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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:


US President Barack Obama with TV host Jay Leno during a taping of 'The Tonight Show' in Burbank, California. In his first appearance on a US late night talk show since his election as president, Obama made a joke about his bowling prowess that fell flat, and may have insulted disabled people. (AFP/Mandel Ngan)


Last week's winners (contest link) and this week's winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (127)

Obama - "You know Jay, ther... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "You know Jay, there are 18 million Hillary voters who are tearing their hair out right about now"

Obama - "So you want to be ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "So you want to be on my cabinet? Got any tax troubles?"

Obama - "I thought it was q... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "I thought it was quite appropriate to come on a late night comedy show to explain my plan to save America"

A late night comic looks at... (Below threshold)
retired military:

A late night comic looks at one of the biggest jokes in history.

Obama - "hahahah I'm tellin... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "hahahah I'm telling you Jay, I got a trillion of them. Well three and a half trillion to be exact"

Jay, don't lean so far forw... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

Jay, don't lean so far forward. I can't see the teleprompter screen.

Obama: "I've upped the ethi... (Below threshold)

Obama: "I've upped the ethics standards for corporate America."
Leno: "So now, up yours."

Take my wife. Please.... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Take my wife. Please.

Obama: "So what will Americ... (Below threshold)

Obama: "So what will America think of my appearance here?"
Leno: "Nero comes to mind."

"No I haven't solved the ec... (Below threshold)

"No I haven't solved the economic crisis yet, but I did get my March Madness Bracket pinned down."

Whats in your wallet?... (Below threshold)

Whats in your wallet?

"Did you hear the one about... (Below threshold)
sarahconnor2:

"Did you hear the one about the intellectual lightweight, who had no executive experience, and was elected president?"

"We're also thinking of rai... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"We're also thinking of raising revenues by a windfall chin tax, Jay..."

J.

"Speaking of the Special Ol... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Speaking of the Special Olympics, Jay, think any of them have tax problems? 'Cuz I still have quite a few Cabinet slots to fill..."

J.

"Quite frankly, you'd think... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Quite frankly, you'd think the Special Olympics people would cut me a LITTLE slack. After all, I picked Biden for my running mate!"

J.

Oh, the huge vanity.... (Below threshold)

Oh, the huge vanity.

The dangers of working off ... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

The dangers of working off a Teleprompter: Obama delivered the "Hey, Jay, pull my finger!" line perfectly, but neglected to offer only a single digit for tugging.

J.

Obama "Man the miracles the... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama "Man the miracles they can do with modern technology. I dont know how those guys pulled off putting a miniteleprompter on your chin but I can read it perfectly."

Obama - "Jay, I absolutely ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "Jay, I absolutely think that Michelle's work out routine would do wonders for your chin"

"Well, Jay... I'd just like... (Below threshold)
Dos:

"Well, Jay... I'd just like to say, er uh, that I, uh, had my fingers crossed behind my back every time I talked about that, uh, you know, transparency thing."

Leno - "Is it true you dont... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "Is it true you dont go anywhere without your teleprompter?"

Obama - "Can you move your head to the right a little please, you are blocking my view"

I've always wanted to come ... (Below threshold)
Spike:

I've always wanted to come on the David Letterman show since....oh...I could read a teleprompter.

Just between you and me, Ja... (Below threshold)
Tom10000:

Just between you and me, Jay, Biden's not the dumbest one in this administration - at least he doesn't have to rely on a teleprompter like some of us.

Yeah, like the Special Olym... (Below threshold)
John:

Yeah, like the Special Olympics. And Jay, when I do get a strike, I run around shouting "Frank and beans! Frank and beans!"

Obama makes jokes at... (Below threshold)
Adrian Browne:


Obama makes jokes at the expense of retarded folks. Bush executes them.

"A deeper bow than that, Ja... (Below threshold)
jim2:

"A deeper bow than that, Jay. As Saint Pelosi saith: 'Elections have consequences'."

"The Unicorn Salesman"... (Below threshold)
tomg51:

"The Unicorn Salesman"

Leno: Mr. President serious... (Below threshold)
exceller:

Leno: Mr. President seriously, why did you decide to do The Tonight Show.

Obama: I thought it was the best way to speak directly to my base.

Leno: Your base sir?

Obama: Yes, morons.

Obama - "So then I thought,... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "So then I thought, well if Jimmy Carter can do it for 4 years why not me? Boy was I wrong"

Obama - "I am living proof ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "I am living proof that you can get 50 million people to vote for just about anything"


"You know Jay there are a l... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"You know Jay there are a lot of people in this country that dont think I can do this job"
Thought bubble
' and two of them are on this stage right now'

Leno - "So how can I get a ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "So how can I get a $5 million dollar bonus paid for by the taxpayers"

Obama - "Well a $100,000 check with my name on it is a good start"

Obama - "You you know, with... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "You you know, with a funny moustache and some glasses you and Barney Frank could be brothers"

Obama - "So I told Michelle... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "So I told Michelle 'With your arms and my pecs we can go places'"

If you pull my finger I far... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

If you pull my finger I fart rainbows and if you believe that I've got a trillion more.

"Jay, please help. I have n... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

"Jay, please help. I have no idea what I am doing." ww

No, Jay. Really. Pull my ... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

No, Jay. Really. Pull my finger.

C'mon, Jay, like anyone rea... (Below threshold)

C'mon, Jay, like anyone really cares about retatds. The little brats haven't given dime one to me, so eff them. What? The mic is on? Oh that wasn't me, it was a recording on this digital recorder I always carry with me in case if just such eventualities.

Bambi: And when I'm electe... (Below threshold)
Son of a Pig and a Monkey:

Bambi: And when I'm elected President, I will pass a law outlawing more than one car per person.

Jay: But you are President -and I have two hundred cars.

Bambi: I am? Then what am I doing on late-night TV? Oh, and about the cars thing, doesn't apply to "Friends of Obama". I'll pass a new law for that one.

Leno: "No really... your te... (Below threshold)

Leno: "No really... your teleprompter IS my next guest."

"Jay you may be the king of... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Jay you may be the king of late night but I am the Messiah"

Leno - "So what do you say ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "So what do you say when people call you Messiah"

Obama - "I'm listening"

Leno - "What do you say to ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "What do you say to people when they say you are trying to socialize America?"

Obama - "Shhhhh"

Leno - "what do you say whe... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "what do you say when people like Harry Reid tell you they dont work for you?"

Obama - "That slaves dont get paid"

"There was this one time at... (Below threshold)
Tango:

"There was this one time at band camp."

Those who can, do.... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

Those who can, do.

Those who can't, do talk shows.

"Take my Mdm. Speaker, Plea... (Below threshold)

"Take my Mdm. Speaker, Please."

...so a sand nigger and a j... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

...so a sand nigger and a jew walk into a bar...

Pull my finger.... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Pull my finger.

Jay, can you move your head... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Jay, can you move your head just a bit, I can't see the teleprompter.

Obama: "Yes, part of my pla... (Below threshold)

Obama: "Yes, part of my plan will affect how veterans will pay for their healthcare."
Leno: "Uh... Stupid Vet Tricks belong on Letterman."

Jay:With all due r... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Jay:

With all due respect Mr. President, I think you're in way over your head.

How DID you get elected?</p... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

How DID you get elected?

Leno - "Sorry for the delay... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "Sorry for the delay Mr President, my cue cards got dropped on the floor. Now for some questions"

" How are Michelle and the kids handling the transition to the White House"

Obama (reading Teleprompter) - "I'm doing great Jay"

Leno - "And umm how are you handling the job of President"

Obama (reading Teleprompter) - "Michelle and the kids love the White House"

Leno - "How long do you think the economic stimulus plan will take to work?"

Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "The full 8 years"

Leno - "How long do you plan to be President"

Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "About a year or so"

Leno - "What do you say to your critics like Rush Limbaugh"

Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "They love me"

Leno - "ummm How about your constituents"

Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "Sniveling cowards that dont deesrve the time of day"

Leno - "How long until we are out of Iraq completely?"

Obama (reading Teleprompter)- "hopefully not in our lifetime"

Leno "Do you think the govt in Iraq will fail?"

Obama (reading Teleprompter)- "I would give it another 2 years or so."


Thanks Jay, I just HAD to g... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Thanks Jay, I just HAD to get out of the house, the little woman is on a rampage these days.

So, there's going to be a c... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

So, there's going to be a change in my cabinet. Do you know any Democrats who can spell "Treasury" and are paid up on their taxes?

Obama: "So who does my Pres... (Below threshold)

Obama: "So who does my Presidency bring to mind?"
Leno: "Dan Quayle."

"I am the Special Ol... (Below threshold)
chsw:


"I am the Special Olympics President..."

"Talking to you is much easier than Putin..."

"Your new show can get bailout money."

chsw

Jay, next time I am on can ... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Jay, next time I am on can you get some of those animals from the zoo? Maybe one of them could pee on me - the folks will eat that up!

Leno - "So how does your fa... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "So how does your family like living in Washington Dc."

Obama - "Didnt my aides tell you, I will only answer approved questions"


Before coming over here to ... (Below threshold)
guido:

Before coming over here to do your show, Jay, I was a contestant on The Price Is Right. I overbid on the Showcase Showdown by just over $3 Trillion. They still gave me the prize at my insistence and after I pointed out that George Bush created this Showcase Showdown mess and that how unfair it would be to deny me something that I did not earn.

"Jay, has anyone ever told ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Jay, has anyone ever told you that your chin looks just like Barney Frank's butt?"

Obama - "Jay, Here's a joke... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "Jay, Here's a joke. What is the difference between Chris Dodd and a little, albeit tiny bit of pork?"

Leno - "I dont know"

Obama - "the size"

Jay, you can't imagine it. ... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Jay, you can't imagine it. There are people in and out of my office all day long, and every one of them expects me to make decisions! Like I am supposed to know what to do! I just had to get out of there for a couple of days.

Jay, when we come back from... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Jay, when we come back from the break, ask me about bowling - I have been working all day on a couple of zingers......

"So, a Priest, a Rabbi and ... (Below threshold)
Marie:

"So, a Priest, a Rabbi and a Retard walk into a bar..."

Can you keep a secret Jay? ... (Below threshold)

Can you keep a secret Jay? I really am Muslim, I wasn't born in the USA, I am the anti- Christ, but guess what? The Liberals want to appear progressive and not racist, so they won't let anyone call me on these things.

"Ain't life grand?"

Obama: "Now, Jay, le-le-le-... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:

Obama: "Now, Jay, le-le-le-le-le-let, um, let me be straight with ya..."

Leno: "Say, that really would be a change!"

Giant chin and giant asshol... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Giant chin and giant asshole meet face to face.

...and Jay ya know Bowling ... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

...and Jay ya know Bowling is not the only thing that makes me feel that way, this Economics stuff - yikes!

When E.F. Hutton talks........ (Below threshold)
tomg51:

When E.F. Hutton talks.....

Say, whatever happened to them?

"President Obama, thank you... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

"President Obama, thank you for taking time out of your schedule to come talk with us today. Everybody give it up for President Obama...uh...ummmm...I think I'm reading your lines, Jay."

Obama defends the Media's s... (Below threshold)

Obama defends the Media's sycophantic "reporting" of him as just the Presidential equivalent of a Sit-Com Laugh-Track..."hey it's all about making people feel good!"

Obama"Jay, hypothetically, ... (Below threshold)
braininahat:

Obama"Jay, hypothetically, say I was gonna confiscate one of your cars, which one would you confiscate it you were me?"

Of course Jay! Keep... (Below threshold)
joe:


Of course Jay! Keep driving the Hummer! That hybrid talk is meant for the suckers. Like your audience.

Compared to your White Hous... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Compared to your White House Transition, the special olympics looks like a MENSA rally.

Leno: "What have you learn... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Leno: "What have you learned in your first days in office?"

Obama: "Because I'm so good at it, I've decided that I prefer campaigning over actually governing."

One guy makes us laugh unti... (Below threshold)
JB:

One guy makes us laugh until we cry.

The other guy is Jay Leno.

Atlas changes the channel.<... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Atlas changes the channel.

"I got one for ya - a fag, ... (Below threshold)
mojo:

"I got one for ya - a fag, a retard and an Irishman walk into a bar..."

Don't quit your day job, Mr... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Don't quit your day job, Mr. President.

On second thought...

Obama: "Ya see, the economy... (Below threshold)

Obama: "Ya see, the economy really is fundamentally strong."

Leno: "So what's your real ... (Below threshold)

Leno: "So what's your real secret?"
Obama: "...uh.. never go full retard."

Leno playing the Great Karn... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno playing the Great Karnak

"Answer - Maybe his shoulders were tired"

Question - "What does President Obama think of Atlas Shrugged"

Leno - "So do you think peo... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - "So do you think people have their expectations too high as fas you handling the economic crisis swiftly?"

Obama - "Jay, I have only been President for 2 months, people should at least give me a chance to get a cabinet picked out, then we can start dealing with things left over from last year's business."

Jay, here's the deal. I gon... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Jay, here's the deal. I gonna rob you blind. By the time my administration is through with you, there'll be no mansions, there'll be no fancy cars. I going to take every dollar you have and give it to welfare queens, illegal aliens and muslim outreach organizations.

And here's the amazing thing. You VOTED FOR ME!

Jay, have you ever heard the phrase "useful idiot"?

So whatta ya think Jay, in ... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

So whatta ya think Jay, in the spirit of 'shared patriotism', we all start calling one another "comrade". Neat, huh?

Running America isn't so to... (Below threshold)

Running America isn't so tough. You just do what the teleprompter says.

No matter what coach K say'... (Below threshold)
bigbugna:

No matter what coach K say's, Duke will not make it past the second round.

Jay, I just flew in from Wa... (Below threshold)
guido:

Jay, I just flew in from Washington and, boy, are Chris Matthews's arms tired.

Here we have a comedian sit... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Here we have a comedian sitting next to Jay Leno.

I had a very nice flight ou... (Below threshold)
guido:

I had a very nice flight out here, Jay. Unlike Nancy Pelosi, I have no trouble getting a ride from the US Air Force.

Leno - So President Obama w... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Leno - So President Obama what was the first thing you thought of when you heard that the UN wants to impose a $750 billion tax on oil?"

Obama - "Why didnt I think of that"

~Hes the teleprompter wizar... (Below threshold)
914:

~Hes the teleprompter wizard there has to be a trick

A teleprompter wizards got such a supple wrist~

Jay: "Mr. President, you ca... (Below threshold)
Weegie:

Jay: "Mr. President, you can stop campaigning now and simply govern."

Big O: "No, Jay, you don't understand. The teleprompter won't let me!"

Leno: "Gotta minute? ... Te... (Below threshold)

Leno: "Gotta minute? ... Tell me everything you know."

Is the mike off? Seriously... (Below threshold)
a. moral:

Is the mike off? Seriously Jay, I don't have a freakin' clue what doing.

"I wanted to be on Letterma... (Below threshold)
Kathy:

"I wanted to be on Letterman, it's all Bush's fault I ended up here."

"Your chin, Leno, that was Bush's fault, too."

"And the DVDs to Gordon Brown, Bush did it."

You think that's funny? Wai... (Below threshold)
CZ:

You think that's funny? Wait till you see my carbon on your car collection.

Naivete and a guy named Jay... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Naivete and a guy named Jay.

Obama: Im sorry Jay, but al... (Below threshold)
914:

Obama: Im sorry Jay, but all those special olmypic comedy competitions are going to be taxed at 85% to make up for the AIG bonuses that Me and My colleagues supported.

Alex Haley could not be rea... (Below threshold)
914:

Alex Haley could not be reached for comment

Pull my finger. Trust me, i... (Below threshold)
kbiel Author Profile Page:

Pull my finger. Trust me, it smells like roses.

Chariots of unteleprompted ... (Below threshold)
914:

Chariots of unteleprompted fire

"....so, we've got this in ... (Below threshold)

"....so, we've got this in the Cabinet named Mongo...or, as you know him, Joe Biden..."

...so this retarded Jew wal... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

...so this retarded Jew walks into a bowling alley...

"Actually Jay,just between ... (Below threshold)
Just Plain Bill:

"Actually Jay,just between you and me, I don't have a clue as to what I am doing".

Jay...pinch Me when its ove... (Below threshold)
914:

Jay...pinch Me when its over

"I do have a good one, Jay.... (Below threshold)
Spike:

"I do have a good one, Jay. Did you hear the one about the person who voted for 'Hope' and 'Change'?"

What I meant to say Jay was... (Below threshold)
914:

What I meant to say Jay was even that Corky kid from life goes on could run the Country better than Me.

Adrian sez: Obama makes ... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Adrian sez: Obama makes jokes at the expense of retarded folks. Bush executes them.

Funny, I thought that was Clinton who rushed back to Arkansas so he could oversee the execution of a "retarded" inmate - to bolster his tough-on-crime credential.

"Actually, Jay, you are my ... (Below threshold)
Spike:

"Actually, Jay, you are my second favorite comedian; Karl Marx is my favorite."

Jay Leno: Mr. President, yo... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Jay Leno: Mr. President, you cannot believe how many idiots cannot answer this "Man on the Street" question; "How many states are there in the United States?" Would you like to take a shot at it?

President Obama: "Uh, 57? Not including Alaska and Hawaii."

I bet Obama would have acce... (Below threshold)
914:

I bet Obama would have accelled in the special olympics.

"So, I said to him, 'Gunga ... (Below threshold)
Spike:

"So, I said to him, 'Gunga Galunga', and told him that 'on his deathbed, he will receive total consciousness.' So, he's got that goin' for him."

Obama's theme music:<... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Obama's theme music:


Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five percent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman

(If you drive a car car) I'll tax the street
(If you try to sit sit) I'll tax your seat
(If you get too cold cold) I'll tax the heat
(If you take a walk walk) I'll tax your feet

Taxman!

Chauncey Gardner appears fo... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Chauncey Gardner appears for the second time on the Tonight Show and reassures that "all will be well, in the garden".

Wii fitness age of 110 asid... (Below threshold)
914:

Wii fitness age of 110 aside,Its glad to know Hes got His priorities right...Gambling on basketball and joking at the exspense of the defenseless.. Man I knew a community organizer had to have something on the ball.

#52How DID you get... (Below threshold)
914:

#52

How DID you get elected?

Divine intervention

Leno: "Well then... who has... (Below threshold)

Leno: "Well then... who has been your biggest source of inspiration. Rev. Wright? Martin Luther King, Jr.? Malcom X?..."
Pres'ent 'Bama: "Actually it's been Cleavon Little."

Oh, it's that other funny p... (Below threshold)
Paul Hooson:

Oh, it's that other funny photo contest. Oh, oh.

Lean a little closer, Jay! ... (Below threshold)

Lean a little closer, Jay! I can't reach your wallet!

Doood .... I'm President!?<... (Below threshold)
Elmo:

Doood .... I'm President!?

Three retards go into a bar... (Below threshold)
Elmo:

Three retards go into a bar ....

" If You Say Stimulus Three... (Below threshold)

" If You Say Stimulus Three Times Real Fast, It Sounds Like A Runaway Train."

After you welcomed yourself... (Below threshold)
fustian:

After you welcomed yourself to the White House, tried to enter the Oval Office through a window, and selected Joe Biden to be Vice President, many are suspecting that you might qualify as a Special Olympian already.

That is, if you can improve your bowling score.

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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