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Palin Derangement Syndrome Update: Iowahawk Eviscerates Joe McGinnis

Iowahawk has a piece up that just eviscerates Joe McGinnis and the boatload of journalists (including the likes of Tina Fey) that suffer from Palin Derangement Syndrome . As Kim noted earlier this week, Joe McGinnis, who is finishing a book on Palin, recently rented the house next door to the Palin family in Wasilla, Alaska.

Assuming a persona of the Palin that occupies the inside of McGinnis' head (as opposed to the real Sara Palin), Iowahawk covers the entire spectrum of PDS symptoms with withering sarcasm. Here's a sample:

Knockity knock!

Oh hi there! I was out shooting caribou on the Arctic Cat and saw your synapse lights on, and so I said to myself, "now, gosh darn it, Sarah, you've been living inside this nice person's cerebral cortex for, what is it, almost two years now? By golly, it's about time you dropped in at their frontal lobe with a plate of your famous homemade Alaska welcome wagon cookies and introduced yourself." So anyhoo, I sure hope you like 'em. Don't want to give out a family recipe, but the secret ingredient is baby seal. I clubbed 'em fresh this morning!

Oh my goodness... you look kind of confused. I get that a lot! You were probably thinking, "hey, I only wanted to move next door to Sarah Palin -- now what in the goshdarned heck is she doing inside my brain?" Well ya see, the deal is I'm not Sarah, but boy I gotta tell ya, we sure do get mistaken all the time! No, I'm just a plain ol' homunculus Sarah Palin that your own id created to sublimate your deep-seated psychosexual neuroses. Or so those egghead books say, anyway. But if you ask me that sure sounds like a lot of elite Anti-America liberal professor gobbledegook! By the way, your id says hi.

Gosh darn it, where the heck are my manners? Here I am, gabbing away, like some plainspoken chatty old chatterbox, while you've probably got things to do. I imagine you've got an important op-ed or comedy skit to write about that other Sarah Palin, the one from corporeal reality. And why she's irrelevant and ridiculous and such. Oh no, don't worry, I won't take it personal. After all I'm not her, remember? Though I bet it can probably get confusing trying to keep straight which one of us is which, and who really said what. Tell you what -- why don't you just take the cookies as my gift, and I'll drop by later when it's more convenient. Or, if you like, I'll just be on my way and let you live in peace. You tell me. After all, I'm really only a figment of your imagination. Just stop thinking about me, and poof -- I'll mush the ol' dogsled straight back to your subconscious forever.

...Now where were we? Oh yes, Tina Fey. Now, just the other day Tina... umm... is everything all right? I mean, you have the strangest look in your subthalamus. Oh...! Oh, this. The bikini. Funniest thing. Turns out once I'm inside a liberal's head, It's like poof! Off with the clothes. I tell ya, it's gotten to the point that I really don't even notice it anymore. No, don't be embarrassed or ashamed, most of your friends don't even give me the bikini.

Whoa! Did you feel that? I think I felt a little earthquake! Oh -- I see. It was just you, banging your head against the stair banister trying to get me out of it. Trust me, you might as well give up on that, because it's not gonna work. Just ask Tina Fey. Say, what's this on your coffee table - a scrapbook? Goodness sakes, I love scrapbooking! It's so much fun isn't it? And such a wholesome pastime to keep American families connected. Do you mind if I take a look at yours?

Now that's different... I gotta say I don't think I've ever seen this many pictures of me in one place. And all of them with the eyes cut out! Now, maybe I never went to a fancypants college like you did, but I can tell that is very artsy and avant garde. I wonder what it means? No, no -- don't give me any hints! Is it some kind of latent pathological response to the struggle between your libidinal and destrudinal impulses?


Go over to Iowahawk and read the whole thing. Good satire is impossibly hard to write and this may be the best takedown of a liberal icon in years.


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Comments (31)

Genius. ... (Below threshold)
Geoffrey Britain:

Genius.

Funny bit, especially about... (Below threshold)
Lee Ward:

Funny bit, especially about the bikini, and not far from the truth --

And now, an answer to the question we asked once upon a time: Did Sarah Palin's sex appeal help or hurt her as a VP candidate?:

Hurt, psychologists Nathan Heflick and Jamie Goldenberg find in a new paper. Summary below from Miller-McCune magazine:

[the researchers] took a group of 133 undergraduates and assigned them to write a few lines about one of two celebrities: Palin or actress Angelina Jolie. Half of the participants in each category were asked to write "your thoughts and feelings about this person," while the other half were asked to write "your thoughts and feelings about this person's appearance."

The participants were then asked to rate their subject (Palin or Jolie) in terms of various attributes, including competence. Finally, they were asked who they intended to vote for in the upcoming election.

Those who wrote about Palin's appearance were more positive in their assessments than those who assessed her qualities as a person. But they rated her far lower in terms of competence, intelligence and capability, and were far less likely to indicate they planned to vote for the McCain-Palin ticket.

She was a pretty package that turned out to be empty and full of air. The GOP spent almost $200,000.00 dressing up Caribou Barbie in the two months preceding the election, a stupendously stupid move in view.

This is Republicans and Independents making this judgment, according to the researchers. Apparently they didn't want a Sexy Puritan a step away from the White House. More proof that Palin helped sink the GOP ticket. As if we needed it.

Hey you guys, promise me that the more we liberals denigrate Palin the stronger she becomes a viable candidate in the minds of teabaggers!

Please! Pretty Please!

Link to above quote: <a hre... (Below threshold)
Lee Ward:
I included a link in the co... (Below threshold)
Lee Ward:

I included a link in the comment above but it ws rejected. It's an article on Slate.com titled

"Sarah Palin, Loser Sex Goddess" By Emily Bazelon

Wow! The first three comme... (Below threshold)
Harmon:

Wow! The first three comments are all all from wee wee Lee. The PDS is strong in this one.

"She was a pretty package t... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"She was a pretty package that turned out to be empty and full of air."

As opposed to YOUR Obamassiah who turned out to be empty and full of shit?

Never again! Right Lee?

I fished your link out of t... (Below threshold)
HughS:

I fished your link out of the toilet Lee.

Your point is based on a study of 133 undergraduates opining about Jolie and Palin? That's just about what I expected from you.

One more thing. Stop the teabagging comments or I'll start editing or junking them.

"Wow! The first three comme... (Below threshold)
Upset Old Guy:

"Wow! The first three comments are all all from wee wee Lee. The PDS is strong in this one."

Actually Harmon, it's just a lot easier for Lee to sideswipe Palin than it is for him (or anyone else for that matter) to make Obama's actions/inaction during the oil spill in the Gulf look rational, competent or appropriate.

The fact is, a picture of Obama is now the most approprate graphic to accompany that "lipstick on a piq" comment he made during the campaign.

In his book (and a pretty g... (Below threshold)
Glenn:

In his book (and a pretty good book it is even if you do find it on the remainder tables) "The Miracle of Castel di Sangro", Joe falls in love with Italian Soccer and travels to a small town in south central Italy to follow the fortunes of a team that has been elevated to Serie B. He becomes disillusioned when he finds that The team owner, coach, and players are collaborating to (Shock) FIX THE GAMES. Joe's a little naive. Probably he's going to catch a clue about Barry pretty soon. If it leads to a book deal.

O/TI would like to t... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

O/T
I would like to take a moment and COMMEND Lee Ward's favorite president.

He's consistent!

A man with no record of accomplishments (that we can find); a man with a past track record of spending large amounts of money, accomplishing nothing; a man who intoned that from the moment of his coronation; 'the earth began to heal, the seas began to cease their rise'; was faced with a catastrophic event in the Gulf of Mexico. Seizing the initiative, and donning his cloak of leadership; he began throwing out blame and stepping on necks. When those affected asked for assistance; HIS administration of hand-picked cronies leaped into the fray; citing lengthy government regulations (similar to those that they conveniently waved that caused this catastrophe) - thus prolonging the response time that might have averted or minimized some of the damage.

Have I got that right, Lee?

"Your point is based on ... (Below threshold)
Lee Ward:

"Your point is based on a study of 133 undergraduates opining about Jolie and Palin?"

People are people, and voters are voters.

It's a valid study. Those who were required to judge her on her appearance subsequnetly judged her less competent - which clearly indicates that her appearance hurt her in the ballot box -- and that dressing Caribou Barbie up in high fashion was a bad move.

You can learn from these mistakes or ignore them -- or choose to shoot the messenger.

Perhaps the analysis is too cerebral. Maybe if Glenn Beck diagrammed it on his chalkboard GOPers would have more faith in the study.

So Lee, quoting a study tha... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

So Lee, quoting a study that you obviously approve of - that "judges people on their appearance"; doesn't that hint at .... shall we say approval of "discrimination" on your part? Dare we say you therefore have no problems with RACISM!? Doesn't that then make YOU a RACIST!

Lee,That people wh... (Below threshold)
jim m:

Lee,

That people who judged Palin on her appearance considered her to be less competent does not mean that her appearance hurt her.

It is equally justifiable to assert that those who judge her to be less competent are liberal and that the study is an admission that they judge other people not on the content of their character but on their superficial appearance.

Nothing to see in that study just an admission of liberal racism. Move along...

"Hey you guys, promise me t... (Below threshold)
jim m:

"Hey you guys, promise me that the more we liberals denigrate Palin the stronger she becomes a viable candidate in the minds of teabaggers!"

Sure Lee, as long as you keep on bringing out studies showing how shallow and racist you are.

The troll unwittingly prove... (Below threshold)
davidt:

The troll unwittingly proves Iowahawk's point.

The homunculus Sarah Palin that the troll's own id created to sublimate the troll's deep-seated psychosexual neuroses lives rent free in the troll's head and causes the troll to display the troll's sexual feebleness in this discussion forum.

Lee WardI think yo... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Lee Ward

I think you are racist against Sarah Palin because she is white.

"...133 undergr... (Below threshold)
Jay Guevara:

"...133 undergraduates ..."

Who were doubtless 99% Obama supporters.

But who has better judgment than an undergraduate?

She was a pretty package that turned out to be empty and full of air. The GOP spent almost $200,000.00 dressing up Caribou Barbie in the two months preceding the election, a stupendously stupid move in view.

Of course, the Reds spent almost $500 million dressing up the Mulatto Messiah, but forgot to teach him how many states there are, what language is spoken in Austria, or how to pronounce "corpsman."

STOP IT YOU GUYS!,, Lee Lee... (Below threshold)
Ran:

STOP IT YOU GUYS!,, Lee Lee wants to talk about Palin!.. NOT the "affirmative Action" Guy!

I say make her get her tube... (Below threshold)
dave thomas:

I say make her get her tubes tied and dont allow this idiot to breed ever again, and cover up this hillbilly wink she has, i think its a brain issue, and those kids all are ????

only pervs and poor white t... (Below threshold)
dave thomas:

only pervs and poor white trash gives any attention to a word this idiot speaks, the poor bottom feeders dont know any better

HeH.Another homunc... (Below threshold)
davidt:

HeH.

Another homunculus Sarah Palin puppetmaster chimes in.

C'mon. Give Lee a break. ... (Below threshold)
SCSIwuzzy:

C'mon. Give Lee a break. Even he thinks his man Barack is a pathalogical liar

Lee Ward is a racist who ha... (Below threshold)
TexBob:

Lee Ward is a racist who hates white southern conservative people who believe in God with a passion.

It burns in what used to be his soul.

I think Joe McGinnis is cro... (Below threshold)
Tina S:

I think Joe McGinnis is crossing a line by living next door to the subject of his next book! But Palin does have a history of getting into long running and vindictive feuds with people. Perhaps its just Karma.

Joe McGinnis's son has made the following statement on the matter,

"A woman was renting her house and sought out the author because the Palins had crossed her (owed her money for renovations she had done at their request and never paid her for). So she knew McGinniss was writing the book and found him and offered him the house..."

So Tina S... Your argument ... (Below threshold)
jim m:

So Tina S... Your argument "Palin does have a history of getting into long running and vindictive feuds with people. Perhaps its just Karma." comes down to the bitch asked for it by what she was wearing? Rape defense attorneys must love you.

The bogus assertion that a man, who put up a 14 foot tall fence on his own and built his own house, hired his neighbor to renovate it and then failed to pay her is asinine. There is no basis in fact for what McGinnis claims. Of course ignorant leftists have taken it hook, line, and sinker without questioning it for even a moment. Disgusting.

Tina S,I'd love to... (Below threshold)
jim m:

Tina S,

I'd love to hear your explanation of how it is that with swarms of dem operatives and journalists (but I repeat myself) crawling all over Wassila, digging for dirt on Palin and her family, that not a single one heard this story of how Todd Palin hired his neighbor to do renovation work without a contract and then stiffed them afterward. Clearly there isn't a contract because they would have pursued legal action if that were the case.

Oh how I love it!!! All you... (Below threshold)
Madalyn:

Oh how I love it!!! All you have to do is say the name "Sarah Palin" and the left goes into slobbering, blubbering, eyerolling spastical movements that would make a gold medal gymnast jealous. Can this get any better?
Madalyn

All of the PDS in the liber... (Below threshold)
914:

All of the PDS in the liberal world isn't gonna save Barry from his mistress in the gulf. Shes got ya by the balls Barry.. Pay up!

That thing was cruel, funny... (Below threshold)
Rich Fader:

That thing was cruel, funny...and dead on target. And as usual, the folks it's about are so vain, they clearly don't think it's about them.

And note to Lee...when you post an article to the effect that Sarah Palin's an airhead and then have to do another post for the link, and then another for the title...you don't help your credibility.

IMO, the best thing Lee cou... (Below threshold)
Sky Captain:

IMO, the best thing Lee could do for his credibility is to just go away.

"And note to Lee...when ... (Below threshold)
Lee Ward:

"And note to Lee...when you post an article to the effect that Sarah Palin's an airhead and then have to do another post for the link, and then another for the title...you don't help your credibility."

And when you make accusations without knowing the facts you look like an ass.

I link all the time, more than Wizbang bloggers do. The blogging software used by Wizbang was blocking the link and it took several efforts to get a comment with that link published.

But you're an ASS so you assumed otherwise. Typical of a right wing moron.

But feel free to ignore the truth and just piss all over yourself instead.




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