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Media sets phasers to "Swoon", plays laser tag

"My bunk. I'll be in my bunk."

You knew it was going to be bad, there was no way to know just how bad. The media's honeymoon has gone from the metaphoric period of relatively soft coverage granted a new administration to a full-on candlelight, Barry White playing in the background, slip on something sexy from Victoria's Secret, scented massage oil lovefest. Deferential coverage of their guy is to be expected and the historical implications of Obama's election are notable. But there's a limit to all things. The media love affair has reached the point of self parody.

Between workouts during his Hawaii vacation this week, he was photographed looking like the paradigm of a new kind of presidential fitness, one geared less toward preventing heart attacks than winning swimsuit competitions. The sun glinted off chiseled pectorals sculpted during four weightlifting sessions each week, and a body toned by regular treadmill runs and basketball games.
The sun glinted off chiseled pectorals? Yeah, I'll be in my bunk. Harlequin romance novel, Big Un's, Washington Post, whatever it takes.
For the small group of reporters tasked with following Obama's every move, his fitness has become a running joke repeated in the stories they file. They sit at McDonald's while he exercises in Hawaii. They eat calorie-rich scones while he sweats at Regents Park. One reporter for the Christian Science Monitor, filing his report about one of the president-elect's gym trips last month, noted: "While Mr. Obama worked at maintaining his lithe look, your pear-shaped pooler spent quality time at a local coffee shop."
You'll go insane viewing yourself through the same lens you use to gaze upon Obama's god-like figure. Lord help them if they ever walk in on Dick Cheney when he's taking a shower.

It's not just that he's an Adonis. He's, like, sooooo bitchin':

Barack Obama may be the first U.S. president who can successfully pull off the shaka, a Hawaiian greeting Hawaiians say has various meanings, from "hang loose" and "cool" to "thanks."
...
The president-elect, looking uber-cool with his White Sox baseball cap on backwards, flipped the shaka to a crowd of about 30 people as he left a gym on a Marine Corps base on the Hawaiian island of Oahu, where he is vacationing.
The president-elect, looking uber-cool with his White Sox baseball cap on backwards, flipped the shaka to a crowd of about 30 people? I will so be in my bunk. He's just dreamy AND he makes rudimentary hand gestures? It's like Beatle-mania if The Beatles were hip, young, cool, and made witty remarks.

Let's not forget about our glamorous soon-to-be-First Lady either:

"Michelle Obama radiates a powerful style all her own. So step aside, Angelina. You too, Madonna, not to mention the bevy of pop tarts, gossip girls, High School Musical grads and even potential Oscar divas, now all suddenly second-tier," it says.

"The American fashion industry hasn't had a catch this big since, well, since another icon of Democratic chic took up residency on Pennsylvania Avenue in 1961."

Since another icon of Democratic chic took up residency on Pennsylvania Avenue in 1961? Oh baby, I'll be in my bunk.

I don't know much about fashion and I don't find Mrs. Obama to be all that compelling a figure. But I'll wager she could wear a potato sack to the inauguration and the fashionistas would proclaim it the very height of elegance. The pampered socialite who happened to marry into a wealthy, politically connected family referenced in the story was before my time. So beyond my lack of desire to, I can draw no comparisons other than: Jackie O, Michelle O. What else do you need?

Ah, but Obama's followers sometimes find him not feeling merciful but wrathful:

"OK, guys, come on," Obama said last Sunday, looking toward photographers clicking away as he warmed up before a round of golf. "How many shots do you need?"
They can never get enough. Ask LiLo or Paris or Brittney. And they're not even like the totally hot, super coolest, quasi-messianic most powerful man in the frickin' world. Birds suddenly appear every time you are near. Thank heavens for your statuesque perfectly-sculpted physique! America needs your broad, sinewy shoulders now more than ever.

I knew the media liked Obama. I didn't realize they like liked Obama. The tingle has quite clearly progressed up from the leg and is spreading to the nether regions.


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Comments (18)

The Obama Administration: ... (Below threshold)
Adrian Browne:

The Obama Administration: Camelot

The Bush Administration: Cameltoe

The media has been his whor... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

The media has been his whore since day one, what's changed?

It's gonna be a long 4 year... (Below threshold)
SATerp:

It's gonna be a long 4 years.....

Heh. Wait til they get over... (Below threshold)
irongrampa:

Heh. Wait til they get over this mild infatuation and REALLY fall in love with Him.

You could have made your po... (Below threshold)
JFO:

You could have made your point (well you could have said what you wanted since there was no point) in about 3 sentences. You're new at this but work on it will you?

Please pardon me while I pu... (Below threshold)
Alan:

Please pardon me while I puke. Are we going to have to put up with this crap for four years?

While presently nauseating ... (Below threshold)
Morrissimo:

While presently nauseating to the Nth degree, the media worship circus -- that fools few in "flyover country", mind you -- will spiral quickly and predictably into pitiful wild-eyed cries for mommy when the coming depression forces the Marginal Media Sycophant Squads into the realization that Mr. YesWeCan HopeyChange is just another in a long line of emperors-with-no-clothes.

Your investing advice for 2009: guns, ammo, arable land, and a network of trusted friends and family.

Am I looking at the same ma... (Below threshold)
martyredcars:

Am I looking at the same man? I mean, he's attractive, he's fit. But he's no The Rock. When someone starts talking about chiseled pectorals glinting in the sun, I expect a lot more.

"I'll be in my bunk."... (Below threshold)

"I'll be in my bunk."

Points for "Firefly" reference.

"I knew the media liked Obama. I didn't realize they like liked Obama."

That's just funny, I don't care who ya are.

World peace and understandi... (Below threshold)
bobdog:

World peace and understanding is gonna break out just about any minute now. I get this vision of Toontown from end of "Who Killed Roger Rabbit".

I'm gonna hurl.

Enjoy it while it lasts... ... (Below threshold)
John S:

Enjoy it while it lasts... Obama's housewarming gift will be an employment report that shows 1.2 million jobs evaporated in January. Then Israel will attack Iran. And his fanatical followers will discover he can't pay their mortgage or put gas in their car or even raise Che Chevara from the dead.

It goes downhill from there.

I hope the Black Jesus has a few miracles up his sleeve because he'll need them.

Oh wow. How did I miss the... (Below threshold)
martyredcars:

Oh wow. How did I miss the "Firefly" reference? Casts a whole new light on the post.

"Heh, heh. This is gonna be... (Below threshold)
Brad Schwartze:

"Heh, heh. This is gonna be a fun 8 years watching republican heads explode."

All I'm gonna say is that in the deep, dark bowels of the RNC, someone is on the phone trying to convince Sarah Palin to vacation in SoCal next summer. After all, we gotta get so pics of Sarah in her new bathing suit, doncha know.

And don't think for a moment this isn't happening, Baron. We're going to get our revenge for this in due course.

Enjoy it while it lasts.... (Below threshold)
Brian:

Enjoy it while it lasts... Obama's housewarming gift will be an employment report that shows 1.2 million jobs evaporated in January. Then Israel will attack Iran. And his fanatical followers will discover he can't pay their mortgage or put gas in their car or even raise Che Chevara from the dead.
It goes downhill from there.

You're right, that's probably exactly what Obama will inherit from Bush. The Bush legacy will continue to drag the country and the world downhill for a while. Good to know that the right is "enjoying" it.

Enjoying an economic downtu... (Below threshold)
hyperbolist:

Enjoying an economic downturn, and licking their lips at the thought of an open war between Israel and Iran.

I'm sorry, but if conservatives are comfortable saying things like this, and if the left are unpatriotic, then who the fuck cares what patriotism even means anymore?

To get serious for a minu... (Below threshold)
MF:

To get serious for a minute
O won and now they have a
house majority
hence the US will be doing better according to their promises
so what's all the squabbling about?
it's showtime starting in Jan!

"You're right, that's pr... (Below threshold)
John S:

"You're right, that's probably exactly what Obama will inherit from Bush."

Unfortunately, Mr. Hope and Change plans to continue the disasterous Paulsen/Bush economic policies except he plans to print 5 times the amount of dollars. Those $2 trillion budget deficits might bring economic recovery, but we won't notice it because we'll be dealing with 50 percent a month inflation.


We'll soon be looking wistfully back at the "Bush prosperity."

"I knew the media liked Oba... (Below threshold)
daniel rotter:

"I knew the media liked Obama."

The Fox "News" Channel is not part of the media?




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