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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

(AFP/White House/Eric Draper)

Winners will be announced Sunday evening.

Update: Winners announced (click the link to read the winning entries). Entries are now closed.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™:

» Random Numbers linked with Random Caption Contest Week 5.

» The Right Place linked with Captions Outrageous! [Heavy Medal Edition]

» Argghhh! The Home Of Two Of Jonah's Military Guys.. linked with Saturday Fare

Comments (122)

What do you mean, 'we're no... (Below threshold)

What do you mean, 'we're not in Kansas anymore?'

Bush has a Clintonesque mom... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Bush has a Clintonesque moment
"Yes Dick, Harriert is showing me her credentials right now"

now that's funny!!!... (Below threshold)

now that's funny!!!

"Hey, can I call ya'll back... (Below threshold)

"Hey, can I call ya'll back in a sec? Rove's pounded on the door again. Keeps coming in here and going on about, 'now in case I'm not around...'".

CondiJust tell the... (Below threshold)
retired military:


Just tell the Syrian President that we arent going to invade and that they should "trust us".


"Condi, tell Kim Il Jung, that I am sorry but "Trust Us" just isnt good enough when dealing with matters of such long lasting importance to the future of the United States".

What do you mean Hillary said "Trust me"?

Sorry but What do ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Sorry but

What do you mean Hillary said "Trust me"?

should have read

What do you mean Hillary told the folks of NY that "I am not going to run for President, Trust me"?

Osama who?... (Below threshold)

Osama who?

"I want that with pepperoni... (Below threshold)

"I want that with pepperoni, mushrooms and extra cheese..."

“Yes, I’d like 500 large pi... (Below threshold)

“Yes, I’d like 500 large pizzas delivered to the Capital Hill please. What? … My name? … Oh…, its Clinton, Hillary Clinton.”

Can you hear me now?... (Below threshold)
spurwing plover:

Can you hear me now?

Yes, Laura, of course it wi... (Below threshold)

Yes, Laura, of course it will be a woman. Of course, dear, Harriet is a good pick. Yes, dear, if you insist on it, it will be her. But, dear, I do realize that I only have 3 more years with these Beltway Bozos, but 30 more years with you. Yes, dear, of course, dear...

"Seriously, I honestly thin... (Below threshold)

"Seriously, I honestly think that the ball hit the dirt! Yeah, I think the ump made the right call."

"I'm not running again. Leg... (Below threshold)

"I'm not running again. Legacy smegacy. I don't care who put me here. I'm for cronyism, war and increasing my personal wealth. I'm a chip off the old block, huh Daddy?"

Rover, get in here! This "... (Below threshold)

Rover, get in here! This "computer" you've been telling me about turns out to be a red folder. I checked!

Oh my, that's terrible! 3 ... (Below threshold)
D. Doré:

Oh my, that's terrible! 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed yesterday?!

Uh... How many IS a brazillion?

"One ringy dingy . . . Two ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"One ringy dingy . . . Two ringy dingies . . ."

Say Cindy, would you like t... (Below threshold)

Say Cindy, would you like to have that meeting now? This Meirs thing is putting a real hurtin on me.

Hey Cheney, My new speak an... (Below threshold)

Hey Cheney, My new speak and say presidental phone pronounces "Nu-ca-lur" just like I do!

"No Teddy, I won't forward ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"No Teddy, I won't forward you to that phone sex number, you got me last week and Laura's still giving me hell about it. Make your own damn call."

AP Pool Photograph, DATELIN... (Below threshold)


President Bush graphically demonstrates how he "[J]ust called that Miers nomination in".

"So..... tell me what kind... (Below threshold)
Tim in PA:

"So..... tell me what kind of underwear you have on right now..."

"Dick, Was that a Diet Peps... (Below threshold)

"Dick, Was that a Diet Pepsi with your sipersized big Mac Meal ? "

this is meant as a joke so ... (Below threshold)

this is meant as a joke so don't got nuclear on me:

"Karl, are you sure that none of those folks at NRO are married to an undercover CIA agent ?"

"I don't care if you're tel... (Below threshold)

"I don't care if you're telling me to invade Hyannisport tomorrow... how many times have I told you not to call me on this number, God?"

Hello... yes... yes I k... (Below threshold)

Hello... yes... yes I know everyone said it could't be done... your welcome Iraq.

1. I picked a bad week to g... (Below threshold)

1. I picked a bad week to get off the RINO train

2. I need someone who can fix New Orleans. Someone with experience and know how. Use a phone book? Novel idea. Start with the Ps? Paul of Wizbang?! Perfect. He's even got a premade nickname - the Wizzer.

3. Hey Secret Service, Hillary's in here again trying to measure for news drapes. She's gotta wait til I'm gone.

4. One ringy dingy... two ringy dingy...

5. ... here's my impression of Dick Cheney - Go $%^# yourself!

"Hey Vladimir! Did you hea... (Below threshold)

"Hey Vladimir! Did you hear the one about the chinese getting into space..."

"Hello, you've reached Nora... (Below threshold)

"Hello, you've reached Norad's automated customer service line. If you wish to launch by code, push one; if you know the destination code, press two, or stay on the line and you we be assisted in the order you called"

(cue musak version of "Eve of Destruction")

Senator Kennedy? *snicker* ... (Below threshold)

Senator Kennedy? *snicker* Is your refrigerator running? *snort*

Karl, can you comere a sec?... (Below threshold)

Karl, can you comere a sec?
You're German is good: Explain the difference to the outgoing Chancellor between loosing under 2,000 people to a Category 5 huricane and losing over 5,000 to a frickin heat wave. Yeah. And do it in your "Col. Klink" voice. I love it when you say "Schroooooeder" and squint that one eye.

Hey Laura, use that book larning of yours, and call Chirac with the same message. But do your Capt. Renault when you tell him you are shocked! schocked! that it only takes a few mild Texas days to kill off 7,000 frogs.

Man, I love have the World Leader Hotline...

"Darn it Fineman, you know ... (Below threshold)

"Darn it Fineman, you know Karl didn't bomb New Orleans - he was in Texas with me. And thanks for the flowers by the way, but as I told you before this administration is not close to being dead."

Hmmmm."Hey is this... (Below threshold)


"Hey is this IPod on?"


"No, no, no--I'm telling yo... (Below threshold)

"No, no, no--I'm telling you, this room is a circle... Say what? ... Put my glasses on?"

"Hello, Jacques...You heard... (Below threshold)

"Hello, Jacques...You heard the bad news about Gerhard, right? YOU'RE NEXT STINKY! HAHAHAHAH."

Yes, Mr. Putin? Do you have... (Below threshold)

Yes, Mr. Putin? Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

"Whats the number for 91... (Below threshold)

"Whats the number for 911?!!!"

Hey Rummy, do you think tha... (Below threshold)

Hey Rummy, do you think that we can do another event like we did yesterday, in the near future? This time though leave the press in the dark.

Damn, Billy. Harriet even l... (Below threshold)
Dwight P:

Damn, Billy. Harriet even looks good with my glasses off.

"What's that Foxy? Put mir... (Below threshold)

"What's that Foxy? Put mirrors on my borders so your folks think our country is just as shitty as yours? GREAT idea!"

"Uh, No we don't have Princ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Uh, No we don't have Prince Albert in a can. . . Dad? . . . is that you?

"Why did I call this extens... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Why did I call this extension? Well Condi said something about 1555 and walked out."

Journalists expressed outra... (Below threshold)

Journalists expressed outrage when it became apparent that what they thought was a candid shot of the president turned out to be staged. The controversy emerged after it was discovered that President Bush had written down a list of pizza toppings before he placed the call.

".... and send the Helen Th... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

".... and send the Helen Thomas impersonator in the cake to 15 Old House Lane, Chappaqua NY."

Whenever he's feeling down ... (Below threshold)

Whenever he's feeling down George Bush conference calls Al Gore and John Kerry so he can hear the white house operator tell them to "please hold for The President".

WHAASSSSSSUUUUUP!... (Below threshold)


Yeah, I'm gonna need you gu... (Below threshold)

Yeah, I'm gonna need you guys to come in here. Barney Frank is naked in my office again.

...OK, I'll consider it and... (Below threshold)

...OK, I'll consider it and I look forward to your report. By the way, about this Supreme Court vacancy, that lady down the hall that wears the colorful scarves is a lawyer isn't she?

What do you mean you were j... (Below threshold)

What do you mean you were just kidding around when you put Miers on your list Harry?

Yeah, Jenna... it's Dad. He... (Below threshold)

Yeah, Jenna... it's Dad. Hey, how would you like to be the next attorney general of the United States?

No,I don't want to... (Below threshold)


I don't want to change my long distance service.

So Abdullah... how much mor... (Below threshold)

So Abdullah... how much more do you want us to carve off Israel for nothing in return? I'll get Condi right on it. [pause] Aw, come on... do I HAVE to? [pause] Oh, alright... if you insist... There is no other God but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet.

Hello? Senator Kennedy nic... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Hello? Senator Kennedy nice to speak with you again, how is that education bill coming? Good Good. So what do I owe the pleasure of this call? Oh Souter is announcing his retirement tomorrow and since Harry Reid had the last pick you want your turn. Well I think we can do that as long as she fits my criteria.

Who's that you say? Now why would I make that choice? Well, yes a lawyer is a good choice, and that candidate is definitely under the radar, and I am sure that a few democratic Senators would approve of the pick. I see your point and your right would help out in the '08 Presidential race too

Well Senator Kennedy I will have to think on it. I mean how will it look if the press finds out I selected Hillary for the Supreme Court and it would clear the way for your man Kerry to get the Democratic nod. Why I would get all that criticism from the press about muddling with the democratic presidential primaries.

Have a good day Ted.

And I said, I don't care if... (Below threshold)

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

Bush records a greeting ... (Below threshold)

Bush records a greeting for his answering machine: "Hello, you've reached the White House. I can't come to the phone right now so please just wait for the tone and then leave your name and phone number, and a brief description of your Supreme Court qualifications, we'll be sure and get right back to you."

"Yeah, it's a great movie. ... (Below threshold)

"Yeah, it's a great movie. Yeah, that crazy girl really kicked ass didn't she? Yeah, I thought that was the best line in the movie. Listen, it's been great talkin' to ya, but I'm afraid you got the wrong number."

"Dick? Yeah, OK, so what's ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Dick? Yeah, OK, so what's the little red button do again?"

"They cow says... MOOOO!" *... (Below threshold)

"They cow says... MOOOO!" *
"The chicken says... Bok bok!"
"The Left says...we question the timing!"
"The Hippie says... Heyyy man, Abu Ghraaaaaib!"

- - - - -
*Special Vegetarian Edition*

"The soy cow says...Meh."
(yeah, I know, I borrowed it from DieselSweeties.com)

Hey FreakyBoy,You ... (Below threshold)

Hey FreakyBoy,

You should have added "Para Espanol, marque numero tres." (SP?)

"I just called... to say...... (Below threshold)

"I just called... to say... I love yooouuu..."

or, of course:

"You are so f'in hot. Just look at me if you agree with anything I've said and say 'yes' to me... and wink. I want to f'in go crazy with you...drive you nuts."

Hey Gerhardt ole boy. How d... (Below threshold)

Hey Gerhardt ole boy. How does it feel to be in the same boat as Howeird Dean and Algore?

Heck ya! I wanna hit 'em w... (Below threshold)

Heck ya! I wanna hit 'em with everything we've got. How many of them nucular missiles would it take to show 'em the real will o' God? I've been talking to him, and he told me "drop the hammer, Bushie!"

"Karl, wasn't Captain Picca... (Below threshold)

"Karl, wasn't Captain Piccard and those other X-Men people supposed to be here by now?"

"Yes Gerhart, I've had the ... (Below threshold)

"Yes Gerhart, I've had the pleasure of the aquaintance of some great leaders, unfortunately, you're not one of them. Have a nice retirement."

The Phrase that Pays is "KG... (Below threshold)

The Phrase that Pays is "KGOP plays more rock with less talk!"

Yea, this line in the speec... (Below threshold)

Yea, this line in the speech, "...mastication of Ms. Miers' misstating myriad must..." Are you kidding? I'll Peter Piper your ass!

Hell-OH Chancellor Schroede... (Below threshold)

Hell-OH Chancellor Schroeder – OH Gosh! I’m sorry, I forgot you’re a looser! Say, while I gottcha on the phone Gearhead do you have Merkel’s number?

"Hello, and welcome to Movi... (Below threshold)
No One of Consequence:

"Hello, and welcome to MoviePhone"

"Sorry Monica, Bill no long... (Below threshold)

"Sorry Monica, Bill no longer lives here. Uh, no I don't want to undressed."

"Bonejur. I was trying to g... (Below threshold)
Charles Versteege:

"Bonejur. I was trying to get the Paris Hilton. Who's this?"

"Paris Hilton. Who's this?"

"You win this round, Krazy ... (Below threshold)

"You win this round, Krazy Glue..."

The hell you say, Mom! You... (Below threshold)

The hell you say, Mom! You actually got that "Cleveland Steamer" reference?

Actual Caption: The Preside... (Below threshold)

Actual Caption: The President offers congratulations to Germany's new Chancellor.

Mainstream Press Caption: Bushie, on vacation again to avoid the miasma of corruption swirling around his 2nd alleged term, sitting behind a mockup of a real desk in a mockup of the real Oval Office, is seen here smashing a telephone receiver against his face trying to activate it, ignoring and looking away from the small, numbered buttons that most persons of normal intelligence recognize as the proper means of dialing a modern telephone. It is believed that just off camera is convicted baby-killer, correction, naughty presidential advisor Karl Rove, who was prompting the idiot Bushitler to pretend to correctly operate the telephone to help lower his: "Agree that the President is too stupid to operate a telephone" poll numbers of MoveOn.org member unregistered unlikely voters recently touted on every network's nightly newscast and morning show as well as on the headline of every major newspaper, but the coaching is obviously not going well and appears to be an obvious attempt to cover up for Tom DeLay's mounting pile of heaped up incriminating, damning, indictments that are just piling up as the stench of corruption fills the GOP offices in Washington or possibly to draw attention away from the clearly-doomed-to-fail democracy experiment in Iraq.

---There, I feel better.

Thank you for the flowers, ... (Below threshold)

Thank you for the flowers, Harriet. It is always a pleasure looking deeply into your heart.

Just tell the pizza deliver... (Below threshold)

Just tell the pizza delivery driver that it's the big White building with all the dope smoking hippies protesting outside!

"Thanks for the flowers, Th... (Below threshold)

"Thanks for the flowers, Thorn, but I'm afraid I still can't let you use the White house for a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show"

"Well Mr Moore, It is a kin... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Well Mr Moore, It is a kind offer but I really dont want be a star in your next movie."
"Hillary we would love for you to bring back the White House momentos you borrowed but I think it will be a bit premature to start measuring the drapes.
Karl, are you really sure this plan with Harriet is gonna work out as well as the others? I know, I know, just trust you. Okay Karl, we will release a statement that she wont withdraw under any circumstances.

"Well, I'll be durned!! Th... (Below threshold)

"Well, I'll be durned!! This is an oval office!! Now I get it!!"

"Hewitt, the check's in the... (Below threshold)

"Hewitt, the check's in the mail. You've done good. For the next opening on the court, I'm going to nominate Laura and I want you to play up her career as a librarian." He listens and nods. "Yeah, I realize it will cost me triple your going rate. Keep up the good work!"

I really love Hugh Hewitt but I couldn't resist...

"Yeah dad, you'd think afte... (Below threshold)

"Yeah dad, you'd think after successsfully running several businesses, kicking the ass of their favorite Texas Democrat to be Governor and opening fresh cans of whupass in two Presidential elections the Dems would figure out the whole "Dumbass Act" was staged..."

Banging sound? What banging... (Below threshold)

Banging sound? What banging sound? ....Oh! That!
Thats just Harriet's head hitting the bottom of the desktop...

"President Bush moments bef... (Below threshold)

"President Bush moments before hosting Weekend Update"

Alberto, Dont worry, the fi... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Alberto, Dont worry, the fix is in I tell you. Harriet will withdraw her name due to health reasons and after what I have put the base through they will welcome you with open arms.

“I don't get what the... (Below threshold)

“I don't get what the base so dang upset about...  I thought they knew when I promised them a strict constructionist, that what I really meant was compassionate constructionist.  Ok, time for damage control...  let's leak some reports that she's been havin' the stigmata.  That would make her sound really super-religious, right?”

President Bush watches Chau... (Below threshold)

President Bush watches Chauncey Gardner interview on TV.

"Yes, I got them harriet...... (Below threshold)

"Yes, I got them harriet... yes, roses are my favorite too."

"why did I call Condi? Well... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"why did I call Condi? Well Rove tells met the lost Foo-Kowi indians are in grave danger, He said I should call the State Department and ask Where the Foo-Kowi?

"So Senator Clinton how was... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"So Senator Clinton how was your fishing trip? . . . You say you've got a Sucker on the line?"

"Sorry,John, but it is a bi... (Below threshold)

"Sorry,John, but it is a bit early to offer anyone my endorsement for '08, no matter what Teddy might have been up to."

Knock, knock, who’s ... (Below threshold)

Knock, knock, who’s there?

Knock, knock, who’s there?<... (Below threshold)

Knock, knock, who’s there?

Southern Cal +12 points? So... (Below threshold)

Southern Cal +12 points? Sounds good, I'll take Notre Dame in six games.

"Oh! I thought the song sai... (Below threshold)
sammy small:

"Oh! I thought the song said to call Jenna at 867-5309.

Hello is this the Bunny Ran... (Below threshold)

Hello is this the Bunny Ranch?
I would like to make reservations for a party of 12.

Teddy Kennedy, Dingy Harry and the rest of the Democrats on the Senate Judicary Committee will be arriving on November 2.

Oh BTW is there a river near there?

Well don’t let Teddy take one of the girls out for a midnight drive

"Yeah, is this the presiden... (Below threshold)

"Yeah, is this the president of the network? Yeah, well, stage this bitch!!" click

"No Daddy, I still can't be... (Below threshold)

"No Daddy, I still can't believe it either, but they ain't throwed me out yet!"

"Hey Turd Blossom, it's me!... (Below threshold)

"Hey Turd Blossom, it's me! Just got off the phone with Dobson about Miers. Well yeah, he bought it...who do you think told him SpongeBob is gay?!"

Wait a second Laura I need ... (Below threshold)

Wait a second Laura I need to fart..... Ahhhhh thats better.... Karl come over here for a second, I got something for you.... Heh,heh,heh

"A computer beat me at ches... (Below threshold)

"A computer beat me at chess once. But, it was no match for me at kick boxing. Heh, heh."

Hi, AOL tech support? I pu... (Below threshold)

Hi, AOL tech support? I put the free CD you sent me in my computer and clicked on the icon and this counter popped up with a little radioactive symbol next to it. It's counting down. So is it installing?

Call Chef Sara to cater my ... (Below threshold)

Call Chef Sara to cater my impeachment party!!!!

Crow De Burgo...

1 roadkill crow Texas style
2 ounces butter, melted
2 ounces half-and-half
1/4 teaspoon garlic paste
1/8 teaspoon oregano
1/8 teaspoon sweet basil
1/2 ounce sauterne wine


"Hello, Moe's Tavern? Yes, ... (Below threshold)

"Hello, Moe's Tavern? Yes, I'm looking for Amanda Hugginkiss... oh, shoot I just screwed it up!"


"KBBL's gonna gimme somethin' stupid!... Oh, sorry, Mr. Putin. I'm trying to win an elephant, long story..."


"Why, yes, Mr. Rather, I swear to you here and now, live on the air, this is really and truly the President and I am resigning effective tomorrow... um, can you hold on a second? Baba-Boey is on the other line..."


"I have a call from who? Who the hell is Spoonie Luv???"


"Why yes, my refrigerator is running, why do you ask?"

President Bush thanks Sadda... (Below threshold)

President Bush thanks Saddam Hussein for the roses he sent, but informs him that there is really nothing he can do about the trial starting next week. Hussein takes the news poorly.

Pardon, me?.. Who'... (Below threshold)
Steve Crickmore:

Pardon, me?.. Who's speaking? Karl, is that you? No, I don't think I can pardon every Tom, Dick and you, Scary. Sure, I know you're all my cronies. And you can judge a man by the friends he keeps. But, I'll have to speak to Harriet about that. Harriet? Damn, where did she go?

"Hi, is this Leslie Stahl? ... (Below threshold)

"Hi, is this Leslie Stahl? Great, listen. Since my setup with those troops went so well, let me fax you a list of questions to ask me on 60 Minutes. And remember, during the story you want to try real hard to pretend that you're happy that democracy has come to Iraq..."

.."$50 on SMU and the point... (Below threshold)

.."$50 on SMU and the points, and I'll take the Cowboys to cover for $50..."

"Hey Dick, I've got some gr... (Below threshold)

"Hey Dick, I've got some great news, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance..."

"Saddam! How's it going? ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Saddam! How's it going?
Yeah I know your trial starts soon. Where was the gang of 14 during the Senate vote on the war? Well I see if I can get John McCain to come see you and you can ask him. I mean we know he will do anything for a photo op. No, I cant do any better than that!. Not you too! Look Harriet Mier's credentials are as plain as the WMD on your face.! Have a nice trial towelhead!!"

"Yeah, uh-huh, that's right... (Below threshold)

"Yeah, uh-huh, that's right...Harriet! (laughing) Is that a hoot or what? Dang, it's good to be the President."

Karl, now that grand jury t... (Below threshold)

Karl, now that grand jury thing is over with, could you and Dick Cheney set up that machine to start an earthquake under the office of Ronnie Earle?


I don’t care how you do it, just do it and blame it on Hillary.

"Hello is this the head of ... (Below threshold)

"Hello is this the head of Nick at Nite?... Yeah, President Bush here.

Listen, I know you don't normally take requests but I would consider it a peronal favor if you could play that episode of Three's Company where they have that big misunderstanding but everything works out in the end.

I see. Umm-hmm. I see. Right.

Gosh I feel silly. Let's just pretend this call never happened ok?"

(With apologies to the Big ... (Below threshold)

(With apologies to the Big Bopper and "Chantilly Lace")

Helllooo baby, yeah, this is the Big W speaking
Oh you sweet thing
Do I what?
Will I what?
Oh baby, you know what I like

To choose my lawyer chick as my Supreme pick
Forget about Janice Rogers Brown
Though my base may squawk, perhaps some even balk
They wouldn't dare to vote you down
Of you they've never heard, so they must trust my word
Because you are my crony they will call you phony
I'll just tell Lott and Frist that you are evangelist
You're my girl, oh baby you're the one I like

What's that Harriet?
You say I'm great, so you I should nominate
But you ain't got noooooooo priors, Miers
(Heh-heh-heh) Oh alright baby, you know what I like

My refrigerator is running ... (Below threshold)

My refrigerator is running again? Which way did it go this time?

Bush: No I don't think "Ama... (Below threshold)

Bush: No I don't think "Amanda Holdme" is here but I'll check.

Hey, is Amanda Holdme here?
I need Amanda Holdme right now!
Rove: [off camera] Moron.

"So I said to Jerry that he... (Below threshold)

"So I said to Jerry that he really should send his daughter to a different school but his wife, Shirley, was so set on that one but it's such a terrible shame... oh yes, I know... well you know how girls can be these days... sorry Fred but I really have to go, I promised Tom that I'd tell him the shocking news I heard yesterday from Mavis about the Patterson's son... no I don't know why they let him get away with it either, say hello to the kids from me. Ta-taa!"

Margaret, get me Dan Rather... (Below threshold)

Margaret, get me Dan Rather. Oh, and turn on the Mary Mapes voice scrambler. I'm feeling a little mean right now.

Hello. Karl? Hey I need y... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Hello. Karl? Hey I need your help again. I need you to make up with official looking dirt on Harriet Miers, backdate it to oh about 1985 or so, yeah the middle of the Reagan years. Then send a faxed copy of it to Bill Burkett in an plain brown envelope. Yeah the same way you did that national guard stuff. You may want to do the same thing with Tom Delay and Ronnie Earl just to help him out a bit. Yeah yeah send it to that news chick in the canoe. The press wont think anything of it. All they have to see is it is a way to get at me so they wont do any fact checking at all. By then it will be too late and they will have Dan Rather doing a comeback reporting breaking news. Okay Karl you know what to do.

"The only way I'll appear ... (Below threshold)

"The only way I'll appear on 60 minutes if Harry Reasner does the interveiw."

"Pete, I want 25Gs on the C... (Below threshold)
reds fan:

"Pete, I want 25Gs on the Cards...."

Scene: A week prior to nom... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Scene: A week prior to nominating Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court President Bush receives a strange phone call.

"Hello. Yes, I have made up mind. It is going to be Janice Rogers Brown. I understand. She is not the one I am looking for. She should go about her business. The one I am looking for is Harriet Miers. Of Course. I understand. After I hang up I will forget that I ever received a phone call from Harriet's twin brother."

Photo of Harriet Miers.

Photo of her twin brother


Hey Scott. How's it going?... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Hey Scott. How's it going? Hey you know we got this new get to know Harriet campaign kicking off this week and I need to know the talking points.

Lets see. She worked with me for 10 years. Got it.
She was first woman in charge of the Texas Bar. Got it.
A lot of Supreme Court justices havent been judges in the past. Got it.
Hey Scott these are the same things we have been saying and they smell like last month's BBQ. You got anything different for me.
Her middle name isnt Day. Hey that is a new one. Good job. Keep up the good work.

Your program'll double my I... (Below threshold)

Your program'll double my IQ or no money back?
Sounds good to me!

Update: <a... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced (click the link to read the winning entries). Entries are now closed.






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