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What happened to my frickin' death rays?

I have a deep and abiding loathing for "street spam" -- the ads stuck on telephone poles and roadsides. I've torn down and tossed my share over the years.

But this morning, while driving to work, I spotted a sign alongside the highway onramp that made be double-take. And then triple-take. To the point of nearly driving the Shaggin' Wagon into the curb.

In big black letters:


Damn, they're SERIOUS. I am so, SO glad I never quit smoking. (Correction -- never STARTED smoking. Gotta review these things before I hit post...)

But exactly how does it work? Do they zap you whenever you have a cigarette? Burn your fingertips so you can't light them? Burn your lips so you can't hold one?

The scariest part is that it was in Manchester, NH. I'd expect this kind of insanity in Massachusetts, but this is MY home town.

Comments (16)

the Shaggin' Wagon</... (Below threshold)

the Shaggin' Wagon

Of course, you meant to say the Road Beluga.

I've had lasers shot into my eye to seal little holes in the retina. Maybe they threaten to do that.

It is, most likely, a one... (Below threshold)

It is, most likely, a one-time deal - they blast your face once with the laser and then, voila!, no more mouth (or head, for zat matter) to hold zee filthee cigarette!

A laser cigarette lighter w... (Below threshold)

A laser cigarette lighter would use a lot more energy than lighting a cigarrete would justify.

But it would be way cool.

Actually, if that's the act... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Actually, if that's the actual headline on the flyer it makes it sound like the advanced laser therapy itself quit smoking. To which I say, good for you advanced laser therapy.

It's like acupuncture; they... (Below threshold)

It's like acupuncture; they zap the "energy points related to addiction."

Uh huh.


It's in Bedford:<a h... (Below threshold)
Maybe they just tell you th... (Below threshold)

Maybe they just tell you that this thing is aimed directly at your house. If you light up, you die.

There was an old Charles Ad... (Below threshold)

There was an old Charles Addams cartoon with a Patent Lawyer leaning out a window pointing a futuristic looking gun at a pedistrian on the street and saying, "Death Ray? Fiddlesticks!! Why it hardly even slows them up!"

well, if you never started,... (Below threshold)

well, if you never started, then I guess you *could* truthfully say that you never quit...

I remember this old episode of some show- I think it was a remake of the twilight zone or something, back in the mid nineties. Anyway, these people joined this "special club" where the club owners will take special measures to make sure you quit whatever bad habit it is you would like to be rid of. This one guy wanted to quit smoking, so they followed him around town and when they saw him light up in traffic one day, they kidnapped his wife and cut off her pinky finger in front of him. Then told him that next time it would be her whole hand. At least that's how I think I remember it.

Anyway- freaky weird show.

Jewels, I remember that sho... (Below threshold)

Jewels, I remember that show or one eerily similar.

With all the remake frenzy, why aren't we getting the Twilight Zone again? It was a great show.

Jewels & Donna.:I ... (Below threshold)

Jewels & Donna.:

I think you're talking about the movie "Cat's Eye" which was based on several short stories from Stephen King's "Night Shift", including "Quitters, Inc."

I see a fair few Indymedia ... (Below threshold)

I see a fair few Indymedia stickers around my area. I always carry a black marker in my handbag for the purpose of defacing those stickers.

Jay I am convinced that the... (Below threshold)
Just Me:

Jay I am convinced that the people who put up that sign moved here from Massachussette's after they ran out of smokers attempting to be ex smokers to bilk.

They thought they would now try their hand at the smokers in NH.

"... so do you think I've a... (Below threshold)
Steve M:

"... so do you think I've a good claim for medical negligence, Senator?"

Sorry - wrong thread - supp... (Below threshold)
Steve M:

Sorry - wrong thread - supposed to be the caption competition - Duhhhh! :(

This is the best thing that... (Below threshold)

This is the best thing that has happened for a smoker with a serious addiction. I would think you would be more supportive of helping people kick the habit, which is now the #1 killer amongst americans!






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