Millions upon millions of people go shopping the day after Thanksgiving, nicknamed Black Friday. I usually avoid this at any cost possible. I do not like crowds, I don’t particularly enjoy shopping any time of the year, and I’d rather get my clothes from Target than some over-priced store at a mall.
However, this year my sixteen-year-old cousin was in town from Massachusetts and had never seen anything like Jacksonville’s St. John’s Town Center, and was dying to go. Technically, it’s just an outdoor shopping mall. But there’s a lot more to do than just shop. There are fantastic restaurants we never had in Jacksonville before (P.F. Chang’s, the Cheesecake Factory, Maggiano’s Little Italy), stores we never had before (like Louis Vutton and Coach), not to mention tons of entertainment options. I suppose for a sixteen-year-old with cash to burn, it’s Heaven.
So off to the Town Center we went, my cousin and I. We paid $5 for valet parking to avoid having to drive around for 45 minutes looking for a space, as the radio was advertising that the Town Center parking lot was 90% full. We went browsing at pretty much every female clothing store in the mall. None of it was really new to me. It was fun at first, especially listening to my cousin from Massachusetts complain about the sales tax we have here. I giggled at that all day — someone from Massachusetts complaining about taxes.
We went into American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, Lucky, Buckle… seemingly every store for girls that existed. The only one I had never been into, however, was Urban Outfitters. I’d heard of it, seen the catalog, but had never actually seen the store itself. My cousin made a beeline for it, and inside we went to look around.
It seemed like your typical teen store. We wandered over by some graphic T’s, when my sixteen-year-old cousin picked up a red-shirt emblazoned with the words “BUCK FUSH”. “What does that mean?”, she asked. I rolled my eyes, muttered, “Creative,” and told her to switch the “B” and the “F”.
After that, I got curious as to just what kinds of stuff they were selling there. I started browsing a little more. And when I got home, I looked up their website to see more. I laughed, at first, looking at the “models” on the website. Every single one of them looked unwashed and unkempt, with stringy hair, a washed-out complexion, and a glazed look in their eyes. It reminded me of the rock-star look — rock stars who had just recovered from nearly ODing on heroin or some other hard drug. The clothes themselves, though, didn’t make me laugh.
What I found told me that Urban Outfitters could probably start selling tinfoil hats in their accessories department, because in actuality, it’s clothing suited for residents of Liberal Land.
These are the “political” shirts they had to offer:
I think the only liberal talking point they didn’t cover was abortion. The tagline could be, “KILL BABIES, NOT TERRORISTS!”, or, “FIGHT LIFE!”
The cynical side of me wasn’t surprised in the least. It did, however, make me a little sad to think of teenagers walking around with these shirts on, not really understanding the statement they were making. They’d probably look at the shirt screaming “PEACE NOW” and think nothing of wearing it; after all, who doesn’t want peace?
I noticed there were no “F is for Fred” t-shirts, or “friends don’t let friends vote democrat” t-shirts. There was nothing about “GIVE FREEDOM A CHANCE!”, or “SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!”, or “do the right thing!”, no “KUCK FERRY!” OR “HUCK FILLARY!”… no, it was just your typical, bratty, liberal talking points. But hey, this is the only way liberals can get their audience, right? Drive those talking points home at a young age so they grow up believing them.
Luckily, my cousin was not interested in any of those shirts (she actually thought the BUCK FUSH shirt was the dumbest thing she’d ever seen), and we left the store rather quickly.
It would be nice, though, to maybe see a store that gave an option to us conservatives — although I think most conservatives have more class than to wear a shirt that says “HUCK FILLARY!” Unfortunately, as I said before, a fifteen-year-old won’t get the obnoxiousness of it, the bratty, liberal message they’re sending. It’s just another t-shirt to them with a cool slogan on it, and while Urban Outfitters was by far the most blatant about it (that I saw, at least), shirts with liberal bleating on them are by no means uncommon.
It really is too bad.