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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) greets people as she arrives for U.S. President George W. Bush's the State of the Union address at the U.S. Capitol in Washington January 31, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Reed

Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™:

» Stuck On Stupid linked with Are The Polls Pillorying Hillary's Electability?

» The Daily Brief: A Military Blog For All The World To See And Read linked with Caption This One (060203)

Comments (156)

"He has our prrrrecious!"</... (Below threshold)

"He has our prrrrecious!"

Hillary sees her shadow it'... (Below threshold)
Nick Bank:

Hillary sees her shadow it's 2 1/2 years of Republican rule.

...that rabbit's got a vici... (Below threshold)

...that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

(apologies to Monty Python)

Hillary's face always did t... (Below threshold)

Hillary's face always did that when using her echo-location superpowers but she did keep the flying insects to a minimum in D.C.

"...and all you groundhogs ... (Below threshold)

"...and all you groundhogs out there, pulled from your home in the dead of winter for some good-ole-boy folk law...you know what I mean (knuck, knuck, knuck)."

Breaking...Hillary... (Below threshold)


Hillary Clinton cast to play "The Joker" in the next Batman movie.

"Ok, Ok, I'll put the silve... (Below threshold)

"Ok, Ok, I'll put the silver cross away, Senator Clinton."

Tazers, not just for self-d... (Below threshold)

Tazers, not just for self-defense anymore.

"Sorry Senator Clinton, but... (Below threshold)

"Sorry Senator Clinton, but I had to check, they said you had pretty big balls there."

"I wish Lewinsky would have... (Below threshold)

"I wish Lewinsky would have just clamped down like this."

"Pardon me Senator, but all... (Below threshold)

"Pardon me Senator, but all I said was my husband really knows how to enjoy a cigar."

"Then I whistled through my... (Below threshold)

"Then I whistled through my teeth and yelled ; Bill leave those women alone and come inside right now!"

New Summer Blockbuster comi... (Below threshold)

New Summer Blockbuster coming to a theatre near you.
President Evil

"You're beginning to freak ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"You're beginning to freak me out Ma'am, now turn your had back around to your front."

"Your standing on my foot a... (Below threshold)

"Your standing on my foot and I ain't just a whistling Dixie!"

You will listen to me young... (Below threshold)

You will listen to me young Skywalker and come to the dark side.

"Bring it on BITCH!"... (Below threshold)

"Bring it on BITCH!"

"You can't handle the truth... (Below threshold)

"You can't handle the truth"!

There once was a man from H... (Below threshold)

There once was a man from Hope,
and a partner with whom he thought he could cope.
But can you blame him that day,
when he started to stray?
Either that, or look for a rope.

"And that cute little squir... (Below threshold)

"And that cute little squirrel in the back yard looked just like this."

Now staring Hillary! Chu... (Below threshold)

Now staring Hillary! Chucky's evil sister!

"Well, we intend to take ba... (Below threshold)
bill j.:

"Well, we intend to take back part of that tax break and use it for the common good!"

I just squeal when you folk... (Below threshold)

I just squeal when you folks say you will vote for me to rule Animal Farm.

Omitted from her official w... (Below threshold)

Omitted from her official web site:

"Senator Clinton, in her unending quest to expand her knowledge about health care issues, undergoes a prostate exam."


"Guess where Bill put that ... (Below threshold)

"Guess where Bill put that middle-class tax cut he promised?"

"A census taker once tried ... (Below threshold)

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Senator Hillary Clinton (D-... (Below threshold)

Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY), shown here responding to an anti-war protester a fraction of a second before unleashing the most foul, profane curse ever uttered. DC Police estimate the resulting damage at over $3B while the loss of life is still unknown. Senator Clinton is currently in custody and has made no public statement beyond uttering, over and over again, "I am not a witch, I am not a witch!"

As part of her health care ... (Below threshold)

As part of her health care initiative, Senator Clinton demonstrates for an audience the heartbreaking results of too much hot air coupled with too many clenched orifices.

"Hmmm, now just where did I... (Below threshold)

"Hmmm, now just where did I set down, Ted Kennedy's urine sample."

And I will strike down upon... (Below threshold)

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who oppose me in 2008!

Queen of the Dem'd... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Queen of the Dem'd

"Give me the Ssssorcerer's ... (Below threshold)

"Give me the Ssssorcerer's Sssstone, Harry Potter!"

"Sorry I'm late with your m... (Below threshold)

"Sorry I'm late with your meds Senator"

Maybe we were too hard on B... (Below threshold)

Maybe we were too hard on Bill....

No!...Vince is......A..live... (Below threshold)

No!...Vince is......A..live??????!!!!!!!

Here, ladies and gentlemen ... (Below threshold)

Here, ladies and gentlemen is the Upper Class Twit of the year!

Uh oh. Full moon. Break out... (Below threshold)
D. Carter:

Uh oh. Full moon. Break out the wolfbane.

Hillary showing the effect ... (Below threshold)

Hillary showing the effect on her cheek after doing a lewinsky on bill.

"...and Hillary, I know Gee... (Below threshold)

"...and Hillary, I know Geena Davis, and you're no Geena Davis."

"Chelsea Sold Seashells By ... (Below threshold)

"Chelsea Sold Seashells By The Seashore!"

"He f****ed another one...I... (Below threshold)

"He f****ed another one...I'm sorry, Hill."


"I'm sorry, but it's been f... (Below threshold)

"I'm sorry, but it's been frozen like this ever since I took a wrong turn and accidentally walked in on Dick Cheney in the Senate men's room."

As seen here, vampires ofte... (Below threshold)

As seen here, vampires often attempt to hyponotize their victims before attacking them.

Sir, I know the grimacing d... (Below threshold)

Sir, I know the grimacing during the SOTU didn't work. And I agree that the eye rolling and head shaking wasn't a good idea. And I know we didn't get it right this year with smile and eye rolling. So I know my facial poses triangulation has been a bit off. But sir, I will stake my career on the fact that this look is not the one to propel Hillary into the White House in 2008.

I'll tax you my pretty and ... (Below threshold)
Brian the Adequate:

I'll tax you my pretty and your little dog Toto too!

When a Liberal's Head Explo... (Below threshold)

When a Liberal's Head Explodes

Why, yes, I've had some wor... (Below threshold)

Why, yes, I've had some work done....how did you know?

WHO SAID I WAS WEENED ON A ... (Below threshold)
Charles Bannerman:


"So I hawked up a gob like ... (Below threshold)

"So I hawked up a gob like this:" *hawwwwwwwwwwwk* "and spit it in Bill's face after that Monica thing."

after mentioning how Bill's... (Below threshold)

after mentioning how Bill's unit bends to the right, Hillary shows the effect on her cheek.

I will be ... (Below threshold)

I will be the first chipmunk President.

Ignoring the warnings on th... (Below threshold)

Ignoring the warnings on the ACME Do-it-yourself Botox kit, Hillary Clinton (Socialist-NY) found out the hard way that one should not attempt to smile during the procedure.

The Arkansas/New York Horro... (Below threshold)

The Arkansas/New York Horror

Jumping Jesus Christ, that'... (Below threshold)

Jumping Jesus Christ, that's a scary picture!

Botox anyone?... (Below threshold)

Botox anyone?

DNC Factoid: Only Hillary c... (Below threshold)
Lindy R. Dole:

DNC Factoid: Only Hillary can hit the high notes during the queefing of the Star Spangled Banner

You see, by holding our fac... (Below threshold)

You see, by holding our faces like this during the President's speech, we can make him mess up, then when the camera pans to us, we will look surprised without changing our faces. Brilliant, no?

The Senator's handlers were... (Below threshold)

The Senator's handlers were distraught when they realized that no one had briefed the boss on what auditioning for "Suicide Girls" entailed.

Getting on in years, Frank ... (Below threshold)

Getting on in years, Frank Oz mistakes the Senator with the rolling eyes and silly grin for one of his Muppets.

"Although generally thought... (Below threshold)

"Although generally thought of as a centrist, Hillary is shown her supporting the barking moonbat wing of the Democratic party."

I want this guy dead! I wan... (Below threshold)

I want this guy dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the ground! I want to go there in the middle of the night and piss on his ashes! --- oh wait, did I say that outloud?

You wanna know how you do it? Here's how, they pull a chad, you pull a ballot box. He sends one of yours to the courts, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Bush! Damn it!!! I wasn't supposed to say that outloud...

"Senator, if that's your 'O... (Below threshold)

"Senator, if that's your 'O-Face,' I think I understand why Bill spent so much time catting around."

"Ju...Ju...Ju...Just wait t... (Below threshold)

"Ju...Ju...Ju...Just wait till I am President"

One face lift too many...</... (Below threshold)

One face lift too many...

Suddenly, the bean burrito ... (Below threshold)

Suddenly, the bean burrito made its presence known.

"I'm...... being....... sca... (Below threshold)

"I'm...... being....... scanned......"
(one can only hope)

Wildlife experts point to t... (Below threshold)

Wildlife experts point to the bulging venom glands in the cheeks and curling lips as a sure sign the North America Socialist Liberal is preparing to spray poison on yet another victim.

"Listen bitch, I need the L... (Below threshold)

"Listen bitch, I need the Lesbian vote, now kiss me!"

Proof there is no atmospher... (Below threshold)

Proof there is no atmosphere on Mars...as Hillary's head explodes!

Hillary explodes as she is ... (Below threshold)

Hillary explodes as she is told that it is true, Bill is related the the Bushes!

NICE GUY HILLARY: The man ... (Below threshold)

NICE GUY HILLARY: The man you just killed just got released from prison. He got caught at a company warehouse full of hot items. He could have fucking walked. All he had to do was say my dad's name, but he didn't; he kept his fucking mouth shut. And he did his fucking time, and he did it like a man. He did four years for us. So, Mr. Orange, you're telling me this very good friend of mine, who did four years for my father, who, in four years, never made a deal, no matter what they dangled in front of him, you're telling me that now that this man is free and we're making good on our commitment to him, he's just going to decide, out of the fucking blue, to rip us off? Why don't you tell me what really happened?

Going the extra mile to eas... (Below threshold)

Going the extra mile to ease racial tension, Senator Clinton breaks out her showstopping rendition of "Rocky Raccoon".

"Don't make me turn this ca... (Below threshold)

"Don't make me turn this campaign around~"

'I'll get you-and your litt... (Below threshold)

'I'll get you-and your little dog, too!'

Photographic evidence that ... (Below threshold)
Master Shake:

Photographic evidence that the rumors of a top-secret Nazi chipmunk-human hybrid program were accurate.

"& I'll Huff, and I'll Puff... (Below threshold)

"& I'll Huff, and I'll Puff, & I'll blow Condi's campaign away!"

"...and when Bill says open... (Below threshold)

"...and when Bill says open your mouth and close your eyes, and I will give you a big surprize....Why I just go like this...."

"And then I showed Bill my ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"And then I showed Bill my 'O' face..."

"This is exactly how Monica... (Below threshold)

"This is exactly how Monica looked when I caught Bill and her in the oral, er, oval office", Hillary tells Oprah.

Diana, sweetheart, if you g... (Below threshold)
Charles V:

Diana, sweetheart, if you go public about our relationship, I swear those little games we play in your castle will become real!

"...And he had this look... (Below threshold)

"...And he had this look on his face the whole fucking time while reading that stupid Pet Goat book! I mean Jesus Christ!!!"

I was going to submit one, ... (Below threshold)

I was going to submit one, I really was, but the very first one (by solo) crushes mine. I realllly must learn not to be sipping on a drink when I click on "Comments" for these contests.


Senator Clinton speaking to... (Below threshold)

Senator Clinton speaking to an aide, immediately after realizing that what she hoped would slip out silently came out as a squeaker.

"We all float down here! Y... (Below threshold)

"We all float down here! YOU'LL FLOAT, TOO!!!!"

(with apologies to Stephen King and Tim Curry)

My face! I'm....melting...... (Below threshold)

My face! I'm....melting....

"My dear girl, don't flatte... (Below threshold)

"My dear girl, don't flatter yourself. What I did this evening was for Bill and country. You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?"

Sheeeet, girlfriend!<... (Below threshold)

Sheeeet, girlfriend!

You know I ain't no playa hata!

Now playing at your local t... (Below threshold)

Now playing at your local theatre:

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit,

starring Hillary Clinton

"Warriors, Come Out and Pla... (Below threshold)

"Warriors, Come Out and Play-eee-yaay!"

"Can...you...dig....it?"</p... (Below threshold)


Thuffering Thuckotash!... (Below threshold)

Thuffering Thuckotash!

"Fish heads, fish heads, ro... (Below threshold)

"Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads..."

JEEESIS CHR!ST, I hate reli... (Below threshold)

JEEESIS CHR!ST, I hate religious people.

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)... (Below threshold)

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) relaxes with the crowd after a stump speech before the Cleft Palate Foundation.

"J-J-J-J-J-J-J-ustice Alito... (Below threshold)
Mighty Dwight:

"J-J-J-J-J-J-J-ustice Alito....there, I said it"

OK, you got me. I'm a MAN B... (Below threshold)

OK, you got me. I'm a MAN BABY!

Now, could you please let go of my balls!

"It's called 'FemiNazi Mudp... (Below threshold)

"It's called 'FemiNazi Mudpie'. You probably took a bite from the good side."

Solo wins! The first entry ... (Below threshold)

Solo wins! The first entry too! (sorry, but I got to lobby for that one)

What a hag

"Puleeease, can I join <a h... (Below threshold)

"Puleeease, can I join Alvin & the Chipmunks?"

All right you Chipmunks!
Ready to sing your song?
I'll say we are!
Let's sing it now!
Okay, Simon?
Okay, Theodore?
Okay, Alvin? Alvin? ALVIN!

Christmas, Christmas time is near,
Time for toys and time for cheer,
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast,
Want a plane that loops the loop,
Me, I want a hula hoop,
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Okay fellas, get ready.
That was very good, Simon.
Very good Theodore.
Ah, Alvin, you were a little flat, watch it.
Ah, Alvin? Alvin. ALVIN!

Want a plane that loops the loop,
I still want a hula hoop,
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please Christmas, don't be late.
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Very good, boys.
Let's sing it again!
Yeah, let's sing it again!
No, That's enough, let's not overdo it.
What do you mean not overdo it?
Overdo it?
We want to sing it again!
Now wait a minute, boys...
Why can't we sing it again?

Hillary won first prize in ... (Below threshold)

Hillary won first prize in the DNC halloween contest as the frosted haired puffer fish

Would you like fries with t... (Below threshold)

Would you like fries with that?

"No, no. Open your mouth w... (Below threshold)

"No, no. Open your mouth wider! Not your eyes! At this rate, you're not going to learn how to smile in time for the 2008 elections."

"And I'll huff, and ... (Below threshold)

"And I'll huff,
and I'll puff,

It was then that Stephanie ... (Below threshold)

It was then that Stephanie realized that none of them would leave that room alive.

"I've got to get more iodin... (Below threshold)

"I've got to get more iodine in my diet."

Here we see Senator Hillary... (Below threshold)

Here we see Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY), trying to contort her face to resemble the person she is talking to, during her attempt of the ultimate pander.

I always knew she had somet... (Below threshold)

I always knew she had something up her ass!

...at once she was confront... (Below threshold)

...at once she was confronted by a face from her past, from a night long ago. The memories of sweat and lust confined within the walls of a small dorm room flooded her mind. Suddenly, and without warning, she achieved orgasm. She knew by the looks on the faces of the others in the room that her attempt to hide it had been unsuccessful.

Quick! The kool-aid is wear... (Below threshold)

Quick! The kool-aid is wearing off!!

I know this contest is by n... (Below threshold)

I know this contest is by no means democratic, but I would agree that solo deserves this one...

This was the whistling soun... (Below threshold)

This was the whistling sound I kept making during the SOTU...

But if Bill is 41's son, "t... (Below threshold)

But if Bill is 41's son, "that would make me Dubya's SISTER-IN-LAW! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeks."

Dammit!!! I hate it when m... (Below threshold)
salsa shark:

Dammit!!! I hate it when my penis comes out in the middle of a conversation!

Pittsburg Steelers! My ass!... (Below threshold)

Pittsburg Steelers! My ass!

Chill, Hill, the camera's r... (Below threshold)

Chill, Hill, the camera's rolling!

The b*tch is packed!... (Below threshold)

The b*tch is packed!

And during his speec... (Below threshold)
jack rudd:

And during his speech did you see Bush WINK at me!?!

.... disconnect.... solo, y... (Below threshold)

.... disconnect.... solo, you're a genius! Go to the top...

Oops, my knickers are knott... (Below threshold)

Oops, my knickers are knotted a bit too tight....again...


Should've listened to Mom when she said it'd freeze like this.

Don't you say ANYTHING you ... (Below threshold)

Don't you say ANYTHING you B*tch!

"You belong in the Plantati... (Below threshold)

"You belong in the Plantation, and you know what I'm talking about!"

"I do hope you become presi... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"I do hope you become president in 2008 Dear, it'll be so good to have that handsome husband of yours back in charge again."

Suddenly, the battery opera... (Below threshold)

Suddenly, the battery operated pleasure panties went off unexpectedly.

A photographer captures Sen... (Below threshold)

A photographer captures Sen. Clinton's head just seconds before it exploded after the Alito confirmation vote. No bystanders were injured by the explosion, however, as Sen. Clinton's had contained nothing but empty promises and immaterial left-wing talking points.

"You and your friggin' ciga... (Below threshold)
Rachel Edith:

"You and your friggin' cigar jokes. Not funny then. Not funny now."

Crackin' a walnut with my a... (Below threshold)

Crackin' a walnut with my ass is a lot harder than I thought.

"What do you mean Bill got ... (Below threshold)
retierd military:

"What do you mean Bill got them to change the 25th Admendment and now he can run for a 3rd term!!!!"

"Senator, I think they inje... (Below threshold)

"Senator, I think they injected your face with Buttochs, not Botox."

A Horse's ass is a Horse's ... (Below threshold)

A Horse's ass is a Horse's ass,
and noone can talk to a Horse's ass,
Unless, of course, that Horse's ass is.....

Accidentally swallowing her... (Below threshold)

Accidentally swallowing her own chilling rhetoric, Hillary suffers sudden and debilitating brain freeze.

Hillary Clinton shows the b... (Below threshold)

Hillary Clinton shows the bug-eyed style that got her second place in the Nancy Pelosi lookalike contest

Dick Cheney! Dick Cheney c... (Below threshold)

Dick Cheney! Dick Cheney couldn't find my ass with his dick even if he was standing right behi-

"No, no, no, the stake g... (Below threshold)

"No, no, no, the stake goes in her heart, not her ass".

As an aside, considering the way the MSM always looks for the worst pics of conservatives, wouldn't it be great if the Wash Times used this one for every story about Hillary!?

Will the real Hillary Clint... (Below threshold)
Conservativr operative behind enemy lines in NY State:

Will the real Hillary Clinton please stand up.

...and 'pop' out came the g... (Below threshold)

...and 'pop' out came the golf ball. 46 feet of water hose. My personal best.

it's not all in the suck, y... (Below threshold)

it's not all in the suck, you gotta have the stare and when you get that, the chrome will come right off.

Hillary could suck start a ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Hillary could suck start a Harley.

So this is what happens whe... (Below threshold)

So this is what happens when diarrhea of the mouth meets constipation of the brain.

I vant to drink your BLOOD!... (Below threshold)

I vant to drink your BLOOD!

My surgeon didn't explain t... (Below threshold)

My surgeon didn't explain that to remove my wrinkles, he was stitching my cheek to my gums!

I superglued my eyelids ope... (Below threshold)

I superglued my eyelids open to avoid any more embarrassing incidents like the inauguration.

Sigh,...Bill never asked me... (Below threshold)
Mike Niblock:

Sigh,...Bill never asked me for blowjobs.

Liberals riot after a Danis... (Below threshold)

Liberals riot after a Danish newspaper's depiction of their prophet Hillary.

Allah Akbar!!!!!<br ... (Below threshold)

Allah Akbar!!!!!

"Senator Hillary Rodham Cli... (Below threshold)

"Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (Moonbat-NY) responds to a question regarding her recent drop in the polls as she arrives for U.S. President George W. Bush's the State of the Union address at the U.S. Capitol in Washington January 31, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Reed"

I knew about Monica, but I ... (Below threshold)

I knew about Monica, but I DID NOT know about George H.W. Bush.

I knew about Monica, but I ... (Below threshold)

I knew about Monica, but I DID NOT know about George H.W. Bush.

"If you ever mention... (Below threshold)

"If you ever mention my silence regarding women's and gay rights in the Muslim world... I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING LUNGS OUT!"

"How dare you say my husban... (Below threshold)

"How dare you say my husband was among the frogs you've had to kiss!"

Chatty face. Chatty face. ... (Below threshold)

Chatty face. Chatty face. I have chatty face.

Do you think botox would he... (Below threshold)

Do you think botox would help me win the election? I'll do anything!

Joke shop retailers inspect... (Below threshold)

Joke shop retailers inspect wares at the 2006 Halloween Mask Expo.

"Have you seen my Monica fa... (Below threshold)

"Have you seen my Monica face?"

I am NOT a fish!... (Below threshold)

I am NOT a fish!

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.






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