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Well, I was born in a small town...

It never fails to amuse me the odd names people give places. I grew up in a rather remote corner of Cow Hampshire, and whoever came up with the town names around us had a severe case of Ruralitis. We had a Bath, a Littleton, a Warren, an East Ryegate (in Vermont, but real close by), a Woodsville, and (my personal favorite) Swiftwater. I once noticed a mountain in upstate New York, near Vermont, called (I kid you not) "Nellie's Nipple." (And people say I need to get a life -- what about that guy?)

But listening to a Boston radio station, I was reminded of one of the oddest places I've ever heard of, one that conjures up the silliest and grossest images I've ever envisioned whenever I hear the name.

Can you imagine trying to explain to someone that you're from the town of Braintree? Ick...


Comments (36)

Try explaining Intercourse,... (Below threshold)

Try explaining Intercourse, P.A.

DKay, "intercourse" has a m... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

DKay, "intercourse" has a meaning apart from sex. That's why the customary full phrase is "sexual intercourse," which implies there's other types.

And the old dirty joke is true -- I've checked it on a map. You have to follow a rather circuitous route, but you can go from Blue Ball, PA, through Intercourse, PA, and arrive at Paradise, PA.

Hey, who just yelled "naked road trip!?"


No Jay... It could b... (Below threshold)

No Jay... It could be worse... MUCH worse.

And let's not forget Jackas... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

And let's not forget Jackass Hole, Wyoming (since renamed to "Jackson Hole."

This is bad, Paul. First thing I thought of when I saw that name you found was the mountain named "Nellie's Nipple" I mentioned, and thinking we'd be breaking the laws of Man and God if we combined the two places...

And can ANYONE tell me what a Brain Tree is? It sounds so disgusting...


A Braintree is connected to... (Below threshold)

A Braintree is connected to the brain stem.

Julie, I believe Braintree ... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Julie, I believe Braintree was one of the bluest parts of MA during the last election. I don't think ANY part or resident of Braintree is connected to a Brain Stem, or any other part of a brain.

(sorry, got a bit partisan there... but I'll do anything for a good cheap shot.)


Don't forget <a href="http:... (Below threshold)

Don't forget Boring, Oregon

And let's never forget the ... (Below threshold)

And let's never forget the fabulous Frozen Head State Park. Only in Tennessee. :-)

Oh, great, J. Finally got t... (Below threshold)

Oh, great, J. Finally got them to take a binky and settle down and now you go and do something to make them cry again!

Excuse the topicality...but... (Below threshold)

Excuse the topicality...but "Phuket" kind of, well,...ahem...you know.

Well, our second and sixth(... (Below threshold)

Well, our second and sixth(?) Presidents were from Braintree.

Oh, and how about all of you just go to Hell? Hell, MI, that is. (Zoom in all the way, it's a pretty small town.)

Hell, MII g... (Below threshold)

Hell, MI

I guess pigs must fly every winter in that neck of the woods...

As for Braintree, it's obvi... (Below threshold)

As for Braintree, it's obviously named after a mythical plant that people living in that state could benefit from finding.

Forget Braintree, where's Moneytree?

McGehee, it's <a href="http... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

McGehee, it's right here.


Dime Box, TXOil Trou... (Below threshold)
Steve L.:

Dime Box, TX
Oil Trough, AR

These are two of my favorites.

Braintree is weird, yes. B... (Below threshold)

Braintree is weird, yes. But what about Brainerd? The town from Fargo. I'm pretty sure it exists. You can pick a new brain from a brain tree, but if you're called a brainerd at school, watch out.

What about Big Bone Lick St... (Below threshold)

What about Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky? Or French Lick Springs in Indiana?
Or Seaman, Ohio?

Gee, what d'ya do this weekend, Joe?
Well, I took my girlfriend from French Lick to Big Bone Lick and stopped by Seaman on the way home. Jealous, aren't ya?

When I visited Braintree in... (Below threshold)

When I visited Braintree in Essex, England, nobody there knew why the town was so named. But I'll bet any Braintrees in the US were named after the one in Essex. And a visit to England will quickly show you that municipality naming is an incomprehensible art over there.

My favorite town name is Bucksnort, Tennessee.

I'm from SE MN myself, but ... (Below threshold)
biker babe:

I'm from SE MN myself, but I do know that there are a few strange city names "up nord", like Fertile, MN, which isn't too far from Climax. You could get directions, if needed, in Moorhead.

OK, I could regret sharing ... (Below threshold)

OK, I could regret sharing this, but some of these comments remind me of a trip my friend Pablo and I took on secondary roads through Iowa about 7 years ago... We were on our way to a friend's wedding rehearsal but turned up late. We had had giggle fits commenting on the names of the little towns we passed through along the way, so for some reason we thought it would be clever to tell the groom when we arrived, "Sorry we're late... we got past Tingley and were very close to Cumming when we decided to take a break."


Ah, crud. Beat to the punc... (Below threshold)

Ah, crud. Beat to the punch by biker babe. She didn't beat me to this, though: there's a rumor that some years ago, there was a newspaper headline in northern Minnesota that read, "Fertile woman dies in Climax."

Feh, can you imagine going ... (Below threshold)

Feh, can you imagine going to "Belchertown" High School? Every time I pass the sign for that town, I get the giggles.

There's also Climax, MI bes... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

There's also Climax, MI besides Hell

Well, if we're playing the ... (Below threshold)

Well, if we're playing the stange name game, I'm afraid us Canajun fer'ners have you licked big time. I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere. Including, but not limited to,

Elbow, Saskatchewan
Climax, Saskatchewan
Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.

What the hell, Saskatchewan itself rates mention.

Eekum Seekum, Nova Scotia
Joe Batts Arm, Nfld.
Hearts Desire, Nfld.
Hearts Content, Nfld.
Hearts Delight, Nfld.
Flin Flon, Man.
Shubenacadie, NS
Chibougamau, Quebec.

But wouldn't you really like an NFL team in the Phillipines, so you could sit back opn Sunday and watch Grren Bay take on the Manila Envelopes?

You'll find no braintrees i... (Below threshold)
Paul Zrimsek:

You'll find no braintrees in Braintree today. The ones along the coast were swept out to sea by the great brainwave of 1697, while the remainder were lost to brainstorms in 1804 and 1811.

Tightwad, MO.... (Below threshold)

Tightwad, MO.

And who are the favorite so... (Below threshold)

And who are the favorite son(s) of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan? Quick!

How about Smackover, Arkans... (Below threshold)

How about Smackover, Arkansas!?!

Nellie's Nipple must have a... (Below threshold)

Nellie's Nipple must have an irresistible ring to lonely explorers. Or, they know what they like and what that mountain looks like. There is at least one in California visible from I-15 between Vegas and LA. There is one up by Bakersfield as well I think. There is one off Nellie's Trail in Colorado, and goodness knows how many others there are out there.
If you want sheer creativity, get a "Milepost". It is the atlas/guide that covers all of the Alaskan roads and highways by, you guessed it, mile markers. I drove all over the Alaskan wilderness for 2 years with my sweetie. Now she just slugs me when we pass someplace like "Moosebutt Ravine" and I ask her "Wanna know how it got its name?

Here's one for y'all... Dry... (Below threshold)

Here's one for y'all... Dry Prong, Louisiana! I'm guessing it's what you end up with if you're not careful on Bourbon St...

I was zooming through Kans... (Below threshold)
Steel Turman:

I was zooming through Kansas, is there any other
way, and out of the corner of my eye caught a sign
that read 'Drunkard Kansas, home of the Drunkard

Now I was in a hurry, had long given up hope of
anything to eat until KC at best.

But when that flashed across my field of vision,
well I just had to to take the next exit and back up.

My kinda town doncha know?

Got back and got into to town and it turned out
it was 'Dunkard' Kansas.

I cannot tell you how disappointed I was.

Steel Turman: that town's a... (Below threshold)

Steel Turman: that town's almost certainly named after the Dunkards, an offshoot of Baptists. (To join the church, you get dunked underwater).

Bible readers get a laugh out of Onancock, a small town on Virginia's Eastern Shore.

I've always thought Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania was wonderfully poetic.

I got one for you...I live ... (Below threshold)

I got one for you...I live in Tulsa Oklahoma. In the great land of the Bible belt. Spell Tulsa backwards :o)

Try these Tennessee towns:<... (Below threshold)
player of blues:

Try these Tennessee towns:
Bucksnort, TN Which is southeast of Polecat, TN
Bugscuffle, TN

I just wante to say, I was ... (Below threshold)

I just wante to say, I was taking notes on an old newspaper article today, and I saw this entry about Fertile, Mn. And it said in the article that once there was a newspaper report about this lady from Fertile thta died in a nearby town. anyone, as you may guess, the newspaper headline that day read, "Fertile women dies in Climax". For anyone that cares, Climax (the town name) is from a word from the ancient greek langueage meaning Ladder or stairway.

There's a Dildo in Newfound... (Below threshold)

There's a Dildo in Newfoundland.






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