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Hell hath no fury...

A woman I work with got a kitten a while ago. She took her time naming him, because she wanted to give him a name that really captured his personality. After a few of his antics (including once leaping from the bathroom sink, using her leg as a firepole, and leaving a six-inch scratch down her calf), she started calling him "Psycho Kitty." That evolved to "Mad Max," and finally she settled on "Max."

Then the same friend who had given her Max gave her a second kitten -- this one female. Again she took her time in naming her. I repeatedly urged her to call her "Minnie" (I thought it went well with "Max"), but eventually she settled on Chloe.

A while ago, Chloe apparently had a bit of an accident and piddled on herself in her car carrier. My colleague and her boyfriend had to give her a bath, and Chloe apparently didn't take it well. The boyfriend managed to avoid needing a doctor's care for his scratches, but it was a close thing.

Last weekend, I wrote about some friends' dogs. In the comments, "Yogimus" opined on the following:

You beat the shit out of a dog, and it will mope, and try to show you how sorry they are and try to get back in your good graces.

So much as look at a cat sideways, and it will plot your death for the next several weeks.

All I can say is, truer words were never spoken...


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Comments (28)

...I think that little kitt... (Below threshold)
mark m:

...I think that little kitty is past the plotting stage...he's ready to roll.

Oh,crap. Watch your back, ... (Below threshold)
Waffle King:

Oh,crap. Watch your back, folks.

Jay Tea:Have all c... (Below threshold)

Jay Tea:

Have all concerned parties made out their wills?


Oh no! Tag-teaming felines.... (Below threshold)

Oh no! Tag-teaming felines. Be afraid... very afraid. [cue eerie score]

And throwing a cat back and... (Below threshold)

And throwing a cat back and forth is...

I saw we take it to the kit... (Below threshold)

I saw we take it to the kitties! For a bit 'o fun, take a look at this: http://gprime.net/game.php/kittencannon

NEP....I'm not getting a... (Below threshold)

NEP....I'm not getting any work done. And it's all your fault!

I LOVE this game!!!!


First she got one cat, then... (Below threshold)

First she got one cat, then she got another cat, then she got another and...

Like I wrote earlier, it's not the cats, it's some humans' whatever-it-is projection upon cats that's peculiar. Mostly, it's about human obsessions, anthropromorphology.

I still think that that temperament quality that some notice about felines and make humour about is, actually, the true nature of felines objecting to being captured and contained. They aren't domesticated so much as they attach to food sources and protect them. Humans are those food sources for the tabby and thus, you get this whatever it is, mostly, about cats.

Jay Tea, you should let you... (Below threshold)

Jay Tea, you should let your buddy know that the whole game of chasing the laser pointer could very well make his dog more and more neurotic. The next thing they know, the dog will be chasing refracted window light, reflections, etc. It isn't very healthy for them.

Note that when times are ba... (Below threshold)
Dave H:

Note that when times are bad, a dog will stay and starve to death with you, but a cat will bail, until you're dead, then start snacking on you.

Yeah, just read the <a href... (Below threshold)

Yeah, just read the Get Fuzzy comic strip.

You can tell which is more devious -- the cat or dog.

Cats are evil. I love them... (Below threshold)

Cats are evil. I love them. My dog was very happy when we got the cat. She is no longer the omega in the family and she makes sure the cat understands that, even though the cat couldn't care less.

"We're gonna make Fried Kit... (Below threshold)

"We're gonna make Fried Kitten, we're gonna make Kitten A La King, and we're gonna make Sweet and Sour Kitten! YEAARGH!

Dave,If I'm dead I d... (Below threshold)

If I'm dead I don't care if my cat is eating me. I'm dead, I have other things to worry about. ;)

I'm glad to be a contributo... (Below threshold)

I'm glad to be a contributor to the "Totally Worthless" for you Oh.

I've got two Burmese kitten... (Below threshold)

I've got two Burmese kittens (pics in blog if interested). They're a very friendly but also unusually muscular breed.

My gf tried to give them a bath... once. Now we have an arrangement: they don't take baths, we don't go to the emergency room for stitches.

Every Cat owner knows YOU D... (Below threshold)

Every Cat owner knows YOU DO NOT GIVE CATS BATHS, unless they are declawed and that is at your own risk. They still have back claws.

And teeth. Never forget th... (Below threshold)

And teeth. Never forget that part.

As to the reason humans tend to love collecting us felines, well...


That poor cat-she has that ... (Below threshold)
Just Me:

That poor cat-she has that evil look in her eye, and somebody is going to get it.

We have a black cat officially named Darth Vader (I did not name him). When he was a kitten he threw up in my daughters room, and ever since he has been known as Barf Vader.

About eight months ago, a v... (Below threshold)

About eight months ago, a very large and aggressive unneutered tabby moved into our neighbourhood. Much fighting with my baby - sorry, my cat - ensued. I quickly found out that if I didn't clean my cat's wounds immediately, they'd become infected, which meant many prohibitively expensive trips to the vet. Sometimes, James (yes, my cat is called James) would come in so bloody and dirty that I would have to run a bath for him. Imagine my surprise when, on placing James in the bath, he sat down quietly and didn't struggle! He doesn't enjoy his baths, but he doesn't hate them, either, they're just a part of life now. And he looks wonderfully ridiculous when he's dripping wet.

(On a positive note, I found out today that I'm on excellent terms with the tabby's owners' landlady, so I'm going to see if she can have a Quiet Word.)

They aren't domesticated... (Below threshold)

They aren't domesticated so much as they attach to food sources and protect them. Humans are those food sources for the tabby and thus, you get this whatever it is, mostly, about cats.

With all due respect, -S-, you're full of shit. Cats are capable of very deep attachments to humans, especially if you raise them from kittenhood.

You beat the shit out of a dog, and it will mope, and try to show you how sorry they are and try to get back in your good graces.
So much as look at a cat sideways, and it will plot your death for the next several weeks.

And what are we to conclude from that about which one is more intelligent? If a dog goes in the garbage can and you yell at him, he stops going in the garbage can. If a cat goes in the garbage can and you yell at him, he waits until you leave, and then goes back in the garbage can.

I would rather have an intelligent, independent cat than a slobbering, slavish dog any day.

My brother (the one who "sa... (Below threshold)

My brother (the one who "saves" stray cats and whose knuckles drag on the ground) once saved a really pretty calico he named Little Bit (until it started tipping the scales at twelve pounds). Anyway, he had to bath it regularly at first because it was covered in green paint (don't ask). Right from the get-go, that goofy cat absolutely loved it. When he would come home from wherever, it would jump into the tub and sit right by the faucet until he turned it on and gave it a bath.

No, Craig, YOU are "full of... (Below threshold)

No, Craig, YOU are "full of shit" as a cat obsessed psycho with boxes of cat shi'ite in your "home."

I also see others with the very same psychology about which I earlier wrote showed up with ample substantiation that the problem is one of human psychology and not of feline psychology.

I AGREE that felines are 'capable of' affections but the nature of the affections are based upon the well established (and highly studied, documented) behaviors of felines in their determinations to protect and defend food sources. Just try taking a felled prey animal (including humans) from the jaws or even territory of a feline and see what happens. The only reason Tabby doesn't eat you for supper is because you're too large to be the food source, but you sure ARE the food source with all that consistent food you provide.

The point isn't here to demean felines (I have not and yet you protest, Craig, as if I had...which substantiates that you're bent out of reality by certain pscyhology that probably is also what your captive animals have to contend with, however, tolerantly) but to point out that feline behavior is consistent among all felines, large and small.

And, like all predators, felines pursue prey that they comprehend is catchable (no one wants to waste resources pursuing prey that is not possible to be caught and/or eaten, so it's a size and ability method for predators as to who and what their prey is)...

Quirks in human psychology can also truly and really believe a lot of things that aren't real, and among those is that house cats possess human qualities of one sort or another (they are "children," humans are cats, cats have some intimate 'feelings' for foodsources...which they do but not in the same sense that some humans project upon them).

The point here is human psychology and the later thread appearances (some of them) well exemplify that issue, unfortunately.

We can love captive animals -- I do, many others do -- but to project upon felines all these subhuman or even superhuman aspects is an issue of human psychology, not an issue of innate qualities in felines.

Felines are intelligent predators. Their entire lives consiste of what other predators lives consist of: predating upon potential prey, capturing prey, consuming prey and sharpening those skills in other available time when they themselves are not predated upon. Humans are considered prey animals to felines and the only reason Tabby isn't predating upon humans actually (because they do, representationally, but many humans misperceive those actions as "play" when, in fact, it's just a feline practicing prey behavior), the only reason Tabby isn't predating upon humans is that humans provide the prey result without the chase and kill involved...and thereby become the food source by that process.

Tabby "loves" humans because humans are a food source. Tabby 'defends' humans/food source because other felines want to take that food source away, and all the rest.

It's just feline behavior, nothing unusual about it. However, what IS unusual and is proven time and time again is a set of humans who project human qualities upon other species and capture/contain some other species (carried to it's worse extreme, capture/contain other humans) for their own sense of pleasure and enjoyment.

It's not normal behavior, however. I love other species of animals but I also respect them enough to recognize that they territories need to be protected to a great degree and a human contained living space isn't necessarily the best place for the wellbeing of many species. Felines also pose a gross health risk to humans which some humans don't recognize.

And, the only "shit" I ever see and smell is cutesy boxes of shi'ite in cat afficiondos' homes.

I realize this information is well over the wellness of Craig, and people like him/her. Which is what I wrote about originally and do here now.

A flame war over a wet cat.... (Below threshold)

A flame war over a wet cat. Unreal.

A flame war over a wet c... (Below threshold)
Anonymous Coward:

A flame war over a wet cat.

Wouldn't be the first pair of dudes exchanging angry words over a damp p*ssy...

/ sorry, had 2 be said

A flame war over a wet c... (Below threshold)
Anonymous Coward:

A flame war over a wet cat.

Wouldn't be the first pair of dudes to get hostile with each other over a wet p*ssy...

/ sorry, had 2 be said

Uh, Anonymous Coward?... (Below threshold)

Uh, Anonymous Coward?

-S- isn't a dude.

S, you're missing one thing... (Below threshold)

S, you're missing one thing - the appearance of affection when the cat's human companion (or feline, or canine, or whatever) is sick, injured, or upset. I have oftentimes observed cats quietly and unobtrusively curling up next to an upset person, purring away and just offering mild comfort. They do not do this with everyone, only with those they feel affection for. If the upset person is not considered a companion or a friend, the cat will ignore them.






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