into 32 states.
We need the Senators.
3. Posted by Rougman | May 7, 2008 11:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 7, 2008 23:14
4. Posted by Faith+1 | May 7, 2008 11:18 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
everybody likes to pick on my state as being weird. You know why it's weird? Becasue we didn't stop all the New Yorkers and Bostonians from bringing their madness down here. ;-)
Rarest species on this planet is a native Floridian. I'm near Ft Lauderdale and I've yet to meet one. All those transplanted Northeasterners migrated from NY and Mass to Florida and it's been downhill ever since.
4. Posted by Faith+1 | May 7, 2008 11:18 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 7, 2008 23:18
5. Posted by Gmac | May 8, 2008 12:14 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
We have boldy supported the succession of NW FL into the state for years now and fwiw I am a native. Heck, we'll even allow you to give us Tallahassee, you keep the politicians though.
5. Posted by Gmac | May 8, 2008 12:14 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2008 00:14
6. Posted by Buddy | May 8, 2008 12:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Just build a wall south of ocala and give south florida to New York, It's pretty much that anyway :-P I moved out of FL (lifetime native) 3 and a half years ago. Best thing I've ever done.
6. Posted by Buddy | May 8, 2008 12:57 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2008 00:57
7. Posted by Oyster | May 8, 2008 7:07 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
RScott is right. The Conch Republic seceded April 23, 1982. I know. I lived there. I have a passport.
Hell, it's their motto:
We seceded where others failed
7. Posted by Oyster | May 8, 2008 7:07 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2008 07:07
8. Posted by Oyster | May 8, 2008 3:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Can we declare Corrine Brown's district a separate state too? Please?
8. Posted by Oyster | May 8, 2008 3:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2008 15:56
9. Posted by Paul | May 10, 2008 9:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
But isn't all of Florida considered Wacko Florida?
9. Posted by Paul | May 10, 2008 9:04 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 10, 2008 09:04