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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

In the rotunda of the U.S. Capitol, President Bush pays tribute to the late baseball legend Jackie Robinson, the first black baseball player to break major league baseball's racial barrier by joining the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947, in Washington, Wednesday, March 2, 2005. Bush's former rival in the 2004 presidential race, Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., the sponsor of the legislation to honor Robinson, listens at left. Robinson's widow, Rachel, accepted the Congressional Gold Medal in honor of Robinson's achievements on and off the baseball diamond. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™:

» Conservative Life - General Politics linked with Conservative Life Caption Contest #17

Comments (102)

Kerry: "Great. Now I have ... (Below threshold)

Kerry: "Great. Now I have George Bush's ass seared into my memory!"

As the vanquished Kerry loo... (Below threshold)

As the vanquished Kerry looked on at the victorious Bush he wondered if somehow, someday the secret stem cell research Teresa was funding would grow a spine for him comparable to Bush's. He was sure with such a spine honesty and decency would be his, then he could launch another run for the White House.....

Kerry: That was supposed to... (Below threshold)
April Dilli:

Kerry: That was supposed to be me up there! Oh why couldn't it be me?

"Baseball been berry, berry... (Below threshold)

"Baseball been berry, berry good for Bush" (if you know anything about how he profited on his sale of the Rangers by using public funds for that stadium)

"I fart in your general dir... (Below threshold)

"I fart in your general direction"

John Kerry: "I hope nobody... (Below threshold)

John Kerry: "I hope nobody at Wizbang figures out that I post under the name Brad! I know that I can beat this guy in 2008!"

"My fellow Americans, 'SIMO... (Below threshold)
Ray Midge:

"My fellow Americans, 'SIMON' didn't say to raise your right hand..."

Kerry whispers, relieved, "Almost got me on that one!"

"So then Karl said, 'No wor... (Below threshold)

"So then Karl said, 'No worries. He wears pink ties. That's dorky, and dorks don't win.' And wouldn't you know it? Look who's sitting in Dorky Pinktie Loser's Corner over there."

"And so I crushed him on th... (Below threshold)

"And so I crushed him on the personal integrity thing and on election day it...what?...he's right behind me?...for crying out loud, you gotta let me know, people!"

"You call that a pressed ha... (Below threshold)

"You call that a pressed ham?"

Hey, running for President ... (Below threshold)

Hey, running for President takes a lot out of anyone. Just look behind me - ol' Pants-on-Fire back there was once quite a bit taller than me, but now he just stands about wee high. In Texas we call them midgets.

General Washington receivin... (Below threshold)

General Washington receiving the sword of his humbled opponent, Lord Cornwallis.

deja vu all over again.

"Hmm hmm Ohio shoulda won..... (Below threshold)

"Hmm hmm Ohio shoulda won... J-Lo? damn swift boat vets.... J-Lo? J-Lo? J-Lo? Theresa my pills where are my pills?

"Back in Texas, I used to t... (Below threshold)

"Back in Texas, I used to think you could only stack shit about this high... but if you would direct your attention behind me and to my left, I guess I can finally admit I am wrong about something."

With the President complain... (Below threshold)

With the President complaining of a backache, the mysterious bulge containing Karl Rove's secret communications devices were now placed in a somewhat lower position.

"Ho-hum... Wish he'd finis... (Below threshold)

"Ho-hum... Wish he'd finish up. This fake smile is tiring. Hey, what's that bulge on his back? Wha... Wait a minute! He's still wearing a wire!!! That cheater!!!"

"Look at that stupid grin, ... (Below threshold)

"Look at that stupid grin, folks. He still doesn't get it. It's ELECTED, not SELECTED."

"See, Senator Kerry, not al... (Below threshold)

"See, Senator Kerry, not all Republicans think of blacks as hotel staff! Why, Senator Byrd isn't even a Republican!"

"Everybody feel free to eat... (Below threshold)

"Everybody feel free to eat while I'm speaking. Except Senator Kerry, of course. He doesn't get fed until he fills out Form 180."

President Bush welcomes th... (Below threshold)

President Bush welcomes the junior senator from Massachusetts back from his 4 year vacation.

So then he says "Two Irish men walk into a bar...., Stop me John and Ted if you've heard this one before."

Bush: "... and Condi told m... (Below threshold)

Bush: "... and Condi told me this one too, 'Did you know that Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. This guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.' I'm telling you, she's got way better stuff than Colin ever did."

Kerry---> hmmm.... from thi... (Below threshold)

Kerry---> hmmm.... from this angel George looks like my wife!

Bush----> What, you don't believe me?

He's president and I am lef... (Below threshold)

He's president and I am left here holding my penis. It is just not fair.

Kerry: "Hummn, no bulge thi... (Below threshold)

Kerry: "Hummn, no bulge this time."

George is finally able to p... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

George is finally able to prove out his statement made during the presidential campaign, "I shit bigger'n you."

Now that the election is ov... (Below threshold)

Now that the election is over, we are directing more federal funds into a search for the President's boot, but it may be lodged too far up Senator Kerry's ass, so we are also preparing a bill for a new pair of boots to be sent to the Senator should the search prove to be futile.

"I can't believe I lost to ... (Below threshold)

"I can't believe I lost to this idi... oooh what's that shiny thing over there?!"

Bullwinkle's caption is the... (Below threshold)
biker babe:

Bullwinkle's caption is the BEST!!!!!

"Okay, now all of you who a... (Below threshold)

"Okay, now all of you who are havin' trouble over to my left 'cause of the view, you jest git on up an' move over to my right, an' you won't have to look at the loser no more."

He's said "NUK-YOU-LAR" fou... (Below threshold)

He's said "NUK-YOU-LAR" four times, one more and I win this weeks pool.

Wait, wait! Before I turn ... (Below threshold)

Wait, wait! Before I turn over the podium to the Loser - er, the junior senator from Massachusetts - I've got a really good one for you. 'Why are there so many trees along the roads in France?'

Kerry: "God, I am so sick o... (Below threshold)
Phil Smith:

Kerry: "God, I am so sick of this view. You'd think I'd be used to it by now..."

Cool, I tilt my hand this w... (Below threshold)

Cool, I tilt my hand this way, and so does Herman Munster's head...

1) You see, this is where J... (Below threshold)

1) You see, this is where John Kerry wishes he was right now, and no I don't mean Cambodia or Laos. I talk about freedom, and he think I'm talking about french fries.

2) HEY... HO... AHHH.... HAAA... Hey, it worked for Jamie Foxx at the Academy Awards, it could work for me.

3) For my next impression, a haughty looking French dude... oh wait, he's right behind me? So much the better. He can see what kind of ass he was during the campaign.

Kerry; "Mon Dieu, what a be... (Below threshold)
Paul Phillips:

Kerry; "Mon Dieu, what a beautiful butt!"

Kerry: I won three Purple H... (Below threshold)

Kerry: I won three Purple Hearts, spent Christmas in Cambodia and I have to listen to his nonsense. DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!

Kerry thinking: How can peo... (Below threshold)

Kerry thinking: How can people NOT see that bump on the back of George's jacket! If Carl Rove didn’t have that transmitter to tell George what to say I would be president!

Bush: I remember when I was... (Below threshold)

Bush: I remember when I was this tall and still believed in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, but then, unlike John Kerry, I grew up. I live in the real world.

Bush explains to members of... (Below threshold)

Bush explains to members of the audience how to dislodge the dinner roll from Ted Kennedy's throat by using the Heimlich Maneuver. Hey, someone was bound to say it sooner or later.

"You must be THIS tall to r... (Below threshold)

"You must be THIS tall to ride..."

Bush: "...and so Laura and... (Below threshold)
Salt Lick:

Bush: "...and so Laura and I talked about it, and I thought I'd surprise Senator Kerry, because no one would be a better bunny for the White House Easter egg roll, absolutely no one."

I'm serious! I have it on ... (Below threshold)

I'm serious! I have it on very good authority that Sen. Kerry DID serve in Vietnam! Ask him yourself!

What's he still doing here?... (Below threshold)

What's he still doing here? When I say take the trash out, I mean take it out of the building and throw it away.

W - "I think there were som... (Below threshold)

W - "I think there were some differences, there's no question, and will still be."

JFK2 - "Still Mr. Articulacy. Beats me."

On the one hand we killed a... (Below threshold)

On the one hand we killed all those nasty attack ads. But over you here you've got all those blogger people. We're gonna take care of them next.

I've got time for one more ... (Below threshold)

I've got time for one more question. Where's that Gannon fellow who asks the easy ones?

Bush: And now to demonstra... (Below threshold)

Bush: And now to demonstrate the power of my electoral mandate. Hey horse-face, come kiss my ass.

I am fully confident that I... (Below threshold)

I am fully confident that I shall overcome the difficulties of this Chinese finger prison before my introduction to speak.

“Someone call the Secret Se... (Below threshold)

“Someone call the Secret Service. We have an intruder in here”

Kerry: "I coulda been a con... (Below threshold)

Kerry: "I coulda been a contender"

God, wish I'd voted for it ... (Below threshold)

God, wish I'd voted for it after I voted for it.....

How does he do that without... (Below threshold)

How does he do that without wearing a lucky hat ?

"Yup, that's my horse shoe ... (Below threshold)

"Yup, that's my horse shoe throwing action -- 'n no I don't know anything about wind surfing, skiing and wearing tight bicycle shorts.......

No matter how hard John squ... (Below threshold)

No matter how hard John squeezed the trigger, the bomb refused to detonate. This was the worst suicide bombing ever.

Bush:"Okay I see t... (Below threshold)


"Okay I see that there are a lot of Democrats here today, so I'll explain my points extra slow, so ya know, they can keep up."

Bush:Sports is allot... (Below threshold)

Sports is allot like Polatics: it's tough , dirty , competative and their are always winners and losers. The odds can always be overcome, the Red Sox won the series this year, the Patriots repeated as Super Bowl Champs and John Kerry rode a popular wave to defeat an incumbant wartime president... Ha, well 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

JFK2 thought bubble: "I can... (Below threshold)

JFK2 thought bubble: "I can't believe the guy who asked, 'Wanna buy some wood?' could beat me."

GWB thought bubble: "What's all that giggling and sobbing goin' on back there?"

"...and under my new system... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"...and under my new system of taxation each state only gets so much BIG to go around, and as you can see from my diminutive friend, Massachusetts' has been mostly used up by it's senior senator."

I donno, he came by with th... (Below threshold)

I donno, he came by with the French Ambassador about a week ago, but he never left. He just sits there in front of that picture with that stupid smile on his face. We don't know if he's playing with his dick, or he thinks he's George Fucking Washington.

""Those are my principles. ... (Below threshold)

""Those are my principles. If you don't like them, you had your chance to elect Schnoodle over there."

BUSH: "First Afghanistan an... (Below threshold)

BUSH: "First Afghanistan and Libiya, now Iraq and Lebbanon, Syria and Iran are next!"

Kerry: (Though bubble) "Damn! He is my daddy!"

Bush: ....and so he ... (Below threshold)

Bush: ....and so he says, "That's not Karl...that's Teresa!"

Kerry: Every time there's a crowd, he just HAS to tell that story...

Bush: "After my speech, yo... (Below threshold)

Bush: "After my speech, you are invited to stay for dinner. I'll provide the cheese. Senator Kerry will provide the whine."

Bush: "In conclusion, in or... (Below threshold)

Bush: "In conclusion, in order to be a great leader, always keep losers behind you. Isn't that right, Senator Kerry?"

Bush: Great Patriot<p... (Below threshold)

Bush: Great Patriot

Kerry: Patriot's Fan

Bush: "All the kings horses... (Below threshold)

Bush: "All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put the Kerry campaign together again.."

That ass reminds me of the ... (Below threshold)

That ass reminds me of the one I shot off of that unarmed kid in 'Nam...

How many horse faces are in... (Below threshold)
Brian T.:

How many horse faces are in that painting, anyway?

See, I can turn my back to ... (Below threshold)
jack rudd:

See, I can turn my back to my opponents with no fear whatsoever. If I croak, they'll get Cheney!

Bush; You are eithe... (Below threshold)

Bush; You are either with me or against me. Those that go against me will be made to look small and relegated to the ash heap of history

President Bush: We're here... (Below threshold)

President Bush: We're here today to honor a man who knew baseball is played on a diamond, not a runway.


Rarely seen Sen. John Kerry, in town to pick up his check, stopped by the Capitol to hear a tribute to an actual sports hero. Sen. Kerry served with distinction in the Revolutionary War, as shown in the picture behind him; he is on the far left, in the lucky hat.

Bush: "See that idiot behin... (Below threshold)

Bush: "See that idiot behind me? He just asked for 10 billion to fix the the Big Dig. I told him okay, if he signs that 180. He's thinking about it."

The incredible shrinking ex... (Below threshold)
D, Carter:

The incredible shrinking ex-presidential candidate.

...and let us all join our ... (Below threshold)

...and let us all join our voices in song. NAH NAH NAH NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH, HEY HEY HEY GOOOODBYYYEEE!

If I only had a brain.... (Below threshold)

If I only had a brain.

Senator Kerry gets his reve... (Below threshold)
D. Carter:

Senator Kerry gets his revenge by making fart noises with his hands midway through the President's speech.

John: "You know, for for an... (Below threshold)

John: "You know, for for an evil, stupid, dumbass, monkey-faced, rightwing, Hitler-loving, misogynistic, homophobic, environment-plundering, oil-sucking, ventriloquist dummy enemy of freedom Republican, he does have a nice ass!

In an ironic twist of fate.... (Below threshold)

In an ironic twist of fate. As GWB discussed the merits of the No Child Left Behind program, a Senator was actually left behind.

GW: "I'd like to welcome yo... (Below threshold)
Charles Versteege:

GW: "I'd like to welcome you'll to this retirement dinner for the Junior Senator from Massachusetts. None of us expected the storm of controversary that Senator Kerry created declining to sign military discharge form 180. But it is his decision and tonight we bid him farewell for a lifetime of public service. Heh, Heh, heh.........."

Kerry: Man oh Man, it just ... (Below threshold)

Kerry: Man oh Man, it just deeper and deeper in here and I have to clean up the mess when this event is finished

When toilet seats are flip-... (Below threshold)

When toilet seats are flip-flopped up, bushes always sit on johns.

Suck up caption of the day:... (Below threshold)

Suck up caption of the day:

Kerry thought bubble: Damnit, if Kevin and Jay hadn't typed out all that tripe about my Vietnam service, those damn Rather documents, and Teresa, I could have been standing there instead of McBushitler.

Bush thought bubble: ... and in conclusion, I stand before you as President of the US.

Kerry thought bubble: “Damn... (Below threshold)

Kerry thought bubble: “Damn, I wish he would hurry up and stop talking, I am about to piss my pants”

Kerry: I mountain bike or w... (Below threshold)
Chris W:

Kerry: I mountain bike or windsurf or snowboard everyday, and i still can't get an ass like that.

"Sorry folks. I've just poo... (Below threshold)

"Sorry folks. I've just pooped a Kerry."

Ya see, if looks could kill... (Below threshold)

Ya see, if looks could kill, I'd be bleedin' to death right now. It won't work, Lurch, cuz I've got "truth to power".

"And then Kerry tried to cl... (Below threshold)

"And then Kerry tried to claim he was at Valley Forge reviewing General Washington's troops on Christmas Day, an event seared---seared---into his memory..."

President Bush: “How about ... (Below threshold)

President Bush: “How about a round of applause for Senator Kerry?”

The room is suddenly so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Then the boos and catcalls start bouncing off the walls and ceilings

Thought bubble for Bush: - ... (Below threshold)

Thought bubble for Bush: - OK, I have to wait till the right moment to drop my hand, so the red paint will hit Kerry in the head right at the high point of my speech. Man oh man I hope he doesn't have mental powers like that Carrie girl, but then again, you have to have a brain to have those powers, don't you?

Kerry : Le Président Bush e... (Below threshold)

Kerry : Le Président Bush est genre de mignon. je me demande s'il est riche ?

Kerry thought bubble: "That... (Below threshold)

Kerry thought bubble: "That's why I voted against it before I voted for it. That's why I voted against it before I voted for it. That's why I voted for it before I voted a-gh! I'm such a STUPID IDIOT! Okay once again. That's why I voted against it before I voted for it. That's why I voted against it before I voted for it. 've GOT to get this right before 2008. That's why I voted against it before I voted for it. That's why I voted against it before I voted for it."

Some men were born to stand... (Below threshold)

Some men were born to stand up and lead, and other men were born to sit and hold their dicks.

PG version - Some me... (Below threshold)

PG version -
Some men were born to stand up and lead, and other men were born to sit with their hands in their lap and follow.

Kerry thought bubble: “Geez... (Below threshold)

Kerry thought bubble: “Geez I wish that everyone like me as well as Jackie Robinson, that way I would be standing there instead of that ____ idiot.”

Kerry thought bubble: "Well... (Below threshold)

Kerry thought bubble: "Well running as JFK didn't work. Maybe I should change my name to George William Berry for 2008."

John Kerry ponders the ulti... (Below threshold)

John Kerry ponders the ultimate flip flop, becoming a Republican to run in 2008.

Kerry thought bubble: "Damn... (Below threshold)

Kerry thought bubble: "Damnit I still can't believe it. We threw everything we could at this guy, spent the most money in history, used every dirty trick we could think of at this idiot and here I am stuck in this damn uncomfortable seat looking at his ass!"

1989: George Bush beats eli... (Below threshold)

1989: George Bush beats elitist Massachusetts liberal in run to White House.

2004: George Bush beats elitist Massachusetts liberal in run to White House.

"Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

Continuing his unbroken str... (Below threshold)

Continuing his unbroken streak of annually getting a non-controversial resolution approved by Congress, Sen. John Kerry (D-Catsup) basks in his Mittyesque reverie.


Sen. Kerry acknowleged a cornerstone of his 2008 plans would focus on bulking his legislative credentials by authoring resolutions saluting distinguished Americans he imagined he had played sports with this past fall. Jackie Robinson was first, to be followed by Sammy Baugh for football, Greg LeMond for biking, L.L. Bean for hunting, Mia Hamm for soccer, and the cast of The Endless Summer for windsurfing.

Bush forgets to hold the 'L... (Below threshold)

Bush forgets to hold the 'L' up to his forehead.

Only some men rise above th... (Below threshold)

Only some men rise above their stature.

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.






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