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Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners

Sorry for the delay... This weeks Weekend Caption Contest™ again had a boatload of entries. Poor Rodney discovered that my intense dislike of Culture Club outweighs the originality of his caption.

Here are the winning captions for following photo:

Democratic nominee John Kerry (L) and U.S. President George W. Bushspeak at the conclusion of their first presidential debate, at the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida, September 30, 2004. Bush and Kerry battled over Iraq in a fierce debate on Thursday, with an aggressive Kerry accusing the president of 'a colossal error of judgment' and Bush claiming the world was safer without Saddam Hussein. REUTERS/Jim Bourg

1) (Fred) - "W: As soon as we get all this damn TV makeup stripped, wanna go for a beer?"
J (with shocked look): You take off the makeup?

2) (OneDrummer) - "It's the wrong makeup, in the wrong place at the wrong time."

3) (spacemonkey) - "Kerry thought balloon... I've got that dress"

Honorable Mention

Couture Flub
(featuring: Boy John Kerry)

Denying Swiftvets with my lies all the way,
But I've got three purple hearts, what do you say,
I'm a man without conviction
I'm a man who doesn't know
How to sell more contradictions
I flip and go
I flop and go

Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
I flip and go
I flop and go
Lying is so easy, 'cause the truth would make 'em scream.
My record is clean
My record is clean

Don't you hear my wicked words every day
You've used my words against me, I heard you say
That my presence is an affliction,
but Teresa's money makes me strong
When we vote, you'll be gone forever
'been Pres. too long
'been Pres. too long

Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
I flip and go
I flop and go
Lying is so easy, 'cause the truth would make 'em scream.
World leaders like me
World leaders like me

Every day is Poll survival
You're my opponent, you're my rival
Every day is Poll survival
You're my opponent, you're my rival

I'm a man without conviction
I'm a man who doesn't know
How to sell more contradictions
I flip and go
I flop and go

Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
I flip and go
I flop and go
Lying is so easy, 'cause the truth would make me scream.
'Cause you're so mean
'Cause you're so mean

5) (Leopold Stotch) - "Kerry: [sigh] Yeah, I know."

6) (MahaRichie) - "Kerry: Just accept the applause,and let the asshole's believe we ARE the Righteous Brothers.

Bush: But isn't the shorter guy dead?

Kerry: Precisely."

Until next Friday...

Comments (15)

Thought Rodney would win wi... (Below threshold)

Thought Rodney would win with his Salvador Dali post.... then I thought about it, too high brow for this crowd.... ;)

Poor Rodney discovered t... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Poor Rodney discovered that my intense dislike of Culture Club outweighs the originality of his caption.

Heh, but at least you mentioned it, and I'm sure someone will like it, which is the intent all along. I knew I had to do something original after I saw OneDrummer's "It's the wrong makeup, in the wrong place at the wrong time." Thought he had it wrapped up. I have not great love for Boy George either, but the words fit just to good to pass up.

(Left part out.) K... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

(Left part out.)

Knew I should've gone with.
"Pull my French manicured finger."

Do you really want to hurt ... (Below threshold)

Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?

Oh, I'm sorry, thought I heard Josh Marshall this morning....

Once again total la... (Below threshold)

Once again total lameness win's the day.I can only figure that the person or persons judging has the same silly and uncreative mentality as the vast majority of entrants.
Using such obvious topics as make-up,lipstick.dresses
etc.instead of really brainstorming and coming with a totally original caption is where this contest falls short.(Please note my second two entries) I am not saying that I necessarily should have won,but they are totally original,and do not rely on previous quotes or very lame word substitutions for recorded songs.
If one was a totally original THINKER, they would create all new lyrics in their OWN fucking song format.Oh,I know it takes time and effort to be original and to think outside the box,but you should try it sometime..you may like it.
In the meantime can someone please tell me the meaning of Fred's winning caption?I don't get it!
There were definitely a few others that although also weak were more clear.
I would also like to mention the absolute JERKS that apparently do not read through the previously entered captions and realize that their stupid topic was already hit on earlier.To wit(lips,lipstick, tans manicures,dresses,ass kissing,perfume,etc).It might be a good idea to get your caption in before you are totally SLOSHED.

Bah! Oh, I am a poor pathet... (Below threshold)

Bah! Oh, I am a poor pathetic little creature that fills his days and nights with old testament wailing and nashing of teeth about things that are so important and profound that I lose all sense of balance.....

Kevin, please give Maha my 2nd place trophy and gift certificate to Jammies 'R' Us. He needs to be recognized more than just an honorable mention spot behind Rodney... really, his stuff is that good. I just want him to be happy is all.

Well, wait.... if you do that, he'll be better than what, these total lame ass captions he rails against?

OneDummer:I just go... (Below threshold)

OneDummer:I just got back from my regular Tuesday night gig,where I once again had the enjoyable opportunity to entertain regular folks with material that I can confidently say, is well thought out,unique and original.
I don't need your prizes(In fact I didn't even know there were prizes!).
When I first came across Wizbang's Caption contest,I thought,hey this could be fun:entering captions and competing in a fun way against other creative people.I was and I still am amazed at the lack of legitamite inventive thinking.It is like entering a bowling tournament,and competing against a bunch of uncoordinated goofs:No plan,no approach,mostly gutter balls.However the most disturbing part is(and I am not speaking of the well meaning entrants who submit 1 or 2 captions on a whim)the panty head wearing self-agrandizing multi- submission,entrants with delusions of grandeur.Wake-up.YOU STINK.If you submitted this garbage,for perusal,to the population at large,you would I believe, be subjected to a pandemic of vomiting of unheard proportions.
On a positive note,I really do think there is some talent out there.If only you would stop thinking about your own ego's,and consider the reception of your entries by others.Lame is lame.Silly is silly.Disgusting is disgusting.Cheap is cheap.Unique is unique.Creative is creative.And quality thinking does not come along in a weak flash of divine inspiration,but is the result of SINCERE EFFORT.

Maha,The funny part ... (Below threshold)

The funny part about your posting is not so much that fact you are a condescending snob, but that you want to wield your snooty attitude around a la Judge Smails in Caddyshack, while pointing out that we panty head wearing self-agrandizing multi- submission don't belong in the 'comedy country club' because we're too much like Rodney Dangerfield.

You must have some inferiority issues going on in that brain of yours to go to the length and breadth of your whiny tiresome rants about this contest. Being the 'confident' performer that you are, why does this stuff bug you so much? Do you really think that we have delusions of grandeur? Gosh, I'd better cancel that open mike night I had planned next week! LOL! Rodney, that goes for you too!

If this really was to be such a fun:entering captions and competing in a fun way against other creative people type of thing, you really wouldn't spend so much time tearing down others on here. Being opinionated is great; feel free it's America.

OneDummer:I think i... (Below threshold)

OneDummer:I think it is bad form to use the name of a great performer who has just passed away to justify your position.
That said,I think the problem is more with the judging or lack thereof.I do not get the impression that the delay's in posting the results is because of a HUGE # of entries.I cannot envision the powers that be,ruminating for 36 hours,(OH this is so tough to determine a winner). Rather(sorry)I think the judge/judges are busy(and rightly so),with other important postings,and only finally in a rushed perusal of the entries...determine who the winner shall be.Ah," priorioties priorities".
Kevin,if you are the judge,may I suggest that you pass this task to someone who can spend the time to seriously consider the entries and report the results on time.
That is the only caveat I have with your GREAT site.

Sorry OD I forgot t... (Below threshold)

Sorry OD I forgot to address why you think that I consider this so important.I don't really.I just think it could be a worthwhile and fun exercise.
if two things took place:
1.Better judging
2. Better competition

No.1 is up to Kevin

No,2 is up to you and 99% of the others.YOU CAN DO IT!

Uhhh, point # 1 - who are y... (Below threshold)

Uhhh, point # 1 - who are you to tell me I have bad form invoking Rodney Dangerfield? I didn't denegrate him, attack him, or say he sucked. Personally, his schtick is great some of the time, but not necessarily all the time. Give me Pryor or Alan King any day of the week.

Point # 2 - what's this about delay in posting and who cares anyways?

Point # 3 - Again, if this 'exercise' is worthwhile and fun, why do you pontificate, put-down and complain so much? No answer to this, so far in any post, as I expected. You seem to want to enjoy telling others what or how to do something.... to compensate for some thing that lack inside... only you can answer what that is Maha....

have a nice evening....

NEW CAPTIONJohn Ke... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:


John Kerry and George Bush stare on in disbelief as MamaBitchie and OneDumber continue to carry-on in a battle of wits
John: Do you think we should separate those two.
George: No, I wouldn't worry about it, I can see they're unarmed.

Now that made me laugh out ... (Below threshold)

Now that made me laugh out loud!

But now I sorta feel like the Breck Girl did last night....

Poor Rodney.You may... (Below threshold)

Poor Rodney.You may very well be the only one of multi submitting self agrandizing pantyheads that has no hope of improving in "uniqueness and creativity".You are so caught up in your own self-amusement with the "lamest of the lame" captions....you recovering from Lame Disease would be more difficult then trying to turn a pickel back into a cuccumber.

Heh...I like the "No plan,n... (Below threshold)

Heh...I like the "No plan,no approach,mostly gutterballs" Sounds much like some other people talking about No Plan,Wrong War,Wrong Time..blah blah blah.






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