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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:


A TSA employee conducts one the new enhanced searches


Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (221)

Looking for terrorists in a... (Below threshold)
jim2:

Looking for terrorists in all the wrong places.

They call him the "Junk Man... (Below threshold)
fustian:

They call him the "Junk Man".

Stay in School!... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Stay in School!

Hillary gets her stones che... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Hillary gets her stones checked on the way back to Washington.

*cough* Boldly going where ... (Below threshold)
Prairie:

*cough* Boldly going where no man should go.

♬ Hey Mr. TS... (Below threshold)
fustian:


Hey Mr. TSA-man, touch-a my banana.
Daylight comes and I wanna go home.

According to Grey's Anatomy... (Below threshold)
fustian:

According to Grey's Anatomy, I am only modestly oversized...

Joe always looked forward t... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Joe always looked forward to his lunch break, never more than these days, but he can't even look at his old favorite, hot dogs...

Now turn your head and coug... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

Now turn your head and cough sir.

Are you sure you're in the ... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Are you sure you're in the right line, Mr. Obama?

Day in and day out, it was ... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

Day in and day out, it was the same old job. But then something changed and each day became a new adventure.

Is that a bomb in your unde... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Is that a bomb in your underwear, or are you just glad to see me?

You must be from the IRS. I... (Below threshold)
fustian:

You must be from the IRS. I recognize the paws on my junk.

"mmm, I see you're half Chi... (Below threshold)
SideShowJane:

"mmm, I see you're half Chinese."

I just can't find any Mr Pr... (Below threshold)
olsoljer:

I just can't find any Mr President, but your wife has two.

TSA applications from gays ... (Below threshold)
fustian:

TSA applications from gays and lesbians have gone through the roof!

Grandma sure as hell better... (Below threshold)
smitch:

Grandma sure as hell better be putting something good on the table to make this worthwhile.

"Dang Hillary... You've got... (Below threshold)

"Dang Hillary... You've got the biggest balls I've ever...."

The entire TSA approach to ... (Below threshold)
fustian:

The entire TSA approach to screening is based on science...junk science!

Let's just remove that junk... (Below threshold)
Larry:

Let's just remove that junk there for ya...

Touch my junk and I'll wipe... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Touch my junk and I'll wipe that little pervert smile off your defective little government union face!

"SHRINKAGE!!!"... (Below threshold)

"SHRINKAGE!!!"

Bad time to lose your milit... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Bad time to lose your military plane, Ms. Pelosi.

Joe's favorite greeting, "H... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Joe's favorite greeting, "How's it Hangin'?" seems somehow inappropriate these days...

An aide is seen attempting ... (Below threshold)
iwogisdead:

An aide is seen attempting to retrive Joe Biden's head.

"Is that a Pipe bomb in you... (Below threshold)
Rick13:

"Is that a Pipe bomb in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

"It's a Pipe bomb!"

TSA: Touching Scrotums Ador... (Below threshold)
fustian:

TSA: Touching Scrotums Adoringly.

"My qualifications?.. Well ... (Below threshold)

"My qualifications?.. Well I used to be a Moyel..."

Perhaps that should be "Lor... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Perhaps that should be "Lord" Gaga..

♬Whatcha go... (Below threshold)


Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
all that junk inside your trunk

"I wish I could quit you."<... (Below threshold)

"I wish I could quit you."

Bags fly free... (Below threshold)

Bags fly free

Fly the Friendly Skies... (Below threshold)

Fly the Friendly Skies

OK, one last time, sir, but... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

OK, one last time, sir, but you've been through the line 4 times now....

You are now free to moan ab... (Below threshold)

You are now free to moan about the country.

Plane ticket: $250Lu... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Plane ticket: $250
Luggage: $25
Happy Ending: $10

It was embarrassing and hum... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

It was embarrassing and humiliating, but John had to admit that this was still better sex than he was getting at home.

Just looking for suspicious... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Just looking for suspicious packages sir.

Fly the Over Friendly Skies... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Fly the Over Friendly Skies.

OK, sir, push real hard and... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

OK, sir, push real hard and maybe my hand will come loose....

Yeah....right there....... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Yeah....right there....

We Know Why You Fly!... (Below threshold)
fustian:

We Know Why You Fly!

New York Post: "Defrocked P... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

New York Post: "Defrocked Priest Finds New Career"

I should have listened to m... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

I should have listened to my mother and gone to law school.

"Checking your bag" takes o... (Below threshold)

"Checking your bag" takes on a whole new meaning.

Total Scrotum <... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Total Scrotum Action

geez sir we're gonna have t... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

geez sir we're gonna have to charge you extra to bring THAT on board.

Touch Sacks & Ass... (Below threshold)

Touch Sacks & Ass

Told ya it was bigger than ... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Told ya it was bigger than Favre's.

The Long Arm of the Law.</p... (Below threshold)

The Long Arm of the Law.

Janet Napolitano shows the ... (Below threshold)
Dude:

Janet Napolitano shows the media that receiving an enhanced pat-down is not humiliating at all.

"...and just what do we hav... (Below threshold)

"...and just what do we have here?"
"Uh... Depends."

Hmmm. . . . feels like a su... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

Hmmm. . . . feels like a suspicious package to me.

Watch al Qaeda send some lo... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Watch al Qaeda send some loser with a printer cartridge up his butt just to mess with us.

"Once I get this alignment ... (Below threshold)
JLawson:

"Once I get this alignment done, we'll get you on the rack for a lube job, okay?

"Next time, sweetie, I think the lube job should come first!"

And we thought that the gov... (Below threshold)
docjim505:

And we thought that the government was jerking us around before...

If I said I was gay, would ... (Below threshold)
Brad:

If I said I was gay, would I get a female officer for this?

They told me if I voted for... (Below threshold)
Brad:

They told me if I voted for McCain I'd have facsist federal security forces checking my underwear and they were right!

Package...package...I don't... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Package...package...I don't got to show you any stinkin' package...

"When we're finished, may I... (Below threshold)
Tom Blogical:

"When we're finished, may I have a cigarette?"

Is this a bomb or are you j... (Below threshold)
Brad:

Is this a bomb or are you just happy to see me?

"Hmmm... do you have my Tht... (Below threshold)

"Hmmm... do you have my Thtapler?"

Obama "if you are looking f... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama "if you are looking for Lee Ward or galoob it will be a lot easier if I turn around"

no no no - I said Pull My... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

no no no - I said Pull My Finger!

Screener "I dont care what ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Screener "I dont care what you say Mr Prssident. I still say Bush's were 10 times the size of yours".

"How do you like the new Ob... (Below threshold)
zipity:

"How do you like the new Obama Stimulus Plan sir....?"

"Hey, this is kinda like Sa... (Below threshold)
zipity:

"Hey, this is kinda like Sarah Palin.....I can almost see Uranus from here...."

"Yup, it looks like the bal... (Below threshold)
zipity:

"Yup, it looks like the ball-joints are shot, we'll have to replace them, maybe the struts too...."

"Well sir, you ain't no Joh... (Below threshold)
xiphos:

"Well sir, you ain't no Johnny Holmes."

"Don't crush that dwarf. Ha... (Below threshold)
zipity:

"Don't crush that dwarf. Hand me the pliers..."

warm thanksgiving greetings... (Below threshold)
rbee:

warm thanksgiving greetings from your tsa public servant..remember to remove your "giblets" before you baste your bird!

Are you expected to tip the... (Below threshold)
Roy:

Are you expected to tip the bag handlers?

The terrorists have won.</p... (Below threshold)
Roy:

The terrorists have won.

Fear not, sir, I'm a traine... (Below threshold)
clear mind:

Fear not, sir, I'm a trained molester. Want to see my NAMBLA certification?

Uh...this isn't the line fo... (Below threshold)
tomg51:

Uh...this isn't the line for Hudson News, is it?

The IRS tests using TSA age... (Below threshold)
tomg51:

The IRS tests using TSA agents for income tax audits

"Sorry, Mr. Aylward, but we... (Below threshold)

"Sorry, Mr. Aylward, but we have reports that you might be concealing the winners to a caption contest on your person..."

J.

uh...silk boxers...why do y... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

uh...silk boxers...why do you ask?

"Aren'tcha gonna buy be din... (Below threshold)

"Aren'tcha gonna buy be dinner first?"

"Hey Anne, come look, is th... (Below threshold)
Darin H:

"Hey Anne, come look, is this too small to be considered a weapon?"

"Badges? We don't need no s... (Below threshold)

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges."

Geez, these searches are le... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Geez, these searches are lending new meaning to the phrase "Don't ask, don't tell."

"Since when did the TSA mov... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

"Since when did the TSA move these 'pat downs' into the men's room?"

Excuse me, but I thought th... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Excuse me, but I thought this was America.

"President Obama asked me t... (Below threshold)
Marie:

"President Obama asked me to look in here for his missing testicles."

Congressman Barney Frank ha... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Congressman Barney Frank has become the most frequent flyer in the country (at taxpayer expense of course).

Grope and change!... (Below threshold)
914:

Grope and change!

Congratulations you pass th... (Below threshold)

Congratulations you pass the inspection! Now hold still one moment for the brand that marks you as official government property

Sir, have you been in contr... (Below threshold)
IowaRight:

Sir, have you been in control of your bag since you packed it?

Thought bubble: "I used to ... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

Thought bubble: "I used to have to buy a dinner and drinks to get to second base..."

Being a gay flier just beca... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

Being a gay flier just became a lot more fun.

"Should I turn my head and ... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

"Should I turn my head and cough?"

Sir, I see you've had your ... (Below threshold)
Joe Miller:

Sir, I see you've had your tonsils removed...and you have a deviated septum.

OK, when we're done here I ... (Below threshold)
itismedavid:

OK, when we're done here I am going to need to to turn around, bend over and grab your ankles...

Obama's got us by the nads,... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Obama's got us by the nads, both figuratively and literally.

"Hmmmm, when the job descri... (Below threshold)

"Hmmmm, when the job description said, 'Work in the Netherlands,' I didn't know this is what it meant."

Isn't there an app for this... (Below threshold)
CDR M:

Isn't there an app for this?

"I'm sorry, Congressman Fra... (Below threshold)
Jay:

"I'm sorry, Congressman Frank, but my hand's stuck."

"Sorry?"

I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but ... (Below threshold)
guido:

I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but your package is too large for carry on.....unless you think you can slip it under the seat in front of you without blocking the aisle.

Well sir, if you'd only wor... (Below threshold)
guido:

Well sir, if you'd only worn your turban, then none of this would have been necessary.

Is this really necessary? I... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Is this really necessary? I just came to 7-11 to get the President his slurpee...

On a positive note, the nat... (Below threshold)
guido:

On a positive note, the nation is benefitting from a significant improvement in the early detection of testicular cancer....likely caused by airport x-ray screening equipment.

"I'll get your head loose n... (Below threshold)

"I'll get your head loose now any minute, Mr. President."

Is this a box cutter in you... (Below threshold)
guido:

Is this a box cutter in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Just. Lean. Forward.... (Below threshold)
teh Wind:

Just. Lean. Forward.

YES WE CAN!... (Below threshold)
Timmer:

YES WE CAN!

"Just take a deep breath an... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

"Just take a deep breath and say OBAMA!"

In the aftermath of the Sal... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

In the aftermath of the Salahi security breach, Whitehouse Thanksgiving guests are required to pass thru a more in depth security checkpoint

Yes Senator Craig, it IS ir... (Below threshold)
Timmer:

Yes Senator Craig, it IS ironic. That was funnier the first 12 times you came through.

Clyde was optimistic that h... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Clyde was optimistic that he would finally see a benefit from his long hours of using the Shake Weight

"Why are you laughing Mr. B... (Below threshold)
Matt:

"Why are you laughing Mr. Bond?"

"Because the whole world will know you died scratching my Balls!"

Obamacare reduces the cost ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obamacare reduces the cost of health care by having hernia and prostrate exams done by TSA screeners.

"Guys, come quick! I think... (Below threshold)
lisa:

"Guys, come quick! I think I found Osama Bin Laden!"

The TSA screening procedure... (Below threshold)
retired military:

The TSA screening procedures gives new meaning to the phrase "So far up their ass"

Screener "I'm so good I can... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Screener "I'm so good I can tell you what you had for breakfast"

TSA Screeners demaneded a p... (Below threshold)
retired military:

TSA Screeners demaneded a pay raise saying "hookers get paid $50 per customer and all we get is $20 an hour."

This gives new meaning to p... (Below threshold)
retired military:

This gives new meaning to passengers moaning about service at the airport.

Okay Gore... I know you got... (Below threshold)
BluesHarper:

Okay Gore... I know you got your global warming theory from around here some place.

A democratic operative chec... (Below threshold)
wildman:

A democratic operative checking for loose change to fund obamacare.

How do you figure on gettin... (Below threshold)
BluesHarper:

How do you figure on getting that in the overhead storage compartment?

Shove it ready jobs! ... (Below threshold)
914:

Shove it ready jobs!

"Gee, Ms. Napolitano, they ... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

"Gee, Ms. Napolitano, they said that you'd have to have balls to order us to search people like this. They were right!"

Sir, no matter how hard I c... (Below threshold)
TexBob:

Sir, no matter how hard I check, I cannot find it. It looked much bigger on the x-ray.

Go ahead; shove it in a lit... (Below threshold)
clear mind:

Go ahead; shove it in a little further and it'll come out my mouth!

"May as well empty my bag w... (Below threshold)
914:

"May as well empty my bag while you're down there Sonny"


"TSA. Actively looking for ... (Below threshold)
utbw42:

"TSA. Actively looking for WMD's since 1990."

I understand you're upset, ... (Below threshold)
john1v6:

I understand you're upset, sir. I'm feeling a little testy myself

I Blame Bush.... (Below threshold)

I Blame Bush.

"TSA. Actively loo... (Below threshold)
"TSA. Actively looking for WMD's since 1990."
...also..

"Hey, I found Kerry's Form 180."

"Hey, I found Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate."

"Hey, I found Rangel's integrity."

"Hey, ... I don't even want to say what I found of Barney Franks..."

"Yep. I thought so. Smugg... (Below threshold)

"Yep. I thought so. Smuggling sausage, are ya?"

#129 continued.."H... (Below threshold)
914:

#129 continued..

"Hey, I found Jimmy Hoffa."

"Hey, I found the Rose law firm billing records."

"Hey, I found a non submitted budget for 2010."

"Getting to know you,... (Below threshold)
ac:

"Getting to know you,
Getting know all about you.."

Ok..let do that again witho... (Below threshold)
ac:

Ok..let do that again without leaving out any words and with apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein..

"Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like."

"Name?""William Hung... (Below threshold)

"Name?"
"William Hung."
"Nope."

Third time is the charm... (Below threshold)
ac:

Third time is the charm

Ok..let's do that again without leaving out any words and with apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein..

"Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me."

"IRS Agents Commence 'Opera... (Below threshold)
Tsar Nicholas II:

"IRS Agents Commence 'Operation Scrotum,' Obama declares he'll fix the deficit by squeezing money out of all orifices of the wealthy"

Grope Free Or Die... (Below threshold)
914:

Grope Free Or Die

You could have just pulled ... (Below threshold)

You could have just pulled my finger.

The worst thing is you can'... (Below threshold)

The worst thing is you can't even have a cigarette after.

Doing the jobs Americans wo... (Below threshold)
tomg51:

Doing the jobs Americans won't (shouldn't have to) do

At TSA training camp, Earl ... (Below threshold)

At TSA training camp, Earl fails the two test tickle procedure.

TSA workers thoughts: "I'm ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

TSA workers thoughts: "I'm going back to that sewage treatment plant job"

"Don't rape me, bro!"... (Below threshold)

"Don't rape me, bro!"

♬He puts his righ... (Below threshold)


He puts his right hand in, he takes his right hand out, he puts his right hand in, and he shakes it all about....

Please, not such a wide sta... (Below threshold)
plasticturtle:

Please, not such a wide stance senator Craig.

Tickle me, Elmo!... (Below threshold)
clear mind:

Tickle me, Elmo!

TSA guy to victim: "this he... (Below threshold)
Hawk777:

TSA guy to victim: "this here's called the 'Wizbang procedure". When we do it, if you don't blow up, you're free to board the plane".

Galoobs dream job!!<... (Below threshold)
914:

Galoobs dream job!!

Look!!! Couldn't you just k... (Below threshold)
BluesHarper:

Look!!! Couldn't you just kick me right square in the nuts and get it over with?

"I knew John Holmes, John H... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

"I knew John Holmes, John Holmes was a friend of mine. You sir are NO John Holmes."

I think I'm in love.... (Below threshold)
Bob:

I think I'm in love.

What's this coin purse? We ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

What's this coin purse? We told you to put all your change in the bowl provided...

Sir, it feels like you have... (Below threshold)
M Malone:

Sir, it feels like you have no controlling legal authority down there.

Bill Clinton volunteered to... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Bill Clinton volunteered to be the official testee for all future TSA pat down procedures until he found out that it was same sex. Barney Frank quickly stated he would fill the void left by Bill.

TSA personnael shortages we... (Below threshold)
retired military:

TSA personnael shortages were quickly filled when Manbla and NOW volunteered to fill the gaps in TSA ranks.

Obama - "TSA is preparing t... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "TSA is preparing the general public for when the Bush tax cuts expire"

Biden "This reminds me of ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Biden "This reminds me of that club I visited with Barney Frank once"

Damn! I've seen Jeff Dunham... (Below threshold)
kenneyraisin:

Damn! I've seen Jeff Dunham on TV and he makes this look easy.

"We only have 20 seconds le... (Below threshold)

"We only have 20 seconds left MacGruber."

All your junk are belong to... (Below threshold)

All your junk are belong to us.

"How'dyougetthebeansaboveth... (Below threshold)

"How'dyougetthebeansabovethefrankboy?"

"He's dilated to 10 centime... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"He's dilated to 10 centimeters....let's
get him to the delivery room stat!!!"

"These are NOT hemorrhoids,... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"These are NOT hemorrhoids, villain. They're
C-4 molded to LOOK like hemorrhoids!"

"ATTENTION! CLEANUP ON AISL... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"ATTENTION! CLEANUP ON AISLE 5!!"

"I've gutted fish, chickens... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"I've gutted fish, chickens, and deer....
but this is my first human....so I'm going to take it slow and easy."

Abu Grab??... (Below threshold)
Motley:

Abu Grab??

1) Funny, but you don't loo... (Below threshold)
Steve:

1) Funny, but you don't look like a mezzo-soprano.

2) Allright Bub, where's Waldo!

3) Sorry Mr. Bond, I thought you said shaken, not stirred.

Oops, sorry about that. Bu... (Below threshold)
Rob:

Oops, sorry about that. But do see a doctor if that lasts longer than four hours...

"Hold still, sir! The lump ... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"Hold still, sir! The lump in your throat
is my right index finger."

You've heard of Bush's brai... (Below threshold)
retired military:

You've heard of Bush's brain. An extensive search is being conducted for Obama's brain.

As the thoughts of Sugar Pl... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

As the thoughts of Sugar Plum Fairies danced in his head, Randy became excited when he was told that he was going to the Nutcracker, until...

Uh, Congressman Frank.<br /... (Below threshold)
justpassingthrough:

Uh, Congressman Frank.
This is the fourth time in an hour you've been checked and you don't have a plane ticket.

Could be worse, Mac. I und... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

Could be worse, Mac. I understand Bob Etheridge will be working for TSA now that he's lost his gig in Congress. He has lots more experience at this kind of thing than I do.

Frustration today at San Fr... (Below threshold)
jbw:

Frustration today at San Francisco International Airport over delays caused by hundreds of people volunteering to be patted down, but weren't actually flying anywhere.

The secret service were det... (Below threshold)
retired military:

The secret service were deteremined to find the hidden teleprompter when Obama gave a speech without one being visible.

TSA Agent captured by the l... (Below threshold)
Ken in Camarillo:

TSA Agent captured by the latest version of the monkey trap.

The search is on for VP Bid... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

The search is on for VP Biden's balls.

Grimacing TSA Screener: "Ah... (Below threshold)
Brucepall:

Grimacing TSA Screener: "Ah, this tattoo says, EXTRA-EXTRA-LARGE"

Grinning PAX Dude: "Yeah...I just had to have it!"

Kathleen Sebelius' decision... (Below threshold)
Saterp:

Kathleen Sebelius' decision to combine prostate screening with airport security screening makes its debut.

Loins girded.... (Below threshold)
Vinron:

Loins girded.

Harry Potter and the Prison... (Below threshold)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Assgrabbin'

So tell me, Ms.Napolitano, ... (Below threshold)
CZ:

So tell me, Ms.Napolitano, exactly when was this medical addadicktome procedure performed?

"where's is that stem for t... (Below threshold)
Vagabond:

"where's is that stem for the AutoPilot?

I know there's gotta be jun... (Below threshold)
Bill M:

I know there's gotta be junk in there somewhere!

Go ahead and puke, TSA dude... (Below threshold)
twolaneflash:

Go ahead and puke, TSA dude! I haven't wiped my ass or washed my scrotum for a week in anticipation of this meeting.

Grimacing TSA Screener:"Ah,... (Below threshold)
Brucepall:

Grimacing TSA Screener:"Ah, this tattoo says EXTRA-EXTRA-LARGE."

Grinning Joe Bieden: "Yeah...I just had to have it!"

Does this mean we"re dating... (Below threshold)
gladus:

Does this mean we"re dating?

Embarrassing bladder contro... (Below threshold)
fustian:

Embarrassing bladder control problems? You need new TrickleEnder from Epoxy!

In certain primitive, third... (Below threshold)
fustian:

In certain primitive, third-world cultures like San Francisco, if you allow someone of the same sex to touch your genitals, you're officially married.

Our government has gone off... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Our government has gone off the deep end.

Had Agent Johnson asked the... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Had Agent Johnson asked the man his immigration status, he would have been sued.

If it weren't for the TSA, ... (Below threshold)
jester:

If it weren't for the TSA, I'd have no sex life at all!

Cold Hands! Cold Hands!... (Below threshold)
jester:

Cold Hands! Cold Hands!

"Sir, I'm sorry...""... (Below threshold)

"Sir, I'm sorry..."
"But, but, but Carville said I'd have two"

BREAKING NEWS.......... (Below threshold)
JD2020:


BREAKING NEWS.....................

TSA agent swabbing for DNA, finds Barney Franks DNA proves he is a closet "teabagger".

TSA agent is surprised to f... (Below threshold)
JD2020:

TSA agent is surprised to find that Joy Behar is really a man.

Thought Bubble: Dang! - I s... (Below threshold)
Brucepall:

Thought Bubble: Dang! - I should of changed gloves again after fiddling with the previous passengers super-glue.

"I checked your dip stick a... (Below threshold)

"I checked your dip stick and your a quart low."

"Oh My God... That's Lady G... (Below threshold)
Darby:

"Oh My God... That's Lady Gaga next in line..."

Gate rape.Shameles... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

Gate rape.

Shamelessly stolen from Say Uncle...

Yeah, I used to be a tailor... (Below threshold)
JohnSToo:

Yeah, I used to be a tailor.... IN PRISON!

Overtime At The Sausage Fac... (Below threshold)

Overtime At The Sausage Factory

Some Zipped Folders Are Har... (Below threshold)

Some Zipped Folders Are Hard To Open.

Welcome to Obama's banana r... (Below threshold)
jbinnout:

Welcome to Obama's banana republic.

Copping a feel.... (Below threshold)

Copping a feel.

I put some feeling into my ... (Below threshold)

I put some feeling into my work!

Rent-a-Copping a feel.... (Below threshold)

Rent-a-Copping a feel.

I know there are more votes... (Below threshold)
Chip:

I know there are more votes for Lisa Murkowski here somewhere.

♬I said what what... (Below threshold)


I said what what, in the butt?
I said what what, in the butt?

WOW! Wait till Barney Fran... (Below threshold)
olsoljer:

WOW! Wait till Barney Frank hears about this one!

Uh, but if this is a prosta... (Below threshold)
Freemarketmaven:

Uh, but if this is a prostate exam, shouldn't you be behind me?

Is that a WMD or are you ju... (Below threshold)
Dave G.:

Is that a WMD or are you just happy to see me?

One and Done.... (Below threshold)
Joel:

One and Done.

Uncle Ed's Moyhel Shop... (Below threshold)

Uncle Ed's Moyhel Shop

"So that's why they call yo... (Below threshold)

"So that's why they call you the 'Hanging Judge,' Justice Scalia."

"POP" goes the Wease... (Below threshold)

"POP" goes the Weasel.

"I didn't get a HARUMPH!... (Below threshold)

"I didn't get a HARUMPH! outta that guy."

It rubs the lotion on its s... (Below threshold)

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.

Now the term "rip him a new... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

Now the term "rip him a new one" has meaning.

Ok Rahm come out of there !... (Below threshold)
Bob Ratliff:

Ok Rahm come out of there !

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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