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Write That Daily Kos/Atrios Post

First you'll need to read this New York Times piece for background, Political Issues Snarled Plans for Troop Aid. I've excerpted a critical section below.

To seize control of the mission, Mr. Bush would have had to invoke the Insurrection Act, which allows the president in times of unrest to command active-duty forces into the states to perform law enforcement duties. But decision makers in Washington felt certain that Ms. Blanco would have resisted surrendering control, as Bush administration officials believe would have been required to deploy active-duty combat forces before law and order had been re-established.

While combat troops can conduct relief missions without the legal authority of the Insurrection Act, Pentagon and military officials say that no active-duty forces could have been sent into the chaos of New Orleans on Wednesday or Thursday without confronting law-and-order challenges.

But just as important to the administration were worries about the message that would have been sent by a president ousting a Southern governor of another party from command of her National Guard, according to administration, Pentagon and Justice Department officials.

"Can you imagine how it would have been perceived if a president of the United States of one party had pre-emptively taken from the female governor of another party the command and control of her forces, unless the security situation made it completely clear that she was unable to effectively execute her command authority and that lawlessness was the inevitable result?" asked one senior administration official, who spoke anonymously because the talks were confidential.

Officials in Louisiana agree that the governor would not have given up control over National Guard troops in her state as would have been required to send large numbers of active-duty soldiers into the area.

As they say, read the whole thing...

With that information in hand you're now ready to write your Daily Kos or Atrios post that answers the "Can you imagine how it would have been perceived.." portion of the article.

For the sake of your post assume that Bush did invoke the Insurrection Act and seized control of the Louisiana National Guard. Your assignment is to describe that historic takeover in the style of either Kos or Atrios.

Go ahead, unleash your inner moonbat in the comment section. The winning entry will be rewarded semi-handsomely ($50).


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Write That Daily Kos/Atrios Post:

» Outside The Beltway linked with Katrina: Political Issues Slowed Federal Intervention

» larry borsato linked with Finally, I get it.

» Ace of Spades HQ linked with Slam Atrios/Kos, Win 50 Smackers

Comments (54)

I think it was clear that G... (Below threshold)

I think it was clear that Governor Blanco was "unable to effectively execute her command authority". The article suggests that Governor Blanco was eager for help but didn't understand exactly what legal protocol had to be satisfied:

"I need everything you have got," Ms. Blanco said she told Mr. Bush last Monday, after the storm hit.

In an interview, she acknowledged that she did not specify what sorts of soldiers. "Nobody told me that I had to request that," Ms. Blanco said. "I thought that I had requested everything they had. We were living in a war zone by then."

I'm not sure what to make of the Pentagon's fear of inevitable "law-and-order challenges." I understand this Times piece does not elaborate on how ugly and politically disastrous some of those challenges might have appeared, but I think that the military may have massively overrated the power and scope of the criminal element in post-Katrina New Orleans.

Most of all, though I fear this comment will provoke controversy- it seems unbelievable to me that political concerns ("Can you imagine how it would have been perceived") could trump practical ones. Sure, the MoveOn wackos would have made more Bush-Hitler comparisons, but I think it was clear to anyone watching the situation unfold that federal help was desperately needed and desperately wanted.

You miss the point Andrew. ... (Below threshold)

You miss the point Andrew. "Law-and-order challenges" referred to are not that the US Federal troops couldn't handle the lawlessness that occurred.

They would have been placed into a position they weren't authorized to be in, enforcing the law. Check your TV set guy. Even now the US Army troops on the ground within the city are carrying unloaded guns. Fox interviewed one the members yesterday and promenatly showed his unloaded M-16.

I could write a really good... (Below threshold)

I could write a really good one Kevin, but I'm not exactly sure that they need to know how I'd go about doing it. They have no idea how to effectively stage anything and we always get a good laugh at them openly discussing what they are going to do, I don't think we ought to arm the witless parasites.

Oh for crying out loud. Th... (Below threshold)

Oh for crying out loud. This is exactly the kind of ridiculous and childish thinking that killed those people in the Superdome and the Convention Center.

To be clear, the military does not need to take over the situation to participate in the situation. They can go in with the National Guard. Military units always retain the right to shoot to defend themselves and any Governor accepting their assistance know this. They just don't have the power to arrest.

The Superdome and the Convention Center were eventually cleared out by a cooperative effort between National Guard and military units. And all of this was done without ever turning over control to the feds.

It is a sorry day when adults resort to these petty arguments to defends tactics that went awry. Precisous time was lost trying to take over control from the Governor when it was not necessary.

The person who could have mediated this situation and convinced everyone to work together (which eventually happened) was the President of the United States. Instead he chose to side with the "legal team" who were more interestd in setting precedents than saving lives and gave him very very bad advice about playing hardball with a Louisiana Governor.

I imagine this will all come out in the investigations. By then all the spin masters will have new arguments of the day. But it all comes down to one thing. Our leader failed to lead and instead wasted time engaging in bully tactics while people died. This was extremely irresponsible and immoral.

This kind of petty political crap must be avoided in the future. There are very few Governors of any state who are going to turn everything over to the military. Especially in the south. If that is the only plan FEMA and feds have, they need to rethink it.

While combat troops can ... (Below threshold)

While combat troops can conduct relief missions without the legal authority of the Insurrection Act, Pentagon and military officials say that no active-duty forces could have been sent into the chaos of New Orleans on Wednesday or Thursday without confronting law-and-order challenges.


I don't follow your thinking. The Insurrection Act would have given the troops on the ground the authorization to enforce the law.

Without the Insurrection Act, those troops could have been sent to provide "relief", but by enforcing law and order would been exposed to LEGAL challenges after the fact? Or would have been in explicit violation of the law, such that they could provide relief but would be unarmed against and vulnerable to criminal violence? Or they could have defended themselves, but lacked the ability to make arrests? Or is it something else?

I'm worried that in hindsight we will discover that the federal government overestimated the level of violent insurrection and disorder in New Orleans.

Sorry, didn't mean for it t... (Below threshold)

Sorry, didn't mean for it to imply that I was quoting you, Marc, by leading my post with that italicized excerpt from the Times.

Here's a cold hard truth fo... (Below threshold)

Here's a cold hard truth for all of you defending the administration.

There is an element in the government (think DHS) who seem to think it is their main job to figure out ways to inflict a facist, military situation on an area whenever they deem it necessary.

These people spend all of their time and a bunch of your tax dollars trying to figure out how to make their little facist dream come true. They are spending oodles of money on lawyers and camps and weapons and property.

Some of them saw an opening here to force a Governor they saw as "weak" into caving in to their (quite unconstitional) little plan, thereby setting a precedent for future actions.

The President, being the delegator in chief, assumes that his "team" know what they are doing and plays the role they give him, hard nosed negotiator. The Governor doesn't fall for it and they eventually have to just deal with the damn crisis.

They will get to test some other elements of their vision though, with small camps you will eventually hear about, and methods of crowd control that will be quite controversial when people finally figure out what's happening.

So go ahead and defend them. But take a hard look behind the curtain, fellas. You are not going to like what you see.

The word is Fascist.<... (Below threshold)
Natty Dark:

The word is Fascist.

I always have a problem believing in people who cannot even command their native language, let alone complex concepts and hypothetical political situations.

How do you spell boogeyman?

Here's my entry:... (Below threshold)

Here's my entry:

The vacationer in chief bla bla bla Insurrection Act bla bla bla usurped the governor's power bla bla bla, and hypocritical Republicans always talk about states rights. Bla bla bla. Hary Reid said it was "unprecedented" and reminded him of "Hitler usurping the suzeranity of Austria" bla bla bla. Condi Rice and Bushitler ignored an April 11th memo ("obtained" by the New York Times) from the justice derpartment titled, "States are responsible for emergency response, and Democrats are always right." GOP goons claim the memo isn't authentic just because it names Hurricane Katrina by name even though it was written in April. Bla bla bla. Didn't have a plan. Bla bla bla. Religious right bla bla bla. Because of this war bla bla bla. If the election wasn't stolen by rethuglicans and the hurricane hit Nantucket John Kerry would be wind surfing in the storm, looking truly Presidential in his bicycle shorts, and letting state authorities do their job. And clearly that shows that Bush and his whole cabinet don't care about blacks.

Re: bleh's comment (9/9/200... (Below threshold)

Re: bleh's comment (9/9/2005 @ 4:42 AM)

I respectfully suggest that bleh's comment be disqualified from consideration. If he/she/it is the same bleh who comments occasionally at Rightwingsparkle's blog, then this isn't a parody; he/she/it actually believes that load of horse hockey.

And I was thinking Bleh was... (Below threshold)

And I was thinking Bleh was going to win this thing.

The heck with Kos, Where's ... (Below threshold)

The heck with Kos, Where's our snarky photo?!

And so we finally have it. ... (Below threshold)

And so we finally have it. We've known for a long time that the depravity of Bushco has no bounds, but now it's on display for the whole world to see. If this doesn't wake 'em up, then it'll just be to hell with all of them, because they won't deserve anything but what they get from their Dear Leader.

This is really it, folks. They've overplayed their hand. When the pictures come out of Karl's Krazy Korpsman actually shooting the po' negroes, when there are so many bodies clogging the streets of New Orleans that you'll see it on Google Maps' satellite pictures, when the stories come out of the gestapo tactics, of everything we've known they were capable of for the last five years, it'll all be over.

They thought this was the moment they had been waiting for. They didn't realize that this is the call, this is the moment that WE'VE been waiting for.

In usurping the sovereignity of the State of Louisiana, in casting aside the authority of a LEGALLY ELECTED GOVERNOR, in violating one of the basic precepts of our Democracy by using combat troops within our borders, Bushco has decreed that Democrats, women, minorities and everyone who values their Constitutional rights are a lower form of life.

This is the battle cry, people. It's going to get ugly. They just weathered a storm down there. It's time to get ready for the next storm. The real storm.

Thoughts on how you can prepare for the invasion in theresmoreville...

Hmmm. . .I rest my c... (Below threshold)

Hmmm. . .
I rest my case.

<a href="http://wizbangblog... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! BushMc... (Below threshold)

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! BushMcChimpyEnronFuehrer has taken over Louisiana so his daddy's buddies sons in the TANG can bomb the blacks in New Orleans.

If I lived in Virginia Beach, I'd get the hell out.

I'm crying and shaking....don't know whether Dick Cheney is after my ovaries or not. Scratch that - I'm a dude. I guess what I'm saying that Cheney's gay daughter might be after me. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay and stalking people but does she realize that by making such a choice she may never get the opportunity to abort a fetus? That's her right. Maybe she can artifically insemenate and then abort.

The only thing that's gone right in New Orleans is that Mayor Nagin is disarming people - regardless of whether they "legally" own a gun. Mayor Nagin should send his troops across the US and forcably disarm EVERYONE. Just like Reno did in Waco. And if the hatemongeringracistevilredneckguntotinggodlovingcrackers don't like it, we should burn them. Because if it looks like a duck, then it MUST be made of wood and bushes are made of wood. You follow my logic, there is no reason for me to spell it out...you know, burning bush. That's ironic. Like a fly drinking wine. Or is it a pun? Screw Shakespeare, people are being shot in the head in New Orleans by Donald Rumsfeld for being black.

Where's Mommy Sheehan when we need her? And Michael Moore and Howard Dean? Maybe Ophelia will turn and kill 8000 crackers in South Cackalackee and we can go block the roads so the Red Cross can't help.

I'm going to Starbucks to calm down.

[insert assinine tagline attributed to some obscure communist mass murderer here]

'"Can you imagine how it wo... (Below threshold)

'"Can you imagine how it would have been perceived if a president of the United States of one party had pre-emptively taken from the female governor of another party the command and control of her forces, unless the security situation made it completely clear that she was unable to effectively execute her command authority and that lawlessness was the inevitable result?"'

Like that wasn't the case?

Hey, what about the IED's i... (Below threshold)

Hey, what about the IED's in the flat boats and suicide gator attacks by all the NOLA insurgents?

My entry:Its... (Below threshold)
Just Ted:

My entry:

Its all Bush's fault!

I win! Wheres my money? Eh, donate the money to a Katrina relief fund of your choice. I am an evil capitalist. What would I do with a mere 50 dollars anyway? Light another cigar?

I suppose Chimpy McBushitle... (Below threshold)

I suppose Chimpy McBushitler could not be satisfied with his evil plan to eliminate the poor and black people from the south. Even after all of the stolen tax dollars that went towards constructing the Hurricane Machine that wreaked this havoc. Even after squandering their social security and denying basic assitance from these people for five years, to give handouts to the rich.

But he could not be satisfied with just that. No, he had to go one step further, by eliminating a female politician and Democrat. Using the U.S. Armed Forces to remove the authority of the LA governernor is clearly an impeachable offense. ...and he would be lucky to have it stop there. He has murdered the hurricane victims who could not get the aid that Governor Blanco was (so effectively) providing.

Now you have LA National Guard troops being killed in the illegal wars in Afghanistan, and Iraq, and fighting their own people here at home. This is clearly another step to expand the Evil Empire. This fascist cannot be allowed to take over the world for Haliburton and his oil buddies. May Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy, and Nancy Pelosi save us all!

Just to reset the topic:</p... (Below threshold)

Just to reset the topic:

"Can you imagine how it would have been perceived if a president of the United States of one party had pre-emptively taken from the female governor of another party the command and control of her forces, unless the security situation made it completely clear that she was unable to effectively execute her command authority and that lawlessness was the inevitable result?" asked one senior administration official, who spoke anonymously because the talks were confidential.

Yes, I can (you'll have to imagine misspellings, poor grammar and extra exclamation points; maybe "whocares" can provide them):

Watch closely, everyone. This is what Bush and the neocons have in mind for every city in AmeriKKKa, and its no coincidence it starts with one that has such a large eprcentage of African-Americans living there, and such a long history of Democratic governance.

The hurricane and the flooding are the excuse this time, and maybe they'll wait for an earthquake before locking down San Francisco and deporting -- oops, I mean "evacuating" all the people. But if this cabal isn't stopped they'll be sending in the stormtroopers to your city because of a letter to the editor dissenting from the Party Line. You wait. It'll happen.

Now I need to go take another shower.

My Atrios-style entry:... (Below threshold)

My Atrios-style entry:

"Chimp sends in army to conquer New Orleans. It's only a matter of time before the evacuees are hoarded on a bus and sent to Concentration Camps. And Michelle Magalalalalalang will be root root rooting the whole way.

Fucking Wankers."

Moon Monkey:

The headlines speak for themselves folks. Late last evening BushCo thuggery laid waste to Louisiana Governor Blanco!
In a late hours "end-run", the President implemented the rarely used "Insurrection Act". Whereupon,Ms Blanco found herself stripped! Of her Nationnal Guard...
"Sure, I misdirected their use initially",Ms Blanco protested to no avail. "I needed time to huddle with other crackers,er,staff".
The Bush-Bastards literally shot the Governor in the foot with this move...infection is sure to follow. What a sad day for the South,or even America for that matter.
When our correspondent,Pinko Cryer,attempted to get a response to this typically low handed behavior,she was handed a prepared statement reading as follows; "I grieve at this time,and regret that I had no choice in light of the prevailing circumstances but to take control of a failing situation. I am assuring the Governor,that despite my actions today,she will get everything she has comming to her. I give my solemn word that she'll get it in the end. And you can quote me on that".
President Bush

That's it? We're supposed to believe that liar? Daily Kos wants answers! And for starters,I want to know how we can be assured that Gov. Blanco will get hers in the end? Bastards!

In the unlikely event I win... (Below threshold)

In the unlikely event I win, please send the $50 directly to the Red Cross...

(deep breath)

Well, now it all makes sense.

With his war on the environment, Chimpy ensured there would be plenty more "natural" disasters of unimaginable proportions. Many of these would strike helpless overseas victims, already impoverished by his imperialist policies, but they were not the real targets - just "collateral damage". The real target was us.

With his war for oil, he removed the state National Guard from the picture, sending them off to the other side of the world where they couldn't possibly do their primary job of waiting for hurricanes. Once the cats were away, the rats could play.

With his war on the poor, he created a vast multitude of helpless fodder who would be unable to afford a car to get out of the way when disaster loomed, or afford the exorbitant gas prices that were lining the pockets of his oil buddies even if they had one. Instead, they would be forced to forage for the food and water his policies stole from them. The wingnuts on CNN and Fox would, according to script, call this "looting" instead. The wealthiest 1%, on the other hand, had no problem thanks to their tax cuts.

When disaster struck, everyone had their orders. Why else would a State of Emergency be declared days before the hurricane even made landfall, and before the extent of the damage was clear? This is the smoking gun people.

But there's much more. We now know that Bush personally called the governor to urge a mandatory evacuation, two days the storm hit. Now why would he do that? New Orleans is 2/3's African American. So it couldn't have been to save lives. Is anyone naive enough to believe that? No, it was to create a huge diaspora of refugees, overwhelming the city and state's resources. Those overwhelmingly African-American refugees would be welcomed into the solidly red state of Texas, where they would be effectively disenfranchised for the foreseeable future. There is another name for it: ethnic cleansing.

To their credit, the mayor and governor refused to take the bait. Under pressure from Bush, the mayor ordered a mandatory evacuation, but cleverly held back the city's large transportation pool, which could have allowed Bush's ploy to succeed. The governor delayed calling in National Guard troops, who, like the Clone Army in Revenge of the Sith, might have received "Order 69" and turned on her at any moment. Governor Blanco's cool grace under pressure and refusal to yield has earned her a place alongside Saddam Hussein, Abu-Musab al-Zarqawi and myself in the pantheon of freedom fighters.

But Nagin and Blanco's heroism wasn't enough. Even before the winds had died down, FEMA commando teams began the federal assault. They had prepositioned food, water and medical supplies. Sound familiar? Well of course it does. They did the same thing in Kuwait before toppling another sovereign, democratically elected government in Iraq. Practice makes perfect, and they left nothing to chance in this invasion.

Bush's media puppets continued to follow the script. They hyped images of people trapped in Superdome and at the New Orleans convention center, whipping up a frenzy of hysteria. These peoples' lives were in no danger, and in the wake of such a massive storm, everyone would have understood if they'd had to wait a few days for evacuation. But the Fuhrer had other plans.

Quoting legal mumbo-jumbo, mouthing laughable platitudes about wanting to save lives and restore order, and claiming the state's response (which on September 1 just four days after the storm had barely gotten started) to be inadequate, the trap was sprung. Against the wishes of (another) democratically elected government, Bush sent in the Army to "save" helpless, dark-skinned people who just happen to live next to a whole bunch of oil. He invaded Louisiana.

Even Hitler waited longer after the Reichstag fire.

With ruthless efficiency, FEMA and the butchers of Abu Ghraib and Gitmo now descended on an American city, with an African-American mayor, in a state governed by a woman. Would Bush and company have been so eager to rush battalions of goose-stepping storm troopers into a city full of white people? You know the answer to that one.

His legal fig leaf for this act of war on American citizens was a dusty statute called "The Insurrection Act" dating from the Civil War era. It allows the President to invade a state with Federal troops if the state rebels. That's right folks - a hurricane is now an insurrection.

If we allow this to happen, we deserve our fate. But we will NOT allow this to happen. What has to happen next is obvious.

The people still in New Orleans should stay where they are and refuse to leave the city. There are no "looters" now, they are insurgents. Once a few hundred martyrs, preferably minorities, have fallen to Bush's army in front of the TV cameras, the facade of "saving lives" and "restoring order" will be exposed.

The governor must order the state's police to resist and block the flow of supplies to Bush's SS. Resistance is key. The local police are the Minutemen.

Residents of Louisiana must also resist. We can finally dispense with tiresome platitudes about "supporting the troops". We know what works from Iraq - improvised explosive devices. Use them. Go after the soft-targets if you have to - mercenaries like the Red Cross and Salvation Army. They aren't in Louisiana because of orders, or because they are there trying to help the people make Louisiana a better place. They are there to deliver relief for profit. Screw them.

Impeachment is insufficient (yeah, like we really want Cheney in charge). This government must be overthrown. They have already torn up the Constitution by declaring war on us.

If they want an "insurrection", let's give them one.


(ugh, it's gonna take a few showers to feel clean again after that...)

LagunaDave, that's a good o... (Below threshold)

LagunaDave, that's a good one. I thought mine was doing well, but now...

My Entry:Tears str... (Below threshold)

My Entry:

Tears streamed from my eyes as I saw the evil rove-inspired jackbooted military minions enter New Orleans. We all Now know that thousands of African Americans were executed, and this was made to look as though they drowned. I do believe that the Neo-Cons dressed up as thugs, in order to shoot at both the locals and rescuers. This was all planned months ago. Water and food were intentionally moved out of the Superdome and Convention Center over to the Astrodome, for the express purpose of making McChimpy Hitler's home state look like the savior of all of the oppressed locals.

In addition, two hours prior to Katrina hitting the louisiana coastline, 200 lbs of high explosives were attached to the inside wall of the levee. The explosives were set to go off the instant any Democrat asked McChimpy for help. Finally, as we all know, Global Warming is the fault of Halliburton and Bush, since they are artificially heating up the gulf coast waters with their oil drilling.

/dumocrat filter off

If I win, please donate my winnings to the Houston Red Cross - FrankR

Oh yeah, if my entry... (Below threshold)

Oh yeah, if my entry above somehow wins, please give the $50 to the PKD foundation at www.pkdcure.org.

So rather than debating the... (Below threshold)

So rather than debating the government's decision, which may have been wrong (or right), we should just ridicule the most extreme/nutty critics on the other end of the political spectrum. That's the most productive contribution we can make to the discourse. I'm not trying to be sanctimonious, this is just how I am naturally!!

Keyboard Pundits on the right talk among themselves, reiterate their beliefs, mock and fear the irrational left.
Keyboard Pundits on the left talk among themselves, reiterate their beliefs, mock and fear the irrational right.

Can't we try just a little bit harder

No. Half the citizens of this country are given over to incorrigible, unreasonable madness. But no one on our half.

Andrew,If you lose... (Below threshold)
Robert Modean:


If you lose your sense of humour in the face of disaster, then the hurricane will have truly won.

Andrew,You ... (Below threshold)


You should look for serious discussion under one of the blog entries that's not filed under "Parody" or "Contests."

I cast my vote for LagunaDa... (Below threshold)

I cast my vote for LagunaDave. Brilliant.

It would be hard to beat th... (Below threshold)

It would be hard to beat the real thing, from a site called "matewan" covering Bush's attempt to use martial law in New Orleans to kill or oppress all the workers.

It might provide some inspirations snippets for the contest, though.

Kos:You just knew ... (Below threshold)


You just knew this was going to happen. Sure, we've been saying it ever since Chimpy stole the election under the cover of night in 2000. But it's here.

And G-d help us because we'd better get used to it. Think about it. If BushCo can use a minor disaster like Hurricane Katrina to take over control that the Constitution CLEARLY states belongs to state and local officials, he'll look for any reason whatsoever.

Say Chertoff wants to raise the terrorism threat level. Hello Martial Law in Washington and New York.

It's time to take a stand. Our constitutional rights depend on it. And if you don't take a stand, you're as un-American as those war profiteers that were killed in Fallujah 18 months ago.

Screw them and screw you, too, if you don't join us in our fight for America!!

And for bonus points, here's Oliver Willis:


---------------------------... (Below threshold)

Shrub: A Pussy Communist/b>

Preznit Shrub decided to finally play Commander-in-Chief. But rather than take on the Evil Doers Who Do Evil over in Iraq, Bush did just like he did in Vietnam.... Bush stayed home to fight his war.

Governor Kathleen Babineaux Blanco is just the first victim of this Rethuglican takeover. Despite assurances from his own Department of Homeland Security, Bush pulled the panic switch and TOOK OVER the Governor's National Guard Troops. Federalized them. For the FIRST time in over 100 years The Federal Military Trained Guns on Its Own People. That's Posse Commitatus, people - POSSE COMMITATUS!!!!!!!

All this because the delusional cokehead drunk sitting in the Oval Office.... make that Crawford ... showed the other delusional cokehead drunk, the one avoiding Mother Sheehan, some swirly thing on the Weather Channel.

Bush got antsy and - Christ - he FEDERALIZED the trooops. Because Ol' Georgie knows better than the Governor what's best for the people in the state. Goddammit to hell: Where's a fucking pretzel when you need it.

Those troops, btw, were pointing guns at black people. I bet Bush got a shrubbie at the thought of the military training guns on the po' black folk living in New Orleans.

Forget the 101st Fighting Keyboarders, this was the 82nd Airborne. Mark my words - the Military Occupation of the Blue States has begun.

Watch your backs people.


Thanks a friggin' lot, Lagu... (Below threshold)

Thanks a friggin' lot, LagunaDave. How are the literarily poor and disenfranchised supposed to move to that deluxe apartment in the sky when you're scarfing our piece of the pie? I swear, this country is just chock-o-block full of treasonous fascists sworn to the culturally hegemonic ideas of "meritocracy" and "competition". Gaia, I swear my only chance of survival is getting tenure. Wish me luck, Chimphumpers.

Andrew,I... (Below threshold)


If you lose your sense of humour in the face of disaster, then the hurricane will have truly won.
Posted by: Robert Modean at September 9, 2005 01:23 PM


You should look for serious discussion under one of the blog entries that's not filed under "Parody" or "Contests."
Posted by: jc at September 9, 2005 01:51 PM

Sorry guys, I don't find this funny. If people are dead even partly because the president was worried about hurting his approval ratings, or agitating MoveOn.org, if people are dead because the president made a bad decision, no matter what his political party: THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

It merits discussion.

So Bush has unconstitutiona... (Below threshold)

So Bush has unconstitutionally wrested control of the Louisiana National Guard from the governor of Louisiana. Oh gee, I wonder why? Maybe to hog all the glory and credit for saving all the residents of New Orleans? By the way, what does a draft-dodging CHICKENHAWK like Bush get the authority to command the National Guard? Maybe when Jenna and Barbara sign up, I'll consider him worthy. But they'll have to sober up first.

It would be hard to beat th... (Below threshold)

It would be hard to beat the real thing, from a site called "matewan" covering Bush's attempt to use martial law in New Orleans to kill or oppress all the workers.

Certainly makes it painfully clear that we're all rank amateurs here.

Like all great writers, he saves the best for last:

If I wasn’t already ashamed of what we’ve become, this would do it.


Andrew, one method of start... (Below threshold)

Andrew, one method of starting your discussion is by starting a weblog, posting your thoughts on the Katrina situation and opening comments.

Just like Kevin, Jay, etc. have done here.

Just a thought.

Andrew, perhaps your... (Below threshold)

Andrew, perhaps your right and it does merit discussion. Start a blog and get people discussing it. The ball is in your court.

As for this thread it's Kevin's blog so he will approach it from his viewpoint whether you think it funny or not. Ultimately, the freedom to have either opinion is it not what this nation is all about?

(/Off the Soapbox)

Eww, LagunaDave, go wash yo... (Below threshold)

Eww, LagunaDave, go wash your mind out with soap.
This bit: "alongside Saddam Hussein, Abu-Musab al-Zarqawi and myself"--it's so lifelike.

Andrew, you're missing the ... (Below threshold)

Andrew, you're missing the point. This isn't about what you want it to be about (which is why others have urged you to start your own blog -- they're not necessarily being snarky), it's about the very real history of people who have lost all touch with reality, and how they go ballistic regardless of the facts.

The point of this post is to have fun with what is truly a deplorable condition that has beset people who really ought to be moving the discussion you want to have.

It may not sound like it sometimes, but we'd like to have that discussion too. It's just not worth doing if it's going to be drowned out by hysterics.

You can be the one who does the public service of moving the discussion you want to have. Just not in this thread.

This bit: "alongside Sad... (Below threshold)

This bit: "alongside Saddam Hussein, Abu-Musab al-Zarqawi and myself"--it's so lifelike.

You're right, that line is weak.

I should have compared Blanco's steely-eyed grace under the national spotlight to Cindy Sheehan's instead.

Here's mine! Complete with... (Below threshold)

Here's mine! Complete with all the key parts of a Kos thread: Bush is a racist, Bush hates women, Bush should be impeached, and Bush should use the military for nothing having to do with fighting a war. All this without respect to fact-checking or logical formation of an argument!

Just before Bush takes away a woman's right to abort a fetus, he will take away a woman's right to govern her own state. Mark my words.--Psychic Sylvia Browne on Montel Williams 15 January 2004

Just like my idol, psychic Sylvia Browne, said, Bush is out to take away everything from women! Their right to be married to women, their rights to abort a baby they had by mistake, their right to be black without being arrested, and NOW their right to govern the state of Louisiana!

A top white house aide has told me that Shrimpy McBubbaGumpitler told his staff that he needed to 'bring in the troops cuz that dumb ditz of a governor can't control them lowland negroes on her own.'

So Bush calls up the proverbial fire hose to keep those African-Americans from exercising their rights to food and drink and the one possible chance in their life, in a racist country determined to keep them poor, to touch a flat-screened TV. Using the US military to fight its own citizens against the wishes of the competent governor of Louisiana is an abomination; the US military should only be used to build safe floating bridges from the rich higher-ground areas to the poor, flooded areas. If the army corps of engineers couldn't get to the broken levees in time to fix them, the least they can do is build floating bridges to lead the poor, destitute resisdents of New Orleans to safety.

If the military hadn't been using all those barracks to house baby killers doomed to go to Iraq to fight an illegal war, the residents of N.O. could have slept there until the hurricane subsided. Just another reason Bush is to blame for the deaths of more of his so-called "people".

Impeach Bush!

Re: andrew's comment (9/9/2... (Below threshold)

Re: andrew's comment (9/9/2005 @3:52 PM)

Actually, the only person that I heard was worried about approval ratings was Governor Blanco, who refused to send in the National Guard because of the fear that some of them might get shot. Or worse yet, that they might shoot some of the poor, oppressed peoples who were liberating necessities like stereo equipment, big screen televisions and beer. That would have made her look really cold and uncaring. Can't have that, now can we?

I'm getting fed up! There a... (Below threshold)
Moon Monkey:

I'm getting fed up! There are just too many people writing clearly lucid thoughts that make sense. How am I supposed to compete with my limited education and the fact that I had to walk to school plus bring my own lunch?
Incidentally,in the event that I win,is it true that I get a $50. Debit Card? Just wondering.

Oh, and another thing...<br... (Below threshold)
Moon Monkey:

Oh, and another thing...
Laguna Dave should be disqualified.
He uses "spell check" and voted for Bush!

fatman,What does t... (Below threshold)


What does the article directly above this comment say? That the White House was afraid to federalize the National Guard in part because of "law-and-order challenges", in other words

that some of them might get shot. Or worse yet, that they might shoot some of the poor, oppressed peoples who were liberating necessities like stereo equipment, big screen televisions and beer ?

Why is that normal deliberative wisdom when it's the President's decision, but cowardly approval-rating politicking when it's the Governor's decision?

I'll give it a shot:<... (Below threshold)

I'll give it a shot:

Martial Law in NO

I'm not going to discuss the gross violation of the Constitution that occured when Bush illegally took over the situation in NO. I'm not going to discuss how this goes against hundreds of years of precedent of caution in using active military in police work, caution the Bush administration threw to the wind when they took over before any looting occured. I'm not going to discuss other options the Bush administration didn't even consider (like having an active-duty, three-star general sworn into the Louisiana National Guard.) Nor am I going to discuss how Bush's actions are easily grounds for impeachment. (Though they'll probably use Alberto "the Geneva Convention is quaint" Gonzales to argue that the federal government had authority to move in even over the objection of local officials.)

What I want to discuss is how many people died because of the federal takeover. It is well established that federal assistance from FEMA is not to be expected until 72 hours after an incident. Yet Bush put FEMA in charge instead of the city and state government. Mindboggling in its stupidity. The city and state governments are right there. They have better information on the situation and important locations. They had to have plans for evacuation already made up. That's why the National Response Plan(pdf), the government's real "Contract With America", continuously states that "Incidents are typically managed at the lowest possible geographic, organizational, and jurisdictional level." Instead of handing over control to the former head of a horse group.

By now you've probably seen the picture of hundreds of flooded buses. That is a direct result of Bush's actions. It is impossible to imagine that the city would not have used those buses for evacuation. Did the feds even know the buses were there? Or was it a result of the delay in getting federal authorities in place, as opposed to city authorities who were right there? Only a thorough investigation will tell us exactly why. One thing's for sure: Bush has blood on his hands.


-Atrios 2:23 PM

You guys should do this mor... (Below threshold)

You guys should do this more often, and post a link to it on dKos or Atrio, so that us crazy leftists hear about it. BTW-It's gotta be LagunaDave, hands down.

Here's my parody:B... (Below threshold)
The Raven:

Here's my parody:

Bush couldn't have handled the disaster in New Orleans worse, even if he'd deliberated attempted to bungle it. As we look over the long list of White House missteps, perhaps we should ask ourselves, "Just how much worse of a job could he possibly have done?"

The question dazzles the mind. One supposes that if Bush were truly an imbecile, he would have cut FEMA funding and staffed the agency with a bunch of clowns who knew absolutely nothing about disaster relief.

Then he'd demote the agency to a mere division of the bloated and bureaucracy gridlocked Department of Homeland Security. These two steps would ensure that any Federal response would be pathetic - at best.

Never one to rest on his laurels, George "Genius Boy" Bush would get a report on the impending Katrina hit on NOLA and go to sleep. On the day when the floodwaters were rising, he'd gather some pals and eat cake. As thousands were baking in the convention center, he'd play a guitar and mug for the cameras.

Lastly, if the press were ever to get wind of his failings in regard to leadership and action at a time when they were most needed, he'd assign Condi Rice to, oh... maybe go shopping for shoes, and later swing by Louisiana during rescue efforts. Remember folks, when the President is on the scene, choppers don't fly. More lives lost to stupidity and photo ops.

Whew! Parody sure is hard work.

Raven, As parody it really ... (Below threshold)

Raven, As parody it really doesn't work. Even a rabid moonbat wouldn't believe Condi Rice was responsible for Disaster relief.

My goodness...these are so ... (Below threshold)

My goodness...these are so good, I'm not even going to submit mine. My vote goes to Laguna Dave.

Rush Limbaugh <a href="http... (Below threshold)

Rush Limbaugh says nobody reads Kos or Atrios anyhow. Nobody but other bloggers.






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