« Hoist by his own F-Stop | Main | Britney Spears Sex Tape, Coming Soon? »

Fetus Cruise?


In a break from your regularly scheduled political programming, I give you the prospect of TomKat progeny.

Poor kid's gonna be all shades and chompers.

Update: In comments, Insomniac asks: "What's with the hair-pulling death grip?"

A good and oft-pondered question. It is a Tom Cruise phenomenon that the Manolo has been studying for some time, so I'll let him show you more of the Death Grip of Super Masculinity, though it is doubtful that anyone will ever be able to truly explain it.

Comments (22)

What's the the hair pulling... (Below threshold)

What's the the hair pulling death grip?

First "the" should be "with... (Below threshold)

First "the" should be "with." PIMF.

Her parents must be thrille... (Below threshold)

Her parents must be thrilled.

I think the Death Grip is T... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

I think the Death Grip is Tom's way of saying 'Tell anyone, I mean anyone, about my status in the upper echelons of my faux religion, and I will...well, I'll...I dunno...send you to psychiatrist and have them say you're crazy! Yes, crazy! I will, I promise!"

And somehow I hear all that in a weird, not-of-this-world alien accent. But maybe that's all just me...

Wonder who the father is?</... (Below threshold)

Wonder who the father is?

Jeff:L. Ron Hubbar... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:


L. Ron Hubbard.

Rumor has it that the baby ... (Below threshold)

Rumor has it that the baby is depressed that Tom Cruise is his father, and it's going to have to be a Scientologist. I'd be bummed in the burner, too, baby.

Washington Cube Was Here. #176

LOL Jeff, you beat me to th... (Below threshold)

LOL Jeff, you beat me to the punch on the paternity question.

Now if the progeny resembled a Federline, that would be just too f*ckin' funny...

Oh, and why does Tommy have... (Below threshold)

Oh, and why does Tommy have to keep up with the "hey look, I'm normal TOO!" thingy in the media? It's like everything he does with her, romantic/relationship-wise, is a caricature of itself - hollow, empty, and completely made-for-hollywood.

Reminds me of a guy I knew once, whose demeanor post-divorce (after messy affair) was a miserable attempt at trying to convince himself, and everyone around him, that he was "happy". It looked more like the guy couldn't shake his guilt over his role in the breakup and had to keep justifying his "good" emotional mindset to the world, because otherwise, "they" wouldn't understand - but instead, it looked like the only person he was really trying to convince was his own conscience.

Someone want to pay the delivering hospital staff money to collect hair samples from Tom, Katie, and baby, to determine paternity? Oh, don't forget Kevin (Federline) too...just in case he was pinch hitting...er, spurting.

Ok, I'm on a roll...is Jude... (Below threshold)

Ok, I'm on a roll...is Jude Law going to volunteer to be their babysitter?

Let's all hope that Katie d... (Below threshold)

Let's all hope that Katie doesn't suffer from Post-Partum depression, or she's toast.

She may have to be "entertained" by the entire history of psychology as told by Maverick. If it were me, I'd be slitting my wrists.

This photo could easily be ... (Below threshold)

This photo could easily be from another bad vampire movie.

But who really cares about Tom Cruise? Isn't this just a topic for chick bloggers?

Jeff:It's the imma... (Below threshold)


It's the immaculate deception.

And if it's a boy, he can w... (Below threshold)
Old Coot:

And if it's a boy, he can wear daddy's clothes by about age 5 (if they can lenghten the pants somewhat).

Yeah, McCain, everyo... (Below threshold)

Yeah, McCain, everyone knows celebrity gossip is only for chick bloggers. Oh, wait.

Ian Fleming, in one of the ... (Below threshold)

Ian Fleming, in one of the Bond novels, asserted that this sort of death grip was exciting to women.


But Mary, careful an... (Below threshold)

But Mary, careful analysis of their gender reveals that Britney Spears is a lot different than Tom Cruise. She is a bimbo trashy babe with no talent. He, on the other hand, is merely a guy. Of course everyone wants to see her and the countless others like her that Kevin is kind enough to post. But Tom Cruise? Please, give your attentive readers Paris or Kate Moss. :)

Stop. You had me at... ... (Below threshold)
D. Doré:

Stop. You had me at... "L. Ron Hubbard".

When did he take up chewing... (Below threshold)

When did he take up chewing tobacco?

Boagart photos, IIRC, oft f... (Below threshold)

Boagart photos, IIRC, oft featured a very similar throat grip motif. I googled Bogart in images and found several such with Bergman and Bacall.

Speaking personally, I'd not have wanted either of those two ladies getting away from me either, but I'll leave it to others as to whether either of them measure up to Bogart/Bacall/Bergman. ;-)

I'm happy these days to rea... (Below threshold)

I'm happy these days to read about two MARRIED (or soon to be, in this case) people who want a family, actually having that family. I hope that Tom Cruise and his wife, Katie (soon to be) have a happy child and more to come.

That's the extent of my emotion about this but I do find the neck grabbing an ugly pose. It might have a lot to do with their height issues, and what the camera captures, as to why Cruise resorts to the effort when the cameras are near. He DOES make his living in front of cameras, to state the obvious; however, the body language involved is troubling.

"What's with the hair pulli... (Below threshold)

"What's with the hair pulling death grip?"

That's they way he holds all of his boyfriends--but usually from behind ...






Follow Wizbang

Follow Wizbang on FacebookFollow Wizbang on TwitterSubscribe to Wizbang feedWizbang Mobile


Send e-mail tips to us:

[email protected]

Fresh Links


Section Editor: Maggie Whitton

Editors: Jay Tea, Lorie Byrd, Kim Priestap, DJ Drummond, Michael Laprarie, Baron Von Ottomatic, Shawn Mallow, Rick, Dan Karipides, Michael Avitablile, Charlie Quidnunc, Steve Schippert

Emeritus: Paul, Mary Katherine Ham, Jim Addison, Alexander K. McClure, Cassy Fiano, Bill Jempty, John Stansbury, Rob Port

In Memorium: HughS

All original content copyright © 2003-2010 by Wizbang®, LLC. All rights reserved. Wizbang® is a registered service mark.

Powered by Movable Type Pro 4.361

Hosting by ServInt

Ratings on this site are powered by the Ajax Ratings Pro plugin for Movable Type.

Search on this site is powered by the FastSearch plugin for Movable Type.

Blogrolls on this site are powered by the MT-Blogroll.

Temporary site design is based on Cutline and Cutline for MT. Graphics by Apothegm Designs.

Author Login

Terms Of Service

DCMA Compliance Notice

Privacy Policy