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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for this picture:

CNN American Morning anchor Miles O'Brien with an unidentified guest prior to the Space Shuttle launch

Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced (follow the link to read the winning entries). The contest is now closed.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™:

» The Right Place linked with 'Round the 'Sphere: July 29, 2005

Comments (110)

"Mine's bigger."... (Below threshold)

"Mine's bigger."

Why compare when we could s... (Below threshold)

Why compare when we could share?

"Yes we have upgraded the n... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Yes we have upgraded the names of our rocket fleet. Mine is now known as the 'PeeWee Herman' and the one you're holding is the 'John Holmes' rocket."

"And I know it'll fit since... (Below threshold)

"And I know it'll fit since it's smaller than my head."

Cape Canviral engineers fou... (Below threshold)

Cape Canviral engineers found themselves a bit embarrassed when the effects of the new Pfizer product "Nasagra" kicked in sooner than anticipated.

NASA official Dick H... (Below threshold)

NASA official Dick Hertz demonstrates some high-tech methods of getting off.

[Only so much you can do with the "penis joke" genre]

After NASA's Director cance... (Below threshold)

After NASA's Director cancelled the plans to have Paris Hilton do a series of commercials, they quickly discovered that her replacements just do not have the same impact.

"Yea, the bigger one has mo... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Yea, the bigger one has more thrust, but mine will run rings around Uranus."

No, no. You grip the shaft... (Below threshold)

No, no. You grip the shaft like this!

It's not the size of your r... (Below threshold)

It's not the size of your rocket! It's how fast you can get your "crew" into orbit!

"Damn, us euros must... (Below threshold)

"Damn, us euros must have used centimeters instead of inches again."

1. "Damn, yours is bigger t... (Below threshold)
Jabba the Tutt:

1. "Damn, yours is bigger than mine."

2. "Sure, the Swedish Penis Enlarger has its supporters, I prefer the Danish."

3. "Ah YES, it is Rocket Science!"

"..... and really shows tha... (Below threshold)

"..... and really shows that size doesn't matter in getting that payload delivered."

Hair styling is neat, I onl... (Below threshold)

Hair styling is neat, I only get to scratch my face with it.

"...and we believe that a '... (Below threshold)

"...and we believe that a 'safe space' program would do wonders for America's latex industry."

Whaddya say we try NASA's f... (Below threshold)

Whaddya say we try NASA's first mission to Uranus right now?

"Hey, the rockets we are ho... (Below threshold)

"Hey, the rockets we are holding are positioned in such a way that they look like our genitals."

Thanks, Miles, I'll pass it... (Below threshold)

Thanks, Miles, I'll pass it on.

But don't you think "We have liftoff of Space Shuttle Needledick" is a little too self-deprecating...even for you?

After submitting preliminar... (Below threshold)

After submitting preliminary doodles, representatives from the two competing companies, Wang Technologies and John Thomas Engineering Inc. got together to expose their models for public viewing. The winning proposal will be erected next year on NASA's third base, and is expected to go all the way.

Well, under Clinton we were... (Below threshold)

Well, under Clinton we were ordered to diversify away from these patriarchal phallo-centric designs, but the FlyingTit and SpacePussy prototypes didn't pan out. Only this phallic design has the thrust! thrust! thrust! to launch that payload into orbit.

Sometimes a rocket is just ... (Below threshold)

Sometimes a rocket is just a rocket. Unfortunately, this isn't one of those times...

Thanks to male enhancement ... (Below threshold)

Thanks to male enhancement drugs, Bob has a swelling of pride and well deserved jealousy from his freind!

"Eason tried to shove a thi... (Below threshold)

"Eason tried to shove a third one of these up Amanpour's ass, but she kept clenching and shouting 'OH, MY POOR YASSER!' over and over."

Yeah, but mine doesn't need... (Below threshold)

Yeah, but mine doesn't need strap-on thrusters.

Man in Red: This was hilla... (Below threshold)

Man in Red: This was hillary's dildo while in the Whitehouse...

Man in blue: Yes...and since having chuck schumer's head removed from her ass she's upgraded to this one....

After years of intense rese... (Below threshold)

After years of intense research to determine superior methods of maintaining propulsion and thrust, experts demonstrate that "Bang" (left) easily outperforms "wiz".

Imminent launch, imminent l... (Below threshold)

Imminent launch, imminent launch...ooh...aah...never mind.

Well, of course, yours is b... (Below threshold)
Hangtown Bob:

Well, of course, yours is bigger, but parts don't fall off MINE when I'm launching!

"OK, we can both reach with... (Below threshold)

"OK, we can both reach without bending over, so that only leaves one question; Spit or swallow?"

"The two women on the fligh... (Below threshold)

"The two women on the flight had proffered a vagina shaped rocket and we're beginning to agree with that concept. Either that, or we could put some Viagra in the fuel tank ... ha ha ha."

"Don't you ever get tired o... (Below threshold)

"Don't you ever get tired of all the women staring... all the time... God, I hate being treated like I'm just some piece of meat, just because I'm a rocket scientist!"

"I don't."

Pretty weak that you'd stea... (Below threshold)

Pretty weak that you'd steal this bit directly from The Daily Show.

Get hold of yourself Edward... (Below threshold)

Get hold of yourself Edwards! Like the government, we're here to help! A quick shot and a suppository and you'll be as good as new.

"...and John, we think we h... (Below threshold)

"...and John, we think we have finally found a way to get women excited about space exploration, working scale models of our...er...rockets."

It's been done. Daily show ... (Below threshold)

It's been done. Daily show had a segment with the clip, complete with Enzyte innuendo...

If your foam breaks anytime... (Below threshold)

If your foam breaks anytime during the launch, you had better abort or you risk an unwanted pregnancy.

On STS-114 Miles, NASA has ... (Below threshold)

On STS-114 Miles, NASA has installed over 100 cameras in an effort to get the "money-shot".

remember it is not the size... (Below threshold)
chris tallent:

remember it is not the size of the rocket that is important it is now fast you get her in to orbet.

I'm <a href="http://home.mc... (Below threshold)

I'm John Kerry and I approved this message.

(Guy in red):Uh...... (Below threshold)
Former Hostage:

(Guy in red):

Uh...actually, this isn't a model. It's a suppository my doctor prescribed for my 'roids.

"Let's modernize NASA by la... (Below threshold)

"Let's modernize NASA by launching Skylab from the top of a Space Shuttle stack."

"No, let's go back to Gemini: everything since then sucked."

"There I was, in Cambodia o... (Below threshold)

"There I was, in Cambodia on Christmas Eve, my swift boat taking heavy fire from the shoreline, all my crew wounded, with only my trusty Shuttle between me 'n the Gooks..."

"uh . . . that would depend... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"uh . . . that would depend on the the definition of 'is' is"

And this one time, at Space... (Below threshold)

And this one time, at Space Camp...

"Screw the 40 goats and 20 ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Screw the 40 goats and 20 cows, the way I figure it, if we can get one of these prosthetic suckers strapped on Bill, we'll get Chelsea in trade easy."

Oh my...... (Below threshold)

Oh my...

Red shirt: "You know, I lef... (Below threshold)

Red shirt: "You know, I left Dick Cheney's employ to get away from just this sort of moment."

Brian Williams NBC news:</p... (Below threshold)

Brian Williams NBC news:

Judy, On the left the man in the blue shirt is holding the George W Bush model and on the right the man in the red shirt is holding the John Kerry model, we know see why Mr. Bush really won re-election.

Judy: indeed Brian.

1. Deuce Bigelow casting co... (Below threshold)

1. Deuce Bigelow casting couch rejects.
2. And Leon is getting larrrrrrger.
3. Mmmmmm.... Astroglide!!!
4. I'll boldly go into your black hole if you boldly go into mine.

Red shirt: "See, this is wh... (Below threshold)

Red shirt: "See, this is why I hate working for CBS. Here we are trying to give a visual demonstration of the space shuttle, and we get two models that aren't even close to the damn thing! Hell, I think mine's a painted bottle rocket!"

Blue shirt: "True, but remember: they're fake, but accurate."

Never before have 2 white m... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Never before have 2 white men held such big things in their hands.

Never before have two white... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Never before have two white men held such big pocket rockets in their hands.

"Now, what we can we do to ... (Below threshold)

"Now, what we can we do to kill two hours and sixteen seconds...?"

Red: "I stayed up all night... (Below threshold)

Red: "I stayed up all night building my model and I did it ALL BY MY SELF! I bet YOU didn't even build yours! I bet your DAD built it for you! CHEATER, CHEATER, CHEATER!!!!"

"Although the risk of side ... (Below threshold)

"Although the risk of side effects are minimal, if you remain in orbit longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention."

As you can see, Miles, your... (Below threshold)

As you can see, Miles, your rocket is designed for entering the atmosphere from the front, while mine is designed for landing on the back side of the moon...

Actually Miles I do beleive... (Below threshold)

Actually Miles I do beleive that the larger one will still fit well up Senator Derbin's *ss. But, as you know NASA does not like to take chances - so we should experiement with both rockets!

After they all used these m... (Below threshold)

After they all used these model rockets on each other I asked them what they called their act. The father sadi, "We're the Aristocrats".

NASA discusses their new ze... (Below threshold)

NASA discusses their new zero gravity space condoms, now with enhanced rocket propelled thrusters for her pleasure.

". . . Actually we were nev... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

". . . Actually we were never able to get Jessica Cutler to endorse either one of these models."

I see your schwartz is bigg... (Below threshold)

I see your schwartz is bigger than mine.


Off Camera:hey did... (Below threshold)

Off Camera:

hey did you hear when Sheila Jackson Lee was visiting the Mars Rover center she asked them if they could go by where the flags were placed in the moon landings?


well she coming by later becuase i convinced her these were actual rockets and we shrink the astronauts down to fit in them...

that's freakin great!

The space program has reall... (Below threshold)

The space program has really taken it in the ass lately.

Blue:These ought to keep th... (Below threshold)

Blue:These ought to keep the astronettes on board really happy!
Red: And some of the guys, too!

GUY ON RIGHT:"And ... (Below threshold)


"And coincidentally Bob, the squinting we're experiencing is why the song is called 'Turning Japanese'".

"The real reason the... (Below threshold)

"The real reason the Shuttles have been grounded is not flying pieces of foam insulation. It is bin Laden's new interceptor here."

This is a regular rocket, y... (Below threshold)

This is a regular rocket, your holding a rocket addicted to Viagra.

Darn it, BlogDog beat me to... (Below threshold)

Darn it, BlogDog beat me to what I was gonna say:

"Yeah, but at least mine don't need strap-ons."

Once the rockets go up, who... (Below threshold)

Once the rockets go up, who cares where they come down, that's not my department, says Werner da Clown on the left.

Rockets? I thought you meant sprockets Dieter. Now, let us dance.

Is that a rocket in your po... (Below threshold)

Is that a rocket in your pocket,
or are you just glad to see me?

So lets see if I understand... (Below threshold)

So lets see if I understand this correctly, if you want to give an enema to George W Bush, you use the skinny one, and if Ted kennedy needs an enema, you gotta use the big one.......yep

Red shirt: "See, now we coa... (Below threshold)

Red shirt: "See, now we coated his with a special foam... for safety."

A AAhh ahhh AHHHHCHEEWW!</p... (Below threshold)


"That's right Miles, he spe... (Below threshold)

"That's right Miles, he specifically said do not use my name for an aircraft carrier or submarine. So, you are holding a model of the space shuttle Bill Clinton."

"Enzyte considers their nex... (Below threshold)

"Enzyte considers their next endorsement deal."

Welcome to Berkeley.... (Below threshold)
Not Tony:

Welcome to Berkeley.

It's not the size of the ro... (Below threshold)
Mrs. Davis:

It's not the size of the rocket that pulls the rabbit out of the hat, but the magic that it performs.

"Miles, the warnings tell y... (Below threshold)

"Miles, the warnings tell you, if erections last longer than four hours you HAVE to call a doctor!"

Red Shirt in thick, Irish a... (Below threshold)

Red Shirt in thick, Irish accent: "Aye, but Cap'n... 2 hours 'n 16 seconds?! I don' think she'll 'old!"

Testing of Dockers' new lin... (Below threshold)

Testing of Dockers' new line of AsbestosKhakis(tm) did not go off without complications..

See Bob telling Bill about ... (Below threshold)

See Bob telling Bill about his new "pocket rocket" that Enzyte helped him "erect"?

No, no, really .....it is r... (Below threshold)

No, no, really .....it is really a neck massager - I swear...

Oh yeah....well...well...my... (Below threshold)
Steve the LLamabutcher:

Oh yeah....well...well...my Paladin Elf has 315 hit points!

"Because of our launch prob... (Below threshold)
Rachel Edith:

"Because of our launch problems Miles, we are going to be playing with the mini rockets for some time to come. No pun intended."

"I was simply horrified, Mi... (Below threshold)

"I was simply horrified, Miles, to find out that anybody can buy these on Amazon.com."

"My sources tell me that Se... (Below threshold)

"My sources tell me that Senate Democrats are in a heated internal struggle to decide which of these to use on John Roberts during the upcoming Confirmation Hearings. I say, 'Why not both?'"

Bill: I appreciate this mo... (Below threshold)

Bill: I appreciate this more than you know Fred. Until you showed up I looked pretty damn foolish with my dick stuck in this model spaceship.

Fred: No problem Bill. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get this way? Is this some kind of sex toy?

Bill: You don't know the half of it. You hold it right down here and reverse the thrust... forget the chrome, this thing'll take the whole damn hitch.

Fred: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Bill: Kind of puts you in space don't it?

Lubricant? We don't need no... (Below threshold)

Lubricant? We don't need no stinking lubricant!

"What are these spacecraft ... (Below threshold)

"What are these spacecraft called?"

"Well Miles, mine is called Entendre 1, while yours is known as the Double Entendre."

Tell me this, why is yours.... (Below threshold)

Tell me this, why is yours.....orange?

The whole model rocket thin... (Below threshold)

The whole model rocket thing sure doesn't draw the models like you'd think.

"...And again, *this* is wh... (Below threshold)

"...And again, *this* is why CNN won't let me use the stage name 'Miles O'Toole'."

"Well, Floyd, NASA has fina... (Below threshold)

"Well, Floyd, NASA has finally turned our specialty of payload deployment into something more useful. I've got Nancy Pelosi's daily dose of BOTOX in this here syringe, and you've the new Teddy Kennedy single-malt scotch suppository."

"Yes, Miles, while yours is... (Below threshold)

"Yes, Miles, while yours is certainly big and boastful, mine is nicely trimmed, sleek and more maneuverable. Mine really is the one the lady astronauts prefer and it has the extended reservoir tip"

NOW THAT"S A GIANT LEAP FOR... (Below threshold)


Hal: "...and althoug... (Below threshold)

Hal: "...and although I thought my second-place bowling trophy was magnificent, here's Dave, the tournament winner, with the biggest damn bowling trophy I've ever seen. I mean, I'm getting the screaming thigh-sweats just looking at it!"

Dave: "Thank you for sharing, Hal..."

They aren't happy to see ea... (Below threshold)
Paul Phillips:

They aren't happy to see each other, they really do have rockets in their pockets.

O'Brien > Describe for our... (Below threshold)

O'Brien > Describe for our viewers why these rockets smell so bad.

....and then michael jackso... (Below threshold)

....and then michael jackson told me to hold my johnson space center like this. Next he told me to do the 'jacko'

Thats just not fair! You ai... (Below threshold)

Thats just not fair! You aint't black.

SWORD FIGHT!!!... (Below threshold)


Man on the right: "Although... (Below threshold)

Man on the right: "Although astronauts can come from any branch of the military, Navy seamen tend to be the most suitable for our rockets."

Miles - "You keep promising... (Below threshold)
Lasting Magic:

Miles - "You keep promising to be the next big thing, but it is not clear how big is 'big' or how soon is 'next'."

Wally what do you mean it'... (Below threshold)

Wally what do you mean it's girth not length that matters. Beav you saw it on Letterman's show top 10 countdown.

Testing future Rocket launc... (Below threshold)

Testing future Rocket launcher leaders in order to tell whose lieing

I like the way yours is bal... (Below threshold)

I like the way yours is balanced on your crotch, can you give me a hand and help me to do the same. Don't worry they can't possible react to our heat.

Now America understands why... (Below threshold)

Now America understands why Soledad fired Bill Hemmer.

"Ribbed...for her pleasure.... (Below threshold)

"Ribbed...for her pleasure....eeewwwwww...

Where is Linda Lovelace whe... (Below threshold)

Where is Linda Lovelace when you need her?

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced (follow the link to read the winning entries). The contest is now closed.






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