Hare-brained hair

I realize that, as a balding man, I’m really not in any position to critique other men’s tonsorial choices, but recently I’ve seen two men whose hair desperately cried out for mocking. And since I am too cowardly to do it to their faces, I’ll do it here.

The first was a youngish guy, about 18 or so. He’d shaved his head, but he had a beard. No mustache, just a full Lincolnesque beard. It looked like his sideburns had kept growing and growing until they met at his chin. Just a giant “U” of hair on his face.

The second guy was an older guy, in his 50’s or so. He’d also shaved his head, but he’d missed a bit. He had a single band of hair running across the front of his head, a couple inches above and parallel to his eyebrows. It was about 1/4″ wide, and cut to about 1/4″ long. He had a bushy mustache, mostly gray but with hints of blond in it. It was all finished with a goatee, which was about 6″ long and died navy blue.

I’d chalk it up to my being a premature old fart, but the second guy has about 20 years on me. Am I just that much out of touch with modern fashion and mores?

Nah, I don’t care. I’ll just keep laughing at them (on the inside, of course, out of concern for my personal safety.)

J.

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