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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Porn star and former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey poses for photos as she attends the annual President's Dinner in Washington Tuesday, June 14, 2005. The event was sponsored by the National Republican Senatorial Committee and the National Republican Congressional Committee. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced (follow the link to see the winning entries). Comments are now closed.

Comments (67)

"Ted Kennedy asked for me t... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Ted Kennedy asked for me to take a ride with him, but I had to turn him down 'cause the orange life vest was too ugly and uncomfortable."

Due to a mishap during her ... (Below threshold)

Due to a mishap during her last breast implant surgery, Ms. Carey's breasts are now filled with lead. To keep from falling over she has to constantly lean backwards at a 37.5 degree angle.

Mary Carey, the first woman... (Below threshold)

Mary Carey, the first woman to smash through the glass ceiling by lying flat on her back!


I'd do so much better as a Queen, since I'm really experienced at holding the scepter of power.

There's only one Dick in th... (Below threshold)

There's only one Dick in this town I won't touch, Durbin.

cool....a tie between me an... (Below threshold)

cool....a tie between me and Rodney Dill

Californias other deep thro... (Below threshold)

Californias other deep throat took time out to answer questions and size up the packages in the room...

Wunderkraut may have tied f... (Below threshold)

Wunderkraut may have tied for first, but DodgeMan already won.


Opponents hope that the rec... (Below threshold)

Opponents hope that the recent visit from a porn star to a Republican fund raiser is the party committing mari-kari.

If anyone's getting screwed... (Below threshold)

If anyone's getting screwed around here it's gonna be me!

"I wonder if anyone knows w... (Below threshold)

"I wonder if anyone knows who I am...."

Everyone is so friendly her... (Below threshold)

Everyone is so friendly here.
Ted Kennedy just asked me if I'd like a ride home, and everyone cheered!

OVAL Office? I thought you... (Below threshold)

OVAL Office? I thought you said ORAL...

For the low, low price of $... (Below threshold)

For the low, low price of $29.95 you too can have teeth and boobs just like these!. Order now while supplies last!

Dangling Chads? Trust me, ... (Below threshold)

Dangling Chads? Trust me, after I'm done, NOTHING is left dangling...

After the dinner, the Repub... (Below threshold)

After the dinner, the Republican Party raised an additional $100,000 at the Mary Carey "kissing booth".

"I like totally love Christ... (Below threshold)

"I like totally love Christmas"! Everyone keeps yelling "Ho, Ho, Ho"!

Why yes, there is a long li... (Below threshold)

Why yes, there is a long line of "Hemmings" in my family tree. Why do you ask?

So, I like Thomas Jefforson... (Below threshold)

So, I like Thomas Jefforson because that whole 'pursuit of happiness' is just like, so me.

Like the lobbyists who owne... (Below threshold)

Like the lobbyists who owned the politicians at the party, Mary Carey paid good money for her boobs.

Paramount Studios announced... (Below threshold)

Paramount Studios announced today that "Glitter 2" will skip theater and direct-to-video release in a first-ever direct-to-landfill release.

"I don't understand all the... (Below threshold)

"I don't understand all the hoopla over weapons of mass erection..."

"...and I painted this fing... (Below threshold)

"...and I painted this fingernail red because it's the one I use to.....nevermind"

Cinderella story enjoys a c... (Below threshold)

Cinderella story enjoys a contemporanus update

You might consider grandfat... (Below threshold)
noram retlaw:

You might consider grandfathering the captions posted on Caption This! under Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka (June 15th)

"Excuse me, Mister reporter... (Below threshold)
King Air:

"Excuse me, Mister reporter. Are you asking every person their favorite position 'on' this Mr. Iraq or is that only directed towards me? Beacause I fully intend to take my political career seriously and don't apprecaite those questions which reference my day job."

"Whaddya mean Clinton isn't... (Below threshold)

"Whaddya mean Clinton isn't President anymore? When did that happen? What am I supposed to do with all these Robustos?"

PORN CHICK LOVES BUSH AND D... (Below threshold)


Sure, Senator Sarbanes, I d... (Below threshold)

Sure, Senator Sarbanes, I do Greek all the time.

A comment on the comments -... (Below threshold)

A comment on the comments --- you guys are sick. You ARE terribly funny, though.


1. "Now that I've entered politics, there's something I'd really like to get off my chest."

2. "How can I get on "Hardball?'"

3. "I've always viewed politics as a tit-for-tat kind of thing."

4. "At the next GOP convention, we won't NEED any balloons!"

If Mark Felt is Deep Throat... (Below threshold)

If Mark Felt is Deep Throat, just think what I can do to Woody at the Times...

"I've been known to erect a... (Below threshold)

"I've been known to erect a political plank or two...."

Two things in this photo ha... (Below threshold)

Two things in this photo have had big stiff white men in their "rotunda."

Hmmm.She likes guy... (Below threshold)


She likes guys with a big "tent".

Hmmmm."Two things ... (Below threshold)


"Two things in this photo have had big stiff white men in their "rotunda.""

The winner! OMG that's funny!

Mary Carey? We drew straws.... (Below threshold)
Ann Onymouse:

Mary Carey? We drew straws. She pulled the short one and had to do the Republicans.

"I was told that they had p... (Below threshold)

"I was told that they had people ready to tackle me if I tried to, you know, get up close to him.

And they were worried about me maybe flashing or streaking through the dinner.

And I mean, I can't believe they'd think I would do that. I'm a serious politician."

Actual quote from--PORN STAR: Mary Carey on attending a GOP fundraising dinner which President Bush attended.

"Did they ever get a lock o... (Below threshold)

"Did they ever get a lock on the little room in the Oval Office?

Grand Old Party Girl... (Below threshold)

Grand Old Party Girl

Casting for "Search for Dee... (Below threshold)

Casting for "Search for Deep Throat"

I like Bush.... (Below threshold)

I like Bush.

They say that President Pol... (Below threshold)

They say that President Polk also enjoyed a good pun.

The Big Guns came out for a... (Below threshold)
Jonathan Love:

The Big Guns came out for a recent Republican Fundraiser.

i wanna fuck jenna and barb... (Below threshold)

i wanna fuck jenna and barbara...

The excitement of coming to... (Below threshold)

The excitement of coming to DC now long gone, Ms. Carey strains a smile upon accepting that after numerous attempts, these so-called G-Men would never find her spot.

Ms Carey spots the Vice Pre... (Below threshold)

Ms Carey spots the Vice President and...ummm..."Mr Happy and the Twins" from across the room.

"I'd heard the VP was packi... (Below threshold)

"I'd heard the VP was packin' but DAMN."

Oh. My. God. I have, like, ... (Below threshold)

Oh. My. God. I have, like, totally never been to New York before!

"Why, Vice President Cheney... (Below threshold)

"Why, Vice President Cheney! The top of your head really is as smooth as a baby's bottom."

Carey On Her Back To Old Vi... (Below threshold)

Carey On Her Back To Old Viginny.

That's "Virginny" dagnabbit... (Below threshold)

That's "Virginny" dagnabbit!

As it turned out, the annua... (Below threshold)

As it turned out, the annual President's Dinner had TWO entry fees.

Mary Carey: " I should be t... (Below threshold)

Mary Carey: " I should be the next RNC chairperson. I have a talent for raising cash . . . as well as other things."

"OK, I'm game . . . but the... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"OK, I'm game . . . but the Wizbang will cost you extra."

"My turn offs? Paris Hilton... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"My turn offs? Paris Hilton, 'cause I think she is just too slutty."

"No, but I do know how many... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"No, but I do know how many men went down on the Titanic.

"This is the most ... (Below threshold)

"This is the most important erection of my lifetime!"

Suddenly, getting screwed b... (Below threshold)

Suddenly, getting screwed by the political system doesn't seem all that bad.

Who's this bozo? I thought... (Below threshold)

Who's this bozo? I thought Clinton was still President. At least I could have talked "shop" with him.

...a little rebellion now a... (Below threshold)

...a little rebellion now and then is a good thing.

--Thomas Jefferson

Ahem, where's the mic ?... (Below threshold)

Ahem, where's the mic ?

"Don't be a boob. I have ot... (Below threshold)

"Don't be a boob. I have other attributes."

If Bolton gets voted down I... (Below threshold)

If Bolton gets voted down I say make her ambassador to the U.N.

I case of Chapaquitic these... (Below threshold)

I case of Chapaquitic these can be used as a flotation device

Where's that Dick Army I've... (Below threshold)

Where's that Dick Army I've heard about?

To celebrate Jefferson's st... (Below threshold)

To celebrate Jefferson's stint as ambassador to France, Gerard Depardieu attends in drag.


This is as wide as I can make it go, President Clinton.


Two big reasons to attend the President's Dinner.

No! no! I said "feel it, Bu... (Below threshold)

No! no! I said "feel it, Buster" not "filibuster."

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced (follow the link to see the winning entries). Comments are now closed.






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