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Eight REAL Reasons Why Theodore Roosevelt Is the Coolest President Ever

One of my favorite Presidents, Theodore Roosevelt has also been the coolest for the last 100 years. Here now are the eight reasons why good ol' Teddy was the coolest of them all.

8. Out on hunting in 1901, Roosevelt killed a cougar. But not in a generic, "normal" way of killing a mountain lion. No, Teddy made sure to kill the cougar by killing it with only a knife. In the future, cougars would die by looking at T.R. and having terror-related heart attacks.

7. He grew up an asthmatic, in a time when asthma was a debilitating affliction. He was sickly and weak...then he grew up to become a professional boxer and all-around iron-pumping, hard-as-nails tough guy.

6. Out hunting with friends, he saved the life of a bear that they had tied to a tree, saying that it was too easy and therefore unsportsmanlike. Now tell me, how many people do you know who go out hunting bears, and DON'T kill them because it's just too damn easy?

5. He led the Rough Riders up San Juan Hill during the Spanish-American war. He led the attack; you know, out in front where it's really easy to be shot a thousand times by the enemy.

4. Point blank: his awesome mustache.

3. Roosevelt was the youngest man ever to serve as President. Not the youngest elected, mind you, but the youngest to hold the position. The person who was weak and sickly ascended to the highest office in the world before anyone in history.

2. Running for President in 1912, Roosevelt led the most successful Third-Party campaign in history. As a Bull Moose, T.R. ran against William Howard Taft (who refused to step aside for Roosevelt to let him run as a Republican) and Woodrow Wilson (D). In the end Wilson would win because of the split vote between Taft and Roosevelt, but Teddy did earn eleven times the electoral votes Taft did. No wonder everyone only remembers Taft for getting stuck in that bathtub.

1. This reason is particularly awesome, so I must warn you that your head may explode from the awesome-ness. While campaigning in 1912, Roosevelt stopped in Milwaukee to spread his word. Getting ready to give a speech, a man named John Schrank approached Teddy and shot him in the chest. He was quickly apprehended. But what's a flesh wound to Theodore Roosevelt? Minutes later, T.R. went on stage, announced he had been shot, and GAVE THE SPEECH, which was 3,800+ words. Hell, it's tough for me to make a presentation if I burn my tongue.


Cross-posted at Jumping in Pools


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Comments (17)

Shot in the chest and TR ga... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Shot in the chest and TR gave his speech?

OMG we have a President now who can't give one without his TOTUS!

Teddy's son wasn't bad eith... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Teddy's son wasn't bad either. Having had a heart attack, he insisted on going ashore with his troops in the first wave. Omaha Beach, June 6, 1944. He was felled by a massive heart attack several days later.

TR was the type of president we need today. "Speak softly, but carry a big stick." AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE IT!

One of the great ones no do... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

One of the great ones no doubt and a republican to boot. However, I think he charged up San Juan hill because his vision was poor and had no idea he was out in front. ;) ww

I think Lincoln might have ... (Below threshold)

I think Lincoln might have an argument for "most successful 3rd party candidate."

But you want another one? TR won the Nobel Peace Prize for actually doing something that advanced the cause of peace -- he held the negotiations that ended the Russo-Japanese War.

Right here in New Hampshire, for that matter...

Plus there is that so amazingly cool "Great White Fleet Around The World" stunt...

J.

TR has his good points.... (Below threshold)
bryanD:

TR has his good points.

Bad point?
Consigning Korea to Japanese annexation and virtual slavery for 40 years as a sop to TR's industrialist backers' aims to destabilize the Russian government in its struggle with Japan over NE Asia.

At the time, Russia's oil industry was growing exponentially and was seen as a bottom line threat to American private interests. TR was anti-Russian and extremely pro-Japan.

As for the trope about TR's anti-monopoly policies in office, the value of Rockefeller's Standard Oil trust, for example, increased in net value when recreated as "sisters", with JDRockefeller still owning each, of course.

BTW, the Japan policy "worked". The czarist government fell. The new communist regime in Russia awarded Standard Oil drilling rights.

Epilogue: ESSO (Standard Oil of Ohio, a "sister") operated inside the Third Reich and there are photos extant of Esso fuel trucks in Nazi armoured columns in the Polish theater of war.

Teddy's an interesting anim... (Below threshold)
James H:

Teddy's an interesting animal, particularly given today's political environment. His political views don't mesh well with today's red-blue divide.

"BTW, the Japan policy "wor... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"BTW, the Japan policy "worked". The czarist government fell."

Rewriting history again bryan? The czar fell because of WWI.

On another note, ever notic... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

On another note, ever notice how libs 'can connect the dots on "EVIL" Republicans', but can't connect the dots when a guy gets on a plane with a bomb strapped to his ass?

Just another sterling example of the 'bestest administration evah!'

Open, Honest, Transparent. Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

"Rewriting history again br... (Below threshold)
bryanD:

"Rewriting history again bryan? The czar fell because of WWI."
7. Posted by GarandFan

Not strictly correct. Western powers had been sponsoring revolutionists inside Russia from TR's time. The authors of the unsuccessful 1905 revolution were granted asylum in the west. Lenin was financed by German secret service, but to say that the techno-industrial Prussian state (recognized as the #2 economy (and growing) in the world at the time) didn't assign the mission, is absurd. And everyone is familiar with the sealed train whisked across war frontiers with Lenin (and "war funds") and the reunions at Finland Station, etc.
Or that Trotsky left to assume his place in the Bolshevik government from the port of New York. Trotsky enjoyed a high standard of living, though unemployed, while in the city.

(There is a "tale" that Westinghouse Company financed his end of the revolution, and indeed Westinghouse was given carte blanch capitalist opportunities in the new anti-capitalist Marxist state.)

So "WW 1" did not in itself cause the collapse of the czar, I say. It coincided with it and contributed to it, definitely, but the Russian-USA-German-Swiss events, viz the Czar during WW1, were a later phase in a plot for control or neutralization of a competing economy newly found to be rich in oil. It shifted into high gear during the TR years; a time which coincided with Russia's potential oil wealth being realized by the world.

Was TR's Japan mania a lifelong thing, or a convenient position? I don't know that part. But for a man with a jingo streak, confirming international imperialism as a foreign policy goal for a rising naval power like Japan, is...odd.

Haven't you gotten the Glen... (Below threshold)
buquet:

Haven't you gotten the Glenn Beck e-mail on what an evil progressive Teddy Roosevelt was? LOL There is a WONDERFUL recently written book called Teddy Roosevelt and the River of Doubt. Do yourself a favor and read it. It is the true story of how TR and one of his sons led a geographical expedition to chart an unknown South American river located in the Amazon River basin.Cannibals, murder and mayhem that almost killed the ex-President!

Only person ever to win bot... (Below threshold)
Rodney Graves Author Profile Page:

Only person ever to win both a Medal of Honor and a Nobel Peace Prize.

The Medal of Honor was rather late in being awarded...

My favorite TR story is act... (Below threshold)
Jeff Medcalf:

My favorite TR story is actually about one of his ranch hands. A British delegate came to see the President at his ranch. He came across a hand, and asked where the man's master was. The hand replied, "That man ain't done been born yet.

Funny you should post this ... (Below threshold)

Funny you should post this now, as I'm reading "Theodore Rex" by Edmund Morris. Great read about a great president.

Who would give a speech whe... (Below threshold)
Andrew Sullivan:

Who would give a speech when they are shot. Obviously, Trig is not Teddy's baby.

He was a hunter which dont ... (Below threshold)
Flu-Bird:

He was a hunter which dont set with the PETA jerks,he was a rancher which dosnt set well with PETA and he created the nations very first wildlife refuge PELICAN ISLAND which proves why PETA are idiots

Three points:1. TR w... (Below threshold)
txr:

Three points:
1. TR was not a professional boxer if by that is meant paid boxer. He was an amateur, but privately he took on some very talented opponents.
2. I believe that the bear incident to which you refer is the famous hunt which produced the Teddy Bear. The bear was a 235 pound adult which TR refused to shoot pointing out it was unsportsmanlike to shoot a tethered animal. He instructed his guide to put the bear out of its misery, which was done with a knife.
3. TR's wound was certainly not a flesh wound. The bullet lodged in his chest. During the lengthy speech, blood covering his shirt front, his handlers gathered below the podium to catch him if he fell, and when he left the stage, a squelching sound could be heard as he walked because his shoes were filled with blood. He eventually went to the hospital, where it was decided to leave the bullet in his chest, fearing an operation might kill him if infection set in, a very common occurrence of the day, and the cause of his predecessor's death.

Chuck Norris wants to be TR... (Below threshold)

Chuck Norris wants to be TR!




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