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An affront to my masculinity

Back in the 70's, when the feminist movement really began to take hold (at least as I perceived it), one of the battle cries of the feminists was that advertising aimed at women was intended to make women feel bad about themselves. Everything was based on women feeling inadequate, insecure, inferior, and otherwise unacceptable, unless they used the latest product to improve themselves.

I never much respected that. I figured that if women were really as strong as they said they were, then they shouldn't let themselves be pushed around so transparently.

Of late, though, I've had to reconsider. They might have been on to something.

The airwaves nowadays are filled with ads aimed at men now, and not in good ways. Hair replacement, hair coloring, exercise programs, health supplements. And let's not forget the Three Musketeers of Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis, all eagerly awaiting to confess our frail flesh and surrender to their neurochemical nirvana.

And let us never forget Bob, who wants to share his Enzyte with everyone cursed with manhoods measured in mere inches.

It's a brutal development, and it's one that we should look carefully at -- and reject.

All those in favor of beating Bob to death with long, firm, hunks of wood (molded into suitably-phallic baseball bats), say "aye."

Comments (16)

Good advertising works grea... (Below threshold)

Good advertising works great at reaching those with acknowledged and latent desires... but is not so good at penetrating less receptive target groups.

I would have thought that being the fine specimen you are, you wouldn't be bothered in the least about advertising targeted at men in less fine shape... any more than self-confident women would be bothered by the advertising aimed at their less-blessed sisters.

Aye!... (Below threshold)


I don't really have any des... (Below threshold)

I don't really have any desire to Kill Bob, but I do have this overwhelming desire to wipe that smug look off of his face.

AYE!... (Below threshold)


I don't really want to kill... (Below threshold)

I don't really want to kill Bob, but I will be willing to utterly destroy whoever it is that keeps whistling all the time. Gah!

Don't hate the player, hate... (Below threshold)

Don't hate the player, hate the game. Bob's getting some serious action in - just look at the grin that his WIFE has.

Besides, the ads themselves are brilliant. The Japanese businessman ad for Enzyte is terrific, as is Bob the Office Santa.

Seriously, tho - Bob is usually seen only on ESPN, FoxSports or Spike. I'm really not all that concerned about the deleterious effect Bob will have on the psyches of men across the nation.

Besides, I'm a DirecTV customer, and every time the system goes to local break I get blasted with a 60-second or 90-second Bowflex ad. Feh.

"Beat him to death?" No.</p... (Below threshold)

"Beat him to death?" No.

Impale him on said stakes of wood? Most certainly.

Aye, and let's not forget t... (Below threshold)

Aye, and let's not forget the Burger king peeping tom.

aye... (Below threshold)


Jay Tea, I think you left o... (Below threshold)

Jay Tea, I think you left out half the target group, women.
The grin on Mrs. Bob's face is a Las Vegas style billboard to the wives of the "less fortunate" men out there.

I say let Bob live and kill the makers of the kotex,tampon and Outback Steakhouse adds and their fake Aussie actors.

The problem with beating Bo... (Below threshold)

The problem with beating Bob to death is, with his new found confiodence and love of life...

He'll enjoy it.

No...better to tie him down and remove the offending lump of meat that grants him his infernal, superior, smug smile and beat him with THAT.

//you figure it out

Bob...I hate that bastard. ... (Below threshold)

Bob...I hate that bastard. Pushin' his "natural male enhancement" like that's whats wrong with unhappy middle-aged men. And it's not like those of us with large members live charmed lives. On the contrary, you've always gotta be wary about how you sit, what kinds of pants you buy, and the ever dreaded shallow toilet bowl. Bob is a braggart, and a fool. I join you in calling for his death. Death to Bob, and death to his loathesome smirk.


Aye!... (Below threshold)


==> Joke from SLING BLADE ... (Below threshold)

==> Joke from SLING BLADE goes here.

now People, Can I help it i... (Below threshold)

now People, Can I help it if my neighbor loses water pressure when I wave at him, or that my bathing suit can't stay tied on, or that the water was VERY warm as to not affect significant shrinkage, and My wife does like to make drinks when I get home. Besides, I think Santa is a good image to help promote the season of the holidays. And do you know my friend was actually realizing was that his wife loves him no matter what when he was reading the brochure.

So don't blame me for my terrible addiction to a once a day enhancement. I have had to buy new clothing, I have trouble peeing, and most importantly, I tend to shift to the left more noticably.. and it hurts.

Don't bash on him. Bob's ju... (Below threshold)
Mark S.:

Don't bash on him. Bob's just living large and steppin' easy!






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