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Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™***. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

S President George Bush looks on as French President Jacques Chirac kisses the hand of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and former US President Bill Clinton looks the other way, second from top right, after the funeral mass for Pope John Paul II in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican, Friday, April 8, 2005. Sitting looking at Chirac kissing Rice's hand is First Lady Laura Bush. At bottom left, is King Juan Carlos of Spain and Queen Sofia with black hat; at top left, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan. In background behind President Bush, Palestinian Qureia, widely known as Abu Ala (AP Photo/Andrew Medichini)

Winners will be announced Sunday evening.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

*** - Upon further reflection I've decided that the OJ picture was a poor choice. I should have known better than to try an pick the WCC image on Thursday evening. Sorry to the seven people who entered a caption for the old photo before I made the switch. It will be a much better contest with the current picture...


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Weekend Caption Contest™:

» Conservative Life - General Politics linked with Conservative Life Caption Contest #24

» No Oil for Pacifists linked with Photo of the Week

» Left & Right linked with 5th Place!

Comments (98)

Bush: Tell you what, Jack,... (Below threshold)

Bush: Tell you what, Jack, after you're done there, I've got a couple ass-cheeks that you should kiss.

Ah brown sugar how come you... (Below threshold)
tom west:

Ah brown sugar how come you taste so good

Never bite the hand that fe... (Below threshold)

Never bite the hand that feeds you.

Check your fingers Condi, m... (Below threshold)

Check your fingers Condi, make sure your rings are still there.

1) Chirac: What is thy bidd... (Below threshold)

1) Chirac: What is thy bidding my master...
Rice: You can kiss my hand for starters, then my ass

2) (Rice thought bubble) Will someone from the Secret Service get me an antiseptic - Chirac kissed my hand and god only knows where else he kissed when he met with Saddam.

3) (Chirac thought bubble) If I kiss her hand this way, she might decide to let France off easy this time for double crossing the US yet again...

4) (Rice thought bubble) No way I'm letting this sweet-talking windbag off for messing with Dubya. He wont see my other hand coming as I bitchslap him silly.

5) (Dubya thought bubble) zzzzzz. Oh, Ricey, will you please bitchslap Chirac for me when you get a chance.

6) Woman smiling in back (thought bubble) I know what you're thinking. I knew that picture was being taken, but I don't care. I'm not wearing any underwear.

Heh. Wait till he finds out... (Below threshold)

Heh. Wait till he finds out where my hand has been...

GWB: I must not squeeze Con... (Below threshold)
Rob Read:

GWB: I must not squeeze Condi's Arse,
I must not squeeze Condi's Arse,
I must not squeeze Condi's Arse.

(Rice thought bubble) Yuk.... (Below threshold)

(Rice thought bubble) Yuk. Never thought I'd meet Pepe Le Pew in Rome. Gotta wash this hand fast.

Bush: "Heh. If it were me ... (Below threshold)

Bush: "Heh. If it were me it'd be my ass."


By the way, who is standing next to Bush - is that Donald Rumsfeld in drag?

Bush--"I've got my hand on ... (Below threshold)

Bush--"I've got my hand on my wallet.I'm not letting that weasel Chirac distract us while Koffi picks our pocket again!"

"We call it 'Freedom Kiss' ... (Below threshold)

"We call it 'Freedom Kiss' now, Jacques, and there's still no way in Hell I'll give you one. Now shut up and kiss my ring."

Dubya: Gosh, How am I gonna... (Below threshold)

Dubya: Gosh, How am I gonna explain THIS to the cleaners??

In his haste to heal relati... (Below threshold)

In his haste to heal relations with the United States, Jacqcue Chirac kisses the wrong boby part.

Must ... feed ... must ... ... (Below threshold)

Must ... feed ... must ... feed ...

Thank you Jacques, and as s... (Below threshold)

Thank you Jacques, and as soon I can trust you enough to turn my back, you may kiss me where it counts.

Is that Kofi behind Bush?</... (Below threshold)

Is that Kofi behind Bush?

If so, the caption has to be:

"Me next, me next, remember all of those oil-for-food francs I got for you and your party?" says Kofi

Not a caption, but I'm lovi... (Below threshold)

Not a caption, but I'm lovin' that smirk on GW's face. I'm sure it translates, "Lying a--hole."

Bush thought bubble: " ... (Below threshold)

Bush thought bubble: " ."

Bush thought bubble: "Heh...and now, like in that Three Stooges episode I watched last night, Heh...she can grab his nose in her two fingers and...Heh Heh Heh...."

Bush thought bubble:<... (Below threshold)

Bush thought bubble:

"Wonder what conditioner she uses."

smiling lady in the back mi... (Below threshold)

smiling lady in the back middle with black hair thought bubble:

"Ohmygosh... so embarassing ... are they taking *my* picture yet again?"

Chirac: "Please. Please le... (Below threshold)
Steven L.:

Chirac: "Please. Please let go; you are hurting me."

Condi: "I learned this from Rummy -- 'Eagle Claw Death Grip' -- Who's your momma? WHO'S YOUR MOMMA, B*TCH?!"

Chirac: [whimpers]

Condi: "Wait'll weas... (Below threshold)

Condi: "Wait'll weasel-boy finds out I'm going to be elected the next Pope."

Thought bubble of Clergy... (Below threshold)

Thought bubble of Clergyman in front with glasses: "There is a great disturbance in the Force, as though the avatars of good and evil have come together very nearby..."

Bush thought bubble:... (Below threshold)

Bush thought bubble: "I will not look down Condi's blouse. I will not look down Condi's blouse. I -- oh, $#!t, I looked down Condi's blouse."

"Mmm, next please allow me ... (Below threshold)
Governor Breck:

"Mmm, next please allow me to kiss your elegant feet, Madame Secretary."

President Bush thought b... (Below threshold)

President Bush thought bubble:


"Ah mademoiselle, I weel gi... (Below threshold)

"Ah mademoiselle, I weel gift you with a pearl necklace from the French peeeple."

Meanwhile, Kofi Annan conte... (Below threshold)

Meanwhile, Kofi Annan contemplates biting President Bush's neck...

Just warming up for Kofi...... (Below threshold)

Just warming up for Kofi...

An awkward kiss from Jacque... (Below threshold)

An awkward kiss from Jacques Chirac was made even more so when he realized he was standing next to Donald Rumsfeld dressed in drag.

Hey, JOCK! Pull my FINGER!... (Below threshold)

Hey, JOCK! Pull my FINGER!

1) Chirac, doubled over fro... (Below threshold)

1) Chirac, doubled over from the groin kick, struggles to dislodge Condi's right hook from his teeth.

2) Bush thought bubble: "Hope the cameras don't catch what Laura's doing kneeling down behind me. Damn, Condi's boots look really hor on her..."

3) Kofi thought bubble: "Damn that Frenchman. I wanted a shot at her."

Condi: Quit tickling my knu... (Below threshold)

Condi: Quit tickling my knuckles with your tongue, Jacques.

While Kofi Annan looks appr... (Below threshold)

While Kofi Annan looks approvingly on at what could be his portion of the take, Jacques Chirac's slick effort to lift Condi's watch is cut short as President Bush sends a text message of "Help, Thief" to the Secret Service.

Travel cost of funeral ento... (Below threshold)

Travel cost of funeral entourage - $27,000

Security during stay in Rome - $183,000

Having 4 billion people see Jaques Chirac grovel now that there's a new sheriff in town - Priceless

"WormTongue, meet Saruman"<... (Below threshold)

"WormTongue, meet Saruman"

Chirac bows to better man.<... (Below threshold)

Chirac bows to better man.

Foreign policy insiders say... (Below threshold)

Foreign policy insiders say there is growing evidence of a change in Franco-American relations.

Condi: "Careful there Jacqu... (Below threshold)

Condi: "Careful there Jacques, don't bite the hand that feeds you...?

Even with her arm fullly ex... (Below threshold)

Even with her arm fullly extended the odor from Chirac was overwhelming. Condi and George both shared the same the same thought, "if these frog bastards were half as refined as they seem to think they would have discovered soap by now".

Condi (thought bubble) - "I... (Below threshold)

Condi (thought bubble) - "If I were still at the NSC, there'd be nose cartilege flying into his froggy brain."

This isn't a caption but ..... (Below threshold)

This isn't a caption but ...

doesn't that look like Rumsfeld in drag above Condi's hand?

"OK... OKAY! I accept your ... (Below threshold)
Jay Swash:

"OK... OKAY! I accept your unconditional surrender already... now would you please tell me which way the ladies' room is?!"

Yeah, in 2008 that is not t... (Below threshold)

Yeah, in 2008 that is not the only thing you will be kissing, bitch.

Ummm... Brown Sugar?... (Below threshold)

Ummm... Brown Sugar?

Sell China bombers and your... (Below threshold)

Sell China bombers and your lips will meet my fist again.

That Mr. President, is how ... (Below threshold)

That Mr. President, is how you give a stink palm.

I'm Rick James, BITCH!... (Below threshold)

I'm Rick James, BITCH!

Condi thought bubble:... (Below threshold)

Condi thought bubble:

DAMN! Now I'll have to have this hand amputated. Hey, if I get a robot hand, maybe I'll get a light-saber too, that would be cool!

Sentinel beat me to it.. bu... (Below threshold)

Sentinel beat me to it.. but anyways:

Condi thought bubble: "Enjoy the stinkpalm you French bastard."

"Ooooh, Chirac and K... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Ooooh, Chirac and Kofi, I've always loved a little whine with my sleaze."

"Smells like Texas"... (Below threshold)

"Smells like Texas"

"Talk to the hand, Frenchy,... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Talk to the hand, Frenchy, 'cuz the face ain't interested."


Jacques misunderstood what ... (Below threshold)

Jacques misunderstood what Condoleeza meant, when she said she liked to be licked around the ring.

While Bush looks despondent... (Below threshold)

While Bush looks despondent after forgetting to make reservations again, the take-charge Condi discretely slips the elderly maitre'D a sawbuck.

While pretending to kiss he... (Below threshold)

While pretending to kiss her hand, Jacques atempts to palm a slip of paper with his cell phone number into Condi’s clentched fist.

GWB thinks: "I feel someone... (Below threshold)

GWB thinks: "I feel someone trying to pick my pocket! Kofi was right behind me... naaah, he wouldn't do that, not at a funeral, would he..."

Thought bubble for Rumsf... (Below threshold)

Thought bubble for Rumsfeld: "I'm going to have to do the Eagle Claw Death Grip on all those people who say I'm in drag. ... Dammit, my pantyhose are riding up again."

Condi: "Come here, Igor. T... (Below threshold)

Condi: "Come here, Igor. The President needs his shoes shined."

Condi:"Pull my finger and ... (Below threshold)

Condi:"Pull my finger and I'll turn around and blow you a kiss."

As those in the know around... (Below threshold)

As those in the know around him burst into laughter, George Bush tries to maintain composure. He fooled yet another gullible world leader with his “Let me introduce ya to Oprah Winfrey” routine.

Condi (thought bubble) Than... (Below threshold)

Condi (thought bubble) Thank God Laura warned me he gives wet kisses. Yeeeeks.

Wedged tightly between Rums... (Below threshold)

Wedged tightly between Rumsfeld in drag and a pensive Bush checking if his shoes are on the right feet, the diminutive North Pole emissary to the Pope's funeral waits patiently to discuss the wonders of mayonaise with a real Frenchman.

Talk to the hand, THE SECRE... (Below threshold)
Grace Farmer:


As Condi lands a vicious le... (Below threshold)

As Condi lands a vicious left hook to Chirac's chin, Mr. Bush can't help but think, "Now slap his silly French ass again." And Kofi Annan, noticing the commotion thinks to himself, "I sure am glad I brought Glenn Close as my bodyguard!"

Oh, it's right-hook, my bad... (Below threshold)

Oh, it's right-hook, my bad.

Bush: "That's not where I w... (Below threshold)

Bush: "That's not where I would have him kiss"!

hee hee... his hairy palms ... (Below threshold)

hee hee... his hairy palms tickle!

Remembering the trauma of t... (Below threshold)

Remembering the trauma of the last Chirac kiss, Laura Bush shrinks between her husband, President George W. Bush and the aging Donalta Rumsfeldia as Chirac presses his luck with Secretary of State, Condi Rice. Rozanne Barr was also in attendance.

"Psst. Don't punch him in t... (Below threshold)

"Psst. Don't punch him in the teeth, Condi. There's a camera pointed right at us."

"Please, Ms. Rice, I implor... (Below threshold)

"Please, Ms. Rice, I implore you---don't let him seek regime change in Paris..."

"Mais oui, you are correct,... (Below threshold)

"Mais oui, you are correct, Dr Rice. It does appear to be a ganglion cyst."

Bush singing to himself:<br... (Below threshold)

Bush singing to himself:
"Got a black magic woman, got a black magic woman..."

The smiling woman thought b... (Below threshold)

The smiling woman thought bubble: “Why does that ugly American get a hand kiss from Jacques Chirac and all I get is a damned pocket rocket?”

Mon dieu! This smells a <i... (Below threshold)

Mon dieu! This smells a lot better than Yasser's shmeckle.

"Mmmm .... Tastes like chi... (Below threshold)
SSG Pooh:

"Mmmm .... Tastes like chicken...."

Slurp, slurp slurp.... (Below threshold)

Slurp, slurp slurp.

Condi shows she could teach... (Below threshold)

Condi shows she could teach Maplethorpe a thing or two about fisting an ass... while Bush regrets his decision to make both Rummy and Condi wear dresses as method of ensuring good behaivor...

Get up, Jacques. I was kidd... (Below threshold)

Get up, Jacques. I was kidding when I said there was a German behind you.

BUSH: Pssst... Condi. Count... (Below threshold)

BUSH: Pssst... Condi. Count your fingers when you get that hand back.

Chirac: "I better learn to ... (Below threshold)

Chirac: "I better learn to kiss her hand now, because when she is President I am going to be kissing her a$$ anyway"
Condi: "Note to self: When I'm President, remember to wear gloves when in France."

mmmm I just love chocolate ... (Below threshold)

mmmm I just love chocolate condi

Jaques distracts President ... (Below threshold)

Jaques distracts President Bush and Secretary Rice as Kofi Annan lifts the President's wallet.

condi: dubya is he gonna st... (Below threshold)

condi: dubya is he gonna start humping my leg?

Bush: if he doesn't let he... (Below threshold)

Bush: if he doesn't let her hand go in three seconds, there'll be another funeral to attend.

Headling: U.S.-France Relat... (Below threshold)

Headling: U.S.-France Relations Warming at Papal Funeral Mass
Chirac:((castrating Aunt Thomasina))

Condi: ((simpering frog))

Bush: ((I can't watch this))

Jaques Chirac kisses the ha... (Below threshold)

Jaques Chirac kisses the hand of our new Secretary of State, Condi Rice, being the gentleman he is but a kiss does not make for a stand up man


Bow down before me Surrende... (Below threshold)
Dave M:

Bow down before me Surrender Monkey!

In his latest Mr. Magoo mom... (Below threshold)

In his latest Mr. Magoo moment, Chirac kisses the hand of the new Pope.

Alright frenchie - I let yo... (Below threshold)

Alright frenchie - I let you get away with kissing my wife, but what did I tell you about kissing my Secretary of State last year ?

"Psst, dump the chimp, I ne... (Below threshold)

"Psst, dump the chimp, I need a new PM - one with big brass Balls!

Thinking quickly, Jacques C... (Below threshold)

Thinking quickly, Jacques Chirac does his best to make Condolezza Rice's right hook look like something other than what it is.

All went well until he snee... (Below threshold)

All went well until he sneezed.

"You know Jacques, this rem... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"You know Jacques, this reminds me of my last trip to the ranch in Crawford. The Veterinarian had me put this arm up that heifer, clear up to my arm pit."

Mmmmmm... Oil... of O-Lay... (Below threshold)

Mmmmmm... Oil... of O-Lay.

The French have always made... (Below threshold)

The French have always made important military contributions.

Mr. President:Sinc... (Below threshold)

Mr. President:

Since the Euroweenies have gotten DDT banned, I fear that I am going to have to use some of my sick time to recover from the case of frog cooties I am sure to get.

I will be back on the job as soon as medically possible.


Update: <a... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.






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