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Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following photo:

(Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

Comments (73)

"Ya bastage. I can tell you... (Below threshold)

"Ya bastage. I can tell you're lyin' 'cause yer lips are movin'. Fricken Clinton clone."

President Bush looks on for... (Below threshold)
Stephen Swanson:

President Bush looks on forlornly at the mustache he was never able to grow.

Is that a hickey on his nec... (Below threshold)

Is that a hickey on his neck?

Two high maintenance mistre... (Below threshold)

Two high maintenance mistresses and a pregnant wife, no wonder he went bald!

As he watched it slowly pee... (Below threshold)

As he watched it slowly peel off under the heat of the lights, President Bush sudenly came to the sad realization Kirek's mustache might not be the only thing phoney about his nominee.

At what can best be describ... (Below threshold)

At what can best be described as a difficult press conference, Bernard Kerik declines Bush's offer and thanks his parents, Mister and Mrs. Potato Head, for their continued support.

President Bush knew his cho... (Below threshold)

President Bush knew his choice of Kerik could raise problems when Kerik reacted violently to Bush's calls to "End the Nanny State."

"You're the last time I lis... (Below threshold)

"You're the last time I listen to Guliani about anything that doesn't include cannollis for dessert."

After losing his "Mojo", Ge... (Below threshold)

After losing his "Mojo", George still hoped that Dr. Evil would show him his "Laser" at a later date.

"Why am I gettin' this sudd... (Below threshold)

"Why am I gettin' this sudden inexplicable urge to belt this guy? He only looks like Jesse Ventura!"

Bush: "Hmmm is it my imagin... (Below threshold)

Bush: "Hmmm is it my imagination or is his nose growing longer?"

Hey, that's not G. Gordon L... (Below threshold)

Hey, that's not G. Gordon Liddy!

(AP) Benard Kerik's confirm... (Below threshold)

(AP) Benard Kerik's confirmation to be the next Homeland Security Secretary came into question today when during the ceremony President Bush broke into a mildly amusing impersonation of 'Dirty Harry' and was quoted as saying "Do you feel lucky punk? Well, do ya?"

Nice guy. Comes recommended... (Below threshold)

Nice guy. Comes recommended by Guiliani, Bambi, and Bubbles.

Kerik: "Mr. President I ros... (Below threshold)

Kerik: "Mr. President I rose from being a beat cop in New York to New York City Police Commissioner during the most traumatic time in the city's history. I believe I have all the qualifications to be The Apprentice"

Bush: "Bernie You're Fired!"

Christ, did Kerik just fart... (Below threshold)

Christ, did Kerik just fart?

"You see, Rudy was on his c... (Below threshold)

"You see, Rudy was on his cell phone, and the president thought Rudy said, 'Bernie Kerik? What an asset,'...

Bush thought bubble:<... (Below threshold)

Bush thought bubble:

"Lie'n sack a shit"

Not necessarily funny, but probably true.

. o O (Hmm Where have I see... (Below threshold)

. o O (Hmm Where have I seen a mustache like that before?)

(Bush 43's thought bubble)

"Well, Bernie, when I refer... (Below threshold)

"Well, Bernie, when I refer to the 'gender gap', I mean something different entirely...."

Giuliani's gonna pay for th... (Below threshold)

Giuliani's gonna pay for this - if it takes me the next four years - he'll pay.

"If I concentrate real hard... (Below threshold)

"If I concentrate real hard, I might understand what he is saying, or at least be able to repeat it"

Bush said to be rethinking ... (Below threshold)
player of blues:

Bush said to be rethinking stance on cloning as the Liddy Experiment results seemed to be promising.

That aint no TEXAS stashe !... (Below threshold)

That aint no TEXAS stashe !

"You are one major Poon-Hou... (Below threshold)

"You are one major Poon-Hound, my friend..."

"I can't believe you porked that Vassar girl."

I’ll bet my affairs can top... (Below threshold)

I’ll bet my affairs can top any you ever had Mr. Prez!

Those full, sensuous lips .... (Below threshold)

Those full, sensuous lips . . .

those sweet creamy thights . . .

No wonder the nanny did him.

ya did it, didnya, c'mon yo... (Below threshold)

ya did it, didnya, c'mon you can tell me, ya did it, didnya, I jus know ya did it

Read my lips. No more mistr... (Below threshold)

Read my lips. No more mistresses!

Umm. Are you sure Rudy?</p... (Below threshold)
Pat Adkins:

Umm. Are you sure Rudy?

Karl, check this guy out. I think I smell a rat

"Pssst... Kerik... next tel... (Below threshold)

"Pssst... Kerik... next tell 'em I'm bigger around than a quarter!"

"Pssst... Kerik... how's my... (Below threshold)

"Pssst... Kerik... how's my hand feel on your ass?"

The President contemplates ... (Below threshold)

The President contemplates tearing Kerik a new asshole while Kerik attempts to explain to non-stupid people why he can't be commissioner anymore.

Kerik: "I'd like to thank t... (Below threshold)
L. Barnes:

Kerik: "I'd like to thank the president and his lovely, delicious wife Laura for their confidence in me, and I'd like to invite them to visit my apartment sometime soon, especially Laura who I really really hope will accept my invitation even if the president can't...."

Man, he TOTALLY looks like ... (Below threshold)

Man, he TOTALLY looks like the bald dude Indy fought around the airplane in Raiders. Wonder if I could take him?

Memo to self: No more blue ... (Below threshold)

Memo to self: No more blue staters!

I think I just saw his nose... (Below threshold)

I think I just saw his nose grow...

Lord; You keep giving me mo... (Below threshold)

Lord; You keep giving me mountains, after this one, I think I deserve one of the biggest.

Hmm. Dealings with the mob ... (Below threshold)

Hmm. Dealings with the mob and a mistress named Judith? Christ, this guy could pass for a Kennedy if he wasn't bald.

As Kerik spoke, Bush gradua... (Below threshold)

As Kerik spoke, Bush gradually leaned back so Jenna's spitwad-shooter would have a clear shot.

As Kerik spoke, one thought... (Below threshold)

As Kerik spoke, one thought ran through the President's head. "You #@!*ing jerk. I can't believe you screwed me like this."

Mr. Kerik stated that his f... (Below threshold)

Mr. Kerik stated that his first official act as head of Homeland Security would be to beef up the Border Patrol presence in his apartment building.

Serves me right for picking... (Below threshold)

Serves me right for picking a guy with worse public speaking skills than my own... Damn.

(thinks) I've never been ab... (Below threshold)

(thinks) I've never been able to get a moustache to fill in that well. A really dark moustache like that looks kind of dashing and manly. I remember Jeb used to grow a wispy beard and moustache in college and I would try it and mine would have bare patches. I wonder if he uses some type of salve? Or cream of some sort? That shape would just suit my mouth (imagines self giving speech with striking black moustache, to the approbium of the audience)

Who the F*ck is this guy an... (Below threshold)
Steve Talbert:

Who the F*ck is this guy and why am I here?

You've got a pretty mouth b... (Below threshold)

You've got a pretty mouth boy.

Bernard Kerik explains quit... (Below threshold)

Bernard Kerik explains quite logically that homeland security requires landing in two secure homes.

That’s right Mr. President,... (Below threshold)

That’s right Mr. President, the twins just wanted to see my apartment’s view of Ground Zero.

Bush thought bubble:<... (Below threshold)

Bush thought bubble:

"Shut up. Shuut uuup. Shuuutt UUUUPPPP. Shut the heck UUPPP. Shutup. Shutupshutupshutupshuuuttuuuuuup. Shut up. Shut the heck UUUPPP!"

(Bush thinking to self)<br ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

(Bush thinking to self)
"Hmmm, he lies and cheats..., but if he'll sing a chorus of The Sun Will Come out Tomorrow with me, he's my boy.

Kerik:"I'd like to... (Below threshold)


"I'd like to thank the liberal media for allowing me this opportunity to trump the Chevy Chase 'f*** Bush' meme."

President Bush thought bubb... (Below threshold)

President Bush thought bubble:

"So, Barney growled and Karen sneezed. I'm thinking that I need to take a closer look here. Maybe Rudy made a mistake, because Barney and Karen never do."

From down the corridors of ... (Below threshold)

From down the corridors of the White House, coming from the Press Corps, the background mumble of..."KARL ROVE DID IT!!!"

Hmmm panties, Stockings, a ... (Below threshold)

Hmmm panties, Stockings, a Wig..Wait No No No No

"If you say the war in Iraq... (Below threshold)

"If you say the war in Iraq is illeagal, like that Kofi. then I'm going to have your guts for garters, I'm watchin you."

Who did you think you were ... (Below threshold)

Who did you think you were going to work for ? Clinton ?

Kerik explains how he would... (Below threshold)

Kerik explains how he would personally frisk all passengers on air force one.

This Poon-Hound porked ever... (Below threshold)

This Poon-Hound porked everyone in New York,but Hillary. At least he's got that going for him.

What's that dangling from h... (Below threshold)

What's that dangling from his ear??? Hair Gel??? But he doesn't have hair? WHAT THE!?!?

Damn, think where those lip... (Below threshold)

Damn, think where those lips have been. Heh...see if he gets any now...

What's that smell?... (Below threshold)

What's that smell?

George Bush would have unma... (Below threshold)

George Bush would have unmasked the faker, if only he deduced that the faint whiff of tuna was from the mustache.

Bush later lamented,"I shou... (Below threshold)

Bush later lamented,"I shoulda known, seeing how the captain here liked all them blue skinned babes on his five year mission, he'd be a sucker for skin skinned babes here on Earth."

Bush wonders just how rich ... (Below threshold)

Bush wonders just how rich Kerik would actually be if ugly was nickels.

Kerik in surprise move to g... (Below threshold)
Justin B:

Kerik in surprise move to gain sympathy for his adulterous lifestyle admits, "I am a gay American".

Counter to conventional wiz... (Below threshold)

Counter to conventional wizdom (sic), Humpty could not be put back together again.

It's really too bad I'm a c... (Below threshold)

It's really too bad I'm a conservative. A Jersey street kid who made it all the way to NYPD's Commissioner and no one's busted him until NOW? That's the kind of security we need around here.

If you screw up my bid for ... (Below threshold)

If you screw up my bid for Person of the Year I'll...

"Ommigod, I just realized t... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Ommigod, I just realized that Kerik isn't bald, he's just a solar-panel powered sex machine!"

"Gawd, I can't believe this... (Below threshold)
Kaptain Krude:

"Gawd, I can't believe this G. Gordon Liddy wannabe was getting a piece of that Fox Hotness Judith Regan!"

Read his lips. No new capt... (Below threshold)

Read his lips. No new caption.

Bush wonders: "Hmmm, reckon... (Below threshold)

Bush wonders: "Hmmm, reckon what ol' Spongebob'd do in a sichy-ay-shun like this."

Bush: All I got for Christm... (Below threshold)

Bush: All I got for Christmas was this lousy mandate.






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