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Finger in Butt Crack Sparks Knife Fight

There's no news like local news, and this is some local news I thought everyone might enjoy. Who among us wouldn't click the link to read a story headlined "Finger in Butt Crack Sparks Knife Fight?"

According to a police report, the unnamed suspect rubbed a finger along the victim's butt crack, prompting her to clench her buttocks. The victim claimed the clenching caused the bed she was sitting on to break, angering the suspect.

A fight ensued in which the suspect repeatedly hit the victim before grabbing a butcher knife and threatening to kill her. According to the report, the suspect said, "Are you ready to die?"

The alleged victim called police and the suspect fled, the report stated.

Officers found no visible injuries on the woman, who refused medical attention.

It was not immediately clear if police arrested the suspect.

No further information was available.

Proving they're willing to go the extra mile to ensure their readers had enough information, Fox 4 DFW was kind enough to include this stock photo.

butt_20090714102247_320_240.JPG

Frankly, if a woman is capable of collapsing a bed by clenching her buttocks I'd probably be inclined to hold her at bay with a butcher knife until I could flee too.


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Comments (14)

"Frankly, if a woman is cap... (Below threshold)
goddessoftheclassroom:

"Frankly, if a woman is capable of collapsing a bed by clenching her buttocks I'd probably be inclined to hold her at bay with a butcher knife until I could flee too."

LOL. Literally.

One question: How does Fox... (Below threshold)
Marc:

One question: How does Fox 4 DFW know lee ward?

One has to wonder what kind... (Below threshold)
jim m:

One has to wonder what kind of person could break a bed by clenching her butt cheeks. One also has to wonder what kind of person would want to touch that butt crack.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight. Got to go get a drink...

That reminds me, my refrige... (Below threshold)
Senor Cardgage:

That reminds me, my refrigerator needs repair.

These two appear to be prim... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

These two appear to be prime candidates for "America's Got Talent". Or maybe a guest visit on Maury.

BaronThere you go ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Baron

There you go publishing Lee Ward's face all over the site.

Let it go man, let it go.

MarkGreat minds th... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Mark

Great minds think alike.

So Lee got caught dealing c... (Below threshold)
914:

So Lee got caught dealing crack. Big deal.

Baron, you're assuming her ... (Below threshold)
Upset Old Guy:

Baron, you're assuming her butt clenching collapsed the bed, but the story says the bed "broke."

Now suppose that was a WATER BED. Think: Johnstown Flood. And I'm thinking that anyone, male or female, who can rupture a water bed bladder by clenching their butt cheeks is a very formidable person indeed. Drunk or sober, ask that person politely before rubbing any part of their body.

Where's the like button?</p... (Below threshold)
G.:

Where's the like button?

Butt cracks get really bad ... (Below threshold)
j. hanna:

Butt cracks get really bad treatment by the media. Their structure and function are natural, and essential. Plus, what would a person look like without one? The real problem, clothing, clearly is inadequate for what we humans ask it to do.

Butt cracks are essential -... (Below threshold)
Jim Addison:

Butt cracks are essential - form follows function.

But when touching a butt crack leads to a clenching violent enough to break a bed and subsequently to brandished knives . . .

Well, don't you just HATE it when that happens?

I wonder if She could bend ... (Below threshold)
914:

I wonder if She could bend a spoon with those cheek's?

Just curious.

What, no pictures??!!... (Below threshold)
OLDPUPPYMAX:

What, no pictures??!!




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