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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin

Published: November 19, 2010 - 7:00 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:


A TSA employee conducts one the new enhanced searches


Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

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Rating: 4.8/5 (9 votes cast)

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Comments (221)

Looking for terrorists in a... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by jim2 | November 19, 2010 7:24 AM | Score: 20 (24 votes cast)
jim2:

Looking for terrorists in all the wrong places.

1. Posted by jim2 | November 19, 2010 7:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 20 (24 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:24

They call him the "Junk Man... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:29 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
fustian:

They call him the "Junk Man".

2. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:29

Stay in School!... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 7:30 AM | Score: 5 (7 votes cast)
IowaRight:

Stay in School!

3. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 7:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (7 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:30

Hillary gets her stones che... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:31 AM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
fustian:

Hillary gets her stones checked on the way back to Washington.

4. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:31

*cough* Boldly going where ... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Prairie | November 19, 2010 7:36 AM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Prairie:

*cough* Boldly going where no man should go.

5. Posted by Prairie | November 19, 2010 7:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:36

♬ Hey Mr. TS... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:36 AM | Score: 8 (12 votes cast)
fustian:

♬
Hey Mr. TSA-man, touch-a my banana.
Daylight comes and I wanna go home.
♬

6. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 8 (12 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:36

According to Grey's Anatomy... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
fustian:

According to Grey's Anatomy, I am only modestly oversized...

7. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:37

Joe always looked forward t... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
IowaRight:

Joe always looked forward to his lunch break, never more than these days, but he can't even look at his old favorite, hot dogs...

8. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:37

Now turn your head and coug... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by yetanotherjohn | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

Now turn your head and cough sir.

9. Posted by yetanotherjohn | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:37

Are you sure you're in the ... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
fustian:

Are you sure you're in the right line, Mr. Obama?

10. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:37

Day in and day out, it was ... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by yetanotherjohn | November 19, 2010 7:38 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

Day in and day out, it was the same old job. But then something changed and each day became a new adventure.

11. Posted by yetanotherjohn | November 19, 2010 7:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:38

Is that a bomb in your unde... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:39 AM | Score: 16 (20 votes cast)
fustian:

Is that a bomb in your underwear, or are you just glad to see me?

12. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 16 (20 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:39

You must be from the IRS. I... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:40 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
fustian:

You must be from the IRS. I recognize the paws on my junk.

13. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:40

"mmm, I see you're half Chi... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by SideShowJane | November 19, 2010 7:42 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
SideShowJane:

"mmm, I see you're half Chinese."

14. Posted by SideShowJane | November 19, 2010 7:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:42

I just can't find any Mr Pr... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by olsoljer | November 19, 2010 7:42 AM | Score: 7 (15 votes cast)
olsoljer:

I just can't find any Mr President, but your wife has two.

15. Posted by olsoljer | November 19, 2010 7:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 7 (15 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:42

TSA applications from gays ... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:43 AM | Score: 12 (22 votes cast)
fustian:

TSA applications from gays and lesbians have gone through the roof!

16. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 12 (22 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:43

Grandma sure as hell better... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by smitch | November 19, 2010 7:44 AM | Score: 13 (21 votes cast)
smitch:

Grandma sure as hell better be putting something good on the table to make this worthwhile.

17. Posted by smitch | November 19, 2010 7:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 13 (21 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:44

"Dang Hillary... You've got... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:45 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"Dang Hillary... You've got the biggest balls I've ever...."

18. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:45

The entire TSA approach to ... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:45 AM | Score: 6 (8 votes cast)
fustian:

The entire TSA approach to screening is based on science...junk science!

19. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 6 (8 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:45

Let's just remove that junk... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Larry | November 19, 2010 7:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Larry:

Let's just remove that junk there for ya...

20. Posted by Larry | November 19, 2010 7:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:47

Touch my junk and I'll wipe... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:48 AM | Score: 3 (7 votes cast)
fustian:

Touch my junk and I'll wipe that little pervert smile off your defective little government union face!

21. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (7 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:48

"SHRINKAGE!!!"... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:49 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"SHRINKAGE!!!"

22. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:49

Bad time to lose your milit... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:50 AM | Score: 3 (7 votes cast)
fustian:

Bad time to lose your military plane, Ms. Pelosi.

23. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (7 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:50

Joe's favorite greeting, "H... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 7:52 AM | Score: 6 (12 votes cast)
IowaRight:

Joe's favorite greeting, "How's it Hangin'?" seems somehow inappropriate these days...

24. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 7:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 6 (12 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:52

An aide is seen attempting ... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by iwogisdead | November 19, 2010 7:53 AM | Score: 2 (10 votes cast)
iwogisdead:

An aide is seen attempting to retrive Joe Biden's head.

25. Posted by iwogisdead | November 19, 2010 7:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (10 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:53

"Is that a Pipe bomb in you... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Rick13 | November 19, 2010 7:53 AM | Score: 5 (9 votes cast)
Rick13:

"Is that a Pipe bomb in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

"It's a Pipe bomb!"

26. Posted by Rick13 | November 19, 2010 7:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (9 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:53

TSA: Touching Scrotums Ador... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:54 AM | Score: 13 (19 votes cast)
fustian:

TSA: Touching Scrotums Adoringly.

27. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 13 (19 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:54

"My qualifications?.. Well ... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:55 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"My qualifications?.. Well I used to be a Moyel..."

28. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:55

Perhaps that should be "Lor... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:56 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
fustian:

Perhaps that should be "Lord" Gaga..

29. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 7:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:56

♬Whatcha go... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:56 AM | Score: 5 (7 votes cast)
rodney dill:

♬
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
all that junk inside your trunk
♬

30. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (7 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:56

"I wish I could quit you."<... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:57 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"I wish I could quit you."

31. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:57

Bags fly free... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:58 AM | Score: 12 (16 votes cast)
rodney dill:

Bags fly free

32. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 12 (16 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:58

Fly the Friendly Skies... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:58 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
rodney dill:

Fly the Friendly Skies

33. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 07:58

OK, one last time, sir, but... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:00 AM | Score: 23 (25 votes cast)
Faith+1:

OK, one last time, sir, but you've been through the line 4 times now....

34. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 23 (25 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:00

You are now free to moan ab... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:01 AM | Score: 9 (13 votes cast)
rodney dill:

You are now free to moan about the country.

35. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 9 (13 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:01

Plane ticket: $250Lu... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:01 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Plane ticket: $250
Luggage: $25
Happy Ending: $10

36. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:01

It was embarrassing and hum... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:03 AM | Score: 20 (22 votes cast)
Faith+1:

It was embarrassing and humiliating, but John had to admit that this was still better sex than he was getting at home.

37. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 20 (22 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:03

Just looking for suspicious... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:03 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

Just looking for suspicious packages sir.

38. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:03

Fly the Over Friendly Skies... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 8:03 AM | Score: 2 (6 votes cast)
fustian:

Fly the Over Friendly Skies.

39. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 8:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:03

OK, sir, push real hard and... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:04 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Faith+1:

OK, sir, push real hard and maybe my hand will come loose....

40. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:04

Yeah....right there....... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:04 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

Yeah....right there....

41. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:04

We Know Why You Fly!... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 8:05 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
fustian:

We Know Why You Fly!

42. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 8:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:05

New York Post: "Defrocked P... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:05 AM | Score: -3 (17 votes cast)
Faith+1:

New York Post: "Defrocked Priest Finds New Career"

43. Posted by Faith+1 | November 19, 2010 8:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: -3 (17 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:05

I should have listened to m... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

I should have listened to my mother and gone to law school.

44. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:05

"Checking your bag" takes o... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by Bluegrasspundit | November 19, 2010 8:07 AM | Score: 8 (12 votes cast)
Bluegrasspundit:

"Checking your bag" takes on a whole new meaning.

45. Posted by Bluegrasspundit | November 19, 2010 8:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 8 (12 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:07

Total Scrotum <... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:07 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

Total Scrotum Action

46. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:07

geez sir we're gonna have t... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:10 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

geez sir we're gonna have to charge you extra to bring THAT on board.

47. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:10

Touch Sacks & Ass... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:11 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
rodney dill:

Touch Sacks & Ass

48. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:11

Told ya it was bigger than ... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:11 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

Told ya it was bigger than Favre's.

49. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:11

The Long Arm of the Law.</p... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by dfbaskwill | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
dfbaskwill:

The Long Arm of the Law.

50. Posted by dfbaskwill | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:13

Janet Napolitano shows the ... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by Dude | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Dude:

Janet Napolitano shows the media that receiving an enhanced pat-down is not humiliating at all.

51. Posted by Dude | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:13

"...and just what do we hav... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"...and just what do we have here?"
"Uh... Depends."

52. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:13

Hmmm. . . . feels like a su... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by Mark L | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Mark L:

Hmmm. . . . feels like a suspicious package to me.

53. Posted by Mark L | November 19, 2010 8:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:13

Watch al Qaeda send some lo... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 8:15 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
fustian:

Watch al Qaeda send some loser with a printer cartridge up his butt just to mess with us.

54. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 8:15 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:15

"Once I get this alignment ... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by JLawson | November 19, 2010 8:15 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
JLawson:

"Once I get this alignment done, we'll get you on the rack for a lube job, okay?

"Next time, sweetie, I think the lube job should come first!"

55. Posted by JLawson | November 19, 2010 8:15 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:15

And we thought that the gov... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by docjim505 | November 19, 2010 8:26 AM | Score: 10 (14 votes cast)
docjim505:

And we thought that the government was jerking us around before...

56. Posted by docjim505 | November 19, 2010 8:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 10 (14 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:26

If I said I was gay, would ... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by Brad | November 19, 2010 8:28 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Brad:

If I said I was gay, would I get a female officer for this?

57. Posted by Brad | November 19, 2010 8:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:28

They told me if I voted for... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by Brad | November 19, 2010 8:30 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Brad:

They told me if I voted for McCain I'd have facsist federal security forces checking my underwear and they were right!

58. Posted by Brad | November 19, 2010 8:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 6 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:30

Package...package...I don't... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:31 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

Package...package...I don't got to show you any stinkin' package...

59. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:31

"When we're finished, may I... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by Tom Blogical | November 19, 2010 8:31 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

"When we're finished, may I have a cigarette?"

60. Posted by Tom Blogical | November 19, 2010 8:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:31

Is this a bomb or are you j... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by Brad | November 19, 2010 8:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brad:

Is this a bomb or are you just happy to see me?

61. Posted by Brad | November 19, 2010 8:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:31

"Hmmm... do you have my Tht... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:32 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"Hmmm... do you have my Thtapler?"

62. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 8:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:32

Obama "if you are looking f... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 8:33 AM | Score: 5 (7 votes cast)
retired military:

Obama "if you are looking for Lee Ward or galoob it will be a lot easier if I turn around"

63. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 8:33 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (7 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:33

no no no - I said Pull My... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:34 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

no no no - I said Pull My Finger!

64. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 8:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:34

Screener "I dont care what ... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 8:36 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
retired military:

Screener "I dont care what you say Mr Prssident. I still say Bush's were 10 times the size of yours".

65. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 8:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:36

"How do you like the new Ob... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:36 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
zipity:

"How do you like the new Obama Stimulus Plan sir....?"

66. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:36

"Hey, this is kinda like Sa... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:37 AM | Score: 2 (6 votes cast)
zipity:

"Hey, this is kinda like Sarah Palin.....I can almost see Uranus from here...."

67. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:37

"Yup, it looks like the bal... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:38 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
zipity:

"Yup, it looks like the ball-joints are shot, we'll have to replace them, maybe the struts too...."

68. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:38

"Well sir, you ain't no Joh... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by xiphos | November 19, 2010 8:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
xiphos:

"Well sir, you ain't no Johnny Holmes."

69. Posted by xiphos | November 19, 2010 8:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:39

"Don't crush that dwarf. Ha... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:39 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
zipity:

"Don't crush that dwarf. Hand me the pliers..."

70. Posted by zipity | November 19, 2010 8:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:39

warm thanksgiving greetings... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by rbee | November 19, 2010 8:56 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
rbee:

warm thanksgiving greetings from your tsa public servant..remember to remove your "giblets" before you baste your bird!

71. Posted by rbee | November 19, 2010 8:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:56

Are you expected to tip the... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by Roy | November 19, 2010 8:57 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Roy:

Are you expected to tip the bag handlers?

72. Posted by Roy | November 19, 2010 8:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:57

The terrorists have won.</p... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by Roy | November 19, 2010 8:58 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Roy:

The terrorists have won.

73. Posted by Roy | November 19, 2010 8:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 08:58

Fear not, sir, I'm a traine... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by clear mind | November 19, 2010 9:00 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
clear mind:

Fear not, sir, I'm a trained molester. Want to see my NAMBLA certification?

74. Posted by clear mind | November 19, 2010 9:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:00

Uh...this isn't the line fo... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by tomg51 | November 19, 2010 9:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tomg51:

Uh...this isn't the line for Hudson News, is it?

75. Posted by tomg51 | November 19, 2010 9:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:00

The IRS tests using TSA age... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by tomg51 | November 19, 2010 9:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tomg51:

The IRS tests using TSA agents for income tax audits

76. Posted by tomg51 | November 19, 2010 9:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:03

"Sorry, Mr. Aylward, but we... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by Jay Tea | November 19, 2010 9:05 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Jay Tea:

"Sorry, Mr. Aylward, but we have reports that you might be concealing the winners to a caption contest on your person..."

J.

77. Posted by Jay Tea | November 19, 2010 9:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:05

uh...silk boxers...why do y... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 9:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

uh...silk boxers...why do you ask?

78. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 9:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:07

"Aren'tcha gonna buy be din... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 9:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"Aren'tcha gonna buy be dinner first?"

79. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 9:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:09

"Hey Anne, come look, is th... (Below threshold)

80. Posted by Darin H | November 19, 2010 9:12 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Darin H:

"Hey Anne, come look, is this too small to be considered a weapon?"

80. Posted by Darin H | November 19, 2010 9:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:12

"Badges? We don't need no s... (Below threshold)

81. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 9:14 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges."

81. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 9:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:14

Geez, these searches are le... (Below threshold)

82. Posted by Maggie Mama | November 19, 2010 9:14 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Maggie Mama:

Geez, these searches are lending new meaning to the phrase "Don't ask, don't tell."

82. Posted by Maggie Mama | November 19, 2010 9:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:14

"Since when did the TSA mov... (Below threshold)

83. Posted by Maggie Mama | November 19, 2010 9:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie Mama:

"Since when did the TSA move these 'pat downs' into the men's room?"

83. Posted by Maggie Mama | November 19, 2010 9:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:16

Excuse me, but I thought th... (Below threshold)

84. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 9:17 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
fustian:

Excuse me, but I thought this was America.

84. Posted by fustian | November 19, 2010 9:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:17

"President Obama asked me t... (Below threshold)

85. Posted by Marie | November 19, 2010 9:18 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Marie:

"President Obama asked me to look in here for his missing testicles."

85. Posted by Marie | November 19, 2010 9:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:18

Congressman Barney Frank ha... (Below threshold)

86. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 9:19 AM | Score: 13 (15 votes cast)
retired military:

Congressman Barney Frank has become the most frequent flyer in the country (at taxpayer expense of course).

86. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 9:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 13 (15 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:19

Grope and change!... (Below threshold)

87. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 9:20 AM | Score: 19 (23 votes cast)
914:

Grope and change!

87. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 9:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 19 (23 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:20

Congratulations you pass th... (Below threshold)

88. Posted by Dan Melson | November 19, 2010 9:20 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Dan Melson:

Congratulations you pass the inspection! Now hold still one moment for the brand that marks you as official government property

88. Posted by Dan Melson | November 19, 2010 9:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:20

Sir, have you been in contr... (Below threshold)

89. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 9:24 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
IowaRight:

Sir, have you been in control of your bag since you packed it?

89. Posted by IowaRight | November 19, 2010 9:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:24

Thought bubble: "I used to ... (Below threshold)

90. Posted by Gmac | November 19, 2010 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmac:

Thought bubble: "I used to have to buy a dinner and drinks to get to second base..."

90. Posted by Gmac | November 19, 2010 9:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:28

Being a gay flier just beca... (Below threshold)

91. Posted by Gmac | November 19, 2010 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmac:

Being a gay flier just became a lot more fun.

91. Posted by Gmac | November 19, 2010 9:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:28

"Should I turn my head and ... (Below threshold)

92. Posted by Gmac | November 19, 2010 9:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmac:

"Should I turn my head and cough?"

92. Posted by Gmac | November 19, 2010 9:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:29

Sir, I see you've had your ... (Below threshold)

93. Posted by Joe Miller | November 19, 2010 9:33 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Joe Miller:

Sir, I see you've had your tonsils removed...and you have a deviated septum.

93. Posted by Joe Miller | November 19, 2010 9:33 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:33

OK, when we're done here I ... (Below threshold)

94. Posted by itismedavid | November 19, 2010 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
itismedavid:

OK, when we're done here I am going to need to to turn around, bend over and grab your ankles...

94. Posted by itismedavid | November 19, 2010 9:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:37

Obama's got us by the nads,... (Below threshold)

95. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | November 19, 2010 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Obama's got us by the nads, both figuratively and literally.

95. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | November 19, 2010 9:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:43

"Hmmmm, when the job descri... (Below threshold)

96. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 9:45 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"Hmmmm, when the job description said, 'Work in the Netherlands,' I didn't know this is what it meant."

96. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 9:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:45

Isn't there an app for this... (Below threshold)

97. Posted by CDR M | November 19, 2010 9:58 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
CDR M:

Isn't there an app for this?

97. Posted by CDR M | November 19, 2010 9:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 09:58

"I'm sorry, Congressman Fra... (Below threshold)

98. Posted by Jay | November 19, 2010 10:04 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Jay:

"I'm sorry, Congressman Frank, but my hand's stuck."

"Sorry?"

98. Posted by Jay | November 19, 2010 10:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:04

I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but ... (Below threshold)

99. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:04 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
guido:

I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but your package is too large for carry on.....unless you think you can slip it under the seat in front of you without blocking the aisle.

99. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:04

Well sir, if you'd only wor... (Below threshold)

100. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:06 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
guido:

Well sir, if you'd only worn your turban, then none of this would have been necessary.

100. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:06

Is this really necessary? I... (Below threshold)

101. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 10:11 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jeff:

Is this really necessary? I just came to 7-11 to get the President his slurpee...

101. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 10:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:11

On a positive note, the nat... (Below threshold)

102. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:11 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
guido:

On a positive note, the nation is benefitting from a significant improvement in the early detection of testicular cancer....likely caused by airport x-ray screening equipment.

102. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:11

"I'll get your head loose n... (Below threshold)

103. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 10:11 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"I'll get your head loose now any minute, Mr. President."

103. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 10:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:11

Is this a box cutter in you... (Below threshold)

104. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
guido:

Is this a box cutter in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

104. Posted by guido | November 19, 2010 10:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:14

Just. Lean. Forward.... (Below threshold)

105. Posted by teh Wind | November 19, 2010 10:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
teh Wind:

Just. Lean. Forward.

105. Posted by teh Wind | November 19, 2010 10:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:18

YES WE CAN!... (Below threshold)

106. Posted by Timmer | November 19, 2010 10:18 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Timmer:

YES WE CAN!

106. Posted by Timmer | November 19, 2010 10:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:18

"Just take a deep breath an... (Below threshold)

107. Posted by GarandFan | November 19, 2010 10:20 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
GarandFan:

"Just take a deep breath and say OBAMA!"

107. Posted by GarandFan | November 19, 2010 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:20

In the aftermath of the Sal... (Below threshold)

108. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 10:20 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jeff:

In the aftermath of the Salahi security breach, Whitehouse Thanksgiving guests are required to pass thru a more in depth security checkpoint

108. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:20

Yes Senator Craig, it IS ir... (Below threshold)

109. Posted by Timmer | November 19, 2010 10:22 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Timmer:

Yes Senator Craig, it IS ironic. That was funnier the first 12 times you came through.

109. Posted by Timmer | November 19, 2010 10:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:22

Clyde was optimistic that h... (Below threshold)

110. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 10:29 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jeff:

Clyde was optimistic that he would finally see a benefit from his long hours of using the Shake Weight

110. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 10:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:29

"Why are you laughing Mr. B... (Below threshold)

111. Posted by Matt | November 19, 2010 10:30 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Matt:

"Why are you laughing Mr. Bond?"

"Because the whole world will know you died scratching my Balls!"

111. Posted by Matt | November 19, 2010 10:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:30

Obamacare reduces the cost ... (Below threshold)

112. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:48 AM | Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
retired military:

Obamacare reduces the cost of health care by having hernia and prostrate exams done by TSA screeners.

112. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 8 (10 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:48

"Guys, come quick! I think... (Below threshold)

113. Posted by lisa | November 19, 2010 10:50 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
lisa:

"Guys, come quick! I think I found Osama Bin Laden!"

113. Posted by lisa | November 19, 2010 10:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:50

The TSA screening procedure... (Below threshold)

114. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:50 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
retired military:

The TSA screening procedures gives new meaning to the phrase "So far up their ass"

114. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:50

Screener "I'm so good I can... (Below threshold)

115. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:51 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
retired military:

Screener "I'm so good I can tell you what you had for breakfast"

115. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:51

TSA Screeners demaneded a p... (Below threshold)

116. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:52 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
retired military:

TSA Screeners demaneded a pay raise saying "hookers get paid $50 per customer and all we get is $20 an hour."

116. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:52

This gives new meaning to p... (Below threshold)

117. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:53 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
retired military:

This gives new meaning to passengers moaning about service at the airport.

117. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:53

Okay Gore... I know you got... (Below threshold)

118. Posted by BluesHarper | November 19, 2010 10:53 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
BluesHarper:

Okay Gore... I know you got your global warming theory from around here some place.

118. Posted by BluesHarper | November 19, 2010 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:53

A democratic operative chec... (Below threshold)

119. Posted by wildman | November 19, 2010 10:56 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
wildman:

A democratic operative checking for loose change to fund obamacare.

119. Posted by wildman | November 19, 2010 10:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:56

How do you figure on gettin... (Below threshold)

120. Posted by BluesHarper | November 19, 2010 10:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BluesHarper:

How do you figure on getting that in the overhead storage compartment?

120. Posted by BluesHarper | November 19, 2010 10:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 10:57

Shove it ready jobs! ... (Below threshold)

121. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 11:04 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
914:

Shove it ready jobs!

121. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 11:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:04

"Gee, Ms. Napolitano, they ... (Below threshold)

122. Posted by Dodo David | November 19, 2010 11:11 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Dodo David:

"Gee, Ms. Napolitano, they said that you'd have to have balls to order us to search people like this. They were right!"

122. Posted by Dodo David | November 19, 2010 11:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:11

Sir, no matter how hard I c... (Below threshold)

123. Posted by TexBob | November 19, 2010 11:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TexBob:

Sir, no matter how hard I check, I cannot find it. It looked much bigger on the x-ray.

123. Posted by TexBob | November 19, 2010 11:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:18

Go ahead; shove it in a lit... (Below threshold)

124. Posted by clear mind | November 19, 2010 11:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
clear mind:

Go ahead; shove it in a little further and it'll come out my mouth!

124. Posted by clear mind | November 19, 2010 11:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:18

"May as well empty my bag w... (Below threshold)

125. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 11:24 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
914:

"May as well empty my bag while you're down there Sonny"


125. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 11:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:24

"TSA. Actively looking for ... (Below threshold)

126. Posted by utbw42 | November 19, 2010 11:30 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
utbw42:

"TSA. Actively looking for WMD's since 1990."

126. Posted by utbw42 | November 19, 2010 11:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:30

I understand you're upset, ... (Below threshold)

127. Posted by john1v6 | November 19, 2010 11:38 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
john1v6:

I understand you're upset, sir. I'm feeling a little testy myself

127. Posted by john1v6 | November 19, 2010 11:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 5 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:38

I Blame Bush.... (Below threshold)

128. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 11:48 AM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
rodney dill:

I Blame Bush.

128. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 11:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:48

"TSA. Actively loo... (Below threshold)

129. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 11:51 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
rodney dill:
"TSA. Actively looking for WMD's since 1990."
...also..

"Hey, I found Kerry's Form 180."

"Hey, I found Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate."

"Hey, I found Rangel's integrity."

"Hey, ... I don't even want to say what I found of Barney Franks..."

129. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 11:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 6 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:51

"Yep. I thought so. Smugg... (Below threshold)

130. Posted by D. Dean | November 19, 2010 11:54 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
D. Dean:

"Yep. I thought so. Smuggling sausage, are ya?"

130. Posted by D. Dean | November 19, 2010 11:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 11:54

#129 continued.."H... (Below threshold)

131. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 12:01 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
914:

#129 continued..

"Hey, I found Jimmy Hoffa."

"Hey, I found the Rose law firm billing records."

"Hey, I found a non submitted budget for 2010."

131. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 12:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:01

"Getting to know you,... (Below threshold)

132. Posted by ac | November 19, 2010 12:02 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
ac:

"Getting to know you,
Getting know all about you.."

132. Posted by ac | November 19, 2010 12:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:02

Ok..let do that again witho... (Below threshold)

133. Posted by ac | November 19, 2010 12:08 PM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
ac:

Ok..let do that again without leaving out any words and with apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein..

"Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like."

133. Posted by ac | November 19, 2010 12:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:08

"Name?""William Hung... (Below threshold)

134. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 12:12 PM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"Name?"
"William Hung."
"Nope."

134. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 12:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:12

Third time is the charm... (Below threshold)

135. Posted by ac | November 19, 2010 12:12 PM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
ac:

Third time is the charm

Ok..let's do that again without leaving out any words and with apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein..

"Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me."

135. Posted by ac | November 19, 2010 12:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:12

"IRS Agents Commence 'Opera... (Below threshold)

136. Posted by Tsar Nicholas II | November 19, 2010 12:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tsar Nicholas II:

"IRS Agents Commence 'Operation Scrotum,' Obama declares he'll fix the deficit by squeezing money out of all orifices of the wealthy"

136. Posted by Tsar Nicholas II | November 19, 2010 12:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:21

Grope Free Or Die... (Below threshold)

137. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 12:24 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
914:

Grope Free Or Die

137. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 12:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:24

You could have just pulled ... (Below threshold)

138. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 19, 2010 12:32 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

You could have just pulled my finger.

138. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 19, 2010 12:32 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:32

The worst thing is you can'... (Below threshold)

139. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 19, 2010 12:34 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

The worst thing is you can't even have a cigarette after.

139. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 19, 2010 12:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:34

Doing the jobs Americans wo... (Below threshold)

140. Posted by tomg51 | November 19, 2010 12:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tomg51:

Doing the jobs Americans won't (shouldn't have to) do

140. Posted by tomg51 | November 19, 2010 12:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:34

At TSA training camp, Earl ... (Below threshold)

141. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 12:38 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
rodney dill:

At TSA training camp, Earl fails the two test tickle procedure.

141. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 12:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:38

TSA workers thoughts: "I'm ... (Below threshold)

142. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 12:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

TSA workers thoughts: "I'm going back to that sewage treatment plant job"

142. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 12:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:40

"Don't rape me, bro!"... (Below threshold)

143. Posted by Daniel Bareither | November 19, 2010 12:44 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Daniel Bareither:

"Don't rape me, bro!"

143. Posted by Daniel Bareither | November 19, 2010 12:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:44

♬He puts his righ... (Below threshold)

144. Posted by Daniel Bareither | November 19, 2010 12:46 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Daniel Bareither:

♬
He puts his right hand in, he takes his right hand out, he puts his right hand in, and he shakes it all about....
♬

144. Posted by Daniel Bareither | November 19, 2010 12:46 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:46

Please, not such a wide sta... (Below threshold)

145. Posted by plasticturtle | November 19, 2010 12:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
plasticturtle:

Please, not such a wide stance senator Craig.

145. Posted by plasticturtle | November 19, 2010 12:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 12:54

Tickle me, Elmo!... (Below threshold)

146. Posted by clear mind | November 19, 2010 1:00 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
clear mind:

Tickle me, Elmo!

146. Posted by clear mind | November 19, 2010 1:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 13:00

TSA guy to victim: "this he... (Below threshold)

147. Posted by Hawk777 | November 19, 2010 1:01 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Hawk777:

TSA guy to victim: "this here's called the 'Wizbang procedure". When we do it, if you don't blow up, you're free to board the plane".

147. Posted by Hawk777 | November 19, 2010 1:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (6 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 13:01

Galoobs dream job!!<... (Below threshold)

148. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 1:11 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
914:

Galoobs dream job!!

148. Posted by 914 | November 19, 2010 1:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 13:11

Look!!! Couldn't you just k... (Below threshold)

149. Posted by BluesHarper | November 19, 2010 1:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BluesHarper:

Look!!! Couldn't you just kick me right square in the nuts and get it over with?

149. Posted by BluesHarper | November 19, 2010 1:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 13:35

"I knew John Holmes, John H... (Below threshold)

150. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 1:44 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Pretzel Logic:

"I knew John Holmes, John Holmes was a friend of mine. You sir are NO John Holmes."

150. Posted by Pretzel Logic | November 19, 2010 1:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 13:44

I think I'm in love.... (Below threshold)

151. Posted by Bob | November 19, 2010 1:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bob:

I think I'm in love.

151. Posted by Bob | November 19, 2010 1:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 13:50

What's this coin purse? We ... (Below threshold)

152. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 2:03 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Jeff:

What's this coin purse? We told you to put all your change in the bowl provided...

152. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 2:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:03

Sir, it feels like you have... (Below threshold)

153. Posted by M Malone | November 19, 2010 2:11 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
M Malone:

Sir, it feels like you have no controlling legal authority down there.

153. Posted by M Malone | November 19, 2010 2:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:11

Bill Clinton volunteered to... (Below threshold)

154. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:12 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
retired military:

Bill Clinton volunteered to be the official testee for all future TSA pat down procedures until he found out that it was same sex. Barney Frank quickly stated he would fill the void left by Bill.

154. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:12

TSA personnael shortages we... (Below threshold)

155. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:14 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
retired military:

TSA personnael shortages were quickly filled when Manbla and NOW volunteered to fill the gaps in TSA ranks.

155. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:14

Obama - "TSA is preparing t... (Below threshold)

156. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:14 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
retired military:

Obama - "TSA is preparing the general public for when the Bush tax cuts expire"

156. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:14

Biden "This reminds me of ... (Below threshold)

157. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:16 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
retired military:

Biden "This reminds me of that club I visited with Barney Frank once"

157. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 2:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:16

Damn! I've seen Jeff Dunham... (Below threshold)

158. Posted by kenneyraisin | November 19, 2010 2:32 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
kenneyraisin:

Damn! I've seen Jeff Dunham on TV and he makes this look easy.

158. Posted by kenneyraisin | November 19, 2010 2:32 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:32

"We only have 20 seconds le... (Below threshold)

159. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 2:43 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"We only have 20 seconds left MacGruber."

159. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 2:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:43

All your junk are belong to... (Below threshold)

160. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 2:51 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
rodney dill:

All your junk are belong to us.

160. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 2:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:51

"How'dyougetthebeansaboveth... (Below threshold)

161. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 2:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"How'dyougetthebeansabovethefrankboy?"

161. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 2:55 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:55

"He's dilated to 10 centime... (Below threshold)

162. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 2:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sir Toby Belch:

"He's dilated to 10 centimeters....let's
get him to the delivery room stat!!!"

162. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 2:58 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 14:58

"These are NOT hemorrhoids,... (Below threshold)

163. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:02 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Sir Toby Belch:

"These are NOT hemorrhoids, villain. They're
C-4 molded to LOOK like hemorrhoids!"

163. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:02

"ATTENTION! CLEANUP ON AISL... (Below threshold)

164. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:04 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Sir Toby Belch:

"ATTENTION! CLEANUP ON AISLE 5!!"

164. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:04 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:04

"I've gutted fish, chickens... (Below threshold)

165. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:07 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Sir Toby Belch:

"I've gutted fish, chickens, and deer....
but this is my first human....so I'm going to take it slow and easy."

165. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:07

Abu Grab??... (Below threshold)

166. Posted by Motley | November 19, 2010 3:08 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Motley:

Abu Grab??

166. Posted by Motley | November 19, 2010 3:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:08

1) Funny, but you don't loo... (Below threshold)

167. Posted by Steve | November 19, 2010 3:09 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Steve:

1) Funny, but you don't look like a mezzo-soprano.

2) Allright Bub, where's Waldo!

3) Sorry Mr. Bond, I thought you said shaken, not stirred.

167. Posted by Steve | November 19, 2010 3:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:09

Oops, sorry about that. Bu... (Below threshold)

168. Posted by Rob | November 19, 2010 3:14 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Rob:

Oops, sorry about that. But do see a doctor if that lasts longer than four hours...

168. Posted by Rob | November 19, 2010 3:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:14

"Hold still, sir! The lump ... (Below threshold)

169. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:15 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Sir Toby Belch:

"Hold still, sir! The lump in your throat
is my right index finger."

169. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 19, 2010 3:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:15

You've heard of Bush's brai... (Below threshold)

170. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 3:19 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
retired military:

You've heard of Bush's brain. An extensive search is being conducted for Obama's brain.

170. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 3:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:19

As the thoughts of Sugar Pl... (Below threshold)

171. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 3:22 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jeff:

As the thoughts of Sugar Plum Fairies danced in his head, Randy became excited when he was told that he was going to the Nutcracker, until...

171. Posted by Jeff | November 19, 2010 3:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:22

Uh, Congressman Frank.<br /... (Below threshold)

172. Posted by justpassingthrough | November 19, 2010 3:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
justpassingthrough:

Uh, Congressman Frank.
This is the fourth time in an hour you've been checked and you don't have a plane ticket.

172. Posted by justpassingthrough | November 19, 2010 3:28 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:28

Could be worse, Mac. I und... (Below threshold)

173. Posted by Mark L | November 19, 2010 3:33 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Mark L:

Could be worse, Mac. I understand Bob Etheridge will be working for TSA now that he's lost his gig in Congress. He has lots more experience at this kind of thing than I do.

173. Posted by Mark L | November 19, 2010 3:33 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:33

Frustration today at San Fr... (Below threshold)

174. Posted by jbw | November 19, 2010 3:41 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
jbw:

Frustration today at San Francisco International Airport over delays caused by hundreds of people volunteering to be patted down, but weren't actually flying anywhere.

174. Posted by jbw | November 19, 2010 3:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 15:41

The secret service were det... (Below threshold)

175. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 4:13 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
retired military:

The secret service were deteremined to find the hidden teleprompter when Obama gave a speech without one being visible.

175. Posted by retired military | November 19, 2010 4:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 16:13

TSA Agent captured by the l... (Below threshold)

176. Posted by Ken in Camarillo | November 19, 2010 4:18 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Ken in Camarillo:

TSA Agent captured by the latest version of the monkey trap.

176. Posted by Ken in Camarillo | November 19, 2010 4:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 16:18

The search is on for VP Bid... (Below threshold)

177. Posted by GarandFan | November 19, 2010 4:31 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
GarandFan:

The search is on for VP Biden's balls.

177. Posted by GarandFan | November 19, 2010 4:31 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 16:31

Grimacing TSA Screener: "Ah... (Below threshold)

178. Posted by Brucepall | November 19, 2010 4:34 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Brucepall:

Grimacing TSA Screener: "Ah, this tattoo says, EXTRA-EXTRA-LARGE"

Grinning PAX Dude: "Yeah...I just had to have it!"

178. Posted by Brucepall | November 19, 2010 4:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 16:34

Kathleen Sebelius' decision... (Below threshold)

179. Posted by Saterp | November 19, 2010 5:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Saterp:

Kathleen Sebelius' decision to combine prostate screening with airport security screening makes its debut.

179. Posted by Saterp | November 19, 2010 5:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 17:03

Loins girded.... (Below threshold)

180. Posted by Vinron | November 19, 2010 5:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Vinron:

Loins girded.

180. Posted by Vinron | November 19, 2010 5:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 17:20

Harry Potter and the Prison... (Below threshold)

181. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:47 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
rodney dill:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Assgrabbin'

181. Posted by rodney dill | November 19, 2010 7:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 19:47

So tell me, Ms.Napolitano, ... (Below threshold)

182. Posted by CZ | November 19, 2010 8:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CZ:

So tell me, Ms.Napolitano, exactly when was this medical addadicktome procedure performed?

182. Posted by CZ | November 19, 2010 8:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 20:01

"where's is that stem for t... (Below threshold)

183. Posted by Vagabond | November 19, 2010 8:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Vagabond:

"where's is that stem for the AutoPilot?

183. Posted by Vagabond | November 19, 2010 8:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 20:48

I know there's gotta be jun... (Below threshold)

184. Posted by Bill M | November 19, 2010 9:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill M:

I know there's gotta be junk in there somewhere!

184. Posted by Bill M | November 19, 2010 9:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 21:20

Go ahead and puke, TSA dude... (Below threshold)

185. Posted by twolaneflash | November 19, 2010 11:05 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
twolaneflash:

Go ahead and puke, TSA dude! I haven't wiped my ass or washed my scrotum for a week in anticipation of this meeting.

185. Posted by twolaneflash | November 19, 2010 11:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 19, 2010 23:05

Grimacing TSA Screener:"Ah,... (Below threshold)

186. Posted by Brucepall | November 20, 2010 1:50 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Brucepall:

Grimacing TSA Screener:"Ah, this tattoo says EXTRA-EXTRA-LARGE."

Grinning Joe Bieden: "Yeah...I just had to have it!"

186. Posted by Brucepall | November 20, 2010 1:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 01:50

Does this mean we"re dating... (Below threshold)

187. Posted by gladus | November 20, 2010 5:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
gladus:

Does this mean we"re dating?

187. Posted by gladus | November 20, 2010 5:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 05:51

Embarrassing bladder contro... (Below threshold)

188. Posted by fustian | November 20, 2010 6:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Embarrassing bladder control problems? You need new TrickleEnder from Epoxy!

188. Posted by fustian | November 20, 2010 6:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 06:21

In certain primitive, third... (Below threshold)

189. Posted by fustian | November 20, 2010 6:26 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
fustian:

In certain primitive, third-world cultures like San Francisco, if you allow someone of the same sex to touch your genitals, you're officially married.

189. Posted by fustian | November 20, 2010 6:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 06:26

Our government has gone off... (Below threshold)

190. Posted by Maggie Mama | November 20, 2010 8:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie Mama:

Our government has gone off the deep end.

190. Posted by Maggie Mama | November 20, 2010 8:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 08:11

Had Agent Johnson asked the... (Below threshold)

191. Posted by Al Pennam | November 20, 2010 9:58 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Al Pennam:

Had Agent Johnson asked the man his immigration status, he would have been sued.

191. Posted by Al Pennam | November 20, 2010 9:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 2 (2 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 09:58

If it weren't for the TSA, ... (Below threshold)

192. Posted by jester | November 20, 2010 3:51 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
jester:

If it weren't for the TSA, I'd have no sex life at all!

192. Posted by jester | November 20, 2010 3:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 15:51

Cold Hands! Cold Hands!... (Below threshold)

193. Posted by jester | November 20, 2010 3:51 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
jester:

Cold Hands! Cold Hands!

193. Posted by jester | November 20, 2010 3:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 15:51

"Sir, I'm sorry...""... (Below threshold)

194. Posted by SpinMan | November 20, 2010 5:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SpinMan:

"Sir, I'm sorry..."
"But, but, but Carville said I'd have two"

194. Posted by SpinMan | November 20, 2010 5:55 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 17:55

BREAKING NEWS.......... (Below threshold)

195. Posted by JD2020 | November 20, 2010 8:04 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
JD2020:


BREAKING NEWS.....................

TSA agent swabbing for DNA, finds Barney Franks DNA proves he is a closet "teabagger".

195. Posted by JD2020 | November 20, 2010 8:04 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 20:04

TSA agent is surprised to f... (Below threshold)

196. Posted by JD2020 | November 20, 2010 8:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JD2020:

TSA agent is surprised to find that Joy Behar is really a man.

196. Posted by JD2020 | November 20, 2010 8:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 20:09

Thought Bubble: Dang! - I s... (Below threshold)

197. Posted by Brucepall | November 20, 2010 8:40 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Brucepall:

Thought Bubble: Dang! - I should of changed gloves again after fiddling with the previous passengers super-glue.

197. Posted by Brucepall | November 20, 2010 8:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 20, 2010 20:40

"I checked your dip stick a... (Below threshold)

198. Posted by radio free fred | November 21, 2010 2:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"I checked your dip stick and your a quart low."

198. Posted by radio free fred | November 21, 2010 2:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 02:26

"Oh My God... That's Lady G... (Below threshold)

199. Posted by Darby | November 21, 2010 2:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darby:

"Oh My God... That's Lady Gaga next in line..."

199. Posted by Darby | November 21, 2010 2:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 02:52

Gate rape.Shameles... (Below threshold)

200. Posted by Gmac | November 21, 2010 9:52 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Gmac:

Gate rape.

Shamelessly stolen from Say Uncle...

200. Posted by Gmac | November 21, 2010 9:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 09:52

Yeah, I used to be a tailor... (Below threshold)

201. Posted by JohnSToo | November 21, 2010 10:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JohnSToo:

Yeah, I used to be a tailor.... IN PRISON!

201. Posted by JohnSToo | November 21, 2010 10:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 10:44

Overtime At The Sausage Fac... (Below threshold)

202. Posted by radio free fred | November 21, 2010 11:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

Overtime At The Sausage Factory

202. Posted by radio free fred | November 21, 2010 11:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 11:04

Some Zipped Folders Are Har... (Below threshold)

203. Posted by radio free fred | November 21, 2010 11:06 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
radio free fred:

Some Zipped Folders Are Hard To Open.

203. Posted by radio free fred | November 21, 2010 11:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 11:06

Welcome to Obama's banana r... (Below threshold)

204. Posted by jbinnout | November 21, 2010 11:44 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
jbinnout:

Welcome to Obama's banana republic.

204. Posted by jbinnout | November 21, 2010 11:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 11:44

Copping a feel.... (Below threshold)

205. Posted by Brian Richard Allen | November 21, 2010 12:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Richard Allen:

Copping a feel.

205. Posted by Brian Richard Allen | November 21, 2010 12:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 12:50

I put some feeling into my ... (Below threshold)

206. Posted by Brian Richard Allen | November 21, 2010 12:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Richard Allen:

I put some feeling into my work!

206. Posted by Brian Richard Allen | November 21, 2010 12:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 12:51

Rent-a-Copping a feel.... (Below threshold)

207. Posted by Brian Richard Allen | November 21, 2010 12:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Richard Allen:

Rent-a-Copping a feel.

207. Posted by Brian Richard Allen | November 21, 2010 12:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 12:53

I know there are more votes... (Below threshold)

208. Posted by Chip | November 21, 2010 12:58 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Chip:

I know there are more votes for Lisa Murkowski here somewhere.

208. Posted by Chip | November 21, 2010 12:58 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 12:58

♬I said what what... (Below threshold)

209. Posted by Daniel Bareither | November 21, 2010 3:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daniel Bareither:

♬
I said what what, in the butt?
I said what what, in the butt?
♬

209. Posted by Daniel Bareither | November 21, 2010 3:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 15:37

WOW! Wait till Barney Fran... (Below threshold)

210. Posted by olsoljer | November 21, 2010 4:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
olsoljer:

WOW! Wait till Barney Frank hears about this one!

210. Posted by olsoljer | November 21, 2010 4:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 16:05

Uh, but if this is a prosta... (Below threshold)

211. Posted by Freemarketmaven | November 21, 2010 9:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Freemarketmaven:

Uh, but if this is a prostate exam, shouldn't you be behind me?

211. Posted by Freemarketmaven | November 21, 2010 9:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 21:00

Is that a WMD or are you ju... (Below threshold)

212. Posted by Dave G. | November 21, 2010 9:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave G.:

Is that a WMD or are you just happy to see me?

212. Posted by Dave G. | November 21, 2010 9:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 21, 2010 21:01

One and Done.... (Below threshold)

213. Posted by Joel | November 22, 2010 6:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Joel:

One and Done.

213. Posted by Joel | November 22, 2010 6:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 22, 2010 06:56

Uncle Ed's Moyhel Shop... (Below threshold)

214. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 8:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rodney dill:

Uncle Ed's Moyhel Shop

214. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 8:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 22, 2010 08:10

"So that's why they call yo... (Below threshold)

215. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 8:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"So that's why they call you the 'Hanging Judge,' Justice Scalia."

215. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 8:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 22, 2010 08:53

"POP" goes the Wease... (Below threshold)

216. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 9:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"POP" goes the Weasel.

216. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 9:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 22, 2010 09:14

"I didn't get a HARUMPH!... (Below threshold)

217. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 12:04 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
rodney dill:

"I didn't get a HARUMPH! outta that guy."

217. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 12:04 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

Posted on November 22, 2010 12:04

It rubs the lotion on its s... (Below threshold)

218. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 1:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rodney dill:

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.

218. Posted by rodney dill | November 22, 2010 1:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 22, 2010 13:02

Now the term "rip him a new... (Below threshold)

219. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 22, 2010 6:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sir Toby Belch:

Now the term "rip him a new one" has meaning.

219. Posted by Sir Toby Belch | November 22, 2010 6:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 22, 2010 18:14

Ok Rahm come out of there !... (Below threshold)

220. Posted by Bob Ratliff | November 26, 2010 7:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bob Ratliff:

Ok Rahm come out of there !

220. Posted by Bob Ratliff | November 26, 2010 7:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2010 19:37

Update: <... (Below threshold)

221. Posted by Kevin Author Profile Page | November 29, 2010 1:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

221. Posted by Kevin Author Profile Page | November 29, 2010 1:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 29, 2010 01:52




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