There's a report out of England that finds that Christians are more militant than Muslims when it comes to integrating into society.
And it's a relief to hear that. I've been noticing the same here, but have been too afraid to say anything -- before now.
My own quiet little corner of New Hampshire is a veritable hotbed of tensions and hatreds.
Just down the road, there's a Catholic church. The priest has threatened to behead anyone who sells condoms.
On the other side of the town green, there's a Methodist church. They're holding a bake sale this weekend to buy car bombs.
A local dance club shut down after a Baptist suicide bomber blew himself up in it.
The Seventh Day Adventists one town south recently burned down a liquor store for opening on a Saturday.
The local Mormons (yeah, we got them, too) didn't appreciate the recent broadcast of the Tonys, complete with a scene from "The Book Of Mormon." They rioted and torched the local TV station.
There's a blood feud going on between the Episcopalians and the Congregationalists, and it's already claimed at least a dozen innocent lives. I think it started over hymnals.
Finally, there are the Jews. They're about to pack up and head somewhere more safe -- like Israel. At least there, they say, they only have to worry about the Muslims. And Islam, as they say, is a religion of peace.
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Religion, Satire
Comments (26)
And don't get me started on... (Below threshold)1. Posted by LeBron Steinman | June 20, 2011 3:52 PM | Score: 16 (16 votes cast)
And don't get me started on those masters of terror, the Amish.
1. Posted by LeBron Steinman | June 20, 2011 3:52 PM |
Score: 16 (16 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 15:52
2. Posted by ODA315 | June 20, 2011 3:54 PM | Score: 15 (15 votes cast)
Yeah I know Jay. We've had the same problem here in Spokane.
At the Lutheran church supper someone got pissed about the mushrooms in a casserole and started slashing the little gray ladies with his scimitar.
The media's been to scared to report it.
2. Posted by ODA315 | June 20, 2011 3:54 PM |
Score: 15 (15 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 15:54
3. Posted by ODA315 | June 20, 2011 3:55 PM | Score: 17 (17 votes cast)
Oh man, I forgot about the amish. Heard they were putting bombs in those handcrafted fake fireplaces. You plug 'um in and BOOM.
3. Posted by ODA315 | June 20, 2011 3:55 PM |
Score: 17 (17 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 15:55
4. Posted by PBunyan | June 20, 2011 4:00 PM | Score: 11 (11 votes cast)
Well to be fair, Christianity is a major stubling block to the formation of a single worldwide Communist government (what with it's belief in a Savior that's not a government official, it's focus on personal--rather than collective--salvation, and things like that) so it's no surprise that leftists see it as a threat. It's not a threat to the life, health, livelihood, or well being of any person or group of people, it's just a threat to the Democrat's/Leftist's/Statist's/Marxist's game plan (or "final solution", one might say).
4. Posted by PBunyan | June 20, 2011 4:00 PM |
Score: 11 (11 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 16:00
5. Posted by retired military | June 20, 2011 4:01 PM | Score: 7 (9 votes cast)
Dont forget about the buddhists, they are stoning women who get raped by men for not fighting back hard enough. They also insist the women cover everything but their eyes so as not to entice men. of course no driving for women either.
5. Posted by retired military | June 20, 2011 4:01 PM |
Score: 7 (9 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 16:01
6. Posted by Matt | June 20, 2011 4:06 PM | Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
And the Druids. Don't get me started on the Druids and their mistletoe...
6. Posted by Matt | June 20, 2011 4:06 PM |
Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 16:06
7. Posted by James H | June 20, 2011 4:06 PM | Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
I remain suspicious of the Unitarians.
7. Posted by James H | June 20, 2011 4:06 PM |
Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 16:06
8. Posted by GarandFan | June 20, 2011 4:22 PM | Score: 14 (14 votes cast)
Pshaw! None of them hold a candle to the Church of Anthropomorphic Global Warming!
8. Posted by GarandFan | June 20, 2011 4:22 PM |
Score: 14 (14 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 16:22
9. Posted by Brucepall | June 20, 2011 4:24 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Bwwwwhahahahahaha! Jay, you just made my day.
SF- Brucepall
9. Posted by Brucepall | June 20, 2011 4:24 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 16:24
10. Posted by Wayne | June 20, 2011 4:44 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
I thought it I was at another blog site until I realize you were being satiric. That could been a serious post at some sites.
10. Posted by Wayne | June 20, 2011 4:44 PM |
Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 16:44
11. Posted by Tsar Nicholas II | June 20, 2011 5:07 PM | Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
What's really ironic is that if you recited this post in the format of a lecture at a U.S. university or college a material percentage of your audience would not be able even to grasp the satirical aspect of it. You'd actually have to explain to them that you're engaging in ironic satire. That in turn would get them angry and they'd start acting out like loons.
11. Posted by Tsar Nicholas II | June 20, 2011 5:07 PM |
Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 17:07
12. Posted by davidt | June 20, 2011 6:31 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Those Christians make Satanists look like Sunday School.
12. Posted by davidt | June 20, 2011 6:31 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 18:31
13. Posted by Gmac | June 20, 2011 6:56 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
I sense a serious sarchasm gap, among the local trolls that is.
I can't wait for Art W and his lackey Chico to pop in and tell us "Truth to power dudes!"
Jay, we have a group down here we call 'Hard Ankle Baptists' or 'Rollers' for short.
They've been training snakes for years and have amassed enough poisonous snakes to wipe out a major city.
13. Posted by Gmac | June 20, 2011 6:56 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 18:56
14. Posted by serfer62 | June 20, 2011 6:58 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
The fucking Boy Scouts!!! Have you forgotten Them!!! God & Country! What they are doing is raising those Goddman Marines to kill, kill, kill
14. Posted by serfer62 | June 20, 2011 6:58 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 18:58
15. Posted by Ron | June 20, 2011 7:29 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
It's those agnostics that scare me most. Even they aren't sure, there is no telling what they will do.
15. Posted by Ron | June 20, 2011 7:29 PM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 19:29
16. Posted by Tom Cruise | June 20, 2011 7:35 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Don't you say anything about us Scientologists or I might go Mission Impossible Postal here.
16. Posted by Tom Cruise | June 20, 2011 7:35 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 19:35
17. Posted by glenn | June 20, 2011 8:03 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
A lot of stuff the Lutherans do in Northern California gets blamed (unfairly) on people of color like the Mexican gangs and the Ghetto thugs. I know it's hard to believe but it's true.
17. Posted by glenn | June 20, 2011 8:03 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 20:03
18. Posted by glenn | June 20, 2011 8:14 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Want proof. They had a shooting in Lodi 2 AM this morning (Yes, That Lodi) 2 victims, 1 critical. The media is reporting that it was gang related but since Lodi has more churches per square mile than any other city in NorCal it's obvious what is going on.
18. Posted by glenn | June 20, 2011 8:14 PM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 20:14
19. Posted by Roy | June 20, 2011 9:12 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
The Christians do have this guy (whom they worship) who stands at the gate to heaven and tells all the other religious people to go to Hell. That's pretty militant.
19. Posted by Roy | June 20, 2011 9:12 PM |
Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 21:12
20. Posted by jim m | June 20, 2011 9:23 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Well with 85% of Americans considering themselves Christians it stands to reason the they are proportionately responsible for crime as well.
With approx 17000 murders in the US every year that would mean that Christians are killing ~14000 Americans every year.
It's a holy war!
20. Posted by jim m | June 20, 2011 9:23 PM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 21:23
21. Posted by Jeff | June 20, 2011 9:56 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Given the level of muslim outreach and Sharia law being adopted in the UK I'm not surprised ...
21. Posted by Jeff | June 20, 2011 9:56 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 21:56
22. Posted by JLawson | June 20, 2011 10:27 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Glenn -
It was the Baha'i. Yeah, they look all innocent and such, but underneath that nonviolent, peaceful facade they're UZIs all the way...
22. Posted by JLawson | June 20, 2011 10:27 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 22:27
23. Posted by MunDane | June 20, 2011 11:49 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
JLawson, you are wrong too. I was the Jain...they act all peaceful and 'we won't harm a thing", sweeping their path with a broom and crap. Then, when you get home with them, they bring out a still beating heart of animals and eat them!
Or was that the Aztecs...damn i forget
23. Posted by MunDane | June 20, 2011 11:49 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2011 23:49
24. Posted by Wolf | June 21, 2011 8:51 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
The ones you gotta watch are the Quakers. If you even so much as breathe a word in defense of self-defense they will swarm on you like army ants.
24. Posted by Wolf | June 21, 2011 8:51 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2011 08:51
25. Posted by davidt | June 21, 2011 3:00 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Christians eat the body and drink the blood of their, "Savior."
Not even al quaeda does that.
25. Posted by davidt | June 21, 2011 3:00 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2011 15:00
26. Posted by Patrick T. McGuire | June 21, 2011 4:27 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
I laughed my ass off when I first saw your posting at OTB with this message. The last line was absolutely brilliant! I look forward to more genius in the future.
26. Posted by Patrick T. McGuire | June 21, 2011 4:27 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2011 16:27