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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:


Vice President Joe Biden, center, talks with Navy sailor Ken Englehart, right, as they watch a demonstration of a Talon robot during a visit to the Naval Amphibious Base Coronado in Coronado, Calif. Thursday, May 14, 2009. The robot is used to dismantle explosive devices.


Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (129)

Having watched Nancy Pelosi... (Below threshold)
epador:

Having watched Nancy Pelosi soot herself repeatedly, and know Osama's body lies mouldering in the caves, our quintessential soldier attempts to restrain himself from strangling the VP. He knows how that robot is programmed, and any second now Biden will experience a transrectal linguectomy.

[I need caffeine!!!] Shoo... (Below threshold)
epador:

[I need caffeine!!!] Shoot and knowing Arrrrgh.

The latest Hope/Change tool... (Below threshold)
GianiD:

The latest Hope/Change tool from Fauxbama, Inc helps locate Dem's heads, firmly buried 2-3 feet up their rectum. Video evidence is available.

My dog is smarter than your... (Below threshold)
JAT:

My dog is smarter than your robot soldier!

"Is there a chance of light... (Below threshold)

"Is there a chance of lightning today? I liked Johnny Five. He was cute. Think that might happen today?"

Perfect, we'll take 325 mil... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Perfect, we'll take 325 million of these, we aim to stick it to everyone.

Can you add a teleprompter ... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Can you add a teleprompter to this for the Big Guy? I think he's going to need it defending Pelosi.

NIce, put it in the trunk, ... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

NIce, put it in the trunk, I want to take it home for the Mrs. wink wink.

Yes VP Biden, this is the n... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

Yes VP Biden, this is the new tank we got because of the budget cuts.

Robotic anal probe with fla... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Robotic anal probe with flashlight now to be used by IRS.

Mmmm. Can an arm like that... (Below threshold)
SCSIwuzzy:

Mmmm. Can an arm like that remove my foot from my mouth? It gets stuck in there sometimes. Really? Good. Now what about the boss.. he's had his head stuck up his...

Enema of the State.... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Enema of the State.

Because of his reputation a... (Below threshold)
Rick13:

Because of his reputation as a "tight-ass", Vice President Joe Biden will have his annual medical exam conducted by a Naval bomb removal team.

Biden: Never mind the terro... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Biden: Never mind the terrorists, will this work against our own people?

"So you say the enemy is re... (Below threshold)
engineer:

"So you say the enemy is really going to hate this thing? They'll probably call it a four letter word, R-O-B-O-T"

My set of Leggos is better ... (Below threshold)

My set of Leggos is better than that,I can make an aircraft carrier

You know, I built one of th... (Below threshold)
Tim:

You know, I built one of these back when I was the first one in my family to go to college. I mean, I did have the highest IQ of anyone elses there.

In response to his frequent... (Below threshold)
iurockhead:

In response to his frequent verbal miscues, VP Joe Biden had the military, at the behest of the president, develop an all-terrain field-grade teleprompter. The self-actuating taser, which is intended to deploy when Biden gets "off,", is still under development.

There's an app for that...<... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

There's an app for that...

Biden: I forbid it's use ag... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Biden: I forbid it's use against any gay minority.

Soldier: But the homosexuals like it, sir.

No disassemble Number Five!... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

No disassemble Number Five!

Now the President has that ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Now the President has that stupid dog that brings him scotch. Can this thing be programmed to bring me scotch?

But can it wipe my ass, ha,... (Below threshold)
SideShowJane:

But can it wipe my ass, ha, just kidding. I bet the parent comapany is incorporated in Delaware. So, where did you say you were from (grabs elbow, makes eye contact)? Ok, now, who wants a picture with the Veep?

In an effort to avoid crowd... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

In an effort to avoid crowded areas where Swine Flu may be acquired, Vice President Biden will be using this Talon Robot to transport his lunch from the office cafeteria.

Could this thing help Chuck... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Could this thing help Chuck stand up?

Sure, sailor, we can use th... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

Sure, sailor, we can use this robot to dismantle bombs, but only as long as it doesn't replace any union workers.

Biden: "You mean I can real... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

Biden: "You mean I can really take this army Segway for a spin? On the capabilities demonstration course? It doesn't take someone as brilliant as me to see what a great offer that is. Thanks!"

Soldier thinking while twid... (Below threshold)
pibill:

Soldier thinking while twiddling thumbs--"Again,just why in hell did I re-up?"

OK, one more time..what doe... (Below threshold)
geo Author Profile Page:

OK, one more time..what does this thing do?

I'll take a thousand. We ca... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I'll take a thousand. We can retool them to build Chrysler automobiles.

"You may not believe this, ... (Below threshold)
Spike:

"You may not believe this, soldier, but I actually invented this magnificent machine to replace guys named 'Prakash' working at Seven Elevens and Dunkin' Donuts."

Vice President Joe Biden in... (Below threshold)
Eric:

Vice President Joe Biden inducts the latest member G/Sgt Number Five into the Biden Brigade, of Iraqi Vets Against War who never actually served in the military.

Biden: So what do we have h... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Biden: So what do we have here, some kind of lawnmower?

Soldier: No Sir, Mr. Vice President, this the latest Unmanned...

Biden: Unmanned huh, sort of like 7up - the UN-cola right?

Soldier: Well Mr Vice President, I am not sure about...

Biden: What do you think about this hat, pretty sweet huh?

Soldier: Yes Sir Mr Vice President..

Biden: Did I ever tell you about the time I told Dubya that he should turn around and look cause no one was following?

Soldier: No, but you might want to take a look in the rear view mirror yourself...

Jo'Biden: "Barack Obama and... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Jo'Biden: "Barack Obama and Joe Biden are going to pay for the college education of these things, if they qualify".

"Where does the rubber glov... (Below threshold)
Tango:

"Where does the rubber glove go?"

Hey, uh, don't look now, bu... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Hey, uh, don't look now, but I think that one standing right behind me is a chick....

If this thing can pick up a... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

If this thing can pick up all of the dog crap of the White House Lawn, what the heck I am I supposed to do all day?

VP: Binden inspects the new... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:

VP: Binden inspects the new generation of assault tanks that the Obama Defense Department has contracted with Obama/Chrystler/GM/UAW Motors to build for only $999,999.99 each.

Biden said, "Sure they're not quite as safe as the old models but they cost less and we need that money to pay for votes and bail out our campagn staffers at the major papers and broadcast networks--- Oh my God what am I talking about?"

"Did you tell everyone here... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

"Did you tell everyone here that I am the smartest man in the room?" ww

"Yeah, I remember fighting ... (Below threshold)
zipity:

"Yeah, I remember fighting against these robots back in 'Nam. Me and John Connor, against these relentless, unfeeling robots. Thank God we finally took out SkyNet."

Soldier: The alarm you hear... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Soldier: The alarm you hear, sir, is its "CPBS".
Biden: What the *#%$ is a "CPBS"?
Soldier: A "Close Proximity Bullsh*t Sensor", sir. It went off when you walked up.

It can do almost anything, ... (Below threshold)
Spike:

It can do almost anything, Mr. Biden, except keep a fool from saying foolish things.

Know your Enema... (Below threshold)

Know your Enema

Keep you friends close... y... (Below threshold)

Keep you friends close... your enemas closer.

It's the new uparmored tele... (Below threshold)

It's the new uparmored telepromtomatic 2000, in case Obama visits.

VP Biden: "I didn... (Below threshold)

VP Biden: "I didn't know the Boy Scouts had this kind of firepower"
Soldier: "We're the ARMY, sir"
VP Biden: "So you're Dick Armey's kid...I served with Dick for many years in Congress"
Soldier: "Sir, if you could step around to the front, I'll show you how it operates..."

"No No Miss California lost... (Below threshold)

"No No Miss California lost 'cause she didn't think Perez Hilton should marry one of these..."

You know how the adults tal... (Below threshold)
dave:

You know how the adults talk in Charlie Brown cartoons...

"So I set Dean Kamen down w... (Below threshold)

"So I set Dean Kamen down with Rumsfeld and told 'em who to make one of these suckers, Yep if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have these to ride around on."

........25. I could ... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

........
25. I could shoot him
26. I could crush his larnyx.
27. I could snap his neck.
28. I could use my bayonet
29. I could suffocate him
........

Reminds me of 1914 watching... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Reminds me of 1914 watching FDR go on YouTube to unveil the first generation of these robot soldiers.

Here is the new scooter you... (Below threshold)
Marie:

Here is the new scooter you ordered Mr. Vice President. Don't forget to wear your helmet.

How's this soldier, we run ... (Below threshold)
Anon Y. Mous:

How's this soldier, we run this by the gang over at sexmachine.com and I'll cut you in for half the profits?

Remember son, I was not<... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Remember son, I was not briefed on this, understand?

One of these is a cold, sou... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

One of these is a cold, soulless automaton; its behavior strictly governed by its programming; member of a group which may someday rise up to enslave all of mankind.

The other's a robot.

I drove a tank like that at... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

I drove a tank like that at Bastonge. Killed a lot of Japs before I ran out of bullets.

No, really, the President r... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

No, really, the President relies on my advice. I'm not kidding, I'm one of the President's closest military advisors. Seriously, I'm always sitting in on key meetings with the President. I talk to the President every day about great big important issues. Really . . .

"Wow.. with this baby dead ... (Below threshold)
Buckhunter:

"Wow.. with this baby dead people won't have to vote for us anymore.."

"Look, I know these a... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

"Look, I know these aren't the tanks you said you needed, but it was cut back here or cut back on Air Force One fly-by's in New York ..."

If it's true you named this... (Below threshold)
twolaneflash:

If it's true you named this thing "PLUGS", I'm going to have your ass, soldier. What do you think I'm hiding under this stupid hat?

President Barack Obama send... (Below threshold)
Heralder:

President Barack Obama sends Vice President Joe Biden to contract and test his new teleprompter, TP-209, which actually has a claw to reach up and move the President's jaw to match with the words being displayed.

White House press Secretary Robert Gibbs has reportedly filed a request to add an additonal arm that will confiscate cell phones.

......"Son, would you take ... (Below threshold)
Jack Lind:

......"Son, would you take a minute and show me how to ride this Segway here?"

Does this thing dispense di... (Below threshold)
CDR M:

Does this thing dispense dijon mustard? You know, for us average Joe hamburger eaters.

Is this Muslim friendly?</p... (Below threshold)
CDR M:

Is this Muslim friendly?

"You mean this is the Dukak... (Below threshold)
Brad:

"You mean this is the Dukakis Tank? Wow, he was more than just a mental midget!"

"Now soldier, I know about ... (Below threshold)
SILVER BULLET:

"Now soldier, I know about the shrinking dollar but a shrunken tank!...Now really!"

"I hear the Secretary of St... (Below threshold)

"I hear the Secretary of State used one of these to shave her legs, and wrecked'em."

"We outsourced all the labo... (Below threshold)

"We outsourced all the labor to India for these puppies, so you know the quality is top notch."

So..., you guys used this i... (Below threshold)
BluesHarper:

So..., you guys used this in Nam?

Biden: Just so we're clear ... (Below threshold)
jpo:

Biden: Just so we're clear this is not be used to slaugther innocent women and children. O.K.?

Soldier Thought Bubble: Well, you're not a woman, child, or innocent you dumb f***, so....

This is what the CIA wants ... (Below threshold)
jpo:

This is what the CIA wants to use to replace waterboarding? It's much more effective? And it goes where? O.K., so if anyone asks, I was never informed of this nor provided the opportunity to register my opinion/protest.

"Frankly, I don't know how ... (Below threshold)

"Frankly, I don't know how it would look in
'I ❤ NY' underware."

"Well son, not harm was don... (Below threshold)

"Well son, not harm was done, I'll talk to the Colonel and see he'll just drop the charges to -- just following too close"

"I had one of these when I ... (Below threshold)

"I had one of these when I was younger, son, so don't tell me what they can and cannot do! Now, how come the clowns aren't coming out?"

"I appreciate the hat, son,... (Below threshold)
LaMedusa:

"I appreciate the hat, son, but Project Joystick was supposed to come with a manual, too. We can't have fun if we don't know how to work the damn thing!"

Ya know son, the Jetsons ha... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Ya know son, the Jetsons had lots of robots, Oh and those guys on Lost in Space, always liked that show, "Danger Will Robinson" - remember that soldier? Darn handy Robot to have around if you ask me. That was a show by golly. I want Nasa to land an astronaut on Jupiter, maybe we should send a robot with them. Hey thats a great idea if I do say so myself, I'm going to talk to the Big Guy about that.....

Okay, where is the seat for... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Okay, where is the seat for my GI Joe?

"How do you fit inside that... (Below threshold)
Master Shake:

"How do you fit inside that tank?"

Soldier: "No sir. That's ... (Below threshold)
JB:

Soldier: "No sir. That's just a myth about the black man. We named it 'The Obama' because of his big ego."

"So then Pelosi said it was... (Below threshold)

"So then Pelosi said it was OK to have this as long as you actually didn't use it?"

Joe: "So then when ran this... (Below threshold)

Joe: "So then when ran this up behind Ted Kennedy too fast...and waggled the barrel... well it was the most animated we'd seen him in a long."

Joe: "So then when ran this... (Below threshold)

Joe: "So then when ran this up behind Ted Kennedy too fast...and waggled the barrel... well it was the most animated we'd seen him in a long time."

(corrected)

Biden: "I'll take it but y... (Below threshold)
JB:

Biden: "I'll take it but you need to throw in a helmet and some of those cool decals."

Can I be in the movie? I no... (Below threshold)

Can I be in the movie? I now all the words to "Who is Johnny."

Michael Dukakis I love You<... (Below threshold)
914:

Michael Dukakis I love You

I'll take this one 'cause I... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

I'll take this one 'cause I have reason to believe Speaker Pelosi will soon be looking for a new job and may set her sights on mine.

I didn't quite catch what t... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

I didn't quite catch what the Admiral said to me.....something about the scrambled eggs on my cap or did he say on my shirt?

"Hey, kid, did you hear abo... (Below threshold)
LaMedusa:

"Hey, kid, did you hear about the army psychiatrist and proctologist who shared office space? They put up a sign that read, Specializing in Odd Ends and Weak Ends."

You know...I saw one of the... (Below threshold)

You know...I saw one of these in a movie recently...you know the one I'm talking about? With the French Maid and the Sailor?

"Domo arigato Mr. Roboto." ... (Below threshold)

"Domo arigato Mr. Roboto." Remember that? Huh, do ya? I bet you sing when this is done with ya. Do you sing? Sing like Adam Lambert? Don't leave now.

Son, listen up. I am not Di... (Below threshold)
Michelle:

Son, listen up. I am not Dick Cheney, but I might shoot you in the face anyway.

Well that's just great son,... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Well that's just great son, but how do you expect to hunt all them swine with flu with just this one tank-thingamajig? I remember I once spoke a fella about putting treads on a robot. They made a TV series out of it. Tracked robot going around screaming "Danger! Danger" and now they built this thing I invented. They ought to call it the Biden. I'm brilliant I tell ya. Where's the bathroom?

This new down-sized Chrysle... (Below threshold)
Ken in Camarillo:

This new down-sized Chrysler product is da bomb!
And the government is standing behind the warranty!

Can you strap a chair onto ... (Below threshold)
Modo:

Can you strap a chair onto that thing? I still owe Chuck Graham an apology.

Biden - So this is our new ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Biden - So this is our new robot. Why doesnt it have breasts and great hair like that Japanese one?

So let me get this straight... (Below threshold)
tim mcfall:

So let me get this straight, I can use this thing instead of the train to get to work and back and that laser thingy on front will zap any swine flu bug that comes near me?

Biden - "Hey when the war i... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Biden - "Hey when the war is over we can always convert these to scooters for AARP"

RoboBiden!... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

RoboBiden!

Biden - " ROBOT?? I though... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Biden - " ROBOT?? I thought this was the anal probe that Pelosi keeps talking about"

Sit and spin Mr. Biden. Sit... (Below threshold)
914:

Sit and spin Mr. Biden. Sit and spin.

"You know son...before Al G... (Below threshold)
vader06:

"You know son...before Al Gore invented the Internet...I invented this thingamajig..."

Son, Obama has ordered 50,0... (Below threshold)

Son, Obama has ordered 50,000 of these thingies for his new Afghanistan surge.

Soldier: "I'm sorry, Mr. Vi... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Soldier: "I'm sorry, Mr. Vice-President. The robot can defuse bombs, but it can't defuse the stupid statements that come out of your mouth."

Did you know, sailor, that ... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Did you know, sailor, that I wrote a term paper on the development of these babies back in my freshman year?

"As long as this doesn't tu... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

"As long as this doesn't turn into a Michael Dukakis tank moment for me, I'm cool with it."

"It must be broken. I told ... (Below threshold)
sarahconnor2:

"It must be broken. I told it to point to the smartest person in the room."
"Whatever you say, sir."

So this thing will oblitera... (Below threshold)
Mick:

So this thing will obliterate anyone with flu symptoms in a 10 foot radius of anyone in my family?

I've ridden a Segway before... (Below threshold)
Robert L:

I've ridden a Segway before, no problem.

Or,

Where's the other one for my left foot?

No, sir, it's not designed ... (Below threshold)
Spike:

No, sir, it's not designed to serve subpoenas; it's designed to kill people and break things.

Well, Pelosi's radioactive,... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Well, Pelosi's radioactive, can we use this thing on her?

Look at me when I'm talking... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Look at me when I'm talking to you soldier. I'm your Vice Commander in Chief!

Nice equipment soldier, but... (Below threshold)
RicardoVerde:

Nice equipment soldier, but can you make it give me back my tie?

And this environmentally fr... (Below threshold)
fustian:

And this environmentally friendly tank is part of our master plan to create the world's first green military.

It's called the "Biden Figh... (Below threshold)
fustian:

It's called the "Biden Fighting Vehicle"...

Because?

Well, it's very light on the top.

I never have the first idea... (Below threshold)

I never have the first idea for these but this time it just popped into my head...

"Cheney never had one that size. I'll take it."

... because it's waaaaay past my bed time.

"Well I fancy I'm pretty go... (Below threshold)

"Well I fancy I'm pretty good at this Army jargon, so just what does this OMGWTFBBQ unit you were telling me about do anyway?"

Joe: "Sometime son, I amaze... (Below threshold)

Joe: "Sometime son, I amaze even myself."

"Wun't a stick just be bett... (Below threshold)

"Wun't a stick just be better for getting the marshmallows close to the fire""

Im sorry Mr. Biden, the Tal... (Below threshold)
914:

Im sorry Mr. Biden, the Talons sensitivity setting was accidentally changed to "gaff detector mode" and hit on You immediately.

Biden - "So last week when ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Biden - "So last week when you showed this to Ms Pelosi you said you have a slight mishap"

Soldier - "Yes Sir."

Biden - "Well dont let it bother you son, her face looked like that before your little accident".

That's all well and good, s... (Below threshold)
William d'Inger:

That's all well and good, soldier, but you still have to remove the "Made in Canada" sticker.

The Pentagon unveils the KY... (Below threshold)
Mike G in Corvallis:

The Pentagon unveils the KY-20 Assault Skateboard.

Biden - "So tell me again w... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Biden - "So tell me again where the seat is son"

Soldier - "The black pole in the rear sir"

Biden "not in the front but in the rear"?

Soldier - "That's the idea sir"

"You know son, I think that... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

"You know son, I think that if I stick this in my mouth, it might taste better than my foot!?"

Don't tell that Navy guy st... (Below threshold)
Son of a Pig and a Monkey:

Don't tell that Navy guy standing behind me, but I need a new super-sekrit bunker. Does the army have anything it can show me?

Biden: I wonder if Chuck co... (Below threshold)
DB:

Biden: I wonder if Chuck could use one of these.

But seriously, if you were ... (Below threshold)
Son of a Pig and a Monkey:

But seriously, if you were in an elevator with me, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, and had a full magazine, what would you do?

"I'm just glad you knew the... (Below threshold)

"I'm just glad you knew the Heimlich maneuver, son."

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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