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Just A Story.

My wife and I cannot have children.

For reasons beyond our control, it is the will of Heaven that it is an impossibility. We have thoroughly researched every type of fertility possibility: Artificial insemination, In-Vitro, even floating the idea of a surrogate mother. But for reasons personally, medically, and financially, we've come to the conclusion that none of these options are viable.

For those reasons, adoption seemed to be the only possible conclusion. In the world of adoption, there are mainly three choices: Fost-Adopt, Domestic adoption, and International adoption. Each has it's own special circumstances, ranging from the physical and emotional health of the child, to astronomical amounts of money incurred by agencies which are supposed to "help" with the process.

We had taken classes to become foster parents. Six weeks worth of information. A crash course in what is involved in taking on a foster child. Most, if not all, of these poor kids have physical and/or emotional problems of the highest magnitude, some being fetally addicted to drugs, most having severe anger issues which physically manifests itself, and some having terrible physical disabilities. The classes are not for the faint of heart. To see what has happened to these poor, innocent kids is heart-wrenching, and to see how pervasive it is is abominable.

We were placed in the "Fost-Adopt" program, where the ultimate goal would be to adopt the child after you've fostered them for a pre-determined amount of time. We found, however, that during this time, if a member of the birth-parent's family decided they wanted to take the child, we would, by law, have to give up this child that we most assuredly would have taken to be our own.

I, nor my wife, would be able to endure this type of separation, so we decided to drop out of the program.

Left with the choice of Domestic adoption or International adoption, we choose the latter for various reasons. We found an agency that deals exclusively with Chinese adoptions, as we felt this to be a noble choice, because, for reasons I will not go into, these children, left to the Chinese government, end up leading horrific lives.

The process is long and emotionally taxing. Reams of documents, initial deposits of large sums of money, and at least for me, the frightening aspect of having to live in China for up to 2 months, led us to mutually abandon this venture.

Domestic adoption is not much easier, and certainly not as easy as it used to be. The amount of money a couple has to pay an agency can be in excess of $30,000. And though there are tax credits for adoptive parent, the initial outlay of money is an unfortunate hurdle.

Yes, we've had "options". And yes, we've willingly decided to not pursue them. That is our choice, and may be our sadness to bare. We may still, in the future, persue such options, but for now, it seems our destiny is set.

I honestly don't know why I wrote this, let alone published it to a website, but, for some reason, I just wanted too.

It is unfortunate that those couples who choose to adopt need to jump through hoops and pay exorbitant amounts of money to agencies whose sole focus is, really, turning a profit. I'd almost say it would be better for the government to run such processes, but, then I come to my senses and realize what a calamity that would be.

I think this is one of the reasons, among many, that I feel so strongly that abortion is such a sorrowful avenue to travel. So many people who can have children give up the blessing like so many missed gifts that invisibly pass us by. And all for the sake of "inconvenience".

I wonder, If they only knew.

I often think of what my life will be like when I am old, and unable to take care of myself. There may likely be no children to take care of me.. Nobody with which to spend my final days. Nobody left to love as I pass on. Just God and me.

If you have children, please consider yourselves blessed. Give them a special hug. God willing, they will be there with you at the end.


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Comments (33)

Its a far cry from the 'orp... (Below threshold)
JoeC:

Its a far cry from the 'orphan trains' of the 20s and 30s where the government would just roll up to a stop and prospective parents would pick from the lineup a kid or two.... now you have not only the expense but the endless background 'investigations' and 'classes' and 'studies', THEN you get to fight the 'Child Protective Services' (who think everybody are perverts except their co-workers, and even they are suspect) and legal system and whatnot. But then I'm not telling you anything you haven't already hear or experienced.

I have a friend who has adopted 11 over time (and has two naturally born of his own). A man with an iron will and pockets deep enough to fight the system. And one who has continually fought the system AFTER they were legally his, because he stepped on the toes of a vindictive CPS worker.

It takes a special heart to want to fight those kinds of road blocks to take one not of his own flesh and love that child as his own. Don't give up, all (good) things come to those who wait....

"So many people who can hav... (Below threshold)
Mike:

"So many people who can have children give up the blessing like so many missed gifts that invisibly pass us by."

Wow. That sums it up so elegantly.

Shawn, I don't know what countries you have looked into, but I have personal friends who have been successful in adopting from India and Guatemala.

If you'd like to contact me off-site via Kevin, I would be happy to put you in touch with them. These two couples are more than willing to help anyone interested in international adoptions.

Of course, you always have to do what you are led to believe is the right thing.

- Mike Laprarie

Shawn-In posting t... (Below threshold)

Shawn-

In posting this, you will shortly find that you are not alone.

My wife and I took quite some time to conceive. We have two dear friends who may not be able to and have run into the same issues you have.

One question we must ask: "Where did all the children go who used to fill orphanages and adoption agencies?"

The answer is, "They have been prevented from being born in the first place."

The Chinese, despite having the loathsome and barbaric "one child policy" forced upon them, still so love children that they produce more than their monstrous government will allow them to keep.

In America, we kill 1.3 MM of these children per year in abortion clinics and contracept God knows how many out of existence.

One consideration which might be an option for some seeking domestic adoption---become a Catholic.

The Catholic Church remains the foremost (sometimes sole) advocate for fighting the evils of abortion and contraception (not to mention euthanasia, which will become an issue as the prospect of nationalized healthcare looms under Obama). As a result, the Catholic Church walks the talk by providing adoption services. Even this is imperiled now because the U.S. government is seeking to force Catholic adoption services to place children in very chic gay homes. On the other hand, the U.S. government very much frowns on placing black or Hispanic children in homes where the parents are too white to be licit.

It is so hard to desire to provide a loving home to children and be denied at every turn by a state which views them as little more than a drain on resources.

May God bless you and your wife. He knows a thing or two about such suffering and yours brings you close to Him.

Don't lose hope. We'd all but given up when my wife was anointed by our priest. Our sun was born on the first St Patrick's Day to occur during Holy Week in 85 years. We're hoping he'll become a priest.

I am crying as I read this.... (Below threshold)

I am crying as I read this. I woke up in the middle last night and wrote about abortion on my blog. The destruction of Americans is a 9-11 every day, yet no united front to cease the insanity.

And for foster adoptive children my husband and I were placed with three boys 10 months, 2, and 4-they were legally free(meaning that they were up for adoption and we had them for 4.5 months and an aunt countered our adoption. I am for family and what not, but when the chips were down these boys never had a relative. Anyhow on my birthday the state asked for the boys back as we hadn't passed the magic 6 month date we had to comply. Devastation is the only way to describe this pain.

I am sure others have had a great experience with state adoption but for us it left a jagged scar that will always be raw.

I pray that you and your wife are blessed, as the pro abortion argument rings hollow...many many of us would open our homes for one, two, three or so more children, and we need no state funds.

Thanks for sharing this.

Buy a couple of go karts. Y... (Below threshold)
bryanD:

Buy a couple of go karts. You'll have kids waking you up in the morning and tucking you in at night.

"I honestly don't know why ... (Below threshold)

"I honestly don't know why I wrote this, let alone published it to a website, but, for some reason, I just wanted too."

Hey, I know why: To inspire the rest of us. Thanks for that.

This post really got to me.... (Below threshold)
Sara:

This post really got to me.

My only child was the result of a gang rape. At first I planned to give up the baby, but as soon as I felt him move inside me, I knew I could not. He was mine and the sperm donor was "of the past." The pregnancy and birth went flawlessly, but about 3 weeks after giving birth, I developed a major infection that put me back in the hospital for almost a month and I nearly died. The infection spread thruout my reproductive system.

Fast forward three years and I married. My new husband immediately adopted our son, but we decided that we would try for a 2nd child right away so they wouldn't have such a big age gap. That is when the troubles began. And 2 1/2 years later, we were at the doctors to find out why I wasn't getting pregnant.

Since I had had a child, they naturally looked to my husband first and discovered that his sperm count was so low, they doubted pregnancy would ever be possible. About 6 mo. later, I started having "female trouble" and they discovered that the earlier infection had left my tubes scarred so any chance of conceiving was nil. We immediately looked into adoption.

It was a terrible ordeal. First, because my husband had adopted our son, we were ineligible for a child under the age of three since we already had one child. If he hadn't adopted, they would consider us childless. Then we were told that state law required at least a 5 year age difference between children of the opposite sex, which meant we could adopt a boy over 3, but to have a girl, she would have to be at least 8 or older. Then they decided since my husband was active duty military we were considered high risk due to deployments and chance of dying (it was the VietNam years), so that meant that we were pretty much considered unsuitable.

We then looked into private adoptions, but found that the cost was way way beyond our ability.

It was so frustrating since we had a beautiful large home and lots of love to give, but we were young and inexperienced and we gave up.

There is a happy ending to this story, however. Dear friends of ours had a terrible tragedy in their lives while she was pregnant. He was killed and she was left paralyzed. The baby was born about 2 days later and she was still unconscious. They called her a miracle baby. Since I was taking care of their two older children at the time, they put the baby in my arms at 1 hour old and the next day I brought her home.

When her Mother regained consciousness and realized she had not only lost her husband, but would be unable to hold or take care of her baby, she asked me if I would be willing to raise her as my own. After some legal consultation and lots of prayer, we agreed and Victoria became part of our family permanently. The Mom had been married before so the two older children went to their grandparents by that first marriage.

When Victoria was about 5, her birth mother passed away, but before she died she made a video for our daughter, letting her know that even though she had never regretted giving her over to us, she still loved her and was content knowing she'd done the right thing.

We all look at Victoria as a miracle child. It was a miracle she lived to be born after the accident. And I'm convinced that our earlier adoption processes were thwarted because the fates knew that the child meant for us had yet to be born.

Shawn,Has your wif... (Below threshold)
Deb:

Shawn,

Has your wife checked into low thyroid as per http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/.

I was one who had 9 miscarraiges (thankfully 5 children also) and never was given a reason. But in researching some health issues, I came across several doctors saying that when they gave their patients Armour Thyroid (despite "normal" blood numbers) those patients ended up conceiving.

Also, we knew a family that ended up adopting a foster family of kids (7) and added to their one, had 8. So it might be worth checking more of the "unadoptables".

I appreciate the good post.

just wanted to another 'tha... (Below threshold)
pax:

just wanted to another 'thanks for posting' your message.

Shawn,I've worked wi... (Below threshold)
SCSIwuzzy:

Shawn,
I've worked with this agency in the past, if you are ready to out on that limb again: http://adoptionsfromthehear.rtrk.com/

Please don't give up -- not... (Below threshold)

Please don't give up -- not if you really want a child.

As I write this, I sit across the froom from my six-year-old son. We brought him home from the hospital when he was five days old. He was a foster child, but social workers knew that he would almost certainly need a permanent home. I can't imagine life without him! He laughs, he loves, he plays computer games. He's got a speech delay but gets help for it, and he's learning to read already!

Not only is foster care free, but you can even get a monthly stipend in most cases. You can also specify the age of the child you'd like to adopt, whether you're open to transracial adoption, what medical conditions you are willing to accept, and whether you want a "low-risk" foster-adoption (low risk of family being reunited).

Don't be too afraid of medical conditions foster kids may have. Some conditions, like fetal alcohol syndrome, are serious, but others that seem serious actually aren't -- that is, the kids can go on to live happy, normal lives.

Becoming a parent is messy and difficult and expensive no matter how it happens, including through natural conception. You get this little kid home and you quickly learn how hard it can be on your back and arms to tote the baby around all the time (until you get used to it); you miss your sleep; you don't know how to comfort this little one when he/she cries; your whole lifestyle gets disrupted.

But eventually it gets easier. You adjust. Before you know it they're three and a half and suddenly you can take them to dinner with you with nothing more than their sweater.

I have a philosophy in life that has served me well in everything from job searches to becomming a mother: When there is something you really, really want, never, never, never give up. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Use flexible persistence. Go around, go under, go through, but never, never stop. Let them slam the door in your face if they will, but never shut the door on yourself!

You can do this. I can see it clearly. You will do this. Know that you will, see it clearly as an already-accomplished fact, and start figuring out how how go there.

Blessings and best wishes for Christmas.

Gina Cobb

Please don't give up -- not... (Below threshold)

Please don't give up -- not if you really want a child.

As I write this, I sit across the room from my six-year-old son. We brought him home from the hospital when he was five days old. He was a foster child, but social workers knew that he would almost certainly need a permanent home. His adoption was finalized when he was two. I can't imagine life without him! He laughs, he loves, he plays computer games. He's got a speech delay, but gets lots of help for it in school, and he's learning to read already!

Not only is foster care free, but you can even get a monthly stipend in most cases. You can also specify the age of the child you'd like to adopt, whether you're open to transracial adoption, what medical conditions you are willing to accept, and whether you want a "low-risk" foster-adoption (low risk of family being reunited).

Don't be too afraid of medical conditions foster kids may have. Some conditions, like fetal alcohol syndrome, are serious, but others that seem serious actually aren't -- that is, the kids can go on to live happy, normal lives.

Becoming a parent is messy and difficult and expensive no matter how it happens, including through natural conception. You get this little kid home and you quickly learn how hard it can be on your back and arms to tote the baby around all the time (until you get used to it); you miss your sleep; you don't know how to comfort this little one when he/she cries; your whole lifestyle gets disrupted.

But eventually it gets easier. You adjust. Before you know it they're three and a half and suddenly you can take them to dinner with you with nothing more than their sweater.

I have a philosophy in life that has served me well in everything from seemingly impossible job searches to seemingly impossible odds of becoming a mother: When there is something you really, really want, never, never, never give up, no matter how had it is and no matter how filled with despair you are. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Use flexible persistence.

Go around, go under, go through, but never, never stop. Let them slam the door in your face if they will, but never shut the door on yourself!

I know it's tempting to achieve closure.
I know that continuing to try is hard. But the rewards are incredible.

You can do this. I can see it clearly. If you truly want a child, you will do this. Know that you will, see it clearly as an already-accomplished fact, and start figuring out how you got there.

Blessings and best wishes for Christmas.

Gina Cobb

Shawn,Don't give u... (Below threshold)
Rose Hughes:

Shawn,

Don't give up permanently on the international adoptions.

Our family had exceptional results (two wonderful boys) with an agency that deals with Korea. The first time the child was delivered to them. The second, the husband went to Korea to pick up the child and was there less than a week.

A friend had great results (a girl) with an agency that deals with Columbia. I do think they had to be there a few weeks, but he appreciated the time to get acquainted slowly with the child.

Shawn, gentle hugs to you a... (Below threshold)
Prairie:

Shawn, gentle hugs to you and your wife.

I can tell you this, having children are no guarantee that they will be there with you in old age. You just need to stop in an a nursing home to witness that fact.

Recently my best friend who never had children passed. She was surrounded by those who truly loved her - friends and a few family members.
She lived life the only way she knew how - with gusto! I sincerely wish you good friends and gusto.

"If you have children, plea... (Below threshold)
tyree:

"If you have children, please consider yourselves blessed."

I do and I am. Thanks for sharing that.

Shawn,Thank you fo... (Below threshold)
Aubrey:

Shawn,

Thank you for your post.

I was adopted nearly 41 years ago by the best parents in the world and my life has been nothing but blessed as a result.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife. My best friend and his wife are going through the same situation that the two of you are and it's heart wrenching.

If you ever decide you want to borrow my 17 year old son, let me know. Oy! He might make you rethink your position on children. :)

My previous boss and his wi... (Below threshold)
ShuShu:

My previous boss and his wife have their own son but when they were ready for their 2nd child they decided to adopt a needy child. They began with China and after 2 yrs gave up and switched to Guatemala. They now have the little daughter they'd wanted. It took about 18 mos but they were able to go down and visit her periodically so she would know them. She was brought to their hotel to stay with them on their visits. They were not allowed to leave the hotel while they had her. This gave them all a chance to get to know each other and bond before they were able to bring her home permanently.

Another person I used to work with was successfully able to adopt a girl from Russia and a couple of years later she went back and got a 2nd daughter.

Based on other people I know the foster experience has not been a positive one.

Best of luck to you and don't give up if this is something you really want.

I did not read everyone els... (Below threshold)
Jesse:

I did not read everyone elses posts, just wanted to respond with yes, I know I and my wife are blessed. I hope that this works for you and your wife. It is a true blessing to have children. js

My wife and I went through ... (Below threshold)
Steve:

My wife and I went through the same thing and we adopted a boy from Guatemala and it has been the greatest blessing that I have ever been given. He is 7 now and he is all the more special because he is quite clearly a gift from God. The adoption process (and the infertility leading up to that) was very tough, but as someone who has gone through that, I can only say that you will count yourself more blessed by what you receive than by what you have "lost". I wouldn't have thought that at the time, but hindsight causes me to weep at the possibility that I might never have met or known my son had it not been for that. I don't mean to belittle the pain and stress that you are going through now. All I can say is "Hang in there". Like real labor pains, you will forget the ordeal with time and will see the ultimate good that God provides for those who wait and have faith in Him. It will happen.....I can assure you of that.

Shawn, We also are... (Below threshold)
Brenda:

Shawn,

We also are where you are- we have had multiple miscarriages, done the infertility treatment to the extent our $ and ethics would allow (including surgery) and tried out the adoption route for several years as well. Eventually you reach the point that you cannot continue both emotionally and financially. There are 40 waiting couples for every baby available to adopt. I feel one of the greatest silent tragedies of our time is being caused by abortion- it kills the baby, harms the birth parents, and denies families like us of an opportunity to be parents as well. On top of that, most people still think it is just not a big deal- Want a child? Just adopt! Not quite that simple. I really admire the people who are able to stick it out, it did not work out that way for us. Right now I am just focusing on being a good influence on the youth around me in our community and church. I am learning to have a good and happy life anyway in spite of it not going the way I had wanted or planned. But it isn't easy. Hang in there!

Brenda

bryanD your comment is so c... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

bryanD your comment is so completely telling of what a scumbag you are.

When I was in my twenties, ... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

When I was in my twenties, many friends considered both marriage and kids as something for squares. (That might give you an idea how long ago that was.) Regardless, my then-girlfriend and I married, and went on to have not one, but three kids.

All the time, our friends were laughing at the two of us for our "foolishness." Why tie youreself down? And yes, the wife and I had many hard years. Kids are a lot of work, the more so in that the best way to teach them is through example. That meant my wife and I had to give up the bad, fun habits of our youth, and become the types of adults we wanted our children to grow into. (Bummer, man. Like work, man.)

We had three, and my youngest is 18. An adult. And all three have grown into adults that my wife and I can be proud of. The world will be a better place with the three of them in it.

As for our friends that refused to become squares? They were never willing to commit to the effort required to build a marriage or a family. Many are now approaching retirement, wealthy, but alone. Only now are discovering that money, indeed, cannot buy happiness. Yes, it can buy comfort and toys, but eventually both of those pall. Money cannot buy companionship, except of the counterfeit sorts -- fur children and sycophants.

I feel for both you and your wife, Shawn. I hope you are able to adopt. Please reconsider fostering. Yes, separation can hurt, but biological parents lose children, too. Without risk, there is no gain.

Shawn - God bless you and y... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Shawn - God bless you and your wife. Thank you for writing this. I hope that you have received some encouragement.

We have one son, the old fa... (Below threshold)
Andy T:

We have one son, the old fashioned way. After he were trying for #2, we discovered my wife should not have any more children.

Fortunately for us, the China window was wide open. It sounds like your analysis and ours was very similar. Costs were lower though, and we did not need to spend two months living in China.

Our daughter is now 13, 12 years post-adoption. She was born in Chang-sha, Hunan. She is as American as they come.

My only advice is to not give up trying. International adoption windows open and close. Private adoption, depending on your state, is a real viable alternative. The other thing I would recommend, is calling every single family lawyer in your area. Almost every Mom that wants to put a child up for adoption will call a lawyer to find out how. They can expand you chances of finding a child.

If you want the longer story, I assume as a moderator you can see my e-mail and contact me.

My prayers are with you a... (Below threshold)
mf:

My prayers are with you and your wife. I believe in miracles so please hang in there.
I enjoyed the posts/article.

My mom was born in the early 1900's and adopted. Back then adoption was not a good thing, she was teased constantly....had a rough time.
I am so glad she was adopted.
Now there are several grandchildren that are young adults leading productive lives.
We tell our children we love them, we are very proud of them, hug/kiss them. We are certainly blessed.

bryanD, you're a dork.... (Below threshold)
LaMedusa:

bryanD, you're a dork.

Shawn, I knew a guy who adopted through foster care. The circumstances were different, because the kids' mother was a drug addict on welfare, but he and his wife stuck it out and ended up with the adoption process. It started out with her two small children, and before they knew it, they got her baby, too. They had almost given up hope when their requests were finally approved. Now they have three of the most adorable children you could ever imagine. You will have your child, and are definitely in my prayers.

May the lord bless you!... (Below threshold)
David:

May the lord bless you!

Your story is our story!
My wife and I were in the exact same position. We looked into agencies and found the cost and hoops you have to jump through to be awful. I felt as though the agencies were "selling babies".

We consulted many different people and found that the best way to go was a private adoption. The cost was much less and the legal hurdles much less as well.

The trick is to let everyone know that you want to adopt. My wife is a teacher and my father-in-law is a pastor. What you need to do is tell EVERYONE who comes into contact with young women who may become pregnant that you are willing to adopt. Consult you Doctor, all your friends who are teachers, clergy or social workers. Let them know and keep reminding them! Always keep the word out! My wife works in a small school and the number of unwanted pregnancies will amaze you!

In our story, we bought all kinds of baby stuff that went on sale through the years, beds, cribs, toys etc. Then as we began to realize the Lord was not going to bless us with a child and we checked into adoption and found the same hurdles as you we became to realize the Lord had decided not to bless us with a child.

We were resigned to the fact that we would be a childless couple and left it in the lords hands. We began to give away all our baby stuff to young girls who became pregnant. As we gave the last of our babay stuff away , one night I got a call from my wife who said that her Dad's bosses step daughter was pregnant and had decided not to keep the baby and would we be interesteed in adoption! We fell to our knees and thatnk God! Oh course we would! We meet the young lady and her parents and worked out a plan. It seems medicare would cover all the medical expenses and we moved her into out house for the last 6 months of her pregnancy. We legally could only provide expenses and we followed the law exactly.

The young lady had been on the way to Dallas to get an abortion because the "Father", was forcinng her too as she passed a sign in a plowed field put up by a farmer that said "Abortion Kills, Choose Life", She made him turn around and go back! She then confided to her step dad who confided in my father in law who got us together!

Things have worked out very well and we have a gentelmans agreement to an open adoption where she is sort of a relative and will get to see our daughter grow up and be a part of her life. This has worked well so far and we can terminate at any time but the young lady has done really well and we ae keeping our end of the agreement.

Our daughter is now 4 years old and a joy to us all!

Don't give up! Put your faith in the Lord! Get the word out to everyone! Contact private adoptiion lawyers, teachers, doctors, clergy, relatives, social workers, anyone who may come into contact with a young pregnant girls and keep the contact going!

May God Bless you all! It will happen in "His time"!

Merry christmas!

David

I am and always will be pro... (Below threshold)
jmc:

I am and always will be pro-choice, however, I am truly sorry for you and your wife. I hope at some point you will be able to adopt a child.

I think we can agree it is a shame how hard it is to adopt children. After college my fiance(who speaks Russian) worked for an agency helping western families adopt Russian children in poverty. She was, and is really proud of the work she did, but she was also really distressed about how many people were making an ass load of money off of people who only want to help an orphaned child.

In Russia (this was ten years ago so who knows now) you couldn't get anyhting done with bribing the right people, which is pretty disgusting.

Anyway, all the best in your search.

there are too many obstacle... (Below threshold)

there are too many obstacles to adoption in this country.
http://rightklik.blogspot.com/

Shawn, Thank you... (Below threshold)
Ken:

Shawn,
Thank you for sharing your story. I would like to encourage you to look into other international adoption possibilities. Possibilities in other countries are always changing.
Your story is the story of my wife and I nineteen years ago. We finally settled on international adoption due to our advancing age. There were many ups and downs, but we kept fighting through each problem, praying and trusting God along the way. We finally were matched with a baby boy from Paraguay, waited seven months to travel to the country to finalize the adoption and spent three weeks in Paraguay before bringing our son home.
Our son is now a freshman in college and just returned home for Christmas break. I can tell you all the hard work and agony of the adoption process was worth it. Adoption is a mutual blessing to the child and the parents.

God Bless!

"It is unfortunate that tho... (Below threshold)

"It is unfortunate that those couples who choose to adopt need to jump through hoops and pay exorbitant amounts of money to agencies whose sole focus is, really, turning a profit."

The name of the game: capitalism. (You aren't buying a child, you're paying people to sign papers that say the child is now yours. A fine distinction, but civilization is wrought of such distinctions.)

So now that you know, shop the market like you would any other. Find the right balance of cost and quality, and don't let anyone tell you a sob story that ends up being revealed a scam - quality means what YOU want it to mean.

My friends,Thank y... (Below threshold)
lowmal:

My friends,

Thank you all for your encouraging comments and selfless stories.

They have meant a great deal to me, and have certainly made writing this piece most worthwhile.

Merry Christmas to you all,

-Shawn

Oops. I just realized I le... (Below threshold)

Oops. I just realized I left out one salient point, the withholding of which made my post sound crass and rude.

I've found that I can easily waste time decrying the fact that the universe is not as it should be, in various ways. Getting over the "it should be such and such a way" can be hard, but when it is done, it yields time, energy, and strength.




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Editors: Jay Tea, Lorie Byrd, Kim Priestap, DJ Drummond, Michael Laprarie, Baron Von Ottomatic, Shawn Mallow, Rick, Dan Karipides, Michael Avitablile, Charlie Quidnunc, Steve Schippert

Emeritus: Paul, Mary Katherine Ham, Jim Addison, Alexander K. McClure, Cassy Fiano, Bill Jempty, John Stansbury, Rob Port

In Memorium: HughS

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