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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:


Santa Claus to fly on Beechcraft Premier IA - the world's largest, fastest single-pilot business jet - to spread holiday cheer to military families. (PRNewsFoto/Hawker Beechcraft Corporation)


Winners will be announced Monday morning.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (104)

"Tiger Woods gift? A one-ir... (Below threshold)

"Tiger Woods gift? A one-iron for Elin... Nobody can hit anything with a one-iron."

Q: What's the difference be... (Below threshold)

Q: What's the difference between Santa and Tiger?
A: Santa stopped after three Ho's

Santa returned from HopenHa... (Below threshold)
JLawson:

Santa returned from HopenHagen with a bagful of coal - and was promptly tackled by EPA Agents for transport of dangerous substances.

"Sully's the pilot, in case... (Below threshold)

"Sully's the pilot, in case Comet gets sucked into a jet engine again."

And it's TARP money for all... (Below threshold)
fustian:

And it's TARP money for all the good boys and girls on Wall Street...

Treasury Secretary Timoth G... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

Treasury Secretary Timoth Geithner prepares to deliver the remaining TARP funds.

Santa, all I want for Chris... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Santa, all I want for Christmas is lots more conservatives in both houses of Congress.

Turns out the carbon footpr... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Turns out the carbon footprint of a business jet is much less than a bunch of farting reindeer.

Obama's new non-denominatio... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Obama's new non-denominational Holiday Czar.

Once the news gets out to l... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Once the news gets out to liberal congressmen, this will be the last time Santa will fly to Washington, D.C. appear before a Congressional committee.

DRUDGEBREAKING: Southwest A... (Below threshold)

DRUDGEBREAKING: Southwest Airlines announced their plans to restructure under Chapter 11, after their Bags Fly Free campaign produced unintended consequences.

Geithner, anything in there... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Geithner, anything in there for American tax payers?

I didn't think so...

Santa heads off to deliver ... (Below threshold)
sarahconnor2:

Santa heads off to deliver a bag of clues to Washington D.C.

Tiger: "Take my name off yo... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Tiger: "Take my name off your list".

Minutes later, just after t... (Below threshold)
Upset Old Guy:

Minutes later, just after the Santa Express lifted off from runway 12R, Al Gore is alleged to have launched the stinger missile that destroyed the aircraft and killed all aboard. Gore was later found on airport property babbling to himself about, "the carbon footprint".

The Salahi's are hoping thi... (Below threshold)
fustian:

The Salahi's are hoping this will get them into the White House Christmas party.

Another job saved!... (Below threshold)
Joe:

Another job saved!

I see Soros is making his y... (Below threshold)
fustian:

I see Soros is making his yearly visit to Democrats on Capitol Hill.

Well, I think we know which... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Well, I think we know which golfer is getting lumps of coal this year...

Santa poses before making a... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Santa poses before making a special pre-Christmas delivery of CRU emails to an undisclosed server farm location in Russia.

Look at that red coat. Look... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Look at that red coat. Looks like Santa's going rogue!

As part of his heavy crackd... (Below threshold)
fustian:

As part of his heavy crackdown on the financial sector, Obama has named a new Wall Street Czar...a Mr. Nicholas.

Santa boarding the "Stimulu... (Below threshold)
Strick:

Santa boarding the "Stimulus II".

And it's Al Gore approved c... (Below threshold)
fustian:

And it's Al Gore approved carbon credits for all the good little boys and girls!

Hey...how come it looks like lumps of coal?

I don't believe in Anthropo... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

I don't believe in Anthropogenic Global Warming, but this year, thanks to the ClimateGate Whistleblower, I do believe in Santa Claus....

Santa's bringing more goodi... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Santa's bringing more goodies for Democrat causes in a gift package called Stimulus II.

Wow...Nancy Pelosi s... (Below threshold)
sarahconnor2:

Wow...
Nancy Pelosi should really not go out before she puts on her make-up.

Santa waves a final good by... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Santa waves a final good bye after Congress passes ClauseCare - a government run "holiday" gifting program, affectively putting Santa out of business.

Yo Tiger, my gift this year... (Below threshold)
Jumpinjoe:

Yo Tiger, my gift this year is timely advice "next time you're on the road, call Rosie Palmer and her five sisters' instead"

Well it looks like Santa ca... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Well it looks like Santa caved in to PETA, who claims his one-night dash around the world amounted to reindeer abuse.

In what could only be viewe... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

In what could only be viewed as a major setback for his crusade, Al Gore has lost Santa...

Santa follows Al Gore's lea... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

Santa follows Al Gore's lead and ditches the eco-friendly sled for a private jet.

Santa using a private jet, ... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Santa using a private jet, the Easter Bunny delivering eggs from corporate farms, the Tooth Fairy's improper disposal of biohazardous waste, and Mother Nature cooling the planet, I guess they don't believe in AlGore....

Uh oh, it looks like Roman ... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Uh oh, it looks like Roman Polanski is back on the dating scene...

Thanks to the EPA's CO2 end... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Thanks to the EPA's CO2 endangerment finding, next year Santa will only be able to feebly toss gifts towards the recipient from his patio at the North Pole.

"Why no reindeer? Well them... (Below threshold)
geo Author Profile Page:

"Why no reindeer? Well them naughty girls prefer private luxurious jets to open air sleighs and reindeer farts."

Kevin Jennings distributes ... (Below threshold)
hermie:

Kevin Jennings distributes special 'kits' at an Education Department's event for teenagers.

Ho! Ho! Ho! I am here to ha... (Below threshold)
Bill Shives:

Ho! Ho! Ho! I am here to hand out your christmas carbon Credits.

ACLU sues Santa to remove t... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

ACLU sues Santa to remove the word 'Christmas' from bag after Democrat complains.

President Obama delivers hi... (Below threshold)
Sabba Hillel:

President Obama delivers his "arguments" to get Senators to vote for government controlled health care.

Al Gore headed off on his w... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Al Gore headed off on his world tour promoting his next "This Fantasy is Real" film.

And all the bad little boys... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

And all the bad little boys and girls get my carbon footprint this year, instead of a lump of coal. It is more eco-friendly.

Barry discovers the true me... (Below threshold)
914:

Barry discovers the true meaning of Christmas..

Y'all voted for a sack of s... (Below threshold)
Brad:

Y'all voted for a sack of shit. Well, here it is!

Everyone gets coal in their... (Below threshold)

Everyone gets coal in their stocking this year! Santa's only carbon footprint is the sooty one on your carpet.

Santa says his final goodby... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Santa says his final goodbye after leaving the trade he had practiced for hundreds of years.

Asked the reason for his decision, he replied "I just can't compete with the Obama Administration, but at least I insisted that people be good".

The agitator who stole Chr... (Below threshold)
914:

The agitator who stole Christmas heads for Copenhagen!

Stimulus II... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:

Stimulus II

Is that Michael's "White Gl... (Below threshold)
bigbugna:

Is that Michael's "White Glove" on his right hand?

And a big sack of coal for ... (Below threshold)
Flu-Bird:

And a big sack of coal for all those at the climategate in copenhegan and another bigger one for AL GORE

Santa applies for a job wit... (Below threshold)
914:

Santa applies for a job with the Goracle..

Only requirements: Renonunce gift giving, Reindeer breeding, redistributing free wealth, abusing polar bears,breathing, visiting Crawford and cutting down on all that chicken fat in His diet.

Barry steals our two front ... (Below threshold)
914:

Barry steals our two front teeth than heads for Copenhagen.

"Hi, glad you asked. Rudolp... (Below threshold)
Hodink:

"Hi, glad you asked. Rudolph was relocated to The Island of Misfit Toys."

"Ho! Ho! Ho! ... No TARP mo... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

"Ho! Ho! Ho! ... No TARP money for you!"

"Ho! Ho! Ho! ... No Im not ... (Below threshold)
914:

"Ho! Ho! Ho! ... No Im not Tiger!"

After discovering that the ... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

After discovering that the Obama Administration had rescinded the Right to Keep and Bear Daisy Red Ryder BB guns, Santa had to resort to a Gulfstream to make government approved, last minute replacement gift deliveries of IPods loaded with Obama Speeches...

Our Economy: Up We go into ... (Below threshold)
914:

Our Economy: Up We go into the wild blue yonder..

~Jingle smells Jingle smell... (Below threshold)
914:

~Jingle smells Jingle smells Barry all the way

Oh what fun it is to ride in a Barry induced shit parade

Jingle smells Jingle smells Barry all the way

Oh what fun We have today as We beg for food and pay~

Tiger Woods arrives in his ... (Below threshold)
Steve Green's 1st Grade Teacher:

Tiger Woods arrives in his private jet to visit the Ho's

Teacher~"Tiger Woo... (Below threshold)
914:

Teacher~

"Tiger Woods arrives in his private jet to visit the Ho's"

Did Steven F Green fail? ( passing is not an option ) in life? ~

Santa holds up his hand to ... (Below threshold)

Santa holds up his hand to show fans the number of times Obama's told Al Gore "I WON and you didn't".

SANTA GIVES OBAMBI A FIVE F... (Below threshold)
914:

SANTA GIVES OBAMBI A FIVE FINGER DISCOUNT ON ALL THE GOODS AND SERVICES HE STOLE FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!

We luv U Santa!

I bring you "hope and chang... (Below threshold)
Maddox:

I bring you "hope and change"
all you have to do is believe.

You little troll punks want... (Below threshold)
914:

You little troll punks want action? Ok, I neg Myself before your prickasse's could usurp the priveledge.

♬Trolls nut... (Below threshold)


Trolls nuts roasting on an open fire...

(I think giving #64 a negative vote means you agree with 914's sentiments, at least that's what I'm going with)

"Hey!!! Little Billy! Wanna... (Below threshold)

"Hey!!! Little Billy! Wanna sit on Santa's lap? Ever watch gladiator movies?"

Santa arrives for the meeti... (Below threshold)
DON wagner:

Santa arrives for the meeting if himself, the Tooth Fairy, and the Hadley CRU AGW proof

Santa Upgrades....... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Santa Upgrades....

The sleigh becomes a G5....

Rudolph is replaced by a highly qualified pilot and GPS navigational system....

and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen refer to a whole new different type of traveling companion...

Santa Goes Galt"Sc... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Santa Goes Galt

"Screw it, I'm taking this last bag and headed to the Bahamas."

Unionization of Elves and Carbon Tax on Reindeer Farts Blamed.

Santa Claus on his way to S... (Below threshold)

Santa Claus on his way to Senate hearing to appeal for TARP funds for North Pole operations.

Another delegate to Copenha... (Below threshold)

Another delegate to Copenhagen Global Warming Conference waves to reporters. "Reindeers?!" he yelled. "I can't fly reindeers. They emit much more methane than my brand spanking new Lear Jet!"

"Warming?! You think the No... (Below threshold)

"Warming?! You think the North Pole is warming?! You go sit up there for 364 days a year and freeze YOUR testicles off, Mr. Gore! I'm outta there!"

"I'm making a list, and che... (Below threshold)

"I'm making a list, and checking it twice, and then I'm using the Easter Bunny's trick to hide the decline."

Osama Bin Laden finally fig... (Below threshold)

Osama Bin Laden finally figures out a clever way of sneaking into the cockpit of Air Force One.

"Heck, if Nancy Pelosi can ... (Below threshold)

"Heck, if Nancy Pelosi can give up her broom, then I can damn well give up the sleigh!"

President Obama finally rev... (Below threshold)

President Obama finally reveals how he plans to enact single-payer health care that doesn't have any rationing, balance the budget, and not raise any taxes (not one dime!). A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Unicorns TK.

I've brought a BIG lump of ... (Below threshold)

I've brought a BIG lump of coal for the IPCC! I know how much they love coal!

Trolls? They make the wron... (Below threshold)
914:

Trolls? They make the wrong choices time and CRIME a gain.. i.e. See OBAMA!

One of the leaked letters t... (Below threshold)

One of the leaked letters to Santa from three of the Baxter children pressured Santa to put little Timmy on the naughty list.

What are you? A Santa DENIA... (Below threshold)

What are you? A Santa DENIALIST!???!??!!!

"This was the only way I co... (Below threshold)
exceller:

"This was the only way I could get PETA off my ass and still get the job done', replied Mr. Claus.

White House Disclaimer : S... (Below threshold)
retired military:

White House Disclaimer : Since Santa's bag says Merry Christmas the WH disavows any association with Santa Claus.

Headline in NY Times :... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Headline in NY Times :

ACLU sues Santa Claus over religous message stenciled on bag.

Mother to Child:"I... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Mother to Child:

"I know the man is as fat as Al Gore but it cant be him. Al Gore would never have the word Christmas on his bag"

On his trip to the North Po... (Below threshold)

On his trip to the North Pole to accept his "Whose Birth We Really Celebrate on Christmas" Prize, Obama turned down an invitation to sit on Santa Claus' lap and a traditional tour of the mysterious Toy Shop. "Jesus Christ, who does he think he is?!" said one of the Three Kings.

What's the difference betwe... (Below threshold)

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jesus?

Jesus shaves.

The Senata invents a new lo... (Below threshold)

The Senata invents a new low in inserting mysterious Clauses into appropriations bills.

Michelle Obama's new outfit... (Below threshold)

Michelle Obama's new outfit draws rave reviews from Newsweek and Time.

Senata above should be Sena... (Below threshold)

Senata above should be Senate.

Oops.

Another surprise bag of ACO... (Below threshold)

Another surprise bag of ACORN absentee ballots is dropped off at the Minnesota Secretary of State's office.

Santa is off to the Global ... (Below threshold)

Santa is off to the Global Warming Summit in Copenhagen in Al Gore's private sleigh to deliver a big bag of carbon credits.

Tired of arguing whether he... (Below threshold)
Ken in Camarillo:

Tired of arguing whether he is environmentally correct, Santa decided to do what all other eco-heroes do: fly in private jets.

Santa comes to Al Gore... (Below threshold)
John the Trog:

Santa comes to Al Gore

Don't worry children I have carbon offsets

It was either the Reindeer and methane or this

With all the ice gone from the North Pole I moved the operation to Florida and bought this baby

Off to Copen to gift ALGore... (Below threshold)
Newton White:

Off to Copen to gift ALGore with a bag of carbon I bought on credit...

Obama forces Santa to chang... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Obama forces Santa to change his laugh to O! O! O!

New York Senator Gary Acker... (Below threshold)
Syllabucks:

New York Senator Gary Ackerman as Santa comes to Congress to request a bailout: "There's a delicious irony in seeing private luxury jets flying in to Washington DC".

Failing to pass through sec... (Below threshold)

Failing to pass through security screening, the bearded man with an unidentified carry on was subdued by air marshals and detained for questioning.

The Cash-for-Christmas-Misf... (Below threshold)

The Cash-for-Christmas-Misfits Program comes under fire.

Nancy promised a health car... (Below threshold)

Nancy promised a health care bill for everyone for Christmas and ordered Santa to deliver it to all the good little taxpayer boys and girls.

"Mele kalikimaka!"... (Below threshold)

"Mele kalikimaka!"

Obama personally directs US... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

Obama personally directs USAF "Big Drop" plan
to punish Iran for continuing nuclear development. "Bombs are too loud and destructive.....we're dropping lumps of coal
to embarrass them in their perfidy".

Obama, carrying "every page... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

Obama, carrying "every page of the health care
bill" plans to drop them "all over the country
to cement my promise of transparency to the
people.".........from 40,000 feet.

"On EA, on Buick, on Wheati... (Below threshold)
Son of a Pig and a Monkey:

"On EA, on Buick, on Wheaties, and Asahi;
Come Amex and Titleist, NetJets, and Nike"

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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