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It can be fun being an illegal alien

Last Monday afternoon, police in New Ipswich, New Hampshire (a small town along the Massachusetts border in central-to-western New Hampshire) spotted a van speeding through town. They stopped it and found the driver’s license had been suspended. Then they turned to the nine passengers. After getting an interpreter from a neighboring department, it was revealed that all nine were illegal aliens.

The police, naturally, arrested all ten men and impounded the van. But New Ipswich is a small town. The chief (who was one of the arresting officers) called the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Bureau (the new name of the Immigration and Naturalization Service, since it was folded into the Department of Homeland Security) and informed them they had 9 illegal aliens in custody. After all, several of the 9-11 hijackers had gone through Portland’s airport before departing from Logan Airport in Boston. New Ipswich is less than 60 miles from Boston, and the Democratic National Convention is less than two weeks away. The ICE certainly ought to be interested in a group of illegal aliens.

Ought to, but wasn’t. After asking if any of the nine had been involved in any serious crimes, they told the chief to get their identities and let them go.

That’s right. Get their names (whatever names they choose to give) and let ‘em go. With the government warning everyone to be on the alert for potential terrorist threats, the Department of Homeland Security is telling police to “catch and release” illegal aliens who haven’t committed major crimes. By that standard, the 9/11 hijackers who had overstayed their visas, had they been caught beforehand, would have been released to get on board the same planes.

But there’s a difference, you see. The government is engaging in racial profiling. The illegal aliens are from Ecuador, not Saudi Arabia. Some illegal aliens are apparently less illegal than others.

New Hampshire’s senators, Judd Gregg and John E. Sununu, are looking for answers from the ICE. Plaistow, NH’s Police Chief Steven Savage, president of the New Hampshire Association of Chiefs of Police (and former chief of the town I grew up in), is also wanting answers. The ICE says that it was a matter of priorities – they have limited resources, and feel they have to focus on actual criminal activities instead of such lesser priorities as remembering what “illegal” in “illegal alien” means.

And if this isn’t enough insanity, someone else had to chime in. Eileen Phinney, founder of the Latin American Center in Manchester, NH, is worried that the mere possibility that existing laws might be enforced would constitute “demonizing” these “decent, hard-working people” who are “taking the necessary steps” to “become documented.” Apparently, the notion of starting that process BEFORE entering the country is a (pardon the pun) “foreign” notion to Ms. Phinney.

I’m briefly tempted to swing by Ms. Phinney’s house and act as an “undocumented guest” in her home. I’d help myself to a few of her possessions (which I will pay for as soon as I get up the money), use her bathroom (perhaps I’d flush, perhaps not – it depends on what part of my cultural heritage I feel like embracing at the time), and then if she protests or threatens to call the police, I’d accuse her of harassing me and discriminating against me based on my citizenship status.

I’d never do that, of course. I wouldn’t sink to her level. But it’s a tempting thought, nonetheless.

Instead, the next time a police officer asks me for my identification, I’ll tell him I’m Juan Valdez from Quito, Ecuador and I’m here illegally. Instead of getting a ticket or citation or whatever, I’ll get hauled off to jail for a couple hours and then released, with nothing to trace back to me. I should be safe – I’ve never been fingerprinted or had my DNA tested.


Comments (1)

I'll finish it without even... (Below threshold)

I'll finish it without even reading the rest. It's something that happens here in Arizona all the time.

Local authorities contact I&C and I&C tells them to let the aliens go - stating policy. What's more, they tell the local authorities that there is policy from the I&C higher ups stating the local authorities have no business detaining illegal aliens.

(Note from Jay Tea: Joel, I edited your post to fix the typo in your URL. If commenting on something I wrote gets you ANY traffic, I like to make sure it actually ends up back on your page.)







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