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Ipecac for the Soul, Hollywood style



Celebrities vow to make world a better place now that Obama has ascended to White House; bulimics, Hollywood publicists hardest hit.

Ya know, I'm well aware that we conservatives are just a bunch of knuckle-dragging mouth breathers but this video leaves me perplexed. What has kept our intellectually and morally superior betters in Hollywood so preoccupied that only now are they pledging to make America a better place? Did festering Bush hatred drain their altruistic energy? Too busy having sex on piles of money surrounded by ostentatious opulence? Collectively curing America's foreign oil addiction by cold-fusing atoms with their minds?

These morons can kiss the hairiest part of my posterior. Millions of Americans with far less free time and wealth have been selflessly doing their part to help their fellow countrymen over the past eight years. They didn't just sit on their hands and bitch because they disagreed with President Bush. They weren't making self-aggrandizing videos flogging their commitment to making America a better place. They just looked around the neighborhood and decided to make a difference.

Maybe some folks just need the vacuous words of a heretofore unaccomplished man before their hidden desire to pledge empty, unquantifiable acts of unity can be revealed.

Here's my pledge now that the Earth is enjoying the cleansing, refreshing herbal colonic of an Obama presidency:

I pledge to continue living my life as I have over the past couple of decades. I will work. I will spend time with family and friends. I will hunt dove, quail, and ducks when they are in season. I will hold doors open for females. I will donate time and money to help those less fortunate. I will barbecue. And I will continue to view all politicians cynically while striving to insulate myself from their heavy-handed meddling.
Can Barack Obama inspire me to do anything I wouldn't do anyway? Other than stockpiling some firearms I'm relatively certain will be banned now that Democrats control Washington, no he can't. I might end up working more for less, but I won't be doing any more or less. I didn't celebrate when Bush took office and I'm not going to cry into my bacon and eggs now that Obama is in office. He may turn out to be a dandy president or he may turn out to be a dud, but for now Obama's just another politician.

But what would you expect from a misogynistic, greedy, uneducated, gun-toting, bible-thumping, queer-hating, racist, anti-science, Earth-murdering, neo-conservative fascist Republican? If only I were so brilliant and enlightened...


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Comments (24)

Baron,This is clas... (Below threshold)
BPG:

Baron,

This is classic: "Too busy having sex on piles of money surrounded by ostentatious opulence?"

Seriously, though, he's in, it's done. I'll give him a chance. For now.

I pledge to take the words ... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

I pledge to take the words of Hillary Clinton to heart:

"Dissent IS patriotic!"

That was good, Baron. You a... (Below threshold)
Bruce Henry:

That was good, Baron. You are the best writer at Wizbang, in my opinion. I almost NEVER agree with you, but you write well.

I pledge to laugh in the fa... (Below threshold)
J.R.:

I pledge to laugh in the face of all those who created this self-serving piece of drivel. However, I somehow doubt that I will get the chance to be admitted into their little cocoons.

So I pledge to drink from the water bottles Eva Mendes does not, to chop down Eva Longoria trees and use that other woman's plastic bags at the supermarket. It's just a start, I know I can do better.

God have mercy on us. They... (Below threshold)
LaMedusa:

God have mercy on us. They want my pledge? I pledge to call B.S. on every scam like this one, which is just another front for control. I also pledge to continue to use bottled water because our tap water and oceans are being poisoned by the ones behind this lame campaign. I also pledge to the one and only living God that I will expose the elites and their plan for the New World Order.

To be fair, most of these slebs really believe they are helping others. I pray it is not too late for them.

RE: "Pledging to make Ameri... (Below threshold)
kevino:

RE: "Pledging to make America a better place"

When did they do that? America as a country is hardly mentioned in the video at all. One person talks about representing the country with pride, but that's about it. (He can do that now.) Throughout this mess - and particularly at the end - these idiots pledge to serve President Obama and the people of the world.

The One is the symbol of hope for all mankind, and they pledge allegiance to Him. Of course, will they pay their fair share of taxes? I doubt it. And when he's gone, they'll pledge nothing.

The self-indulgent idiots asked, "What's my pledge?"

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

All I have to say in respon... (Below threshold)
Lorie Byrd:

All I have to say in response to this post is AMEN!

What's with this not flushi... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

What's with this not flushing business? Yuck!

"I pledge to continue livin... (Below threshold)

"I pledge to continue living my life as I have over the past couple of decades."

Mrs. President tells us that Obama needs you to do more. Sorry, this'll have to be CHANGEd, slacker.

"I will work."

I assume you mean 'for money', but maybe not. If so, this depends on whether or not your employer and potential employers will have incentive to still employ you. There are numerous reasons to believe this may not be true. And the new Labor head refuses to discuss with those confirming her whether or not she supports Right To Work, laws. Sorry, this might have to be CHANGEd, but I HOPE not.

"I will spend time with family and friends."

How exactly will you find time to do this when you have to increase your volunteerism for those that choose not to be as productive as selfish cynics like yourself? We will have to CHANGE your selfish attitude.

"I will hunt dove, quail, and ducks when they are in season."

Presumably you have a slingshot. That should be OK. Until meat eating is criminalized and/or hunting is banned and/or the doves, quails, and duckies are given legal rights and tax-payer-funded attorneys to sue you (note that these are all positions strenuously supported by Obama's 'regulations czar' who, of course, will not need to go through confirmation hearings). Might be some CHANGEs ahead on this one.

"I will hold doors open for females."

See you in court, sexist pig.

"I will donate time and money to help those less fortunate."

You can't even begin to imagine.

"I will barbecue."

Regulations pending review. This will possibly require CHANGE unless you've perfected zero emissions barbeque.

"And I will continue to view all politicians cynically while striving to insulate myself from their heavy-handed meddling."

I don't think you fully understand, Mr. Anderson. What you and other cynics "fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath (you) -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply."

Methinks that Jason Bateman... (Below threshold)
kbiel Author Profile Page:

Methinks that Jason Bateman was having some fun at the expense of Ashton and Demi. That was the only redeeming moment in the video.

I pledge, to never listen t... (Below threshold)
1903A3:

I pledge, to never listen to anything these morons have to say.jeez,give me a break. the only person I,ll ever be a servant to is my lord Jesus Christ,and my wife. :)

I have the sense that these... (Below threshold)
troglodyte Author Profile Page:

I have the sense that these plastic people expect me to know who they are without identifying themselves. Or perhaps they crave anonymity...

The line I thought was cute was the promise to "free 1 million people from slavery". Good luck with that, young lady. On the other hand, George Bush and the American soldier, at his command, freed tens of millions in the last few years. Has she thanked them for it? I don't know, but I can guess ...

I would have given Dakota F... (Below threshold)
bryanD:

I would have given Dakota Fanning the whole 4:00.

The first half sounded good... (Below threshold)
Red Five:

The first half sounded good, all very worthy endeavours for those with many resources available to them. Then it started to go downhill, with the rock-bottom moment being when Demi said she would pledge to serve her President. Um, the President is supposed to serve us, Mrs. Kutcher, just like everyone in Congress and anyone else in the government. You know, the whole "public servant" thing.

Serving the less fortunate around the world is an admirable goal. But we don't need President Messiah, or Mr. and Mrs. Kutcher, or the Arquettes, or anyone else to tell us how to do it, or worse, to force it upon us; most of us citizens are smart enough to handle it on our own.

Hollywood celebrities are d... (Below threshold)
Jay Guevara:

Hollywood celebrities are determined to do what they can to make the world a better place?

No! Don't do it! You have so much to live for!

Oh yeah?? Well, I pledge t... (Below threshold)
steve:

Oh yeah?? Well, I pledge to free TWO million slaves!

And I'm gonna smile more, too.

Not sure I can give up the middle finger - too many dumb $#!& drivers out there.

I heard where GEORGE CLOONE... (Below threshold)
Spurwing Plover:

I heard where GEORGE CLOONEY is doing a remake of ALFRED HITCHCOCKS classic movie THE BIRDS and knowing how these hollyweird wackos are into this rediculous green movement they use GLOBAL WARMING as why the birds are angry. WELL FRANKLY I HOPE SOME BIRD PECKS HIS EYES OUT OR SOME VIETNAM VET IS REINCARNATED AS A BIRD AND TAKE A BIG POOP RIGHT ON HIS HEAD
depp=true
noitz=My eyz! My eyz!

I'm personally waiting for ... (Below threshold)

I'm personally waiting for my Obama neighbors to come over, visit and offer to help me with some home repairs.

Anyway, I did like the pledge to be an American rather than a hyphenated American.

BPG, I'll give him a chance also, except when he tries to illegally place Hillary Clinton as Sec of State, or when his choice for Treas Sec doesn't pay his taxes until he is caught.

The line I thought was c... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

The line I thought was cute was the promise to "free 1 million people from slavery".

Where the f--- was she during the past 10 years when Darfur was enslaving Christians? Is she going to be the white Harriet Tubman, or something? Does she plan to run an Underground Railroad down Hollywood and Vine?

F---king idiots.

Please tell me who looks to... (Below threshold)
Dave Noble:

Please tell me who looks to Hollywood for inspiration?

Possibly the avid "24" fans, who believe that show is really about the War on Terror, and not a mindless revenge fantasy on par in realism with a first person shooter game.

Not that there aren't innumerable other examples, but this post and thread are salient evidence in support of an observation I am sure has been made more than once. Much of the function of political blogs (on both sides of the aisle) is not the dissemination of information or the exchange of ideas, but therapy. Blogs serve as a way for bloggers to vent their emotions.

Dave,Who knows how... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Dave,

Who knows how many people look to Hollywood for inspiration?

How many people buy People Magazine or the National Enquirer? Who watches E! or Inside Hollywood? How many people buy something because it's branded or used by a celebrity?

Either the folks who made that video feel like they have some influence over their audience or they're just engaging in a self-congratulatory circle jerk. Maybe they inspire and maybe they don't, but it isn't from a lack of celebrities trying.

Which was my point, why does it take the election of a Democrat to motivate the glitterati before they attempt use their celebrity to inspire the unwashed masses?

Regarding blogs, there aren't a lot of them that are dedicated to reporting hard news. Without an active reporting infrastructure we are relegated almost exclusively to writing opinion pieces. Opinion pieces are based on the author's beliefs - and most people tend to defend their beliefs with some degree of emotion.

I'm glad you take the time to visit Wizbang and express your opinions in the comments. Without readers and their comments this place would be pretty dull.

The most ridiculous line in... (Below threshold)

The most ridiculous line in this video: "I pledge to be a servant to Obama." INSANE! You know this is an Oprah production?
http://www.rightklik.net/

Frankly, I miss the Weekly ... (Below threshold)
JLawson:

Frankly, I miss the Weekly World News. Who would the Alien, Batboy and Bigfoot have endorsed, not to mention Ed Anger?

Baron,Thank you fo... (Below threshold)
Dave Noble:

Baron,

Thank you for your courtesy. I understand blogs cannot independently report news. Nonetheless, I often find substantive posts and interesting comments at Wizbang. That's why I am here.

My objection, and it is just that, my objection, is to red meat tossed out and then swallowed whole with a lot of growling. Your post may have been substantive, but the responses were by and large of the "yeah, we hate those morons, don't we?" variety.

An interesting discussion would be why creative people, a class into which some Hollywood celebrities fall, tend to be liberal. Do you ever wonder about that? And if so, as I suspect you do, what do you think?

Regarding the video in question, I admit from the outset that it's a bit on the cutesy side.
However, it's part of a larger phenomenon, which is the optimism that President Obama has been able to generate. His inaugural speech certainly wasn't a morning in America, come with me to the land of milk and honey, speech.
It was in fact very somber, calling America to join in the difficult tasks ahead for this country.

So whence the optimism, discounting the facile and ultimately arrogant explanation that America is suffering from mass hysteria, to which only the bloggers here at Wizbang and other conservative blogs are immune?




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