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Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Weekend Caption Contest™:

» The American Mind linked with The Return of Sen. Zoop!

» Aaron's Rantblog, aka Aaron the Liberal Slayer linked with My Submission to Wizbang's Weekly Contest

Comments (142)

"Whaddya mean 4 more years!... (Below threshold)
Phx Rising:

"Whaddya mean 4 more years!"

"Can you say dis-en-... (Below threshold)

"Can you say dis-en-FRAN-chise-ment?"

"So thats three, four, f... (Below threshold)

"So thats three, four, five positions on Iraq this week."

What? No Ketchup? Talk to t... (Below threshold)

What? No Ketchup? Talk to the hand!

" You're voting for " WHO!!... (Below threshold)
George Thomas:

" You're voting for " WHO!!!'

Note the childlike spelling... (Below threshold)

Note the childlike spelling of "that's" -- with no apostrophe. Adds to the realism of the post, I say.

[hangs head in shame]

Four? You're four? Oh, ho... (Below threshold)

Four? You're four? Oh, how sweet. That's how many state's I'm going to carry in November . . .

Yes, son, the next heiress ... (Below threshold)

Yes, son, the next heiress I marry will have to have at least FOUR billion dollars.

As long as Rodney Dill stay... (Below threshold)

As long as Rodney Dill stays away, I have a chance.


Votes? You'll get this many... (Below threshold)

Votes? You'll get this many.

" I lost these two fingers ... (Below threshold)

" I lost these two fingers after your supporter's ripped my Bush/Cheney sign out of my hand"

"TALK TO THE HAND, B-ITCH!!... (Below threshold)


Kerry interviews a new camp... (Below threshold)

Kerry interviews a new campaign manager.

"what?" "You've only flip ... (Below threshold)

"what?" "You've only flip flopped four times?" "Sorry little buddy but I have you beat by at least 10!!"
"maybe when you grow up you can me the master flip-flopper just like me"

"Ooooooh, aren't you a smar... (Below threshold)
Phil Smith:

"Ooooooh, aren't you a smart little boy!! From now on, I'LL try putting ALL my fingers in the wind instead of just one!!"

John Kerry is rebuffed by a... (Below threshold)

John Kerry is rebuffed by a four-year-old as he proves yet again that he has no sense of personal space.

"I actually said it was thr... (Below threshold)

"I actually said it was three before I said it was four!"

Kerry: That booboo looks pu... (Below threshold)

Kerry: That booboo looks purple heart worthy!

Oh My God! Give this man a ... (Below threshold)

Oh My God! Give this man a breath mint!

My man is W. Now back off k... (Below threshold)

My man is W. Now back off ketchup boy!

"Look here you litt... (Below threshold)

"Look here you little punk,I'm a war hero.Don't flash any of your gang signs at me!"

Kerry: Who YOU gonna tell I... (Below threshold)

Kerry: Who YOU gonna tell I took your lunch money?

I was going to do the numbe... (Below threshold)

I was going to do the number of positions on Iraq, but (despite the grammatical error) I see that Dr. Steve has beaten me to the punch. Rather than come up with something else, I'll toss my support to him.

you only want me for my pim... (Below threshold)

you only want me for my pimp juice...

Senator John Kerry, Democra... (Below threshold)

Senator John Kerry, Democratic presidential nominee, expresses surprise when Tyler Bishop of Tuckalo, Ark., flashes a "W" in response to the senator's obsequious pandering.

Kerry - I hear you come hig... (Below threshold)

Kerry - I hear you come highly recommended by Mary Mapes and Joe Lockhart.....

Kid - I think I can copy three of those pages you have, but not the other three....

What am I paying you - $30,... (Below threshold)

What am I paying you - $30,000.....and all I got were those lousy MS Word documents.....what's a candidate to do.....If I give you $40,000 will you use a IBM Selectric?

Oh no son, I haven't spent ... (Below threshold)

Oh no son, I haven't spent nearly that many days in the Senate this year.

“You type your entire blog ... (Below threshold)

“You type your entire blog with three fingers on one hand? That’s great, Oliver! "

"And by the way, you look much smaller in person than you do in the picture on your web site.”

Senator Kerry and campaign ... (Below threshold)

Senator Kerry and campaign manager Joe Lockhart prepare to respond to Iraqi Prime Minister Allawi's speech before Congress Thursday...

Lockhart - Talk about puppets, John. Kids like puppet shows.

It's not a 3 Mr Kerry! It's... (Below threshold)
Jimmy James:

It's not a 3 Mr Kerry! It's a W silly!

In a nuanced reenactment, J... (Below threshold)
Kot Begemot:

In a nuanced reenactment, John Kerry illustrates just how he would have behaved on the morning of 9/11 when informed of the terrorist attacks. Here, little Jimmy counts down the number of seconds before Kerry is to heroically and presidentially spring into action.

You have 3 brothers? Wow, ... (Below threshold)

You have 3 brothers? Wow, that's how many SUVs I bought last week!

Your mother's worth how mu... (Below threshold)

Your mother's worth how much?

OK, see, I took away two an... (Below threshold)

OK, see, I took away two and then I'm going to take two more away and then Mr. What'syourname that will leave you with just one finger, OK.

Senator Kerry is shocked to... (Below threshold)

Senator Kerry is shocked to learn the children in the Carribbean are clothed.....

John Kerry receives the end... (Below threshold)

John Kerry receives the endorsement of another lemonade stand volunteer on Friday, broadening his fundraising support among illegal minor campaign contributors.

Mister, I've asked you thre... (Below threshold)

Mister, I've asked you three times already, please sign that Form 180......

"Snoopy?"... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:


"Snoopy?"... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:


Senator Kerry enjoys an up ... (Below threshold)

Senator Kerry enjoys an up and coming rap artist, Sir-Counts-A-Lot, last Wednesday during playtime at Collinswood Elementary.

"Nice Horsey."... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Nice Horsey."

Senator John Kerry inquires... (Below threshold)
Randy P.:

Senator John Kerry inquires as to how many red stars on your homework it takes to get an early release to the playground.

"How many dollars can you s... (Below threshold)

"How many dollars can you spare for my vanity run at the White House? ... Is that three or four? ... Don't you have a bicycle you can sell? Don't you know who I am?"

"Why, yes. Yes, I do have ... (Below threshold)

"Why, yes. Yes, I do have three Purple Hearts."

Whoah, you're *three*, huh?... (Below threshold)

Whoah, you're *three*, huh? Well, you just remember to tell your mommy to write ONE-EIGHT on your Absentee Voter Registration Card, okay?

"Smell my fingers, I went p... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Smell my fingers, I went poop by myself, but I can't reach the sink."

"My daddy say's your wife's... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"My daddy say's your wife's a crack ho."

one...two...three...four,<b... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

You're a loser, like Al Gore.

Young Kerry Operative Telli... (Below threshold)

Young Kerry Operative Telling The Candidate How Many Points That He is Behind Bush in Florida

My momma knew Bill Clinton.... (Below threshold)

My momma knew Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton was a friend of my momma. Senator, you're no Bill Clinton.

Kerry: You're three years o... (Below threshold)

Kerry: You're three years old?"
Kid: "No, silly. That's not for "three". That's a "W". Now back off. Your brie breath is gonna make me hurl."

"Wow, you've got three dadd... (Below threshold)

"Wow, you've got three daddies???"

Hey mister, that crazy lady... (Below threshold)

Hey mister, that crazy lady with you said that one state is not a whole state.... does that mean it's three states? Or is it just missing three counties?

"You'll carry this many sta... (Below threshold)

"You'll carry this many states."

Dad, I just turned 4!... (Below threshold)

Dad, I just turned 4!

No son, I will be the SECON... (Below threshold)

No son, I will be the SECOND black President.

"Get your ugly ass Shar-Pei... (Below threshold)

"Get your ugly ass Shar-Pei mug out of my face Mister ...
and get ya some of those oral care milk bones will ya...you breath stinks worse then my doggies behind"

You're three? Great!<... (Below threshold)

You're three? Great!

When I was your age, I had cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam..

You're three? Last time I s... (Below threshold)

You're three? Last time I saw someone your age, I shot the little bastard in the back with a 50 cal as he ran away from me......

Senator Kerry seeking the s... (Below threshold)

Senator Kerry seeking the support of yet another foreign leader -- Jeremy Koomba, leader of table #6 in Mrs. Johnson's Kindergarten class, Nairobi Kenya.

John Kerry oversees an abse... (Below threshold)

John Kerry oversees an absentee voter registration drive sponsored by the NAACP's National Voter Fund yesterday in Lake County.

"Mommy says if you're n'gle... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Mommy says if you're n'glected you'd be resident scarey."

- ....You tell her I'm not ... (Below threshold)

- ....You tell her I'm not paying a dime over 2 grand a month....and stop calling me daddy...."

John Kerry visits his son, ... (Below threshold)

John Kerry visits his son, Tyrone, at school yesterday, proving once and for all, that his wife Teresa Heinz-Kerry is indeed an African-American.

Senator Kerry interviewing ... (Below threshold)

Senator Kerry interviewing applicant for new Iraqi Prime Minister, who correctly answers how many points are in a Sunni Triangle.

Senator Kerry receives his ... (Below threshold)

Senator Kerry receives his annual prostate examination yesterday while discussing his healthcare plan with students from MLK Elementary.

Pssst. Hey, Jimmy. I'll dis... (Below threshold)

Pssst. Hey, Jimmy. I'll distract him with the finger trick and you hit him in the balls with your lunchbox.

Pull my finger!... (Below threshold)

Pull my finger!

That's right little boy, I ... (Below threshold)
Chris W.:

That's right little boy, I AM going to quadruple your father's tax rate.

Senator Kerry sits astonish... (Below threshold)

Senator Kerry sits astonished as "Reaganomics" is explained...

Mr. Kerry,It's a f... (Below threshold)
Brad Husotn:

Mr. Kerry,

It's a four point plan. First your for the war, then against, then for, then against.

Mr. Kerry,It's a f... (Below threshold)
Brad Huston:

Mr. Kerry,

It's a four point plan. First your for the war, then against, then for, then against.

"Senator,you are now in a ... (Below threshold)

"Senator,you are now in a deep state of hypnosis,you will not be able to move,you will not be able to speak,you will never be able to flip-flop again..."

"Senator,you are now in a ... (Below threshold)

"Senator,you are now in a deep state of hypnosis,you will not be able to move,you will not be able to speak,you will never be able to flip-flop again..."

Hey, Mister, didn't you pla... (Below threshold)

Hey, Mister, didn't you play a tree in a movie? Why are you still in the costume? Can I touch it? Does it hurt?

Caption: Kerry accidently ... (Below threshold)

Caption: Kerry accidently blows some gas out of the other end for a change (the end wherein his brain lies).

Kerry: "Oops, I think that was a Hershey-squirt, but it felt pretty good."

1st Young Child: "That's OK mister, I did that 3, maybe 4 times today already."

2nd Young Child: "Yeah, but this guy's smelled nasty."

"Raise one finger for every... (Below threshold)

"Raise one finger for every time I voted in the Senate this year"

"If I go to Emerald City wi... (Below threshold)

"If I go to Emerald City with you, do you think the Wizard would give me a brain?"

That stupid expression on his face - he just looks like the Scarecrow. Apologies to Ray Bolger.

Young Lad Shows Senator Ker... (Below threshold)

Young Lad Shows Senator Kerry How Many Times His Mommy Intends to Vote For Him.

What so great about a bronz... (Below threshold)
Carl Smith:

What so great about a bronze and silver star. I got three gold stars last week.

That's right, Billy. Four w... (Below threshold)

That's right, Billy. Four whole months. Wanna hear about my secret mission into Cambodia?

"We learned a new Rumsfeld ... (Below threshold)

"We learned a new Rumsfeld fighting style in recess today -- mesmerizing flashbulb hands!"

Don't throw your vote away, Norman!

Son, that's right. If you g... (Below threshold)

Son, that's right. If you get hit with three spitwads, you get to leave Mrs. Hannigan's stupid math class and go to recess instead.......

"Mommy told me to t... (Below threshold)

"Mommy told me to tell you thwee things..Shove it...you idiot....Scumbag !

"...you don't have a daddy ... (Below threshold)

"...you don't have a daddy anymore, and your mommy has $3 billion dollars?"

That's right, "W" does stan... (Below threshold)

That's right, "W" does stand for wind- surfing...and...wussie...how cute is that..hehehe...and...Wonderbread motherf*ucker???!!!

"Three" my little black ... (Below threshold)

"Three" my little black ass! It's a "W;" ya' honky son-of-a-bitch!

You. Me. Bush. At the flag... (Below threshold)

You. Me. Bush. At the flagpole at six o' clock. My turf, my rules.

Kerry: Wait, wait, wait - ... (Below threshold)

Kerry: Wait, wait, wait - hold on kid. I gotta think about this. Two-plus-one equals... Hey, James, what the hell do our internals say two-plus-one equals, today?

Little Boy: when I was in ... (Below threshold)
Ron - WI:

Little Boy: when I was in Vietnam I got this many purple heart awards.

Kid: What's that smell?</p... (Below threshold)

Kid: What's that smell?

Kerry: Smell? What smell? I don't smell anything.

Oh! Your daddy died and you... (Below threshold)

Oh! Your daddy died and your mommy is rich, that's very interesting.

Observing Mrs. Robert’s dai... (Below threshold)

Observing Mrs. Robert’s daily spelling lesson, Presidential hopeful John Kerry learns that the “Three R” subjects do not really all start with the letter “R”. With renewed confidence, Senator Kerry issues a press release stating, “W STANDS FOR RONG.”

In a recurring nightmare, S... (Below threshold)

In a recurring nightmare, Senator Kerry is introduced to his alter-ego. Good Kerry flips off evil Kerry which caused him to flop forward.

"1 finger for pee pee, 2 fi... (Below threshold)

"1 finger for pee pee, 2 fingers for poo poo, and 3 fingers for both. Got it, potty face? Now grab a seat, mister."

Damn! I still can't flip a ... (Below threshold)

Damn! I still can't flip a bird!

A young man shows Kerry how... (Below threshold)

A young man shows Kerry how many voters are actually *for* him, rather than voting to oppose Bush.

Okay, three dollars. You ca... (Below threshold)

Okay, three dollars. You can play in my big bunny suit NASA gave me for three dollars.

Mister, can you name three ... (Below threshold)

Mister, can you name three important pieces of legislation that your sponsored in twenty years of being a Senator?

all these captions are winn... (Below threshold)

all these captions are winners! (even the duplicates...)

"My name is Jamal, and I ap... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"My name is Jamal, and I approve this bitch slap."

Four Little Debbies'!!! You... (Below threshold)

Four Little Debbies'!!! You little pirate, you only charged me three for that memo job, and let's be honest kid, that wasn't some of your best work.

Really, you've been in four... (Below threshold)
Jim S.:

Really, you've been in four Turkish prisons?

I know you told her 3 times... (Below threshold)

I know you told her 3 times the dog ate your homework Kenny, but if you can write your own after-action report, you'll get those gold stars.

So, if that other guy gets ... (Below threshold)

So, if that other guy gets elected, I'll be drafted in three years?

"Holy crap... these things ... (Below threshold)

"Holy crap... these things come in black?"

"I'm going to get my ass kicked in how many debates?"

DRUDGE BREAKING: John Kerry... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

DRUDGE BREAKING: John Kerry attempts to demonstrate his vocal and ethnic superiority as a presidential candidate by singing a comforting song to this young fellow.
Swing low sweet chariot, ....

Give this boy a Silver Star... (Below threshold)

Give this boy a Silver Star.

Sharing a lighthearted mome... (Below threshold)

Sharing a lighthearted moment on the campaign trail, Veep hopeful John Edwards jokes that there are really three Americas.

You're mommy was third in l... (Below threshold)

You're mommy was third in line at the sign up for Section 8 housing? That's great, Dominic.

My wife made Fortune 400's wealthiest family list once again this year. Whaddya think of them there apples, huh?

John Kerry is shown intervi... (Below threshold)

John Kerry is shown interviewing a future secret service agent. Cadet Dwayne Milhouse is willing to be cursed at three times while skiing or mountain biking with Senator Kerry.

Max Cleland tells John Kerr... (Below threshold)

Max Cleland tells John Kerry how many times he called Bill Burkett before obtaining forged documents.....

John Kerry meeting the gran... (Below threshold)

John Kerry meeting the grandson of General Giap in Paris last week, shows his facination with rap culture.....

Billy Donovan shows John Ke... (Below threshold)

Billy Donovan shows John Kerry the proper way to extend his hand when reaching out to American allies in the war on terror.....

"See, you keep all your fingers extended and shake hands. You've just been using your middle finger, mister!"

you wouldn't have taken out... (Below threshold)

you wouldn't have taken out Sadddam? bend over and let me bitch slap you...

previously to the boy next ... (Below threshold)

previously to the boy next to him-
our daddy's are in the national guard and here comes that jerk Kerry, I'll get him to bend over and grab him by the hair and you kick the rich ass priveleged boy in the ass....

I see dead campaigns..... (Below threshold)

I see dead campaigns..

Good try, Mitchell. But the... (Below threshold)

Good try, Mitchell. But the proper way to surrender is to extend both of your arms over your head a little bit higher. Trust me, I've had a lot of practice.....

Darius, listen I'm telling ... (Below threshold)

Darius, listen I'm telling you this works. If you keep telling the teacher you were home sick, when you were at the Toys R Us 50 miles away, they have no way to prove you weren't there. Trust me, I've told folks I'm where I am not for over 35 years.....

"That's right, Bush has fuc... (Below threshold)

"That's right, Bush has fucked up this country 4 years in a row. Very good, Johnny"

"Excellent salute, Bobby. Y... (Below threshold)

"Excellent salute, Bobby. You'll make a terrific Naval officer someday."

"Do YOU have any forged doc... (Below threshold)

"Do YOU have any forged documents?"

Mister, if you hold the bas... (Below threshold)

Mister, if you hold the baseball this way, using these fingers, you should be able to get the ball across the plate next time at Fenway......

Once again, John Kerry's na... (Below threshold)

Once again, John Kerry's national security adviser identifies and explains the Axis of Evil.

"I know who you are, you're... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"I know who you are, you're one of the Asses of Evil that teacher told us about."

Even at this stage of the c... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Even at this stage of the campaign, John Kerry is still trying to discredit the Botox treatment claim by demonstrating to everyone he meets that he can wrinkle his forehead.

You've got three favorite c... (Below threshold)

You've got three favorite cap guns? My favorite gun is a Communist Chinese assualt rifle that reminds me of my time in Cambodia....

"Ooh... You're right. I s... (Below threshold)

"Ooh... You're right. I should have thrown my medals underhand with that nice flourish at the end. Flashy. Nice."

"You gotta big BANANA NOSE,... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"You gotta big BANANA NOSE, HA HA HA!"

You see HOW MANY furrows on... (Below threshold)

You see HOW MANY furrows on my forehead?

Precocious phrenologist P D... (Below threshold)

Precocious phrenologist P Doody counts the number of years Dubya will continue be President in Kerry's forehead.

Sorry...Precocious... (Below threshold)


Precocious phrenologist P Doody counts the number of years Dubya will continue to be President in Kerry's forehead.

What a conicidence, my wife... (Below threshold)
Jim S.:

What a conicidence, my wife is an African-American too!

"Read between the lines, bi... (Below threshold)

"Read between the lines, bitch."

Very good Johnny...How'd yo... (Below threshold)

Very good Johnny...How'd you know how many votes I've been to on the Senate floor this year?

John Kerry, trying to prove... (Below threshold)

John Kerry, trying to prove he'll be the second "black" president, visits a pre-school class in the inner city. Little Johnny has just shown the senator how old he was (4) and the senator responded in kind: "Forshizzle dogg? That be the shizzle on da grizzle!"

1. we are not on welfare.</... (Below threshold)

1. we are not on welfare.

2. tax cuts for the rich is bull , even i know the rich pay most of the taxes.

3. you can't build a coalition past actors and rock stars and that won't win the war on terror, at least that's qhat I read on the blog, www.stungbythewasp.com.

now scram ans stop patronizing me..

So if I advocate a longer r... (Below threshold)

So if I advocate a longer recess, do you think you can get your mommy to vote for me?

Whaddaya mean you like Bush... (Below threshold)

Whaddaya mean you like Bush? Son, let me explain something to you. As an African American, you need to understand that you have a special duty to support democrats. Do you think you got into this swanky private school based on merit? If it weren't for the preferences I support, no blacks would succeed at anything. Bush is the racist for suggesting otherwise.

"The over-under on Botox co... (Below threshold)

"The over-under on Botox comments for this contest was 4, Mr. Kerry. Now give me $100, and never take the over again."

<a href="http://wizbangblog... (Below threshold)

Winners announced. Comments are now closed.






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