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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

In this photo released by Playboy, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, poses with Paris Hilton as he celebrates his 80th birthday at the Playboy Mansion in the Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles, Saturday night, April 8, 2006. (AP Photo/Playboy, James Trevenen)

Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

Note: Last week I mentioned that their would be prizes this week. It turns out I was wrong about that. The prizes are for another contest coming next week.

Comments (80)

Emperor Palpatine sure does... (Below threshold)

Emperor Palpatine sure does get some hot chicks!

Viagra announces a new 500m... (Below threshold)
Corky Boyd:

Viagra announces a new 500mg megadose size with Hugh Hefner as it's spokesman.

Brought to you by Pfizer, m... (Below threshold)

Brought to you by Pfizer, makers of Viagra (sildenafil citrate).

"Sweety, Why I knew your gr... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Sweety, Why I knew your great grandmother when she was your age"

"I've been in Paris twice. ... (Below threshold)

"I've been in Paris twice. Once when visiting the country... and.."

Thought bubble from Hef: "E... (Below threshold)

Thought bubble from Hef: "Even *I* wouldn't do this skank."

"I've got scrotal warts old... (Below threshold)
Mr. Otis A. Block:

"I've got scrotal warts older than her..."

While democratic candidate ... (Below threshold)

While democratic candidate Al Gore voices concern over global warming, surprise candidate Hugh Heffner expressed concern over only making Paris hot. Although no ice caps are repordly involved he's known as saying, "It's awfully wet down there."

Hugh: "Paris is soooo dumb,... (Below threshold)

Hugh: "Paris is soooo dumb, she'll make a perfect playmate."

Heffner, who made a name fo... (Below threshold)

Heffner, who made a name for himself, meets Hilton, who destroyed a name by herself.

The king of the space betwe... (Below threshold)

The king of the space between the box spring and mattress celebrates eighty years of superficiality with some walking vaginas.

"She's promised me her gran... (Below threshold)

"She's promised me her granddaughter's hand in marriage!"

Celebrities attend the laun... (Below threshold)

Celebrities attend the launch party of "Attention Whores" magazine.

Joint thought bubble:... (Below threshold)

Joint thought bubble:
"Thank God I don't have to do her/him!"

Headline: Fossil found near... (Below threshold)

Headline: Fossil found near Paris

Heff "Hey Paris, I remember... (Below threshold)

Heff "Hey Paris, I remember when you could treat that type of VD with Penicillin alone!"

Paris: "Oooh leather. Oh H... (Below threshold)

Paris: "Oooh leather. Oh Heff, how did you know I was into leather?"
Heff: "Hey dumbass, that's my skin."

Paris Hilton, recently cast... (Below threshold)

Paris Hilton, recently cast to portray Mother Theresa by Indian film director T. Rajeevnath, at a pre-production party with co-star Hugh Hefner, who will portray Pope John Paul II.

"Somebody remind me -- what... (Below threshold)

"Somebody remind me -- what am I supposed to do with one of these?"

Hi, sweetie. I used to be f... (Below threshold)

Hi, sweetie. I used to be friends with your father.

Hefner chosen to replace Ni... (Below threshold)

Hefner chosen to replace Nicole Richie in next season's Simple Life.

"My daughter was right. I a... (Below threshold)

"My daughter was right. I am getting desperate."

Heff thought bubble: I'll b... (Below threshold)

Heff thought bubble: I'll bet no one else has a lifelike blow-up doll of Paris Hilton... and it's even smarter than the real thing!

"The Ore Might Be Old But I... (Below threshold)

"The Ore Might Be Old But It's Got A Few Strokes Left In It."

Both are famous for behavin... (Below threshold)

Both are famous for behaving in the public eye like the 15-year olds they both are, though one in Base 75 and the other in Base 20.

A skank in the hand, is wor... (Below threshold)

A skank in the hand, is worth 72 ugly virgins in an afterlife: why Hef will never be a suicice bomber.

No, Paris... I AM your fath... (Below threshold)

No, Paris... I AM your father!

Heff: "I've never stayed in... (Below threshold)
No One of Consequence:

Heff: "I've never stayed in a Hilton before"

A new third political party... (Below threshold)

A new third political party announced its 2008 presidential candidates who combine 'the wisdom that comes with age and the vigor that bubbles up from youth'. No decision yet on who would be on top of the ticket.

Face it, you are jealous. W... (Below threshold)

Face it, you are jealous. Who wouldn't want to hit that? Of course, I'm not sure what's in it for Hef.

Finally, a couple that repu... (Below threshold)

Finally, a couple that repulses both men and women, gay or straight. We are one step closer to a nation united, as all of America says "Eww!"

The winner of the World Sel... (Below threshold)

The winner of the World Self-Parody Contest congratulates the first runner-up.

Congratulations Old Codger ... (Below threshold)

Congratulations Old Codger ,Your the 1,000,000th customer to the wino vd lingerie brothel!

1ST PRIZE a slightly used b grade heiress!

"Wiltin' and Hilton"<... (Below threshold)

"Wiltin' and Hilton"

"And the Wizbang Weekend Ca... (Below threshold)
Rachel Edith:

"And the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ Loser gets to have dinner with these two."

So many whores, so little t... (Below threshold)

So many whores, so little time left

This is a fine example of t... (Below threshold)

This is a fine example of the Hilton Hotel chains new hot tubs private parts washer, stutters the curmudgeonly mummy! only the sanitation system needs a lot of work!

As many skanks as I've been... (Below threshold)

As many skanks as I've been with, and this one even disgusts *me*.....oh well, where's the Viagra?

Dear, are you a Gershwin fa... (Below threshold)
Jim in Cleveland:

Dear, are you a Gershwin fan? Because I think you would just love "An American in Paris."

"That $20 crack whore I scr... (Below threshold)

"That $20 crack whore I screwed last night seems classy compared to this skank."

The lives of both were buil... (Below threshold)

The lives of both were built on bedding.

Plastered with Paris.... (Below threshold)

Plastered with Paris.

Hmmm.A disgusting ... (Below threshold)


A disgusting disease-ridden reprobate has her picture taken with Hugh Hefner.

Please send a hillbilly sex... (Below threshold)

Please send a hillbilly sexual aid. Two popcicle sticks and some duct tape.

Ah, so many Casblance quote... (Below threshold)

Ah, so many Casblance quotes to change, so little time.

Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine Hefner in their beloved Paris?
Rick: She's not particularly my beloved Paris.

Rick: I wouldn't bring up Paris if I were you, it's poor salesmanship.

Hef: We'll always have Paris. Everybody. All the time.

You will never find a more ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

"Gee, I thought you were mu... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Gee, I thought you were much fatter, Senator Kennedy."

Hef always did enjoy Spr... (Below threshold)
Lindy R. Dole:

Hef always did enjoy Springtime in the Paris.

Even Hef wouldn't spend "On... (Below threshold)

Even Hef wouldn't spend "One Night in Paris."

Hef: "This picture has Wizb... (Below threshold)
Mighty Dwight:

Hef: "This picture has Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest written all over it."

When I said "give me a pict... (Below threshold)

When I said "give me a picture of a girl with three boobs" I never expected you to find one.

Nothing beats early check-i... (Below threshold)
Bob Jones:

Nothing beats early check-in privileges at the Paris Hilton!

Celebrating his 80th birthd... (Below threshold)

Celebrating his 80th birthday, Hefner jumps out of a cake at the MTV Spring Break party.

Something oldSomethi... (Below threshold)

Something old
Something new
Something furrowed
Something blew.

Hef is speechless after be... (Below threshold)

Hef is speechless after being chosen as keynote speaker at the 1st annual STD awards being held at the Playboy Mansion !

"Twenty-Three? Too old for ... (Below threshold)
Steve Doherty Jr.:

"Twenty-Three? Too old for me sweet thing; as soon as this jackass snaps this photo, grab your gear and get the hell out of my mansion!
Twenty-Three! Can you imagine?"

One night in Paris makes a ... (Below threshold)

One night in Paris makes a hard man humble.

Reporter : "Heff Heff what... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Reporter : "Heff Heff what kind of conversation could you possibly have with this young lady?"

Heffner : "The Vagina Monologues"

A photojournalism first: wa... (Below threshold)

A photojournalism first: wax on silicone.

Paris Hilton and Hugh Hefne... (Below threshold)

Paris Hilton and Hugh Hefner pose together after each received the coveted "Most Recognized Grotto" award from the National Cave Explorers Society.

The Portrait of Dorian Hefn... (Below threshold)

The Portrait of Dorian Hefner.

And then Boogie delivered t... (Below threshold)

And then Boogie delivered the famous line,
"We will always have Paris."

Hef: Sigh, have I really su... (Below threshold)

Hef: Sigh, have I really sunk this low? I started Playboy, not Maxim.

Following their silent deli... (Below threshold)

Following their silent delivery, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pose for photographers outside the L. Ron Hubbard Maternity Ward.

"It's good ta be da king."<... (Below threshold)

"It's good ta be da king."

The smell of Codfish and a ... (Below threshold)

The smell of Codfish and a fully loaded Depends hung heavily in the air that night.

Headline:"Hefner S... (Below threshold)


"Hefner Spends 80th Birthday in Paris"

Hugh Hefner cashes in his H... (Below threshold)

Hugh Hefner cashes in his Hilton frequent guest points.

"Money Talks And B.S. Walks... (Below threshold)

"Money Talks And B.S. Walks."

"I didn't say 'and' I said ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"I didn't say 'and' I said do you want to go 'to' Bangkok?"

The Hugh Hefner Stress Test... (Below threshold)

The Hugh Hefner Stress Test

Ginko Viagra - Helps you re... (Below threshold)

Ginko Viagra - Helps you remember who the f**k you were doing. Who are you again, Sweetie?

Hef and Paris share a mome... (Below threshold)

Hef and Paris share a moment in front of the papparazzi and she gently whispers in his ear, Hef hurry up and get me out of here ! your Dentures are still stuck !

There once was a man from C... (Below threshold)

There once was a man from Chicago
With a girl who was anything but slow
So when it comes to sin
There's room at the Inn
And the pictures should be out tomorrow

Paris, Goddess of Herpes, s... (Below threshold)

Paris, Goddess of Herpes, solicits another victim under the pretense of learning French.

Upon meeting Captain Pitche... (Below threshold)

Upon meeting Captain Pitcher of the LAPD Vice Division, Paris says coyly, "Officer, you should give me a ticket .... I've been doin' over 80."

(Reference: http://www.lapdonline.org/lapd_command_staff/comm_bio_view/7657)

"With that many candles on ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"With that many candles on your cake we don't even need the flash, Hef."

A sated Hugh asks, "Guess w... (Below threshold)
La Mano:

A sated Hugh asks, "Guess what my favorite thing is in Paris . . . . . and it's not the Eiffel Tower"

When asked about Easter a g... (Below threshold)
Le Beret:

When asked about Easter a glazed Heffner responded, "I spent the entire weekend in Paris."

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.






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Section Editor: Maggie Whitton

Editors: Jay Tea, Lorie Byrd, Kim Priestap, DJ Drummond, Michael Laprarie, Baron Von Ottomatic, Shawn Mallow, Rick, Dan Karipides, Michael Avitablile, Charlie Quidnunc, Steve Schippert

Emeritus: Paul, Mary Katherine Ham, Jim Addison, Alexander K. McClure, Cassy Fiano, Bill Jempty, John Stansbury, Rob Port

In Memorium: HughS

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