It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Winners will be announced Sunday.
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™
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About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
According to this article, if I lose more weight I’ll be smaller target for deadly melanoma causing solar radiation.
I’m sorry Kevin, were you saying something?
Britney: “So…what’s the latest gossip about Britney Spears. I just love reading about Britney.”
“Mmm…this looks interesting…’The Cheeto Diet For Dummies’…mmm…Cheetos…”
“Hmmm…this magazine says I can lose weight by sitting on a lawn chair and reading this magazine…”
Whoever would have thought that a magazine about the Japanese parliament could be so interesting……
Less tar? Great taste? Why haven’t I been smoking all this time?
ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ…snork…umppphhh….ZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZ
South Beach diet my ass! I’ve been here 2 weeks and haven’t lost a pound!
“Yuk — who is that fat slut with the cig in her mouth??? OMFG, it’s ME!!!”
“Hmm…Dick Cheney….yummy…. Dammit, now I have to go change my bikini bottom.”
“Hmmm. Where can I get one of those ‘feeding tubes’ I’m always hearing about?”
Britney discovers that her Spring Break one-nighter with Bill Clinton leaves her feeling hungover and a little bloated like she did growing up in the trailer back home…
“Kevin, you lying BASTARD! I’ve looked through ton’s of these diet magazine’s and I can’t find one article that say’s swallowing will help me lose weight! ”
Say, miss, can I read over your shoulder?
Do these glasses make my ass look big?
“Kirstie Alley was in ‘Wrath of Khan?’ Like, I’ve never even heard of them.”
“Hay Kay-vun, thuh hint for five acrosst sayz, ‘washed up skank…’ Its two wurdz and starts wif B-R-I-T and endz wif E-A-R-S.”
Hey Jay, bring me back a fifth of Jack Daniels and a pack of Marlboros from the 7-11
Dooley: Damn you! You caused another coffee spew….send money for cleanup.
Tragically, many Americans could recognize Britney Spears from this test photograph, indicating that the nation requires more therapy.
Mark McGwire: “I knew I shouldn’t have let Canseco inject me with those so-called steroids.”
“Dee-ayt…Dee-yeht…Daiyt….Deet….Dang, “Hooked on Phonics” didn’t work for me at all!”
“I’m gonna need a bigger magazine; my ass is STILL getting sunburned.”
“Does this magazine make me look fat?”
“Is it my imagination, or are these magazines getting fatter…?”
Let’s see, it says here they think I’m on a See Food Diet. Heh-heh. They’re way off! I hate fishy stuff.
I sure hope that the diet tips in this magazine work. I sure would hate to be on the beach and be called a whale.
Damned kabbalah didn’t help me get rid of 3 of my 4 chins.
Hmmm I wonder if there are any natural breast enhancement tips here.
Wow! If I do all of these diets at the same time in two months I’ll look like one of the Olson Twins.
14 minutes 59 seconds, and counting
“So it says here that you’re allowed to subtract the weight of implants from your overall weight. Cool! Easiest, diet, ever!”
“Hay, this here story looks intrestin’, “Debbie Gibson Diet Secrets”.
JBX 37.58 -0.20, MCD 31.58 +0.13, YUM 52.32 +1.72, DPZ 17.91 +0.22,… why did my broker say I need growth stocks when my butt is getting BIGGER!?!
Honey, does this bikini make me look fat?
[I hereby withhold my suggested caption because it is Good Friday, because I have limits to what I will and won’t express, particularly publicly, and because I just can’t bring myself to type out here what it is I’d guess Britney Spears might be musing about where diet and intake of calories is concerned regarding a certain trendy overweight publisher of trashy, trendy magazines that is well known for being crude in print and media about Britney Spears and whom Britney Spears is reasonable in responding in kind about….]
But, an alternative:
“Hey, look at THAT guy! I wonder how many calories HE is?”
“Here I thought this magazine was about people who died! Everybody in here is fat and alive.”
“Britney, it’s your ass that makes your ass look big. Have a marshmallow peep.”
“What was it my mama said? Something like ‘You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but…’, something. What was it? Oh well, I think I’ll have another diet coke and a twinky.”
“OK Kevin let’s go over the plan one more time. I’m going to ‘accidentally’ fall out of my top. Start checking Wizbang and see how long it takes for the pictures to show up. Is the stopwatch ready?”
“The things I’ll do for a guest shot on that stupid Kirstie Alley show!”
“Hmmm..I sure could go for a little back-door action right about now.”
I swear, next year it’s back to the top of the FHM List!
Gosh, I sure hope this new diet works. My boobs are so big, I can barely hide them behind this magazine!
Reminds me of the time when I bought a ballet video for exercise and fell asleep on the couch watching it.
Hey Dipshit, I would like a dozen oysters and a magumn of champagine
“wings . . . no wings . . . wings . . . no wings . . . wings . . . no wings . . . Gawd, keeping up on feminine hygiene products is such hard work.”
Just add 10 million dollars & 30 more pounds to get Rosanne Barr…..’bout right.