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He, Miles Gloriosus..

A long time ago, I read a book where one character says that human beings "talk in stories." We tend to spend most of our time talking in anecdotes, tales, and whatnot. It's the primary way we inform others about ourselves. And those stories tend to tell a lot more about ourselves than a simple recitation of facts -- they are remarkably revealing about our true natures.

For example, I tend to most often tell self-deprecating stories, with a humorous bent. I figured out a long time ago what that says about me, psychologically, and why I do it -- and I'm OK with that.

But this guy I know... he's something else.

It took me a while to catch on, but almost all of his anecdotes have the same theme:

He's the strongest. He's the fastest. He's the toughest. He's the bravest. He's the smartest. He's the most resourceful. And he's always right. In almost each and every case, he's involved in a conflict with others -- and it always ends with he being acknowledged as superior.

Unfortunately for me, my relationship with this guy is professional, not personal, so I can't just call him on his bullshit without risking problems at the Day Job.

Sooner or later, I'm gonna snap and this guy's gonna get an earful. Right now, though, I've found a way to make his boastings almost tolerable -- I listen to the beginning, then try to guess the ending. It's easy -- I just have to ask myself "where could this go that would make him look the best, to his way of thinking?"

Last few times, it's worked like a charm.

And the day I snap, I just might interrupt him and give him my prediction -- and just how I came to it. That oughta take the wind out of his sails a bit.

And make my Day Job quite awkward for some time to come.

It just might be worth it, though...


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Comments (20)

Usually one who sings their... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Usually one who sings their own praises, have in reality a HUGE inferior complex. In the future you could always keep that in mind while he recants his escapades.

What pleasure could you derive by patting him on the back and saying "Good job, old man" as one might do to a little child. Never knew, he might -- even subconsciously -- that this is a tactic he should be taking with you.


;-D

Last sentence should read: ... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Last sentence should read: You never know, he might come to realize -- even subconsciously --that this is a tactic he should not take with you.

I know someone like that. O... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

I know someone like that. Only it's my mother. She's one of those that has to "top" any story you tell. If you were sick, she was sicker. If you won first prize she won first, second and third and first in a contest she didn't even enter.

My siblings and I have turned into a game to see just how ridiculous we can get her to go. The best so far was when I was telling the story of how while on business travel I happened to share a hotel elevator ride with Nelson Mandella and a couple of his staff. I didn't say anything or make even more than the briefest eye contact with him, but still thought it was pretty cool to have such a random encounter.

Despite never traveling and living in a town with no buildings tall enough to require an elevator she claimed to have done the same thing only Queen Elizabeth was there too. :-/

You work with Joe Biden?</p... (Below threshold)
Saterp:

You work with Joe Biden?

Saterp-Where shoul... (Below threshold)
Brian The Adequate:

Saterp-

Where should I send the bill for my new keyboard?

They take threats on the pr... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

They take threats on the president very seriously you know.

Unfortunately for ... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:
Unfortunately for me, my relationship with this guy is professional, not personal, so I can't just call him on his bullshit without risking problems at the Day Job.

Jay -- is this guy your superior?   :-)

I didn't realize that you w... (Below threshold)
wright:

I didn't realize that you worked at the White House.

I swear that every characte... (Below threshold)
Don L:

I swear that every characteristic you wrote of was leading to the Obamamessiah, but then I realized that such a humble man as he couldn't possibly consider himself superior.

Jay -- is this ... (Below threshold)
Jay -- is this guy your superior?
Not a chance. Unless you mean "on the organizational chart?"
"I swear that every charact... (Below threshold)

"I swear that every characteristic you wrote of was leading to the Obamamessiah, but then I realized that such a humble man as he couldn't possibly consider himself superior.

9. Posted by Don L | March 2, 2010 8:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast) "

Reminds me of a story of a guy who turned down every woman who was suggested as a marriage match because "he was too good for her". Finally one of his friends took him aside and told him that unless he worked on his modesty and humbleness, he would never find a match. He realized that he had been arrogant and resolved to work on it. After a while he actually succeeded and became humble and modest. A matchmaker brought a list of women, including one he had turned down before. He answered, "I turned her down before because she was not up to my standards, now that I have added the virtue of modesty to my accomplishments, she is even less worthy to become my wife".

So now the truth comes out.... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:

So now the truth comes out. "Jay Tea" was actually Robert Gibbs all along...

"In almost each and every c... (Below threshold)
Speller:

"In almost each and every case, he's involved in a conflict with others -- and it always ends with he being acknowledged as superior."

My experience with people has shown that few people who are proven wrong, especially in a controtational situation, ever admit they were wrong even if it's undeniable.

They lose face if they do.

This guy you are writing about lives in fantasy land.
I hope he doesn't have a job with serious real world consequences.

Which czar are you?... (Below threshold)
itismedavid:

Which czar are you?

I, Miles Gloriosus,I... (Below threshold)
mojo:

I, Miles Gloriosus,
I, slaughterer of thousands,
I, oppressor of the meek,
Subduer of the weak,
Degrader of the Greek,
Destroyer of the Turk,
Must hurry back to work.

Update: in a discussion tha... (Below threshold)

Update: in a discussion that touched upon domestic violence, Miles told of a time a female relative was being beaten by her son. Miles made it to their home in half the normal time and -- surprise, surprise -- administered his own beating on the abusive (adult) son. And said adult son NEVER laid a finger on his mother ever again.

Color me flabbergasted.

J.

You sure the guy's <a href=... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

You sure the guy's name is not Glen?

I have a relative like thi... (Below threshold)
MF:

I have a relative like this but he never stops talking to take a breath.
I think these type people are pretty self absorbed/have issues.

You just described my broth... (Below threshold)
bobdog:

You just described my brother in law.

Even his wife calls him an asshole once in a while.

And she's right.

Hey, Jay Tea, how come you ... (Below threshold)
Sean P:

Hey, Jay Tea, how come you never told us you were working for Obama?




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