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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Based on the success of last weeks contest, and in honor of the opening of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (see The Carnival Of The Force), we'll go to the Star Wars well one last time. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Hugo Casachahua, dressed as Darth Vader, one of the main characters in the Star Wars saga, reads a newspaper while waiting for the premiere of 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith' in Lima, Peru Wednesday, May 18, 2005. (AP Photo/Karel Navarro)

Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced (follow the link to see who won). Comments are now closed.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™:

» WILLisms.com linked with Wednesday Caption Contest: Part 6.

» Aaron's cc: linked with Absolut Sith

» No Pundit Intended linked with You Didn't See This Coming?

Comments (112)

1) So, that's how you're su... (Below threshold)

1) So, that's how you're supposed to dehumanize a tyrant? Stick 'em in his undies and plaster his picture all over the pages of the tabloids? I will have to remember this when I need to extract information about the whereabouts of the secret rebel base.

2) Is that how I'm going to end up? Is that how the Emperor is going to end up?

you have failed me for the ... (Below threshold)

you have failed me for the last time bus driver, you will meet your destiny.

Hmmmm....This looks promisi... (Below threshold)

Hmmmm....This looks promising....Fun loving SWF looking for a tall, dark someone who knows how to dress for success...

Karl Rove demonstrates the ... (Below threshold)
Jack in TX:

Karl Rove demonstrates the Bush Administration attention level paid to Immigration law enforcement.

Hmmmm."Damn. Garf... (Below threshold)


"Damn. Garfield is getting lame...."

If only you knew the POWER ... (Below threshold)

If only you knew the POWER . . . of the Classifieds.

1) "Ben and J-Lo? NOOOOOO... (Below threshold)

2) Palpatine dissolved the Senate shortly after it reduced the Executive Transportation budget
3) Varth Dader wonders why nobody takes him seriously.


Given a choice, Limenaens w... (Below threshold)

Given a choice, Limenaens will choose a cute butt over an apocalyptic alien every time...

Ater the fall of the evil e... (Below threshold)

Ater the fall of the evil empire, Darth Vader attempts to "repurpose" and find a new job.

After honing his lightsaber... (Below threshold)

After honing his lightsaber skills for the last 28 years, Juan was once again rejected for the Supervillain role, this time in favor of Hayden Christensen. Struck with an epiphany, Juan scoured the help-wanted ads for for any sign that "Darth impersonators" would replace the eponymous Elvis wannabes as party fodder.

Reading the casting calls i... (Below threshold)
Dave Eaton:

Reading the casting calls in Variety, Darth recalls his drama coach's warnings about being typecast...

HHmmm.......I always suspec... (Below threshold)

HHmmm.......I always suspected that Gary Coleman was an Ewok.

What!? The National Enquire... (Below threshold)

What!? The National Enquirer will pay dearly for spreading these miserable lies about me and Padme.

I wonder if they airbrushed... (Below threshold)

I wonder if they airbrushed today's Page 3 girl? I mean, no one really looks like THAT.

This candid photo shows Kar... (Below threshold)

This candid photo shows Karl Rove on his lunch break.

This job has me written all... (Below threshold)

This job has me written all over it. 'Hands-off manager wanted who can still motivate subordinates'.

"I find your lack of a driv... (Below threshold)

"I find your lack of a driver's license disturbing."

Luke, I am not your father?... (Below threshold)

Luke, I am not your father?

where in the heck do I find... (Below threshold)

where in the heck do I find this "Force" they speak of...it's not in the classifieds...darn...

I've been thru the classifi... (Below threshold)

I've been thru the classifieds and still can't find that "Force" thing they talk about...

So, Luke has a sister!<br /... (Below threshold)

So, Luke has a sister!

"Hey, what's a guy gotta do... (Below threshold)

"Hey, what's a guy gotta do to get a little attention around here?"

"And they call me an illega... (Below threshold)

"And they call me an illegal alien!"

Darth, contemplating the ... (Below threshold)

Darth, contemplating the decline of recruits, looks with envy at the untapped reserve of dark side journalists.

1) Now witness the firepowe... (Below threshold)

1) Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational tabloid!

2) Join me, and together we will rule this bus stop as father and son!

George Steinbrenner contemp... (Below threshold)

George Steinbrenner contemplates his next move for the Yankees.

Karl Rove takes a time-out.... (Below threshold)
Tom Johnson:

Karl Rove takes a time-out.

Huh - runaway bride has a d... (Below threshold)

Huh - runaway bride has a dark side, eh? Who'da thunk?

This new suit with the buil... (Below threshold)

This new suit with the built in portable loo is jedi-riffic!

Muwahahaha! The power of t... (Below threshold)

Muwahahaha! The power of the Force allows me to discreetly stare at her dark side unlike these other insignificant creatures.

"I see PepsiCo needs a new ... (Below threshold)

"I see PepsiCo needs a new COO. I can get by with saying the U.S. is the lightsaber of the world..."

Darth Vader’s first trip to... (Below threshold)

Darth Vader’s first trip to Earth ended in humiliation and in police custody after totally misunderstanding the concept of public restrooms.

"There is a disturbance in ... (Below threshold)

"There is a disturbance in my subscription."

"Bad script?" "Flat and uni... (Below threshold)
Literally Retarded:

"Bad script?" "Flat and uninspired acting?" "Just plain dull?"

Gaaah... I hate critics.

"Hmmm... go see Star Wars o... (Below threshold)

"Hmmm... go see Star Wars or the Oakland Raiders' spring practice? I'm dressed for either one..."

Next on 60 Minutes: Who's u... (Below threshold)

Next on 60 Minutes: Who's using those services your tax dollars pay for? The Dark Side of public transportation.

Weary of the filibuster deb... (Below threshold)

Weary of the filibuster debate, Sen. Schumer hangs loose on K Street awaiting a quorum call.

"After losing his Death Sta... (Below threshold)

"After losing his Death Star post during the widespread military base closures, the Dark Lord of the Sith prepares to re-enter the civilian world."

The REAL downside of milita... (Below threshold)

The REAL downside of military base closings...

Hmmm, a casting call for th... (Below threshold)

Hmmm, a casting call for the next ST:TNG movie?

Maybe, just maybe I can make this work!

The Commander will pay dear... (Below threshold)

The Commander will pay dearly for his error of leading Darth Vader to Chewbacabra.

Darth Vader helmet: $200</p... (Below threshold)

Darth Vader helmet: $200

Darth Vader costume: $400

Attempting to use your Jedi mind trick on your boss, but STILL getting fired: priceless

Darth Vader nonchalantly wa... (Below threshold)

Darth Vader nonchalantly waits for the bus while inwardly imagining splitting his mechanic in twain. Unfortunately the mechanic is the only person in a 20 light year radius certified to repair his Death Star.

"Wow, the Evil Empire won 1... (Below threshold)

"Wow, the Evil Empire won 10 straight? Hey, we're right back in it!!"

Since the destruction of th... (Below threshold)

Since the destruction of the Death Star, Vader has been forced to get his rebel updates by other means.

"Was that Keanu Reeves & Sa... (Below threshold)

"Was that Keanu Reeves & Sandra Bullock on that bus that just went by? Damn, they should slow down."

"I find your lack of transp... (Below threshold)

"I find your lack of transportation ... disTURbing!"

Oh. Aplogies to Laurence So... (Below threshold)

Oh. Aplogies to Laurence Somin. Didn't read 'em afore I posted.

Let me try that again using... (Below threshold)

Let me try that again using my fingers: Apologies to Laurence Simon.
I should have felt a tremor in the Force.

Lord Vader forgets that to ... (Below threshold)

Lord Vader forgets that to really impress the girls, you need to put the light saber "inside" you pants.

Darth Vader finds a promisi... (Below threshold)

Darth Vader finds a promising position in the classifieds:

"Autocratic government seeks overbearing dark lord with creepy supernatural powers. Duties include maintaining discipline among troops and stealing air from defenseless, peaceful planets. Please send resume, references, and salary requirements to President Skroob."


"Hmmmmm, Saddam in his undi... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Hmmmmm, Saddam in his undies. You are the master, now, Murdoch."

"Dang it, how did Saddam ge... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Dang it, how did Saddam get his own 'Got Milk?' ad before me."

Even the Force can't help m... (Below threshold)

Even the Force can't help me understand Dondi

"Bail Organa won't see me h... (Below threshold)
Sue Dohnim:

"Bail Organa won't see me here in his old neighborhood if I can just act casual. I just hope that slimy Ackbar doesn't show up and alert him..."

Anakin's turn to the Dark S... (Below threshold)

Anakin's turn to the Dark Side was complete when he read that Newsweek had reported that Obi-Wan flushed Yoda down a toilet.

Sadly, the New Republic jus... (Below threshold)

Sadly, the New Republic just couldn't take care of skyrocketing unemployment the way the Empire did.

Finally, photographic proof... (Below threshold)

Finally, photographic proof of people outside the United States who have way too much time on their hands... :-)

[From Howard Dean - DNC pre... (Below threshold)

[From Howard Dean - DNC press release] "We've lost countless jobs under George W. Bush. He's even personally taken Darth Vader's job as the most evil man in the universe. Now he's forced poor Annakin Skywalker, who had a troubled childhood thanks to Republican social services funding cuts, to search the want-ads in vain. But with underfunded adult education programs, where will he turn?"

I am such a bitch for "Fami... (Below threshold)

I am such a bitch for "Family Circus."

"Sith Lord needed to manage... (Below threshold)

"Sith Lord needed to manage new station. Salary negotiable+benefits; must supply own TIE fighter."

Armed with his dark powers ... (Below threshold)

Armed with his dark powers and the comic book provided by the Supreme Chancellor Palpatine Darth was only doing a so-so job of fitting in as Americas most alien illegal alien.

The Star Wars series has ma... (Below threshold)
jim b:

The Star Wars series has made it so easy for former Nazi's to hide in South America. Everyone pays more attention to women, even those married with children.

"Britney, I want to father ... (Below threshold)

"Britney, I want to father your baby!"

1) I'm not entirely sure I ... (Below threshold)

1) I'm not entirely sure I believe this story about a lobster-headed alien commanding the rebel fleet....

2) Padme had *twins*!?!

Sweet! Howard Dean said ev... (Below threshold)

Sweet! Howard Dean said even I deserve to treated as "innocent until proven guilty." Damn, that Delay guy is getting screwed.

Why couldn't Donald Trump c... (Below threshold)

Why couldn't Donald Trump choose me as his apprentice instead of that Kendra bitch? That Palpatine guy just creeps me out.

Newspaper: 50 cents<... (Below threshold)

50 cents
Bitchin' outfit from Hollywood Goodwill:
25 bucks
Wearing new outfit during weekend of MinuteMan duty to scare the hell out of illegal aliens...


Nobody will guess that I'm ... (Below threshold)

Nobody will guess that I'm just another illegal alien...under this great disguise.

1) The slippery slope: Dart... (Below threshold)
D. Carter:

1) The slippery slope: Darth Vader was originally a follower of "The Far Side".

2) The Sendero Luminoso receives a shot in the arm, as the unemployed Darth Vader goes job hunting in Peru.

Hmmmm....horoscopes...horos... (Below threshold)

Hmmmm....horoscopes...horoscopes...ah, here they are. "Beware of those closest to you today, they may betray you." Bah! What a load of crap.

"I don't care what they say... (Below threshold)

"I don't care what they say about me in the papers, but damn it all, they could at least spell my name right!"

Vader: "Just look at that h... (Below threshold)

Vader: "Just look at that hot girl getting it on with that Stormtrooper! What's he got that I don't? What's a Dark Lord of the Sith gotta do to get action like that these days?"

"Well, $450 for a two bedro... (Below threshold)

"Well, $450 for a two bedroom *does* seem like a great deal, but mom's basement has a washer and dryer, and I get free dinners slid under my door."

Hmmm Candidate will have go... (Below threshold)

Hmmm Candidate will have good people skills, good communication, pleasant appearance, willing to work long hours and a desire to concur planets.....sounds perfect for me!

Newsweek has learned that A... (Below threshold)
D. Carter:

Newsweek has learned that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has fled to Peru, where he was almost captured by two mechanics, an aerobics instructor, and a local pro bowler.

Daschle?... (Below threshold)


As his second child Leia wa... (Below threshold)

As his second child Leia was taken away, he was seemingly unaware...who would know he was paid under the table...she would never get child support...from him anyway.

"Now that Episode III is hi... (Below threshold)

"Now that Episode III is history, I've REALLY gotta find me a job. Hmmmmm...that exotic dancer job looks pretty interesting..."

"Prince Valiant? Now that'... (Below threshold)

"Prince Valiant? Now that's a hair cut!"

"I told that Gary Sheffield... (Below threshold)

"I told that Gary Sheffield not to wear panties on his head in right field!"

Hmmm . . . Ah, yes . . .</p... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

Hmmm . . . Ah, yes . . .

"Help Wanted, Evil Genius"

"Hmmm... lets see 'Top Ten ... (Below threshold)

"Hmmm... lets see 'Top Ten Most Stolen Vehicles'. Camry, Accord, TIE Fighter... DOH!"

I just wanted to point out ... (Below threshold)

I just wanted to point out that regular readers of this blog never see the results of these caption contests, because you don't post them as updates.

"I find 'The Family Circus'... (Below threshold)

"I find 'The Family Circus'....disturbing."

While reading his favorite ... (Below threshold)

While reading his favorite tabloid, Darth Vader is shocked to learn who really is the father of Padme's children.

"Damn, I can't do anything ... (Below threshold)
Justin B:

"Damn, I can't do anything right!" Prince Harry dejectedly mumbles after the Royal Family throws him out of the annual costume ball for dressing as another evil dictator.

Dick Cheney spends a little... (Below threshold)

Dick Cheney spends a little quiet time before his secret tete-a-tete with the other Dark Lords of Halliburton.

"My God, how did they get t... (Below threshold)

"My God, how did they get their hands on photos of Palpatine in his underoos?!"

hmmmm...I wonder i... (Below threshold)


I wonder if those guys behind me are looking at the baby or her ass?

"Let's see...I'm in the nei... (Below threshold)

"Let's see...I'm in the neighborhood now, I need to check up on my buddies at Sith County Choppers..."

(with apologies to Laurence... (Below threshold)

(with apologies to Laurence Simon) "I find this paper's lack of 'Foxtrot' ... disturbing."

"Three bedrooms, two and a half baths, not pets. Includes hyperbaric chamber. ... Hmmmm, and the rent doesn't look half bad."

"Used space station, only blown up twice, must see to believe. Needs some work. Will entertain any serious offer. Something tells me I needn't bother with that one."

"Where can he be? I told hi... (Below threshold)

"Where can he be? I told him I'd be at the bus stop on the corner of Market Street and Sith Avenue ... D'OH!"

USA Today....Yes, it has po... (Below threshold)

USA Today....Yes, it has potential....

Must be the Group W ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Must be the Group W bench.

(/obscure reference)

What Darth Vader does betwe... (Below threshold)

What Darth Vader does between Sequels, now explained.

It was the best of times, i... (Below threshold)

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

As the box office rang up record profits, the lonely saga of unemployed Vaders continued to unfold.

Caption (2):"Los A... (Below threshold)

Caption (2):

"Los Angeles, May 20, 2005: the newly elected City Mayor photographed moments before he mumbled to Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'Talk to the hand, beeaatch!' and Governor Schwarzenegger grabbed his leather outfit. The Mayor is reportedly now resting comfortably in Long Beach after clinging to his helmet, while, elsewhere, the Governor enjoys a new-found support among California voters."

Map to stars homes - $25<br... (Below threshold)

Map to stars homes - $25
Bus fair to Alec Guiness' home - $5
Getting your A$$ kicked by an OLD MAN - priceless

entry 2

After his 50th birthday, not even Darth Vader was able to muster enough force to satisfy Padme. Sadder still, his attempts at "it WAS good for you" did not work either, and he was forced to leave.

Man, Darth Saddam has real... (Below threshold)

Man, Darth Saddam has really let himself go...

I knew my latest book "Geor... (Below threshold)

I knew my latest book "George Bush is really the Sith Lord" would get good reviews in the NY Times book review.

"Yoda Gives birth to Two He... (Below threshold)
spelling assassin:

"Yoda Gives birth to Two Headed babies"

Hmmmm, Martha is out of pri... (Below threshold)

Hmmmm, Martha is out of prison? I can just apply the force to that little ankle-bracelit and it is off to Tantooine for a little fun in the sand!

Hey, I never flushed... (Below threshold)

Hey, I never flushed Princess Leia's copy of the Koran down a Death Star toilet -- f***ing Newsweek ...

"Looks like it's time for a... (Below threshold)

"Looks like it's time for a recruiting trip to the UK, this Galloway kid is blowin' up."

If only LucasFilms went pub... (Below threshold)

If only LucasFilms went public, I'd neer have to wear thsi POS plastic suit again.

Darth Hits the Bottom:... (Below threshold)

Darth Hits the Bottom:

"Use the force", they said. "Own Hollywood", they said; and now I can't even scare small children.

"Get out!", she said, "or I'll use your light sabre for a circumcision you won't soon forget." Let's see now: "SWF loves pottery, art fairs, wearing matching shirts..."

"WTF? George Lucas is my... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"WTF? George Lucas is my father?"

"Ah, here's my ad:... (Below threshold)

"Ah, here's my ad:

'Tall, dark, widowed Sith Lord seeks romance with female cyborg. If you like asphyxiation or heavy breathing, then I'm the man/machine for you!"

CLASSIFIEDSWanted - ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Wanted - Interrogator, Abu-Ghraib prison, Iraq.
Must be familiar with non-physical means of persuasion.

"Hmmm... very decent of thi... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Hmmm... very decent of this place called New York to have these public restroom facilities. Though this one is just a little too public for me."

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced (follow the link to see who won). Comments are now closed.






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