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New Wizbang Midweek contest -- favorite new oxymorons!

OK, it's Tuesday, so that means it might be time for a new non-caption contest. Or not.

This week, it is. And I'm looking for your best new oxymorons. We're all tired of "Military Intelligence," "Pretty Ugly," "Jumbo Shrimp," and "Permanent Guest Host." It's time for some new ones. Naturally, I'm going to toss out a few just to get the ball rolling:

Evangelical Jew
Microsoft Works
High-Speed Dial-up Connection
America On Line
Moderate Muslim

Get those entries in, and I'll announce the winners Thursday night. If I can. Presuming I don't get struck down sick again.


Comments (87)

Appellate brief... (Below threshold)

Appellate brief

Adult maleI... (Below threshold)

Adult male

I'll never be tired of that one!

I was the target of Jewish ... (Below threshold)

I was the target of Jewish procylitizing a while back, so there are "Evangelical" Jews. Not that I begrudge them the right to do so. In fact I found it refreshing that they were excited enough about their own religion to want to share it. If you don't think others would benefit from your religion, why are you in it?

Marijuana Initiative... (Below threshold)

Marijuana Initiative
Jumbo Shrimp

And I'd liike to point out ... (Below threshold)

And I'd liike to point out that I just made a complete fool out of myself by including an oxymoron that J. specifically said was old hat. Next time I ought to actuallyl read the piece before responding...

Friendly fire... (Below threshold)

Friendly fire

Bad sexEfficient Bur... (Below threshold)

Bad sex
Efficient Bureacracy (sp?)
corduroy suit

Near FutureMercy K... (Below threshold)

Near Future

Mercy Killing

Fried Ice Cream (I know, I know. I'm reaching)

Biggie Smalls

Hill Valley (Marty McFly's town in Back To The Future)

Cheap gas.... (Below threshold)

Cheap gas.

Airline Food.... (Below threshold)

Airline Food.

Please don't use the word "... (Below threshold)

Please don't use the word "Jew". Its a pejorative. "Evangelical Jew" hurts my ears as well as my Jewish soul.

Patriotic Democrat... (Below threshold)

Patriotic Democrat

Palestinian State... (Below threshold)

Palestinian State

Democratic leadership.... (Below threshold)

Democratic leadership.

Resident alien.

Black Russian.

Free love.

Social security.

United Nations.

And the always popular:... (Below threshold)

And the always popular:

Limited Nuclear (nucular) War.

Tolerant liberal (like Jose... (Below threshold)

Tolerant liberal (like Joser)

Windows upgrade... (Below threshold)

Windows upgrade

Conservative Democrat... (Below threshold)

Conservative Democrat

Fake, but accurate

New Pope.... (Below threshold)

New Pope.

Anti-war troop-supporter</p... (Below threshold)

Anti-war troop-supporter

Legally drunk.... (Below threshold)

Legally drunk.

Sanitary sewer... (Below threshold)

Sanitary sewer

Motion Picture.... (Below threshold)

Motion Picture.

My all-time favorite:... (Below threshold)

My all-time favorite:

Common-Sense Gun Control

~For those in Washington St... (Below threshold)

~For those in Washington State: Fair Elections
~reformed hippie
~former terrorist
~liberal academic

Standard deviation... (Below threshold)

Standard deviation

Microsoft Innovation... (Below threshold)
Red Five:

Microsoft Innovation
Sexy Volvo
Sophomore (literally, wise moron)
Stable Market

Shy Blogger!... (Below threshold)

Shy Blogger!

Unholy sacrament (spelling ... (Below threshold)

Unholy sacrament (spelling does not count, right?)
Unbiased journalist
Honest liar
Responsible Democrat
Colorful albino
Religious atheist
Jewish pope

I know I'm going to hell for that last one...

Technical Support</p... (Below threshold)

Technical Support

Tough titty (redneckism)<br... (Below threshold)

Tough titty (redneckism)
holy sh*t!
paper plate
non-alcoholic beer
esteemed colleague
good grief!
honest politician

Cheerleading Scholarship!</... (Below threshold)

Cheerleading Scholarship!

Non-lethal weaponH... (Below threshold)

Non-lethal weapon

Honest lawyer

Honest politician (?!?)

Simple solution

Happily Married!... (Below threshold)

Happily Married!

temporary taxact nat... (Below threshold)

temporary tax
act naturally
stand down
Scottish cuisine
vegetarian meatloaf
fresh cheese
crash landing
second best
sports sedan
rap music

Pygmy Mastodon - Actually a... (Below threshold)

Pygmy Mastodon - Actually a real thing - 'Mastodonis Minimus'. A result of Island pygmyization.

The People's Republic of Ch... (Below threshold)

The People's Republic of China

Liberal ThinktankUN ... (Below threshold)

Liberal Thinktank
UN Resolution
Fake but accurate
Liberal journalist

Anarchist Leader... (Below threshold)

Anarchist Leader

Erectile Disfunction!... (Below threshold)

Erectile Disfunction!

Liberal Minded!... (Below threshold)

Liberal Minded!

Democratic Underground<br /... (Below threshold)

Democratic Underground

Found this in an AP article... (Below threshold)

Found this in an AP article:

centrist Democratic think tank.

Silent Women!... (Below threshold)

Silent Women!

New and improved!... (Below threshold)

New and improved!

Civil Servant... (Below threshold)

Civil Servant

Act Natural!... (Below threshold)

Act Natural!

Dress Pants!... (Below threshold)

Dress Pants!

Occupied Space!... (Below threshold)

Occupied Space!

Safety Hazard... (Below threshold)

Safety Hazard

Well-known Secret... (Below threshold)

Well-known Secret

Reality-Based Liberal... (Below threshold)

Reality-Based Liberal

dry welldry ice<br /... (Below threshold)

dry well
dry ice
new moon
organ donor
tax credit
open water
general target
black light

No one's come up with "Pres... (Below threshold)

No one's come up with "President Clinton" yet?

Conservative Intellectual <... (Below threshold)

Conservative Intellectual

although jumbo shrimp should win.

Any bill of law with the wo... (Below threshold)
Cousin Dave:

Any bill of law with the word "Fairness" in its title.

I'm surprised that after 57... (Below threshold)

I'm surprised that after 57 posts, no one has dropped "journalistic ethics."

So, my contributions:

1) journalistic ethics
2) undisputed boxing champion
3) Central Intelligence Agency

Ahh Bruce,How coul... (Below threshold)

Ahh Bruce,

How could we have missed that?

Definitely should be an award winner.

Rap musicracial dive... (Below threshold)

Rap music
racial diversity
over-worked government employee
campus free-speech
practicing Catholic
rational female
cuban healthcare

Wizbang blog.Sorry... (Below threshold)

Wizbang blog.


College Education... (Below threshold)

College Education

Liberal Idealism... (Below threshold)

Liberal Idealism

Brilliant Kos Post... (Below threshold)

Brilliant Kos Post

Diet Soda... (Below threshold)

Diet Soda

Civil attorney."Ma... (Below threshold)

Civil attorney.

"Main" stream media. (Leftist whores!)

Medical practice. (Drs. think they're God BUT they're the only professionals to still be practicing.)

Citizen journalists (What MSNBC is calling people who e-mail them!)

"United" Nations.

Senate Majority Leader Bill... (Below threshold)

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist

Intelligent Liberal... (Below threshold)

Intelligent Liberal

Racist ChristianMora... (Below threshold)

Racist Christian
Moral Majority
Poor Televangelist

"UN Peace Keeping"... (Below threshold)

"UN Peace Keeping"

Wage slaveSocial wor... (Below threshold)

Wage slave
Social work
Friendly game of poker

Brief Sermon... (Below threshold)

Brief Sermon

Backside.Avoid the... (Below threshold)


Avoid the plaque.

Hard water.

Free-market planning.

Free market (for that matter).

Pre-owned automobile<... (Below threshold)

Pre-owned automobile

Honorable John Kerry

Progressive IdeasSoc... (Below threshold)

Progressive Ideas
Socialist Utopia
Women's Studies

Ok, the winner:Polit... (Below threshold)

Ok, the winner:
Political Scientist

United Nations
Religion of Peace
Catholic Church

For Jeff Quinton:
North Carolina

Marxist Intellectual... (Below threshold)

Marxist Intellectual

holy shit.... (Below threshold)

holy shit.

Something in today's news:<... (Below threshold)

Something in today's news:

Intelligence Community

Presidential debate.... (Below threshold)

Presidential debate.

Liberal Thinking... (Below threshold)

Liberal Thinking

SilverBubble - Anyone who's... (Below threshold)

SilverBubble - Anyone who's read "The Fountainhead" knows that "religious atheist" isn't an oxymoron :-)

Feminist Discourse... (Below threshold)

Feminist Discourse

Congressional Ethics Commit... (Below threshold)

Congressional Ethics Committee
Public Sector Enterprise
Popular Documentary
Intellectual Honesty
Prosecutorial Discretion
Broadcast News
Truth in Advertising

There's this one meaning a ... (Below threshold)

There's this one meaning a midget psychic who escapes from the asylum; a small medium at large.

Jewish Conspiracy... (Below threshold)

Jewish Conspiracy

Look Jay Tea, it wasn't MY ... (Below threshold)

Look Jay Tea, it wasn't MY FAULT I was born BLOND...and it takes me six tries to get a good entry (so NO MORE SNIPES). Here goes (and yes, damn you, it's my last -- for this contest)

Continuing Phenomenon


OK I'm done.

So...we can pretty much wri... (Below threshold)

So...we can pretty much write off there ever being a winner announced to this contest?

"Liberal Idealism (April 19, 2005 04:50 PM)"






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