1. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
3. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
4. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
5. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get off your rear and open the door.
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BluRay? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I am pretty sure I did not make any changes to.
13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Drat it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
18. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
19. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
28. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my last nickel everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
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Comments (15)
I have trouble with #4, but... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Lorie Byrd | April 17, 2010 8:28 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
I have trouble with #4, but my dad has always been able to fold them flat. I think it has something to do with him having a million times more patience than I do.
1. Posted by Lorie Byrd | April 17, 2010 8:28 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2010 20:28
2. Posted by jim m | April 17, 2010 8:30 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
I understand your pain. (#4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHTyH2nuFAw
2. Posted by jim m | April 17, 2010 8:30 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2010 20:30
3. Posted by iwogisdead | April 17, 2010 8:34 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
My family makes fun of me because I watch movies that I like 5, 10, 15 times. Every time I watch, I get a little more of them (movies, not family).
Everybody gets dumber every year. Except for me, of course.
3. Posted by iwogisdead | April 17, 2010 8:34 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2010 20:34
4. Posted by Upset Old Guy | April 17, 2010 8:51 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Have you ever noticed how much more dangerous it is to be a pedestrian in a mall parking lot when it's raining? People rush to their cars to try to avoid getting too wet, unfortunately some of them then drive off with the same haste and lack of concern for others.
It seems as if you're much more likely as a pedestrian to be compelled to just stand and wait for a line of cars to pass and sometimes even avoid getting hit by a car when it's raining.
4. Posted by Upset Old Guy | April 17, 2010 8:51 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2010 20:51
5. Posted by goddessoftheclassroom | April 17, 2010 9:08 PM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
One of the most enjoyable posts I've read anywhere for a long time!
5. Posted by goddessoftheclassroom | April 17, 2010 9:08 PM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2010 21:08
6. Posted by GarandFan | April 17, 2010 9:21 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Want to have some 'fun". (DO NOT DO THIS WHEN YOU ARE IN A HURRY!) Buy something at the local store. Head to the cash register manned by a teenager. When they ring up the purchase for say $13.43, hand them a $20 and 3 cents.
If the register only rings up the sales amount and NOT the about tendered, these idiots are now totally LOST!
6. Posted by GarandFan | April 17, 2010 9:21 PM |
Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Posted on April 17, 2010 21:21
7. Posted by klrtz1 | April 18, 2010 9:46 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
When I sit in one position so long that my leg goes to sleep, I don't know about it until I try to get up. This is a metaphor for the government takeover of health care.
7. Posted by klrtz1 | April 18, 2010 9:46 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 18, 2010 09:46
8. Posted by xiphos | April 18, 2010 9:57 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
You're #25, it's the kids.
8. Posted by xiphos | April 18, 2010 9:57 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on April 18, 2010 09:57
9. Posted by bains | April 18, 2010 10:49 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
I thought my speedometer was broken because during the hour previous, I had it pegged - yes, I was driving at over 120mph. (For those not familiar, US50 across Nevada is beautiful, solitary, and beckons for speed)
The reason behind the bad decision: When I drove thru Eureka, 25mph felt like I was stopped, ergo the speedometer must have been broken.
Nice list DJ
9. Posted by bains | April 18, 2010 10:49 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on April 18, 2010 10:49
10. Posted by Maddox | April 18, 2010 12:17 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
This is not a political question, I seriously consider it to be on of life's greatest mysteries:
How can any sane person over the age of 18 who has a job actually believe liberalism can work?
10. Posted by Maddox | April 18, 2010 12:17 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on April 18, 2010 12:17
11. Posted by Jay Guevara | April 18, 2010 1:53 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
I've actually had to take out pencil and paper to sort cashiers out on this. (And I added the odd cents to be helpful, not a pain in the ass.)
11. Posted by Jay Guevara | April 18, 2010 1:53 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on April 18, 2010 13:53
12. Posted by Jay Guevara | April 18, 2010 1:55 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
I'm going to work on this one right after I come up with the Unified Field Theory. Start with an easier question, I say.
12. Posted by Jay Guevara | April 18, 2010 1:55 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on April 18, 2010 13:55
13. Posted by McGehee | April 18, 2010 2:44 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
It's a trick question, JG -- by including the word "sane" he makes it the rhetorical equivalent of dividing by zero.
13. Posted by McGehee | April 18, 2010 2:44 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on April 18, 2010 14:44
14. Posted by Rance | April 19, 2010 3:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Corollary to #27: In parking lots, pedestrians always seem surprised and annoyed that there are people driving cars. Drivers always seem surprised and annoyed that there are people walking.
14. Posted by Rance | April 19, 2010 3:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 19, 2010 15:19
15. Posted by Clint | April 19, 2010 5:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Re: #3: sarcasm font
I know of a forum where the color orange has been declared to be the sarcasm font. One might complain that orange is an ugly color. The appropriate response is left as an exercise to the reader.
Re: xiphos, at comment 8
If you have trouble with basic grammar, it's usually a bad idea to call other people stupid in writing.
15. Posted by Clint | April 19, 2010 5:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 19, 2010 17:40