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Whither Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion, and the Tin Man?


Inquiring minds want to know, Why is Obama Scary Skinny?  The good folks at the National Enquirer (two words for naysayers - John Edwards) are reporting that stomach parasites are at least partly to blame for the incredible shrinking President.

The real reason behind PRESIDENT OBAMA's shocking weight loss - he's secretly battling stomach parasites, say sources.

The pencil-thin president caught the parasites on a trip last year to Hawaii, where he and his family also vacationed over Christmas, according to top political insiders.

"Barack has wanted to keep the stomach parasites under the radar," revealed a close source.

"There had been a public health warning about them in Hawaii when he caught them."

Seems like a plausible enough explanation, although Barack Obama returning to the physique he's had his entire life other than the 18 month span during the 2008 campaign doesn't strike me as unusual.  I'm more curious about a rail-thin politician suddenly packing on 30 pounds of muscle in the course of six months while he's traveling every day during a presidential campaign.

Surely we all remember the sun glinting off Barack "Adonis" Obama's chiseled pectorals.

He was on the juice.  I have no doubt that the fightin', muscled Obama of 2008 has become the perpetually-aggrieved, skeletal (their word, not mine) Obama of 1975-2007 because he was using steroids during his campaign for President.  Just a pet theory I've been kicking around for a while.  It will be interesting to see if beanpole Obama pumps back up again as we draw closer to November 2012


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Comments (16)

I'm sure stomach parasites ... (Below threshold)
Matt:

I'm sure stomach parasites is the correct answer, most logical, most likely etc.

Unlikely is not having the time to get to the gym, not eating on a regular schedule, eating less due to stress, being held to the latest trendy diet by the Wookie etc.

Yup, Stomach parasites are the most reasonable explanation.

Parasites? Why am I not su... (Below threshold)
Bill Fabrizio:

Parasites? Why am I not surprised? The entire Democrat agenda is based upon parasitism! In fact here is how Webster defines Obama (er, the word "parasite"): "a person who receives support or advantage from another without giving any useful return".

Bingo! The perfect definition of "The One"!

The only thing that surprises me is that since Obama has his head up his butt all the time you think he would have been able to see others in his party lingering there!

I'll bet he's still smoking... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

I'll bet he's still smoking as well ...

Well steriods would explain... (Below threshold)
gary gulrud:

Well steriods would explain the pugnacity.

Cocaine makes you skinny. ... (Below threshold)
arcman Author Profile Page:

Cocaine makes you skinny. Since he admitted he used in college, why would it be surprising if he isn't back on it now. Seriously, he is way in over his head, and the more he tries not to diminish himself the smaller he gets.

This is an interesting prob... (Below threshold)

This is an interesting problem. The President's life is scheduled to the minute and they have personal chefs to prepare every meal and serve it exactly on time. There is no need to skip any meals because of a busy schedule, or rummage for food in the fridge late at night.

He may have been on steroids during the campaign but I'm more suspicious about the cocaine use. Remember when he ditched the Press Corps for a limo ride to his daughter's soccer game, a game that wasn't listed on Sidwell Friend's soccer schedule? He's addicted to smoking and used cocaine before and he's under a lot of stress right now.

One could delightfully imagine a full blown meltdown during a press conference, complete with a bloody nose and spittle flying from his purple lips. A girl can dream.

How is this possible?... (Below threshold)
Hank:

How is this possible?

Where's Michelle when you need her?

Don't know. Don't care. J... (Below threshold)
GarandFan:

Don't know. Don't care. Just want him gone in 2012.

That's great!Now o... (Below threshold)
jim m:

That's great!

Now obama is telling the world, "Don't go to Hawaii, you'll get intestinal parasites!"

First he destroys tourism in Las Vegas, now Hawaii. Is there anywhere we can go that he won't screw up?

If you support Obama and hi... (Below threshold)
Mick Russom:

If you support Obama and his Regime, you support a Statist authoritarian who is an empty suit who speaks in platitudes who is beholden to the oligarchical collectivists and banking cabals. You are against freedom, liberty and our constitutional republic and the notion that all of our rights are inborn and are given by our creator. Some autocrat in Washington does not grant rights - the constitution simply enumerates them for added protection. The constitution also limits the Powers of the Federal Government yet an expansionist authoritarian view is used in modern times contrary to what Madison had intended. If you support Obama you support the biggest threat to our free will in our history, and when the last bastion of freedom in the USA falls, there is nowhere else to go.

Let's throw syphilis in the... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Let's throw syphilis in the mix - It causes weight loss plus Democrat presidents love to stray when living in the White House. One look at the Wookie and he almost seems blameless.

Plus syphilis is much more news generating and it would be SO FUN to listen to Chris Matthews explain it away.

You people are fucking hila... (Below threshold)
hyperbolist:

You people are fucking hilarious.

hyper, I agree, this thread... (Below threshold)
epador:

hyper, I agree, this thread is psychodelic.

Ceti eels or puppet masters, now those are parasites that could explain a few things...

"You people are fucking hil... (Below threshold)
ryan a:

"You people are fucking hilarious."

Agreed.

Stomach parasites? I alway... (Below threshold)
bains:

Stomach parasites? I always thought the acid in our stomachs kinda prevented organisms from, you know, living in there for long. Now intestinal parasites are very real - and very nasty. And yes, they can cause one to lose a bunch of weight very fast. (Of this I have first hand knowledge.) However, if intestinal parasites are causing one to lose weight, they are also affecting a whole lot more. Like ones ability to stand for more than 30 minutes. Like ones ability to drink fluids and not squirt them out 15 minutes later. In other words, intestinal parasites that cause that kind of weight loss also affect ones ability to function - at all - in normal society.

I can't believe it's parasi... (Below threshold)
eaglewingz08:

I can't believe it's parasites, that would be like cannibalism.




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