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Fishing For Fatwas

Dang it, I forgot to hit one stupid button and set this piece to publish at 11:00 this morning. Sorry, folks...

Islam is a religion of peace. Islam is the most peaceful and tolerant of all religions. Islam is the religion of civilization. There is no compulsion in Islam.

That's what we've been told, over and over again.

So let's give our Muslim brethren in the family of humanity an opportunity to demonstrate those fine, upstanding, noble qualities.

The following images are entirely original works of art, conceived of and carried out by me alone, with no assistance or guidance from any outside sources -- especially government grants. All supplies were purchased or otherwise obtained through my own labors for a non-governmental employer. Not a single tax penny went into these photographs, nor any foreign funds laundered either through the US Chamber of Commerce or the Obama presidential campaign.

I made 'em, I own 'em, and I'm damned proud of each and every one.

And if anyone might be offended by my creations, in which a Koran features prominently, then you are not only requested to not view the extended entry, but explicitly forbidden to do so. I will assume no responsibility for any offended sensibilities; you have been duly warned.

happy1.jpg




unhappy.jpg





approves.jpg





not approve.jpg

Disclaimers: no bacon was wasted in the production of these images (it was delicious). Yes, I've spent way too much time looking at LOLCats. May cause bacon envy, clogged arteries, and the heartbreak of psoriasis. Contact a doctor if rage lasts more than four hours.


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Comments (65)

More BACON!!!!!... (Below threshold)
TexBob:

More BACON!!!!!

Bacon - it's not just for i... (Below threshold)
teh Wind:

Bacon - it's not just for infidels anymore.

I love it!But wher... (Below threshold)
Sky Captain:

I love it!

But where's Mr. Ducky?

My only complaint is that y... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

My only complaint is that you didn't bring enough bacon to share with all you readers.

Mmm, perfect for 4chan. Is... (Below threshold)
BlueNight:

Mmm, perfect for 4chan. Is that what you were thinking?

You can put lipstick on a p... (Below threshold)
914:

You can put lipstick on a pig, but its still a pig..


Is that *real* bacon? Or t... (Below threshold)
JJ:

Is that *real* bacon? Or that imitation turkey crap?

Mr. Ducky must be the heir ... (Below threshold)
Captain Ned Author Profile Page:

Mr. Ducky must be the heir apparent. ;-)

You must be so proud of you... (Below threshold)
galoob:

You must be so proud of yourself, little Jay.

When is the Ducky beheading... (Below threshold)
914:

When is the Ducky beheading video scheduled for release?


Just kidding Ducky, dont worry.

I love it when conservative... (Below threshold)
Dane:

I love it when conservatives try to be "edgy" - they always come off looking like geeky morons.

"Islam is a religion of pea... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"Islam is a religion of peace. Islam is the most peaceful and tolerant of all religions. Islam is the religion of civilization. There is no compulsion in Islam."

And if you don't agree, we'll KILL you!

Okay, I am ready for negati... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

Okay, I am ready for negative votes, but Mr Tea, you have done better. I do give you kudos for claiming sole responsibility for the work. If you were Obama you would be blaming this on someone else.

They be beggin' for more ba... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

They be beggin' for more bacon. I think you could use a slice as a book mark also. ww

Dang it.We ... (Below threshold)
The Other Jay:


Dang it.

We just got you back from [that other place], and now your head's going to end up on a pole.

Your only suitable replacement is MKH.

You are required to cower in a cave somewhere in the various local granite crags, writing on a solar-powered laptop until you can secure her services for us.

Speaking of which..... If an outspoken, non-hijab-wearing woman (named HAM, of all insults) has not yet received Nick Berg-inization, you're likely out of range of the various nutballs.

I love it when conservat... (Below threshold)

I love it when conservatives try to be "edgy" - they always come off looking like geeky morons.

I knew Dane was stupid, but that has to be the worst misspelling of "whimsical" I've ever seen...

J.

JJ: 100% Oscar Mayer microw... (Below threshold)

JJ: 100% Oscar Mayer microwave bacon.

Sky Captain: Mr. Duckie mainly serves to "watermark" my photos as mine. Here, I didn't think it necessary -- he'd already established his presence in the setup photo.

J.

Come on Dane, galoob; we're... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Come on Dane, galoob; we're waiting for your keen insight on the previous thread!

You're actually IN DEMAND!

What do you know, Galude an... (Below threshold)
914:

What do you know, Galude and Dain post within 4 minutes of each other? That room better be clean or no Barney before bed boys.

Sorry J, it doesn't count u... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Sorry J, it doesn't count unless it is a "real" Koran. Maybe you could do a picture of Mohammed being intimate with Miss Piggy, or vice-versa. For a sound track I'd like to offer Warren Zevon's classic Mohammed's Radio.

mmmm, Bacon... (Below threshold)
Mycroft:

mmmm, Bacon

Doesnt appear to be catchin... (Below threshold)
914:

Doesnt appear to be catching on fire or anything so it must be kosher bacon.

Now thats really artistic J, how about an expression of when the bomb doesn't go off as planned?

@ Dane in #11:Barn... (Below threshold)
Sky Captain:

@ Dane in #11:

Barney must be off. I do hope your room is clean.

I love it when little trolls try to be "edgy" - they always come off looking like dumbasses.
Dane is Exhibit A.

Jay Tea,May Allah ... (Below threshold)
A US Musilm:

Jay Tea,

May Allah (God) guide you to the right path.

I am a little disappointed with the pictures, but bacon or no bacon, word of God is still unchanged and will remain unchanged.

Anyways, I looked up the translation by J. M. Rodwell (the one you have purchased). This translation is from 1861 and is not considered authentic translation. According to reviews, it is quite inaccurate!

I'd suggest you get a modern translation before you start your reading. The one I'd recommend is by M. H. Shakir. Online version is available at: http://www.muslimaccess.com/quraan/translations/shakir/001.htm

If you want, I can even get one shipped to you directly.

You have kept up the pictures promise, so I hope you will keep up 'reading Koran' promise as well :-)

"Silence Infidels, I kill y... (Below threshold)
Achmed The Dead Terrorist:

"Silence Infidels, I kill you!"

#24I dont know if ... (Below threshold)
914:

#24

I dont know if your for real or not but my God does not require you kill others because they disagree with you or him.

What does the "koran" promise? 72 virgins? No thanks! Gold, silver? No thanks! A life of peace inner or otherwise? NO!

I think this religion has it wires crossed somewheres and is shall we say lacking in decency in its treatment of Women and everyone else.

#26 - 914,I am for... (Below threshold)
A US Musilm:

#26 - 914,

I am for real; and I am not going to engage in childish arguments so I'd suggest the same to you.

Why don't you read the Quran first? Then gather the facts; then come back with your findings: .muslimaccess.com/quraan/translations/shakir/001.htm

You can put lipstick on ... (Below threshold)
David:

You can put lipstick on a pig, but its still a pig...

You can put bacon on a Koran, but it is still a Koran...

England is in on the... (Below threshold)
warchild:


England is in on the fun.

Christinas of course reacted peacefully.

An art gallery in Scotland has been attacked by the church after an exhibition inviting people to write messages on a Bible was met with "abuse" and "obscenity", including one person writing "f*** the bible".

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-13416.html/

Since all religious people are idiots I'm fine with it.

Jay,I'd be careful... (Below threshold)
SER:

Jay,

I'd be careful about taking #24's offer. Once he has your address, you're fatwa'ed.

Didn't see the sarcasm tag!... (Below threshold)
914:

Didn't see the sarcasm tag! lol

#30 - Lol... don't be so pa... (Below threshold)
A US Musilm:

#30 - Lol... don't be so paranoid. I love the term "fatwa'ed"... that is a good one :) You really made me laugh here.

You can take the koran out ... (Below threshold)
rodney dill:

You can take the koran out of the bacon, but you can't take the ham out of muhammad.

You ate the bacon? I hope t... (Below threshold)
rodney dill:

You ate the bacon? I hope there aren't any teeth marks on the Koran now... People will begin to think you don't know sh*t from fat meat.

You can take the spam off t... (Below threshold)
914:

You can take the spam off the koran but you cant take the crazies out of Islam

Warchild, did you rad the a... (Below threshold)
Rodney:

Warchild, did you rad the article or just the title? "The church itself had suggested the "interactive" Bible and pens,"as way to reach out to other individuals. The response of the Church was "Jane Clarke, a minister of the community church, said that she regretted the insults."

"A spokesman for the Church of Scotland said it condemned any sacrilegious act and stated: "We would discourage anyone from defacing the Bible."" and this is the same as beheading and fatwas? Guess us religious people aren't the only idiots.

Im not religious as in orga... (Below threshold)
914:

Im not religious as in organized religion. But I know there is a God and it is not the God of the cult koran.

Warinfant, whats your point? That because nutso's populate the cult of peace somehow equates to all other so called religions being guilty of fanaticism?


By the way that photo.. Cast your spam before the swine and you get a stinking pile of pig slop.

All warchilds generalize. T... (Below threshold)
John:

All warchilds generalize. Thanks for the thoughtful and intelligent post sure glad you're not a religious idiot, you're just a regular idiot.

Personally, I use newspaper... (Below threshold)
JLawson:

Personally, I use newspaper covered with a paper towel to drain my bacon. I find the grease just rolls off the cover of a paperback and makes a mess on the counter....

Re: A US MuslimI a... (Below threshold)
JSchuler:

Re: A US Muslim

I am not writing this to insult you, or treat you with any form of disrespect, but...

...You are not a Muslim.

In fact, no one is. All 1.6 billion who claim to be Muslim are not. They're all liars.

How do I know this?

Because Apostasy is punishable by death in Islam.

Just as, when a police officer comes to the door of someone who called 911, he cannot take that person's word that everything inside is fine, I cannot take your word that you believe a word of the Koran.

This wouldn't be a problem if travel was difficult, and you could live somewhere far away from other Muslims, and they could never reach you. Then, I would know that what you profess to be your faith is truly your faith, and not something imposed on you by threat of bodily harm. But these days, it is impossible.

If you want to spread Islam, then start among those who call themselves Muslim, and exterminate the concept of apostasy as a crime from your religion. Until that is done, Islam is only deceit, and that is all you spread.

It is unfortunate that the ... (Below threshold)
islamagood:

It is unfortunate that the human race after so many thousands of years still believes in gods, elves, goblins, witchcraft and the like. I don't attack Muslim beliefs any more than I disrespect those that hump donkeys as their religion. Your free to have whatever delusions you can imagine. I once knew a guy who had faith ("believed") that he was Abraham Lincoln. His family pretty much just went along with it because if you tried to convince him he wasn't who he believed he was he would get violent. Eventually, he climbed up on a building top and thought he was Peter pan. RIP Peter.

Great pickies,Woul... (Below threshold)
dozyDave:

Great pickies,

Would have looked awesome with some sort of nose/snout in there (maybe a real one)

And I do hope you used "halal" bacon LOL

#40 - JSchuler,No ... (Below threshold)
A US Musilm:

#40 - JSchuler,

No offence taken. Even if I am the only person on some distance planet, I will still choose Islam as my religion. Nobody has forced me to embrace Islam. It is purely by choice because Islam makes sense.

As far Apostasy and Islam go, Quran does not prescribe ANY punishment for apostasy. I suggest you read: http://www.islamicperspectives.com/Apostasy1.htm After that feel free to make up your mind on this topic.

I'd also like to clarify that I am not trying to preach Islam nor I am trying to convert anybody.

My sole request as a Muslim and an American is "As fair, just and rational Americans, we should uphold our values and read the Quran so it gets a fair review." Only then you will have every right to comment on the book any way you like. Is it too much to ask for?

OK... next a video of throw... (Below threshold)

OK... next a video of throwing shoes at a Koran.

Only then you will... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:
Only then you will have every right to comment on the book any way you like.

Actually, in the U.S., he has to right to comment without having read the book. You're certainly free to point out that he's uninformed. Legitimate rights precede any action.

I have a right to comment o... (Below threshold)
914:

I have a right to comment on anything I wish at anytime period. And no fairytale book is going to change that so stick it up your yahoo.

Warchild, did you... (Below threshold)
warchild:
Warchild, did you rad the article or just the title? "The church itself had suggested the "interactive" Bible and pens,"as way to reach out to other individuals. The response of the Church was "Jane Clarke, a minister of the community church, said that she regretted the insults."

"A spokesman for the Church of Scotland said it condemned any sacrilegious act and stated: "We would discourage anyone from defacing the Bible."" and this is the same as beheading and fatwas? Guess us religious people aren't the only idiots.

Sorry I didn't "rad" the article. I did read it though. If an American Muslim broke jay teas window (about the equivalent of the response from American Christians here.) You would be claiming it as proof Islam is not a religion of peace.

Basically you are one of those people, who if a radical christian kidnaps say a 14 year old girl in Utah because god told him too, you'd say nothing at all is wrong with Christianity. However if one crazed Muslim radical does one crazed radical thing you'd blame the whole of the Muslim religion.

Personally I think anyone who believes in an invisible sky king is nuts and generally find it amusing that two such sides think the other is crazy for having the audacity to believe in a different invisible sky king. But hey, worship whatever you want. I'll stick to reason.

Warchild, would you point o... (Below threshold)
Rodney:

Warchild, would you point out in the article where a window was broken? Or are you saying a Christian expousing displeasure is equivelent to breaking a window? Are you saying my disagreeing with you is a threat?

As a Christian I would not defend the kidnapping of a child, please show where I have done this. You seem to paint with the a broad brush there especially when you are complaining about that.

"Silence Infidels... I kill... (Below threshold)
Achmed The Dead Terrorist:

"Silence Infidels... I kill you...
'cept galoob, dane, warchild, A US Musilm... you guys OK by me."

As far Apostasy an... (Below threshold)
JSchuler:
As far Apostasy and Islam go, Quran does not prescribe ANY punishment for apostasy.
It does not matter what the Quran says. It matters what those who profess a Muslim faith do. Punishment for apostasy is enforced in Muslim states. Punishment for apostasy is enforced in Muslim communities. The most prominent organization in the US that claims to represent Muslims, CAIR, enforces punishment for apostasy.

If the Quran does not call for the punishment of Apostates in this life, it is all the more reason for you to endeavor to eradicate such practices.

Do not worry about what the unbelievers believe until you have your own house in order. The understanding of the unbelievers comes from the actions of those who profess the faith.

Warchild seriously, when a ... (Below threshold)
John:

Warchild seriously, when a christian does something terrible in the name of his religion we put them in jail and throw away the key, virtually no one dances in the street we look up on them like any other criminal. Can you seriously say the same for the islamic terriorts?
US muslim, I very much appreciate your sentiments here but have a few questions:
1. Iran is an islamic govenerment the laws they follow are islamic laws their treatment of women and homosexuals is barbaric. Is the ruling class mis informed on the Koran?
2. In this country we have seen honor killings in other countries ruled by islamic law they seem to be frequent, are these countries also mis reading the Koran?
3. There are imams in this country, UK, Saudi, Iran, Iraq etc that drip with hate and preach death and distruction of all infidels, instead of preaching to us, how about preaching to them. Are you willing to stand up and challenge these people? Most of us don't care what your religion is as long as you don't try to impose it on us. We also aren't interested in cleaning up the nastiness that surrounds much of your religion we think that should be up to people like you.

#50 - JSchuler<blockq... (Below threshold)
A US Muslim:

#50 - JSchuler

The most prominent organization in the US that claims to represent Muslims, CAIR, enforces punishment for apostasy.

Following quote is taken from: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=118038079441 (CAIRS Facebook Page)

Islam advocates both freedom of religion and freedom of conscience, a position supported by verses in the Quran

"If they turn away from thee (O Muhammad) they should know that We have not sent you to be their keeper. Your only duty is to convey My message." (42:48) - The Noble Quran

"Let there be no compulsion in religion." (2:256) - The Noble Quran

I don't see CAIR saying there is a punishment for Apostasy. Verses from Quran are also saying that people are free to choose whatever religion they like.

Makes me wonder where you are getting your information from?

I agree with you that the understanding of the unbelievers comes from the actions of those who profess the faith. You can blame the Muslims (followers), but not Islam (the religion). I am a Muslim, do my actions and the words you have read count?

We have examined t... (Below threshold)
Achmed The Dead Terrorist:
We have examined the theological foundation of Islam and found that Islam's established ruling is that apostates are to be killed wherever they are. The Quran implies this while the Hadith, Sira, and works of jurisprudence state it clearly. When the breadth and depth of Islam are examined this is the only conclusion that can be drawn.
I told you I kill you infidels.
Re: US Muslim:Acti... (Below threshold)
JSchuler:

Re: US Muslim:

Actions speak louder than words when it comes to CAIR. See their behavior in the Rifqa Bary case.

http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2009/12/rifqa-hearing-today-cairbary-lawyer-sue-for-rifqas-sumission-to-islam-and-christmas-card-ban.html

<a href="http://www.answeri... (Below threshold)
Achmed The Dead and html inept Terrorist:

http://www.answering-islam.org/Silas/apostasy.htm
Link broken above... sorry... I still kill you...

Jay Tea,May A... (Below threshold)
Dod David:
Jay Tea,

May Allah (God) guide you to the right path.

I am a little disappointed with the pictures, but bacon or no bacon, word of God is still unchanged and will remain unchanged.

Anyways, I looked up the translation by J. M. Rodwell (the one you have purchased). This translation is from 1861 and is not considered authentic translation. According to reviews, it is quite inaccurate!

I'd suggest you get a modern translation before you start your reading. The one I'd recommend is by M. H. Shakir. Online version is available at: http://www.muslimaccess.com/quraan/translations/shakir/001.htm

If you want, I can even get one shipped to you directly.

You have kept up the pictures promise, so I hope you will keep up 'reading Koran' promise as well :-)

It is true that the word of God (a.k.a. the Bible) is unchanged, but this thread isn't about the Bible. Jay doesn't use the word of God in his photos. Instead, he uses the Quran.

By the way, there is no official authentic English translation of the Quran. When I took my college course on Islam, I was told then that the only accurate version of the Quran was the original version written in Arabic.

As stated before, I am not ... (Below threshold)
A US Muslim:

As stated before, I am not going to engage in childish arguments.

I can also give you a million examples of people of other faith doing wrong things, justifications for Islam etc. etc., but at the end, I can be held accountable for only my own actions.

If you have problem with CAIR or any other Islamic/Non Islamic entity, please contact them directly.

This blog caught my eye because Jay Tea bought a Quran. So far all I have seen is a few pictures in an attempt to inflame tempers. Whats next?

#56 - Dod DavidWha... (Below threshold)
A US Muslim:

#56 - Dod David

What you said about Quran is absolutely right. The only authentic version is the Arabic version.

However, if one can not read and understand Arabic, logical choices are either to learn Arabic or buy a reputable translation.

I am a bit lost here because I did not mention Bible in any of my posts! What are you referring to?

US Muslim:I am not... (Below threshold)
JSchuler:

US Muslim:

I am not holding you accountable for CAIR's actions. I am saying that the actions of a significant and prominent population of people who profess to be Muslims makes it impossible for me to believe anyone who claims to follow Islam.

If there is no compulsion in Islam, then there is no Islam, as today compulsion runs rampant amongst those who claim to be Muslim.

So, if you want to spread Islam, it only makes sense that you go after those whose insistence on compulsion prevents Islam from existing at all.

Verses from Quran... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:
Verses from Quran are also saying that people are free to choose whatever religion they like.
Oh?

When a person in a Muslim nation converts from Islam to another faith, that person is targeted for execution either by the government or by the person's family.

Where do so many Muslims get the idea that it's acceptible to kill a person who converts from Islam to another faith?

David - If you read all my ... (Below threshold)
A US Muslim:

David - If you read all my posts, I have mentioned that Muslims demise is due to lack of education. Majority of born Muslims don't understand Islam themselves. A lot of times culture is mixed and interpreted as religion where as religion itself forbids the act.

As am example, if a person is ignorant, they can throw a diamond thinking it is just a coal. Now would you blame the diamond for this act or the person who does not know its value?

Also, just to be clear again. I am not preaching Islam here.

US Muslim,In my fi... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

US Muslim,

In my first post I said, "Jay doesn't use the word of God in his photos. Instead, he uses the Quran."

US Muslim asks people to re... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

US Muslim asks people to read the Quran themselves to see what it says.

I agree with this idea.

If you want to know what the Quran says about non-Muslims, then I invite you to read "Whither the Islamic Infidels?" written by ex-Muslim Abul Kasem.

Better yet, ex-Muslim Dr. Sami Alrabaa reveals the teachings of the Quran in his article "Is Islam a Violent Faith? Violence, Hatred and Discrimination in the Koran".

US Muslim mentions the "peaceful" verses in the Quran (which do exist), but he ignores the "violent" verses in the Quran.

While in my Islam class (taught by a Muslim from Saudi Arabia), I learned that the "peaceful" verses in the Quran were written by Mohammed in Mecca during Islam's beginning, while Mohammed lacked military strength.

After he fled to Medina and built his own army, Muhammed wrote the "violent" verses found in the Quran. Then Mohammed used his army to spread Islam by force.

Islam apologists in the USA would have us to read the "peaceful" verses in the Quran while ignoring the "violent" verses in the Quran, and while ignoring what Mohammed actually did in order to convert people to Islam. My Islam professor (a Muslim from Saudi Arabia) taught that Mohammed did use the sword to convert people to Islam.

Soooo, putting bacon on a b... (Below threshold)

Soooo, putting bacon on a building IS a hate crime, and putting a Qu'ran in a toilet IS a hate crime, but burying a non-Muslim kid in fecal matter is NOT a hate crime?

It's inarguable that seven year-old Zach Montero from Delaware was different enough from his attacker for police to at least investigate the "hate crime" motivations of the teen who abducted him and doused him with feces:
http://gravelle.us/content/non-muslim-boy-imprisoned-doused-fecal-matter

...even though prosecutors seem to be aggressively pursuing most of the possible charges against Magee Almadhrahi, we're still left to wonder (especially in the wake of the Tyler Clementi case) if a Caucasian can EVER be considered by the courts to be the victim of a so-called "hate crime":
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=2785

...when set upon by non-Caucasians.

The answer, so far, has been universally "No". The justice system seems to insist that white people, in particular STRAIGHT white people, can never be the victims of racially motivated crimes. They can only commit them..

That's a far worse injustice than bacon-graffiti...


-jjg

#63 - David.Thank ... (Below threshold)
A US Musilm:

#63 - David.

Thank you for agreeing with the point I have been trying to make.

Why rely on US Muslim, David, ex-Muslim Abul Kasem, Professor from Saudi Arabia, an Imam, your neighbor or anybody else?

Why not buy a copy or download free PDF from http://shadow.whiz-tech.com/quran/holyquran-english.pdf and read what "Evils" or "Good" Quran contains first hand?




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