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Get Into The Groove

Well, it seems that everyone's upset about the new airport security measures -- either the body scanners that essentially strip you naked, or the "patdowns" that pretty much equates to letting the security people get to second base with every passenger.

There's a lot of talk about how to best push back against this intrusion, and I've been thinking about it. The problem is, most of the ideas will get you in trouble.

The first thought I had was to start yelling about sexual assault when they touch you. But that will just get you hauled out of line and possibly arrested.

My second thought was to bring your own latex gloves and offer to return the favor. After all, one good grope deserves another, right?

Wrong. Again, that's a one-way trip to the security offices, and possibly jail.

Then I thought about turning it around and replying with a sexual come-on. "Baby, you make my package want to explode right here and now." But once again, that gets you to the head of the line for the body cavity search, and most of us (not that I'm judging!) are not into that.

Then it occurred to me. Go with the flow.

Remember Clayton Williams? He was the Republican who ran for governor of Texas against Ann Richards in 1990. He pretty much lost his race when he jokingly compared bad weather to rape: "If it's inevitable, just relax and enjoy it".

Well, in this case, go ahead and enjoy it. Really enjoy it. Moan. Sigh appreciatively. Get into it. If you have the guts, go ahead and pull a full Meg Ryan.

Think about it. What is the screener going to do? You're not resisting. You might be causing a scene, but all you have to do is say that you're really, really sensitive there and, plus, you think the screener's kinda cute.

This isn't the kindest thing to do to the poor screeners. After all, they aren't the ones who are setting the policy, they're just the poor schlubs stuck with enforcing it. But if we make it unpleasant enough for them, then they (through their union -- they shouldn't have a union, but since they do, let's try to make it work for us) might push back enough to get it changed.

Personally, I'm not planning any air travel until next summer, so this won't likely affect me -- I expect it will be resolved by that time. But I figured I'd toss out this little idea while it still might do some good.

So, come along. Have a blast. Wear your "O face" with pride. Get off before you get on. Get your rocks off before you get off the ground. Come together, right now.


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Comments (40)

I wonder if wearing a Nutty... (Below threshold)
TexBob:

I wonder if wearing a Nutty Buddy would cause problems....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C9aiWr0Vfg

Yes, I agree, JT. I think... (Below threshold)
galoob:

Yes, I agree, JT. I think you should moan in pleasure as you're frisked at the airport.

....the screener's kinda... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

....the screener's kinda cute.

Not. Possible. Ever.

A national 'opt-out' week. ... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

A national 'opt-out' week. NO FLYING.

That will get everyone's attention real fast.

I don't think it will be long before the 'opt-out' option of the scanner will be allowed.

After all, "You consented when you purchased a ticket".

Napalitano's idea of a comm... (Below threshold)
SkepticalOne:

Napalitano's idea of a community parade is the San Francisco gay pride parade, so her idea on sexual molesting passengers trying to get on airplanes shouldn't surprise us.

Looks like some animals are... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Looks like some animals are going to be 'more equal' than others.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/tsa-caves-on-molesting-pilots.html

1.Forbes has an article tod... (Below threshold)
Mel:

1.Forbes has an article today calling for elimination of the TSA--airlines have the most incentive to make flying safe, not a govt. Union.
2.A Rush caller suggested that this was jousting between the govt. and the air carriers. The air carriers know they may go the way of the car companies if they don't fully cooperate.
3.This is suspicious happening right before the Holiday season. Customers are right to complain, but a highlight on these stories now...?

3.This is suspicious happen... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

3.This is suspicious happening right before the Holiday season. Customers are right to complain, but a highlight on these stories now...?

The "new policy" is being rolled out now. So WHEN would a convenient time be to 'complain'?

If you go thru the scanners... (Below threshold)
Roy:

If you go thru the scanners, they'll leave your junk alone. But, be sure do the "Spinal Tap" thing with the cucumber.

Looks like some animals ... (Below threshold)
galoob:

Looks like some animals are going to be 'more equal' than others.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/tsa-caves-on-molesting-pilots.html

Since pilots always have the means of crashing the plane and are presumably trusted with not crashing it, exempting them makes sense to me.

Weren't people agitating to allow pilots to carry guns into the cockpit, too?

Oh yeah, GarandFan was among them:

Mr President, should an airliner get hijacked, and those aboard killed AND it is discovered the pilot and copilot used to be armed; WHAT WILL YOU DO? Will you resign your office? You like to talk about acts having CONSEQUENCES. Are YOU willing to suffer the CONSEQUENCES?

............crickets chirping..................

4. Posted by GarandFan | March 17, 2009 11:03 PM

http://wizbangblog.com/content/2009/03/17/barack-obama-ending-progam-that-allows-pilots-to-carry-guns.php

WTF. It's just a 5-minute g... (Below threshold)
Barak2012:

WTF. It's just a 5-minute grope session that's probably more uncomfortable for the TSA personnel. I am scratching my head.

Any your point is galoob? ... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Any your point is galoob? It is pretty fucking stupid to subject the guy WHO IS GOING TO FLY THE DAMNED PLANE to the same strictures as the passengers.

How about the crew?

Okay they get a pass. Too many exposures. Then how about people who fly often? How about people undergoing chemo?

Seems you were the one complaining about terrorists being treated badly and not afforded their Constitutional Rights at trail. Now people think their rights are being violated, but you're okay with that?

"I am scratching my head."<... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"I am scratching my head."

Better to scratch your ass. That's where your brains are.

Any your point is galoob... (Below threshold)
galoob:

Any your point is galoob? It is pretty fucking stupid to subject the guy WHO IS GOING TO FLY THE DAMNED PLANE to the same strictures as the passengers.

Oh, forgive me. I thought that when you used the "some animals are going to be 'more equal' than others" quote from Animal Farm you were complaining about pilots not being screened, and being "more equal than others." How could I have taken it that way?

Now people think their rights are being violated, but you're okay with that?

Yeah, being frisked or going through a scanner when you fly is just like being tortured and locked up forever without any kind of trial, my bad.

galoobJust curious... (Below threshold)
retired military:

galoob

Just curious.

Should officials be able to search kids school lockers without a warrant?

Should officials be able... (Below threshold)
galoob:

Should officials be able to search kids school lockers without a warrant?

Why, is there a problem with kids planting bombs in school lockers?

I'm amazed by the cavalier ... (Below threshold)
Mike:

I'm amazed by the cavalier approach to this abuse of power and diminishment of our rights as Americans. There were zero hijackings or other incidents from September 12, 2001 to October 31, 2010 -- the system was working! There is no need for the TSA to view us nude or do grope searches to get on an airplane.

Please contact your Senator before Wednesday's hearing on this topic and let them know it is time to curb the TSA's abuses.

There were zero hijackin... (Below threshold)
galoob:

There were zero hijackings or other incidents from September 12, 2001 to October 31, 2010

Richard Reid "the shoe bomber" and Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab "the underpants bomber" would disagree there were no "other incidents."

Those bombings were avoided only through their incompetence or poor design, NOT because "the system was working."

The new scanner and frisking policy is directed towards the low metal content bomb.

"some animals are going to ... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"some animals are going to be 'more equal' than others"

I'm sorry, forgot who I was dealing with.

There is now a push for pilots to be exempted from the full body scan. Because SUDDENLY someone at TSA realized 'these guys FLY the plane'.

These guys do this almost every day. Sometimes more than once a day. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! You don't suppose it might be dangerous for them to be getting this many xrays?

Rather than admit they rushed a new technology out and just as SUDDENLY went to 'grope a passenger' to force everyone to use the scan - now it's explained that the pilots don't need the scan because 'pilots actually fly the planes they get on'.

Drink all the Kool Aid you want galoob. Just remember. The POLITICIAN who told you 'the system worked' is the same one telling you the full body scan 'is perfectly safe'.

Will Bruno be getting the full body scan each time she gets on an aircraft?

Ah, but the more pertinent ... (Below threshold)
Rick Caird:

Ah, but the more pertinent question, galoogaboob is if any of the TSA procedures, ever, have been successful in stopping a terrorist plot. At the moment, I cannot think of one. So, the two bombers you mentioned got on the airplanes in spite of foreign security and it is equally unlikely TSA would have caught them.

I can't understand why anyo... (Below threshold)
tomg51:

I can't understand why anyone would carry a bomb onto a plane when you can easily ship it on another plane. Not that I understand terrorists or their handlers.

But it does seem that cargo, not people, is where to put incremental resources.

"But it does seem that carg... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"But it does seem that cargo, not people, is where to put incremental resources."

Haven't you heard Tom? TSA is starting a 'list'. You can't ship toner cartridges by air any longer. The list will be added to as terrorists find other objects to put bombs in.

"So, whats in the tube, sir... (Below threshold)
tomg51:

"So, whats in the tube, sir?"
"Galoob"
"That won't be necessary, we're using the scanner today"

Hey galoob, would you and B... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Hey galoob, would you and Bruno get together and get your stories straight?

"The new scanner and frisking policy is directed towards the low metal content bomb."

18. Posted by galoob

Bruno, quoted at Reagan International TODAY.

"I really regret that," Napolitano said of the proposed boycott. "Our evaluation of the intelligence and risk indicated that we needed to move more quickly into the non-metal environment, to get liquids and powders and gels off of aircraft."

I just don't remember you n... (Below threshold)
Barak2012:

I just don't remember you neo-cons this up in arms over the Patriot Act. That's all.

Now, scratching my ass at GarandFan's suggestion. I'm thinking that, in the future, some TSA dude will do it for me. Life keeps getting easier under my president (and yours).

"Life keeps getting easier ... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"Life keeps getting easier under my president (and yours)."

Yep, don't have to THINK at all. Barry does it for you. No worries. Barry will provide.

I say eat a can of beans or... (Below threshold)
DEnisej:

I say eat a can of beans or chili before going to the airport.

Barry will provide.<... (Below threshold)
Barak2012:

Barry will provide.

Now, you're getting in the groove. Just let it happen, GarandFan. Consistency is good.

But, I remember Barak2012 b... (Below threshold)
Rick Caird:

But, I remember Barak2012 being up in arms over the patriot act. The left was concerned about libraries and wiretapping of conversations with known terrorist is foreign countries. However, I don't recall any mention in the Patriot Act of fondling US citizens genitals.

Either I missed that, or Barak2012 is a complete idiot who is incapable of discerning even the most massive of differences. Oh wait, anyone who calls himself "Barak 2012" is clearly unable to discern differences or success and failure.

I saw a bumper sticker this weekend which seems particualrly appropriate:

2012 - End of an error.

So we're to be groped by a ... (Below threshold)
JJ:

So we're to be groped by a same-sex TSA agent, that's because of the near-sexual aspect of the groping, I suppose. So what will happen when I opt out of the scanner, and insist on a heterosexual same-sex agent? Will I be refused that request? Will I be sued? How will they prove that the agent is straight? I don't want to be groped like that by a man (unless it's my idea....ahem...) and I sure as heck don't want to be groped by a lesbian, bi, or transgender chick.

GaloobAs usual you... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Galoob

As usual you just try to dodge a question with a red herring.

It is a valid question and pertinent to the discussion.

In answer to your question lets see

There have been kids bringing guns to school. There have been kids that brought bombs to school. Remember columbine.

In addition, there have been more gun incidents in school than terror incidents involving planes in the last 10 years.

So now that I answered your dodge then please answer the question.

Yes or no, are you in favor of school administrators and or the police searching kids lockers in school without a search warrant? Easy enough question to understand.

Should school administrators and or police officials be able to search kids going to school the same way that TSA agents search passengers getting on planes?

After all, both are in a public place, and both have a possibility of a high number of casualties. Both could be considered for public safety. And with schools being no gun zones they are soft targets.


S

After all, both are in a... (Below threshold)
Barak2012:

After all, both are in a public place, and both have a possibility of a high number of casualties.

Am I missing something here? Are they flying school buildings into skyscrapers now? That's why I come here. To learn.

Also noted in one of the ar... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Also noted in one of the articles today that the new technology 'was rushed out'.

Gee, hope there were no safety shortcuts while this new technology was 'rushed'.

But, I remember Barak201... (Below threshold)
Barak2012:

But, I remember Barak2012 being up in arms over the patriot act.

True. You caught me. I confess that I am a bit of an inconsistent dullard at times. I was indeed upset over the Patriot Act. I admit that I am concerned that Patriot Act powers have already been used in non-terrorism related cases. Here's some interesting reading: http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/tag/inspector-general/

So, you're right. If I were consistent, I would be indignant about this additional breach of my privacy. And I am going to give this some candid consideration. I honestly don't think it's a big deal. But, perhaps I should.

Now. How about your confession? I mean, at least be consistent in your thoughts about this: That same Patriot Act that you so loved under Bush, is now being wielded by someone you don't particularly love.

Looks like a lot of people ... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Looks like a lot of people have an interest in 'scanners'. And I can see how they got 'rushed'. The first contracts where let 3 days after the diaper bomber failed to go off.

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/politics/_Naked-scanners__-Lobbyists-join-the-war-on-terror-1540901-107548388.html

Oh, and Bruno's assertion that 'we don't keep files of images'.....guess someone forgot to tell the US Marshal's Service. They've stored THOUSANDS so far. So who do I believe, Bruno or the Marshal's. Let's just say the scanners "must have the ability to store, access and transmit pictures".

barack2012 "I am here to le... (Below threshold)
retired military:

barack2012 "I am here to learn"

Just wait until 2012 and you will get a nice lesson in humility. And believe me. You need it.

So, come along. Have a b... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

So, come along. Have a blast. Wear your "O face" with pride. Get off before you get on. Get your rocks off before you get off the ground. Come together, right now...

...over me. (Just to get the sexual allusion it's full due)

Should officials be able... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

Should officials be able to search kids school lockers without a warrant?

Why, is there a problem with kids planting bombs in school lockers?

That, as well as guns, knives, etc. Not like THAT'S ever happened before, no siree.

Am I missing something h... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

Am I missing something here? Are they flying school buildings into skyscrapers now? That's why I come here. To learn.

No, you've come here to sound like a fucking idiot, which you have excelled in.

The focus of all of this is... (Below threshold)
MF:

The focus of all of this is off.

There needs to be better solution to protecting travelers without causing awkward situations.
what do they do in other country's where their risks have been reduced?
Isnt intelligence information and acting on suspicious people in the environment more beneficial?

Security is only so good.




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