“Give me all your money, sweetie — and call me some time. You have my number.”

A guy robbed a convenience store in New Hampshire last week.This wouldn’t be exceptional news, but the guy decided simple armed robbery wouldn’t be enough for him. He decided to cop a feel off the clerk at the time, tossing in a sexual assault charge as well.

Police didn’t have too much difficulty tracking him down, however. As part of his casing process, he’d gone in to the store earlier in the week. And to give himself an excuse for loitering around, he’d filled out a job application — with all his correct info.

Jonathan McKnight, 24 (wasn’t he one of the New Kids On The Block or something?), is now a guest of the state — and likely to stay there for a while.

It’s probably for his own safety. Anyone that dumb is a danger to himself.

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