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Vanilla Icehole

Last night, I finally got to see "Hit Me Baby One More Time." It was fun, solid entertainment for those of us who came of age in the 70's and 80's. And the performances were pretty good. I was especially impressed with the Knack, and Haddaway's cover of Britney Spears' "Toxic" convinced me that it was a decent song despite its prior association. The Motels and Tommy Tutone also did adequately.

In fact, the only real stinker of the night was (shudder) Vanilla Ice. I've never liked him, and last night only confirmed my earlier opinion.

In fact, he really stood out in another way. The others all performed original works, but he did "Ice Ice Baby," which has been justly lambasted for stealing the refrain from "Under Pressure," by Queen and David Bowie.

The second half of the show featured the artists doing covers of more recent hits by other artists. Here again, Vanilla Ice stunk up the place. They announced he was going to cover Destiny's Child's "Survivor."

Now, apart from the hormone-stirring video, it's a rather difficult song. The trio have/had a truly unique vocal style, with challenging rhythms and very flexible notes. Despite my loathing of the "artist," I was intrigued to see what he would do with the song.

What he did was take the title and general theme, and create a whole new piece (I can't call it a "song") to perform. Instead of presenting his own expression of a piece of music, he used it to generate a completely different work, with no resemblance to the original.

And the SOB ended up winning the competition.

I can only hope that the audience was filled with cynics and despoilers, who chose to vote for the suckiest performer just to put an ironic spin on the whole evening. Because if they actually thought he was the "best" performer of the five, I weep for the next generation.

(Shamelessly expanded from comments I made here.)

Comments (8)

I forgot about Toxic in the... (Below threshold)

I forgot about Toxic in the anti-glow of Vanilla Rice's "win." I actually like the original, and Haddaway took it and made it his own. I kind of thought he would win, though I knew it was a close race between everyone but Vanilla Ice, who "obviously" had no chance.

And a fargin' bastige, too.... (Below threshold)

And a fargin' bastige, too.

I'd have voted for The Knack. Oh, well.

The result was no surprise:... (Below threshold)

The result was no surprise: it was obvious that Vanilla Ice was going to win. Others performed their original more true to form, but Vanilla Ice actually went up there and performed to the audience.

I thought that either Tommy Tutone or The Motels did a more accurate-to-the-original version of their old hits; for their covers, the former didn't even know the name of the song they covered (Blink never had a song titled "Small Things"), and the latter tried to do an 80s version of their chosen song.

Ok, so maybe The Knack should have won ...

I was ashamed to find out t... (Below threshold)

I was ashamed to find out that he currently resides in the Dallas area. I thought we had better standards than that here. Thankfully, I don't hang out with plagarist gangsta wannabes, so it's unlikely we'll ever cross paths. On the other hand, he might be same ass I see popping wheelies on U.S. 75 on occasion. I'll be sure to give him a wave, minus a finger or four, for you if I ever do see him on the streets here.

You'll know these entertain... (Below threshold)

You'll know these entertainers have truly hit rock bottom when they end up here:


Umm, Stochy, the song is "A... (Below threshold)

Umm, Stochy, the song is "All the Small Things" and it was on the "Enema of the State" album, I'm pretty sure.

CTG: Yeah, I'm splitting ha... (Below threshold)

CTG: Yeah, I'm splitting hairs a bit, but when he said they were doing "Small Things" (not "All the Small Things) it just rubbed me wrong -- like they just picked some trendy song but didn't bother to learn it's real title.

Ok, I'm splitting hairs a lot.

Wow,I couldn't dis... (Below threshold)


I couldn't disagree more. I started out loving The Knack and Tommy Tutone and by the end of the night I wasn't suprised that Vanilla Ice won and further, compared to the rest of the performances, I thought he deserved it.

No one acknowledges that he's one of the pioneers of the rock/rap blend that's going on today.

I never liked the guy or his music, but the other night I think he was better than the rest.






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